The Game Changer - chapter 13 (Patreon)

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Without any further adieu...

---------The Game Changer--------

Chapter Thirteen

Abbie was absolutely thrumming with excitement on the heels of the first official Red Fox win of the season. It was like being on cloud nine.

And she was surrounded by it, wrapped up in it.

The girls had made her even more proud by being gracious, magnanimous sports, congratulating the other team and looking like they meant it. Now, though, that their opponents had vacated the field, they were gleefully celebrating.

Cassie was out there with them, being hoisted in the air in celebration by different girls, and her squealed giggles were loud enough to echo over to where Abbie was on the sidelines, after she walked back from a short conversation with the coach of the other team.

Kasey, who’d been very sweet and apparently hadn’t heard from any gossip circles that Abbie was now the coach. Even though she’d been dying to celebrate with the girls – even more so with Rose – she’d slipped into that mindset she’d developed after becoming a name. The one that put on the polite, friendly smile. Which was easy, when people were respectful.

Now, though, she was ready to celebrate.

She was practically vibrating with it, and she acted on this thrill as she came up behind Rose, who was still standing at the sidelines, and wrapped her arms around her, squeezing tightly as she brought herself flush against Rose’s back.

“We did it!” She whisper-shouted, keeping Rose bracketed in her arms as she rocked them side to side.

When she’d first put her arms around Rose, she’d felt her pause ever so slightly, but then she’d relaxed back against Abbie. Much like she had nearly two weeks ago, at her house, when Abbie had embraced her.

It was a new thing she was doing with Rose, after she’d opened up so much. She knew adult-Rose wasn’t the same as teenager Rose, obviously. She knew Rose had a life with love, with Cassie and even Nathan. But none of that stopped Abbie from feeling the overwhelmingly strong need to be one of those supports for Rose.

She’d done it in small increments for the last couple of weeks, upping her physical touches enough that Rose seemed to relax into her quickly. She never shied away, never pulled away. And Abbie took that seriously – Rose trusted her.

Most unexpectedly since coming home, she’d not only found herself with Rose’s full and complete trust in her, but… she trusted Rose, too. It meant so damn much to her.

It made her feel so soft inside, but also thrilled her. An interesting combination, but a very intoxicating one.

Intoxicating, much like the way the nape of Rose’s neck smelled, pressed against Abbie’s nose. Her long, dark hair was pulled into a ponytail, brushing against Abbie’s face as she inhaled.

Rose cleared her throat, roughly. “All right, Lemon. We didn’t actually play in the game, you know.”

Abbie blinked her eyes open, feeling her cheeks heat slightly, even as a smile tugged up at her lips. She sighed, reluctantly, as she released Rose. There was really something to be said, she’d learned, about the way Rose fit against her.

Plus, the wind was a little chilly, and Rose had been so warm.

“Being on the field is irrelevant. We won,” she affirmed. “We’re part of the team. The girls win, we win.” As simple as that.

Rose turned to face her, her cheeks flushed possibly from that early-evening chill. “I think Cassie feels the same way you do.”

Cassie, who was out running around on the field with the girls.

Abbie’s smile grew wider. “Exactly.”

She realized in that moment that Rose hadn’t been joining in on the celebration before she’d approached; she’d been looking down at her phone, which was still in her hand.

“And what could possibly be more engaging on your phone than indulging in our newfound victory?” She sort-of teased, but was also very curious.

Rose swiftly locked her phone before she tucked it into her back pocket. “It’s – nothing.”

Interest absolutely piqued in a way it hadn’t been only moments ago, Abbie took a beat, studying Rose carefully. “It’s nothing? I think that is the least Rose answer in the world.” At Rose’s skeptical, arched eyebrow, she explained, “You know, typically you’d give a reason why you’re being evasive. At the very least something like it’s none of your concern.”

She folded her arms over her chest, mouth tugging into a grin that she couldn’t temper, as she awaited Rose’s response.

She wasn’t disappointed with how hard Rose rolled her eyes.

“Okay, then: it’s none of your concern,” she said, in that perfectly imperious tone.

Abbie shrugged, even as the desire to know burned through her. “Okay, then. Thank you for being willing to stay on brand.” She deliberately spun to look out at the girls, who seemed to be in no rush to go back to the locker room. Then glanced back at Rose out of the corner of her eye.

Rose was already – still? – looking back at her. “You really suck at pretending not to be nosy.”

“I know,” she easily admitted, turning back to face her and giving up any semblance of a façade. “And you are really good at acting like you are unaffected or aren’t noticing things, so I’m making sure you know I’m interested.”

She couldn’t help it. Rose hardly ever was on her phone; they’d now officially been friends for a month – had many lunches together, were at practices together nearly daily, had the occasional hangout outside of work – and Abbie hadn’t ever seen Rose pick up her phone for something that wasn’t work or Cassie related. She never looked at it when Cassie was in eyesight, while they were on the field.

Rose let out a short, frustrated sigh. “Cassie’s sitter canceled tonight.”

“Her sitter?” She echoed in confusion.

“Yes, since Nathan is at his conference this weekend, and I have her tonight,” Rose informed her, as if she needed to be informed.

She shook her head. “No, I know that.” Rose had told her about it over lunch earlier this week, that she would have Cassie on Friday night and then throughout the entire weekend. And Abbie had taken a pause to really applaud the fact that Rose and Nathan had genuinely mastered the art of coparenting. “It’s the reason why you need a sitter that I’m drawing a blank on.”

She tilted her head, walking through her thoughts to see if she was missing anything, but – no. Rose hadn’t shared any weekend plans with her.

Rose worked her jaw back and forth slightly, before she stated, “I have a date. Tonight was the only time that could work for both of us. Inconvenient, given that this is one of the only Friday nights I have Cassie, but I’d made arrangements with her typical babysitter. But apparently, she’s sick.”

And just like that, the din of excitement that had been pulsing through her came to an abrupt halt. That had been so far down on the list of possibilities, Abbie hadn’t even considered it, and she found herself blinking widely back at Rose, feeling almost like she was unable to comprehend.

“A date?” She repeated back. “You have a date tonight?”

Rose crossed her arms over her chest right back, obviously defensive. “Yes. I do.”

Still unsure of how exactly to process, she shook her head. “I don’t – I mean, I just didn’t realize… how did you meet this woman?”

Did she work at the school? Abbie swiftly felt her hackles rise; did they work together?! Where else did Rose go? By her own admission, she didn’t hang out with other sapphic women, hence the hangout the other week, and –

“I’m on the apps,” Rose uttered the word like it was poison, and she wanted it out of her mouth as soon as possible.

The shock of that revelation rocked through Abbie, literally knocking her back a step. “The apps? Like. The dating apps?”

Rose huffed out an impatient breath. “Obviously.” She eyed Abbie, clearly skeptical if not a little embarrassed. “You can’t be that surprised; two weeks ago, I said I would probably be on them now that my divorce is officially filed.”

“I… know,” she acknowledged, feeling so – off-kilter.

Everything had just become so unexpected. She hadn’t anticipated any of this, not at all. In fact, she’d anticipated that they would hang out together, probably. Especially now that they’d won!

But they didn’t have plans, or anything, she grudgingly supposed. Just because they’d spent time together after every other game so far didn’t mean it set a precedent. Technically.

“I didn’t realize you did it. You already set up profiles and swiped and talked and arranged a date,” she listed the steps more of herself than Rose, wrapping her mind around it. “And you didn’t tell me?”

Okay, that was definitely a part of… whatever she was feeling, too. Rose hadn’t told her about any of this, even though they spent so much time together? Like, all of the time?

Rose rolled her lips tightly together, darting her eyes away from Abbie’s face out to the field. “Yes, well. It wasn’t like this has consumed my life or anything. I’ve only been “talking” to this woman for two days.”

“Two days? How well do you even know her?” Abbie felt her eyebrows furrow together low on her forehead, but – this definitely didn’t sit well. Who was this woman? Was talking to someone for two days enough to really know them well enough to go out on a date?

Rose’s gaze flicked back to her, obviously exasperated. “She suggested we meet, and I’d certainly rather do that than make ridiculous small talk via text, investing time and energy that I don’t have without even knowing if we would find one another attractive or appealing in person. I don’t want to waste my time.”

Abbie blew out a deep breath, nodding in understanding. Even if she felt surprisingly resistant to this bombshell that had been dropped on her, she understood what Rose was saying.

And – they were friends.

Abbie was a great friend. It was something she’d always prided herself on.

“But I might just need to call tonight a wash–”

“I’ll watch Cassie,” she offered, with the echo of being a great friend playing through her mind.

Putting her hypothetical money where her mouth was. She couldn’t just say she was a good friend but not actually act like one. It went against her code of ethics.

Rose cut herself off, staring intently at Abbie. Inscrutable, but intense.

Finally, she said, “You don’t need to do that.”

“No, but I’m happy to.” Was she? She didn’t really feel happy right now. But she didn’t have the time to linger on that, so she barreled on, “Besides, it’s already after six. Cassie’s supposed to go to bed by, what, eight? What time is your date?”

Rose’s date. Because she was, essentially, a single person. And single people dated.

“Eight,” Rose answered, after a few moments. Like she wasn’t quite sure how to answer.

Abbie put on a smile, because she should. “Great. Good.” She double-checked the time, forgetting that she already knew what time it was. “Um… you have a quick turn-around time. I can wrap everything up here with the team, if you want to get Cassie home and get ready.”

Rose blew out a long, quiet breath, shaking her head slightly. “All right, then. I guess I’ll see you soon.”

Abbie was so very ready to turn back to the field and focus on the team victory.

***

She’d gotten into a good headspace by the time she arrived at Rose’s house, a little over an hour later.

Well, a better headspace. Once she’d wrangled the girls back to the locker room to give them the celebratory victory speech, then made sure everything was orderly and all of the girls had left for the night, she’d taken a beat to let herself sit with the news. Especially when Rose wasn’t standing right next to her, looking at her, and she was able to be logical about it all.

Rose was right; Abbie shouldn’t be surprised by it. Not after the sapphic hangout evening, when Rose had seemed surprisingly into the idea of dating.

She chalked her response up to the combination of two things: first, she’d kind of thought they were both in the same boat of not jumping into the dating world right now. She’d kind of enjoyed that. Second, the fact that Rose’s date was kicking off on a game night.

And that was all… fine.

She reached her hand up to knock on the door, only for it to open before she could do so.

“You changed,” was the first thing Rose said, looking Abbie up and down.

She glanced down at herself, even though she obviously knew she’d changed clothes. “Well, I didn’t think I’d be needing to wear my official coaching regalia here…?”

Mostly, she didn’t know why Rose was looking at her any differently. Fine, Abbie had switched from the jeans and Red Fox jacket she’d been wearing to a sweatshirt and joggers. Big deal. She was babysitting – more aptly, she was going to be sitting on the couch making sure nothing went awry while Cassie was in bed.

“Also, you changed,” she breathed back.

Rose was the one wearing a short, black cocktail dress. One that left her shoulders and arms bare, hugging her body before it cut off mid-thigh, and Abbie could hardly breathe.

She knew that Rose was hot. This was an undeniable, inarguable truth. She’d accepted it long ago. Like, grass was green. The sky was blue. Rose Elliston was unfairly, timelessly attractive. Check. She saw Rose nearly every day. Not that she ever “got used” to Rose being so attractive, but she was… accustomed to it.

And, sure, there were moments throughout the last month that the reality of just how attractive Rose was slapped her right in the face. When she rolled up her sleeves on the button-ups she wore at work, those forearms on display. Or when she wore her casual athletic wear onto the field for practices, reminding Abbie that she had the body of a goddess.

Rose was stunningly beautiful. Even in high school, Abbie had always thought so. Again, everyone with eyes knew this.

But in this dress, Rose wasn’t just casually gorgeous, the way she always was, the way Abbie had made peace with and was able to quietly admire. She wasn’t even just stop-in-your-tracks beautiful, the way she’d effortlessly looked at the team party.

She was fucking hot.

Like. So, so hot.

Like, reminding Abbie that she hadn’t had sex in the better part of a year kind of hot.

Like, Abbie could barely string her thoughts together in a cohesive manner kind of hot.

It wasn’t like Abbie ever forgot about the fact that they’d had sex, or that the night they’d spent together had left the mark as one of the hottest nights she’d ever had. But it also wasn’t something she fixated on, not in a very long time.

Right now, she was thrust right back into that place in her mind.

Rose looked down at herself, smoothing one of her hands down the side of her dress. “Well, I’m certainly not going to wear my coaching outfit on a date.”

Abbie hummed, doing her best to keep her eyes focused on Rose’s face. Her face, where she’d done her makeup to have that kind of smokey effect around her eyes and her lips were glossy and she felt breathless all over again.

“You look good in your coaching outfit,” she managed to say, ticking the corner of her lips up into a smile.

And it was true. Obviously, Rose didn’t look like – like this on the field, but Abbie certainly found her appealing.

Maybe Norah was right, maybe Abbie did enjoy too much athleisurewear.

Rose arched her an exasperated look, even as a small grin slid onto her face. “Be that as it may, I don’t look as good as I should for a wine bar in the back bay.”

Abbie shrugged. “I don’t know, I think if anyone could pull it off it would be you.”

Rose had that whole aura about her. Even if she was wearing her coaching jacket, she looked like she was worth a million bucks. Literally. She exuded that kind of class, especially when she got that look on her face that screamed I’m above this.

Letting out a quiet sigh, Rose stepped back and opened the door a little more. “Come in. I just didn’t want you ringing the doorbell or knocking, because Cassie – as your luck has it – is asleep.”

“Already?”

Rose shut the door with a quiet click, shooting her an amused glance. “Is it just me or do you sound disappointed?”

Abbie shrugged, not denying it. “I mean, a little. I knew she was going to have to get to sleep soon, but I thought we’d be able to hang a bit. She was so excited after the game, but I didn’t get to talk to her much.”

Cassie had taken to being a Junior Coach like a duck to water, and Abbie was loving it.

“I would apologize, but I think it’s best for all involved. She was excited. Bonus points go to me, however, for preparing her dinner and dessert for her to have early, before the game. Which meant that as soon as we got home she was coming down from both her sugar high and the win, and she conked out pretty quickly.”

“I guess I’ll just have to entertain myself.”

“I think you’ll manage,” Rose dryly returned.

Abbie nodded – and, unthinkingly, looked Rose up and down once more.

She couldn’t help it; she felt like a moth to a flame. More aptly, a lesbian unable to stop looking at one of the hottest women she’d ever seen, looking like she was going on a date. With another woman.

Clearing her throat, feeling her cheeks heat, she pointedly glanced around. “Sooo, are we just going to stand here at the door, or…?”

“I – well, I need to keep an eye out. For Jennifer.”

Jennifer. Wait – Abbie did a double take, perplexed.

“Is she coming here? To your house?” She gestured around them.

Rose folded her arms over her chest, tilting her jaw up in that defensive way she had. “Yes. Why do you say it like that?”

Abbie blinked at her for a few seconds, desperately hating this squirmy, unsettling feeling in her stomach. “I don’t know. Are you sure you want to be driving with someone on a first date?”

“And how much dating experience do you have?”

“Not much,” she admitted, easily, tossing her hands into the air. “But enough to know that I don’t want to be stuck with anyone if things don’t go well.”

“We’re driving into downtown Boston. She lives ten minutes from here. Why would we both want to hit traffic and then have to find and pay for parking? And for the record, I will be driving; she’s leaving her car here.”

Abbie couldn’t totally argue with Rose’s logic, even if she still didn’t like it.

Mostly because she couldn’t tell if she was so against everything about Jennifer because of the fact that Abbie – genuinely – wouldn’t want to drive with someone on the first date or because she didn’t feel good about the date as a whole, already.

“As long as you’ll have your car,” she muttered in acquiescence.

“Thanks for your approval,” Rose shot back.

She managed a tight smile. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“I thought it was to babysit my daughter.”

“And be your hype woman,” she added, half-jokingly, half-seriously.

“Is that what you think you’re doing?” Rose asked, dubiously. She shifted the way her arms were crossed, making them push up her incredibly full cleavage even more, so she was ever-so-slightly spilling over the top of the cut of her dress, and Abbie zeroed in on it.

She lost all sense of what they were talking about in those few seconds, even when she forced herself to stop, and look back at Rose’s face.

Rose didn’t miss a beat, as she continued, “I haven’t really gotten the sense that you’re thrilled about this.”

Right.

Shaking her head, Abbie held up her hand in her own defense. “In fairness, I just learned about this less than two hours ago. I haven’t really had much time to adjust to it.”

“What do you need to “adjust” to?” Rose challenged. “I’m going on a date. It doesn’t affect you.”

“It–” Abbie snapped her mouth shut as soon as she felt any returning argument.

Because – technically – Rose was right. It didn’t affect her. At all.

But… but she felt like it did. That was the thing that was tripping her up so much, and she had no idea what to do with it. Rose, in no way, was hers, but – but somewhere along the line in the last month or so, she’d felt a little like… ugh.

Only, that wasn’t Rose’s fault or problem, was it?

“You’re right,” she quietly agreed, taking a mental and physical step back, forcing herself to just… be calm.

Also to step out of Rose’s orbit where she was starting to feel a little lightheaded wrapped up in whatever perfume Rose was wearing tonight. It was similar to what she wore on a daily basis, but… headier?

Whatever it was, it was bad news for Abbie.

“I was just surprised. But if you’re ready for a relationship, then – great. That’s… that’s really great.” When she managed another smile, this time it felt far more genuine.

Regardless of her surprisingly messy feelings right now, Rose deserved this. She’d left Nathan, totally started rebuilding her life, so she could live authentically. As a lesbian. Which meant, ultimately, being with a woman. This was the obvious next step, and Rose deserved that.

Under all of the nonsensical feelings, Abbie really believed that.

Rose was clearly biting at her inner-cheek, before the tension that had held her posture taut slipped slightly. “I highly doubt that I’m going to be in a relationship with Jennifer, or any other woman I meet in the near future on these apps. That’s really not the point.”

Abbie absorbed that information, and… yeah, it didn’t make her feel much better. Because what that said to her was that Rose was looking for sex, and god, she didn’t like that, either. “Hmm.”

As a “supportive friend” that was all she could manage right now.

“I just mean – look. I’ve never had any real experience with dating,” Rose admitted, and there was a nervous vulnerability that broke through, rippling through her soft tone.

And, just like that, it broke through everything else Abbie was feeling. Everything inside of her softened in an instant.

“You know my history. In terms of dating, it’s only been Nathan, and that wasn’t exactly typical. Not only were we teenagers, but…” She trailed off, tightly rolling her lips.

Abbie nodded in understanding, aching with sympathy.

“Ultimately, sure, I want a relationship. I don’t have an ardent desire to date casually; I don’t have the time for that. I need to think about Cassie. But…” Rose’s eyes were so dark and so intense as she stared at Abbie, pausing for a few seconds. “But this is the life I want. And unless someone falls into my lap out of the blue who has the same vision for the future that I do, then I need to get more comfortable with this. Because I’m a little nervous about it, Lemon. And I don’t enjoy that feeling. So, that’s what I’m doing.” Rose inhaled deeply, pulling her shoulders back, as if needing to regroup after being so brutally honest. “If you have any helpful thoughts on that or regarding dating, you may proceed.”

That snapped clarity into Abbie more than anything.

She put aside whatever weird, complicated, unexpected feelings this worked up inside of her, and focused only on Rose.

“You don’t have anything to be nervous about, first and foremost,” she said, quietly but firmly.

“I happen to know that my personality can be seen as a little prickly,” Rose retorted, dryly. But there it was, that edge of vulnerability again.

“Yes, but that’s a part of your charm.” Just as Rose rolled her eyes at her, Abbie stepped forward and doubled-down. “I mean it. Look, I’ve kept coming back, right?”

Rose snapped her eyes up to Abbie’s, wide and questioning.

She felt her heart skip a beat. “I just meant… I mean, sure. If Jennifer, or whoever else, has a really thin skin and is going to need you to be warm and cuddly and vulnerable from day one, then – yeah, you might not be a match made in heaven,” she acknowledged, breathing out a disbelieving chuckle at the very idea.

When Rose cracked a smile, too, Abbie felt a surge of excitement. Not unlike what she’d felt when the team had won earlier tonight.

Encouraged by it, she took another step forward, reaching out to smooth the one wayward wavy strand of hair back down. Curving the silky soft dark hair behind Rose’s ear, as she continued, “You’re absolutely the most attractive woman Jennifer has ever seen on any dating app. She’s going to lose her mind when she sees that you’re even more attractive than in your pictures.”

“You never saw my pictures,” Rose murmured, her voice hoarse. Her breath was warm, washing over Abbie’s jaw.

“I don’t need to,” she assured, her heart pounding in her chest.

Did it just get warmer in here, or…?

The sound of a car door shutting outside was muffled through the door, but was enough to snap Abbie back into reality. Snap them both into reality.

Rose was going on a date tonight. And the date – Jennifer – was here.

She still felt entirely too warm, which combined with that horrible feeling curling through her stomach to make her feel… not so good.

With a deep breath, she stepped back, giving Rose a smile she hoped was encouraging. “Uh. So. Go get ’em.”

Rose bit at the inside of her cheek, before she nodded sharply, shortly. “Okay. I won’t be out late. Text or call if there’s anything you need. Cassie should be fine, but–”

Abbie waved her off. “I’ll be fine with Cassie.” She tilted her head at the front door, teasing, “You should intercept her before she rings the doorbell, though.”

“Right,” Rose breathed out, glancing from Abbie to the door, and rolling her shoulders, like she was doing a complete system reset. Only for her to dart her eyes around, and swear softly, “Damn. I left my jacket upstairs.”

She looked between the stairs and the front door – which was a ticking timebomb, given that they knew Jennifer was already out of her car.

Rose looking the closest thing to frazzled Abbie had ever seen was more than a little endearing. And it did nothing to assuage that feeling of wanting to make sure Rose had a good experience with this, that she felt comfortable in her skin and confident in herself when it came to dating after everything she’d gone through to get to this point.

“I’ll intercept her,” she found herself offering, even before she registered it.

Rose eyed her, dubiously. Like she was even more uncertain about Abbie’s offer than Abbie was, which really didn’t make any sense. Still, she huffed out a quiet breath before nodding. “I’ll be right down.”

With that, she turned to jog up the stairs, and Abbie only took a single – well, a couple – seconds to watch her go. But… who wouldn’t, in that dress?!

God.

Shaking herself out of it, she braced herself and turned to open the door.

On one hand, she kind of really would prefer not to know this Jennifer as a real person.

On the other hand, she wanted to lay her eyes on her, to get a sense of who the person taking Rose out on this date was. And her nosy side would have won out even if she hadn’t offered to intercept her.

Jennifer had just walked to the top step and paused a few feet away as she took notice of Abbie. She was an inch or two shorter than Abbie was, with blonde hair cut into a stylish bob. The dress she was wearing was similar to Rose’s, one that spoke of fashion and expense.

She supposed it made sense, given where Jennifer had chosen to go tonight. Well, she assumed Jennifer had chosen it; she should follow up on that. Was a new, chic wine bar the place Rose would ideally like to go on a date? Seemed like pertinent information to have.

“Oh. Hi. I… thought you were a brunette,” Jennifer said, looking Abbie up and down, before arching her a questioning look.

“She is,” Abbie answered, remaining in the doorway as she sized Jennifer up. “Rose is,” she amended.

And, like, did this woman have no visual comprehension? It wasn’t just the hair color; she and Rose looked virtually nothing alike.

Jennifer let out a quiet laugh. “Okay, great. I mean, I wouldn’t have been disappointed if it turned out you were the person I was going out with.” She assured, with a smile Abbie could only grudgingly describe as charming. “But I would have been a little confused given that… well, I wouldn’t assume you would need to use someone else’s photo to get favorable attention.”

Abbie knew that was a compliment, but all it did was make the alarm bells sound inside of her mind. This woman was here to pick Rose up for a date, so why would she make a comment that sounded in any way flirtatious to Abbie?!

Huge red flag.

“I’m the babysitter for the evening,” she explained. “And Rose just ran upstairs to grab her jacket.”

“The… babysitter?” Jennifer drawled, seemingly… skeptical? She shook her head, before re-focusing on Abbie, studying her. “Sorry, I’m just – I really feel like I know you from somewhere.”

Abbie didn’t like to say things like oh, I’m an Olympic athlete because it sounded incredibly full of herself. Also, she no longer was. Well, she was, but – anyway.

She didn’t want to get into that with Jennifer.

“I’m from the area,” she offered instead. True, but also definitely not what Jennifer was asking about. “Are you?”

She would actually love that information. Was Jennifer from the area? What was her profession? What was her last name? All reasonable questions for Rose – and thus, as Rose’s friend, Abbie – to have answers to.

Before Jennifer answered, Rose emerged from behind Abbie. Well, appeared at her side, pressing into her, as she scooped her hair from the collar of the jacket.

“Sorry for the wait; just needed to grab my jacket,” she explained, giving Jennifer a smile.

Abbie frowned at it.

Because it was a weird smile.

Not that Rose didn’t look good; she… she looked beautiful.

But she also looked not like any version of Rose Abbie had ever known. This was Rose going into something with a fresh start, she realized. With Jennifer, there was no baggage, no history, no complications in any way.

Maybe it was some sort of bias, but Abbie preferred the Rose she had. The one that gave a lot of sharp looks, and her smiles were always loaded with something more.

Jesus, she needed to get her shit together.

“Well worth the wait,” Jennifer commented, turning her own bright smile to Rose as she very obviously checked her out.

And who wouldn’t? Abbie could barely keep her eyes off of Rose, too.

But it didn’t mean she wanted to be around for this. In fact, she very much did not want to see it.

She cleared her throat. “You two should probably go, if you have a reservation or something.”

Wasn’t that supportive of her?

Jennifer nodded. “You’re absolutely correct. Are you ready? Still good to drive?”

Rose gave her a short, perfunctory nod. “Yes, to both.” She turned to look at Abbie, and it was only at that moment that she registered how very little space there was between them as they stood together in the doorway.

Only inches. And with Rose wearing her heels, she was just barely shorter than Abbie, so everything – their bodies, their faces – aligned.

“I checked on Cassie. Out like a light,” Rose said, quietly. It wasn’t like she was telling Abbie a secret but it almost felt like that, breathed out between them.

“Awesome,” she murmured back. “I’ll… well, I’ll be here.”

Rose nodded back, nearly imperceptibly, as she stared at Abbie for another moment, and she swore there was something on Rose’s mind.

But Jennifer was here, and Rose was going on a date with her, and –

“I’ll see you in a bit,” Rose murmured, before finally stepping out of the doorway and onto the porch.

With Jennifer, her date.

Awesome.

***

Abbie had brought a book that she’d had every intention of reading.

She really thought she’d have more time to relax, to read, to bake – hobby things – now that she “retired” from soccer. From the hours and hours of practice and strategy planning and all of the preparation that went into playing at that level.

But she really didn’t. In some ways, she had even less time with her hobbies in the last couple of months.

Because it wasn’t like she’d retired in a traditional sense, she supposed. She still had a job. And this job… well, the stakes were lower technically, that was true.

But she didn’t really feel that way.

With every practice that she saw the improvements on the team, with the victory earlier tonight, she was so – invested. No, it wasn’t her career on the line, but these girls were just starting their lives. Even if none of them went to the next level in the sport, this was a big part of their world, their futures.

And she got to do it with Rose.

She huffed out a breath, frustrated with herself.

Rose had only been gone for less than an hour, and she’d popped into Abbie’s mind about a dozen times.

Which was really fucked up, because Abbie was great at choosing what to focus on or boxing something out. Not long-term compartmentalization, the way Rose obviously had lived her life. But for shorter periods of time? Of course. Like, when she was on the field, she blocked out everything else.

Right now, though, she couldn’t think about anything but Rose. Rose on a date.

She groaned – softly,  mindful of the noise with Cassie upstairs – and dropped her book to the cushion next to her, as she let her head fall back to the soft fabric.

When she’d come over here for the first time, weeks ago, she and Rose had sat on this couch together, after Rose had come out to her and given her some clarity, and they’d had a moment. Undeniably, it had been a moment.

Her stomach cramped slightly, and she blinked up at the photos on the walls.

Well, she could only see the underside of the frames from here. So, she stood up and turned to peruse, this time closer than before. The first time she’d been in Rose’s house, she’d looked around, and she’d taken note of things the last time she was here, too.

But being here now, without being watched by Rose, gave her license to be even nosier.

And Abbie loved being nosy.

Mostly, right now, she wanted to study the expressions on photo-Rose’s faces. She wanted to know if she was completely wrong or reading into the smile-thing.

But, she didn’t think so.

The most genuine smile Rose wore in any photos on display in the house were with Cassie, and Abbie had seen that. Been awed by it already, multiple times.

There was the one she had on the field, from in the past when they were playing and now when they were coaching. That victorious, proud smile. Also different.

And she really, really couldn’t help but wonder what Rose was like on a date.

That was what circled through her mind the most.

It was an experience she’d never had, which felt crazy because they’d literally had sex. Maybe that wasn’t crazy for everyone in the world, but it was crazy for Abbie, who’d never cared to have casual sex.

Maybe that was what had made the night with Rose different, even back then. Sure, they hadn’t been in a relationship or anything, but Rose hadn’t quite been “casual” to her, either. Certainly not a stranger.

Would Rose smile at Abbie like that, if they went on a date? She couldn’t imagine Rose like that, even though she’d been trying to. She had to imagine that smile was for someone that didn’t have a past with Rose.

Maybe Rose wouldn’t be so acerbic or have all of those edges to her that Abbie was not only accustomed to but actually liked, if she was able to start something with someone totally new to her.

She really didn’t know what to make of that.

Now that she had the whole picture of Rose, the zoomed out view of her entire life, she understood all of those sharp edges. She found Rose’s innate snark and her eyerolls and ire appealing, in ways she wouldn’t with someone else.

God, when had that happened?

She reached up, scrubbing her hands over her face, as she felt an awareness slide through her. Making her feel both laden down with dread and nerves, but also exhilarated.

How the hell was it possible that she had a – well, crush felt ridiculous and not as all-encompassing as she would like, but it also seemed to suit the situation – crush on Rose Elliston? Now? As fully-grown, fully-developed adults?

She’d never not been attracted to Rose, but in the weeks of spending time with her, getting to see all the way underneath the prickly exterior… it was more.

She looked forward to spending time with her at practice. Hell, she looked forward to it so much she brought her lunch to Rose’s office just about every day. When she woke up for the day, even before leaving the house, she thought about what they were going to talk about, and the idea of it put an extra pep in her step.

Every time they verbally sparred, she felt that electric awareness buzz through her, and she anticipated the next time.

And then, to deepen it all, there was this… this sense of protectiveness she felt, now. This deep, aching sympathy and softness inside of her, now knowing everything Rose had been through. The way she’d felt when Rose had leaned into Abbie’s embrace the other week at her house… she just wanted to stay there, right there, and let Rose know everything was going to be okay. Abbie had her – physical, emotionally, she was there for her.

“Oh my god,” she breathed out, bending at the waist as she kept her head buried in her hands.

How had this crept up on her like this?

How had Rose fucking Elliston become the part of her life that she was most excited about? Most wrapped up in, invested in?

And what in the hell was she supposed to do about it?

“Abbie?”

Cassie’s voice broke into her spiraling thoughts, and she snapped her head up, looking out through the doorway of the living room.

Cassie was squatting down on one of the stairs in the middle of the staircase, holding onto the spindles as she stared at Abbie through the gap.

She’d been so deep into her revelation, she hadn’t even heard Cassie get up! The whole reason she was here tonight, because it sure as hell wasn’t to watch Rose go out with another woman.

Shaking her hands out slightly, she straightened up and fixed an easy smile onto her face.

“Hey, Cassadilla. Everything okay?”

In her red pajama set with her dark hair all mussed from having been asleep, Cassie looked absolutely fucking adorable. And with the way her dark eyes narrowed skeptically, she looked so much like Rose, and she was even more adorable. “Where’s my mom?”

Abbie had walked to the bottom of the stairs, and she froze at the question. Yikes. Had Rose not told Cassie she was going out tonight?!

“Uh.” She reached up, combing her hand through her hair. “Why don’t we get you situated back in bed and we can talk then instead of on the stairs?”

Cassie had stood up, still gripping one of the spindles in one of her hands, as she pouted down at Abbie. But she finally released a sigh. “Oooookay.”

With that, she turned and marched up the stairs, very clearly deliberately stomping her feet down louder than normal.

Abbie couldn’t help but smile, so incredibly amused, and was glad Cassie wasn’t looking at her. She followed her up the stairs and decided she had to be grateful for Cassie waking up, in a messed up kind of way. At least it was something to distract her from the barrage of thoughts about Rose.

When Cassie was situated back in her bed – she climbed in and flopped down, staring directly at Abbie the whole time as if to make sure Abbie knew she was following her directive – Abbie sat down at the edge of the bed.

“Did your mom tell you she was going out tonight?”

Cassie stared up at her, bottom lip poking out into a frown. “Yeah. So?”

Good. Okay, Abbie could work with that, and she managed to bite back the laugh at the little attitude, knowing Cassie wouldn’t appreciate it. “So, she’s still out. But I’ll be here until she comes home, if you need anything. Okay?”

Cassie squirmed around, before huffing out a long exhale, and setting her jaw as she looked up at Abbie, eyes imploring, as she asked, “But where is she?”

“She’s only about twenty minutes away.” With no traffic, which seemed implausible – but Cassie didn’t need that detail. “She went to meet a new friend to hang out for a little while.”

And give her that smile. Abbie’s stomach churned.

“What friend?” Cassie pushed to know, her eyes narrowing.

It seemed they were in on this together, then. Unwittingly, but Abbie would take it.

“Uh, I don’t know her that well,” Abbie answered honestly, but also without giving anything away. This was definitely a landmine she wasn’t going to step in.

Cassie’s little hands curled into her blanket as she bluntly asked, “Is she on a date?”

Abbie managed to school her expression into total neutrality, despite the resounding alarms buzzing through her mind. Red-alert.

“What do you know about dating?” She turned the question on Cassie rather than answer, and was proud of herself for it.

“I know, um,” Cassie shook her head back and forth against her pillow, managing to look both incredibly adorable and so wildly serious at the same time. “That people do it when they do a divorce. Like my mom and dad are.”

Ah, and what an astute child she was. Abbie slowly nodded, working through the best way to respond. “You’re right, dating is something people do when they aren’t married anymore. But I think you just have to wait and see if your mom tells you if she’s dating someone. Otherwise, it’s probably just a friend. Everyone needs friends, even grown-ups.”

She lightly, teasingly, reached out to poke at Cassie’s side through the blanket, and loved the smile that flashed over her face as she rolled over, onto her stomach.

“Well, I don’t want her to have friends. ’Cept for you,” Cassie murmured, sternly, as she pushed her face into her pillow, her tone a little petulant. As to be expected, for a groggy five-year-old who was onto something way beyond her years.

She hadn’t expected this swift ping right to the heart, melting through her.

Abbie didn’t even realize she was nodding in agreement until she’d already done so, and she froze, forcing herself to stop. But lord help her, she realized how very much she agreed with Cassie, even though Cassie didn’t really know what she was saying.

But no, Abbie didn’t really want Rose to have “friends” like Jennifer, either.

She felt that warm, buzzy feeling shoot through her mixed with the knee-jerk ugh reminder that Rose was “dating” now. But she forced herself to push it all down for now. Yeah, not something she was going to process with Cassie looking at her through one weary eye that wasn’t smushed deeply into her pillow.

She kept the eye trained on Abbie, heavily lidded and sleepy, but resolutely not closing, determined to stay away. Rose’s daughter through and through.

Time to move the conversation along.  

“You know, my mom and dad got a divorce when I was a little older than you are,” she said, softly, reaching out to rub small circles on Cassie’s back.

Would she like that? Abbie had always loved that when her mom had done it. She still did, if her mom walked by when she was laying on the couch or something.

“Your… dad?” Cassie asked, her voice heavy with sleep, but obviously still awake enough to process and be confused. “But – but you have two moms.”

“I do. But my mom – the one who looks like me – used to be married to my dad. And they got a divorce when I was just a little older than you are. And it was… complicated. Adjusting to new parts of your life can be hard sometimes.”

She, of course, would not delve into any details with Cassie. Least of all that it was complicated because her father was a piece of shit who wanted to make her mom miserable.

Clearing her throat, she stayed focused. “You should always talk to your mom and dad when you feel those feelings,” she affirmed, continuing to rub her back.

Feeling the way Cassie’s breathing slowed and deepened, the way her blinking up at Abbie slowed in frequency, staying shut longer and longer. But when she looked at Abbie, it was like…

Like she was looking at her as though everything Abbie said was the answer, she realized. That was the look on her face, and she felt the weight of that responsibility work through her.

“Because your parents really love you,” she finished, quietly.

“You…” Cassie’s eyes closed for a few seconds, before she snapped them open, obviously fighting off falling back to sleep. “Your mom got married again.”

“She did.”

“And – and everyone still loved you?” She questioned, turning to be able to look at Abbie with both eyes, searching her face, as her voice dipped so, so low.

Oh, and there it was.

She felt that echo right through her entire body, landing squarely in her chest, wrapping around her heart. “Yes,” she affirmed, softly but firmly. “My mom loves me so much. And so does my stepmom. Which is really, really amazing for me.”

Cassie continued to look at her without saying anything for several silent seconds, like she was trying to make sure Abbie was telling her the truth.

The best thing for Abbie was that it was the truth, so she didn’t have to even try to put on a front. Of course, the thing Cassie was far too young to hear about was that Abbie’s life when her parents were together was way worse than when they’d gotten divorced.

But the great thing was that, unlike Abbie’s own father, Nathan adored her, and Abbie couldn’t imagine either Nathan or Rose ever dating someone that wouldn’t care for Cassie the way they should.

She stayed in her room for several minutes after Cassie fell back to sleep, before carefully, quietly standing up and tiptoeing out, leaving the door cracked before going back downstairs.

Where she puttered around, listlessly, for over an hour.

The thing was, Abbie wasn’t really someone that agonized over things most of the time. Romantically, either she was able to pursue someone if she was interested in them, or she wasn’t. And if she wasn’t, then she’d have to put in some mental time and energy and get over it.

But Rose…

Well, she feared she was going to agonize.

Was that what she wanted? Did she want to be with Rose, in a clearly defined, romantic way?

It would be complicated. They not only were both coaching the team, but they worked together in a very legitimate capacity, regardless.

Not to mention their past together, which – romantically – had not been positive. Given the whole sexual encounter and then engagement, thing.

Only, at the root of it all, Abbie had liked the possibility of pursuing something with Rose back then. She’d wanted to see if there was something between them, because sexually, they’d been so compatible.

And she knew Rose, now. Like, on a deep level.

Rose had snuck up on her, all – all sneaky, and gained Abbie’s trust, and given her a place to land when she’d come back home, and… and what was Abbie supposed to do about it?

Because, what about Rose?

Were the lines only blurry on Abbie’s side?

It wasn’t like Rose gave huge indications or made any move on her. She’d decided that she was ready to date, but hadn’t indicated as much to Abbie.

And, as she vividly flashed back to that night in college, if there was something she knew about Rose, it was that Rose wasn’t afraid to go after what she wanted. Or… who she wanted.

She’d kissed Abbie. She’d sought Abbie out to have sex with. When Rose had wanted her in the past and had wanted to act on it, she’d made it very, very clear.

Everything inside of her went on high-alert when she heard the quiet rumbling of an engine in the driveway.

She’d been laying in repose on Rose’s couch, a throw pillow held against her stomach as she’d tried to work through how to go about… this. But she sat up sharply, looking around as she brushed her hair back.

They weren’t going to come in, right?

Cassie was upstairs. Abbie was right here, and they both knew that. She couldn’t imagine Rose inviting Jennifer in for a nightcap, given those facts.

Right?!

She heard both car doors open and close a second later, and she was on her feet, her heart pounding in her chest. For no discernable reason. Was she… nervous? Because she was about to see Rose, who she’d now realized she may have like real feelings for?

Maybe.

And she also felt that undeniable sharp bite of jealousy.

Was Rose giving Jennifer that smile again? That uncomplicated, we-don’t-have-a-history-that-makes-this-feel-crazy smile? That fresh start smile that was bright and easy?

Only feeling a little crazy – also more than a little nosy – she tiptoed – for what reason, she didn’t know. It wasn’t like they could see her from outside – over to the window.

And then dropped to a squat, eye-level with the bottom of the window. She couldn’t be too obvious. She was very careful to not jostle the curtain too much as she tugged it up, so she could look out to the front of the house.

She just… she just wanted to see date-Rose. She wanted to glean how well the date had gone.

Plus, it was too late to not do it, she was already here.

Rose and Jennifer were idling outside of Jennifer’s car, talking to one another in words Abbie couldn’t possibly hear. Unfortunately, she couldn’t read lips. One of the worst curses of her eavesdropping, busybody life.

But they seemed to be in good spirits.

Jennifer laughed. She touched Rose’s arm. And lingered.

Abbie hummed under her breath, narrowing her eyes.

Rose smiled back at her, and – yep. It was that fresh-start smile.

But that was it.

After another few seconds, Jennifer dropped her hand and reached into her jacket pocket, emerging with keys.

Rose said something else to her, and Jennifer looked at her with wanting eyes, and chuckled.

And then, Rose was walking up to the porch.

“Could have been a lot worse,” Abbie muttered to herself, before she realized – Rose was already on the porch steps, and would be inside imminently.

She popped up from her perch, thankful to her years of athletic training as the only reason she didn’t fall over from the momentum. Then she darted her eyes around, in a panic.

Rose was at the door already, she could hear the key code; Abbie couldn’t make it back to the couch in time to look casual.

So, she took a few quick steps toward the doorway, leaning against it – casually? – just as Rose opened the door.

“Hey,” she breathed out, her heart pounding in her chest.

For multiple reasons.

Because she was this close to getting caught spying?

Because she’d had her reckoning about what Rose might actually mean to her, and now she was looking her in the eye for the first time, and she felt like her entire world was flipping upside down?

Because Rose was so incredibly, achingly, beautiful, and Abbie suddenly couldn’t look at her the way she’d learned to, in that just be used to it way?

She smiled, hoping to look normal.

Rose frowned at her immediately, as she stepped in and shut the door behind her. She eyed Abbie up and down, inscrutably. “Hey…”

Yes, there was a skepticism in her tone. Fair.

Abbie intended to say something else that sounded normal.

Only, then Rose shrugged off her jacket, and it easily slid over her shoulders, and she was just standing there, in that fucking dress. Just the slightest slip of fabric, and Abbie felt slapped in the face at the ferocity of her attraction.

What the hell was wrong with her? How was it possible that her mind was just, just locking this up, away from her? Was it some sort of guarding mechanism? Keeping her safe from the possibility of Rose until she’d been consciously ready for it, and now… now she was defenseless?

“Were you watching at the door?” Rose asked, toeing off her heels, but keeping her eyes firmly on Abbie.

She didn’t know if she should be thankful for devastated that those heels were gone. Both?

Then she realized what Rose asked, and she reeled back, feeling herself blush.

“What? No,” she scoffed, crossing her arms as she looked deliberately away from Rose, biting at the inside of her cheek.

But she could still feel Rose’s intent, pressing stare, and she sighed, looking back at her.

“I can’t see through the door; I was looking through the window, like any respectable snoop would do.” There. She could own up to it, so she didn’t have to feel like she’d done something deceptive.

Rose’s eyes narrowed, but not into a glare. She was giving Abbie a measuring stare, tinged with… amusement? “I see. And… did you notice anything interesting?”

With that, she walked away from the door and past Abbie. Just close enough that she could feel the brush of her warmth, close enough that she felt herself shiver – then she continued, into the kitchen.

Abbie followed, trying to keep her voice light. Interested. In the friendly kind of way. “Uh… I don’t know – no. It seemed… good.” Ugh, she grimaced at her own weird voice. “Do you think you’re going to go out with her again?”

Rose had grabbed a glass and was filling it up with water, as she offered Abbie a shrug. “I’m not sure.”

Okay, well that gave Abbie nothing. “Did you like her?”

Rose arched her a look over the top of her cup as she took a sip, before answering, “Enough.”

Abbie groaned even as she laughed, tossing her hands in the air. “What does that even mean?”

Abbie had never dated someone and not known after spending hours alone with a woman if she liked her “enough” to pursue something or not. How did Rose not know? Was this a good sign for Abbie? Was it a sign she needed to completely try to put Rose back into the bubble that had popped?

“It means exactly what I said: I liked her enough.” Rose’s eyes narrowed at her, less amused than before, as she asked, “What is with the inquisition?”

“I…” She trailed off, feeling this insane, unwarranted jealousy burning through her. Mixed with the uncertainty of it all. What was better for Rose?

Abbie knew she’d obviously played a big part of Rose’s past romantic feelings, but she also knew there was a hell of a lot of trauma there. For all she knew, Rose had no desire to revisit that in any way. For all she knew, Rose would not only dislike but be upset by Abbie revisiting it.

“Is there a reason you don’t like her?” Rose pressed, placing her glass back on the counter, as she pushed, “Is there some sort of underground lesbian network I don’t know about? Please, feel free to tell me.”

“No,” she breathed out a laugh, feeling her cheeks heat, as she carded a hand through her hair, feeling twisted up in all kinds of knots. “I don’t know that woman at all.”

“Okay. Then, did something happen tonight with Cassie?”

“Ah – no…” She tilted her head in thought, before she shrugged. “We had a little hiccup when she woke up and was looking for you. I obviously didn’t tell her you were out on a date,” she held up her hands defensively. “But she is a smart cookie and was very suspicious.”

Rose accepted that with a nod, reaching up to pinch at the bridge of her nose briefly. “Makes sense. I appreciate you handling it.”

The serious, sharp look was gone when she looked back at Abbie, replaced with something… softer.

“And I apologize if I sounded a little defensive. It’s a kneejerk reaction to being asked so many questions.” She lifted her hand, waving it slightly.

There was something about that moment that really did it for Abbie. That tipped her right over into this longing, heart-skipping-a-beat feeling.

Rose was attractive, always had been. She was funny – unintentionally and deliberately – she was brilliant, multi-faceted… none of that was new.

But this Rose standing in front of her was honest and genuine and reflective. Willing to talk and share and apologize.

And it changed… everything. Rose could be the hottest person alive, but that wasn’t the thing that made Abbie feel swept up. Rose being the most gorgeous person she knew and being emotionally available?

All Abbie could do was thank fucking god Rose hadn’t been this way toward her when they were younger, or her teenaged self would have been put through the ringer.

And wonder how much her adult self could take before the dam broke, because she feared it wasn’t that much.

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