I Knew You Were Trouble - Part 16 (Patreon)

Did I predict this being just under ten thousand words? I sure didn't. But that's Autumn and Maya (and me, I guess) for ya!

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Part Sixteen

Maya had both of her hands firmly planted on the steering wheel of her car, warring with the indecision inside of her.

She hadn’t stopped feeling at-war with herself for two days, and now… she was here.

But she still had time to go back home.

She –

She was jerked out of her thoughts when her phone rang, the sound coming through over her Bluetooth, given that she hadn’t yet committed to shutting her car off.

It was Ruby, and she wondered if talking to her sister – either one – would offer any clarity.

Before she could say anything in greeting, her sister was already speaking, “I know that I already agreed to come, but… can you tell me again why we are bringing the entire family to D.C. tomorrow?”

She stared down at her car speaker, as if her sister could see her eyeroll. “For Autumn’s birthday, I told you that.”

She had, multiple times. And her family had all agreed to come here and bring the whole horde. So, why were they still going over it?

Despite the lack of video on the call, Maya could hear her sister rolling her eyes right back at her. “Yeah, no, I got that. I’m sitting here, having a glass of wine, contemplating getting up and packing the bag for Tommy tomorrow, and wondering… why are we making a pilgrimage for Autumn? Are you two fucking again?”

“Ruby, just go back Tommy’s bag,” Gwen’s voice cut in, exasperatedly, but with that eldest-daughter commanding tone.

Maya lifted her eyebrows. “I didn’t realize this was a Lindsay group discussion.”

Which meant her sisters had already been chatting before conferencing her in, which automatically had her guard lifting a bit. Not that she ever really felt guarded to her sisters, but she was suspicious for sure.

“Well, yeah, first I called Gwen to see if she was thinking about how weird it was,” Ruby said, like obviously. “Maya, we don’t even do this for your birthday,” she pointed out.

She scoffed. “I don’t know why you’re using that like it’s a defense that makes you sound good. If anything, it should make you feel terrible. Guilty. You don’t even all come to see me, the baby of the family – the OG family, no offense to your children – on my birthday.”

“You come up here!” Ruby shot back immediately. “And who lets you stay with them, no questions asked, whenever you come to visit?”

“Mom and dad,” Maya answered without pause. “Gwen and Kiana.”

Gwen hummed in confirmation.

“And me,” Ruby doubled-down, not incorrectly.

But she didn’t have her own room at Ruby’s house, so it was less frequent than when she stayed with her other family members, so Maya felt she was justified in her statement.

“And,” Ruby continued, her voice shifting into her work-tone, more like an interrogation. “Who feeds you the most when you come to see your family?”

“Your husband,” she answered, easily.

“And who brought him into your life?” Ruby asked with a triumphant edge.

“Counselor, give it a rest. I’m not on trial.”

“Fine. And, fair enough. It’s not as though you’ve come to visit much in the last six months…” Ruby trailed off, expectantly.

Maya rolled her eyes once more. “I’ve come to visit plenty.”

“Well,” Gwen cut in, her voice iffy. “Plenty feels like you’re certainly padding the resume.”

“And it’s because – I am so thrilled to bring this back to the original point – you spending ample time with a woman by the name of Autumn Alton. A woman with whom you work. A woman with whom, to the best of my knowledge, you do not have a personal relationship with at this juncture,” Ruby summed up. “So, I can’t help but wonder about the nature of this party you’ve organized.”

“It’s not even really for Autumn,” she defended – kind of? – but it was true.

“Color me very confused,” Ruby stated.

“Same,” Gwen agreed.

Maya dropped her head back, tapping her fingertips against her steering wheel. “It’s more for her sisters. Autumn isn’t really one for parties.”

“… so what are we doing having us all crammed into your apartment?” Ruby’s genuine confusion was evident.

“Because what would make Autumn really happy is making her sisters really happy,” Maya spelled it out for both of her own sisters.

And that was the root of her agreeing to go along with this idea in the first place with Honor and Haven had brought it up to her. That was really the gift she’d thought to give to Autumn for her birthday, but she hadn’t wanted to say that aloud to her when Autumn had asked about gifts. She didn’t want Autumn to think about this party in that way, because her hope was that Autumn, herself, would end up having a good time.

“Babiest sister,” Gwen started, thoughtfully, “Why do you think that having a party full of strangers is going to make Autumn’s sisters – her teenaged, traumatized sisters, who are currently experiencing new people every day – feel comfortable?”

She appreciated that Gwen didn’t sound skeptical, didn’t sound like she believed Maya was completely nuts. Just genuinely uncertain.

Maya thought about everything she’d learned about Honor and Haven in the last month, thought about the looks on their faces when they talked about their past, about their lives.

“Because I think that they really miss being around family,” she explained, softly. “And I know that our family isn’t the same thing as theirs,” and thank fuck for that, “But even beyond family, they’re used to being in a community. They’re used to being surrounded by people.”

And when they’d discussed what they wanted to do in throwing Autumn a birthday party, that was what had tripped them up the most. They clearly had some sort of vision of celebrating Autumn, of having some sort of big – bigger than the four of them, anyway – group, all spending time together. But when they’d started going into that train of thought, they’d become tripped up and unsure and clearly had started not feeling great.

So, Maya was improvising to the best of her ability.

She could help give them a little bit of a bigger village – she could share her village – complete with a little bit of chaos and some cute kids.

Ruby hummed, and begrudged, “All right, what am I supposed to say to that? I’ll pack Tommy’s bag.”

“For the record, we never weren’t coming,” Gwen added.

“True,” Ruby agreed. “I was just having ruminating. And I really can’t help but say… Maya, what are we doing here? Like, what is going on with Autumn? So you two aren’t sleeping together, but you also weren’t really friends – because she didn’t ever really want to have a friendship, and that was the whole… issue – and you’re still spending all of this time with her. So, what is it?”

And wasn’t that the question that could swallow Maya whole if she let it?

“We’re not… not… friends,” she hedged, because it was true. In a sense.

In a weird, kind of fucked up way, she and Autumn were best friends. Neither of them really spent any significant time with other people in their personal lives; with their schedules, neither of them really had personal lives.

It had been a big aspect of their arrangement in the first place.

But it definitely didn’t feel like a friendship. And it definitely didn’t not feel like one, either.

And as the weeks continued to tick by, as she continued to show up for Autumn, she was confused by it all. She didn’t know exactly what was going to happen between them, but she knew it had to come to a head sooner rather than later.

She’d cut things off between them before her feelings could become any more serious than they’d already been.

It was too fucking late for that, wasn’t it?

She’d been teetering on the precipice of falling for Autumn last month, like truly falling for her. And she’d cut off their sexual relationship because she’d known in her bones that if it continued, she wouldn’t be able to continue working with Autumn productively. She wouldn’t be able to keep being with Autumn, day in and day out, without being eaten alive by her feelings.

Maya truly believed she’d done the right thing at the right time.

But life had thrown them this curveball, and now…

Now, even without having sex, she was in so deep with Autumn, Maya couldn’t even see the surface anymore. And because she wasn’t delusional, she couldn’t lie about it to herself.

Knowing Autumn’s past, learning about everything she’d experienced and overcome, experiencing Autumn’s vulnerable side – all of those parts that she buried so far down in the hope that no one could ever bring them to light – had shoved Maya right over this precipice with two hands.

Which also meant that she knew that in the imminent future, she really needed to figure her shit out. Coupled with her desire to do something more, she was already on that path of figuring things out.

Like. Right now.

She was reminded of this fact as her phone buzzed in her lap, signaling an email.

One that she didn’t open yet.

Clearing her throat, she prompted, “Anything you want to add, Gwen?”

Her oldest sister hummed. “Not really. I like Autumn; happy to help ring in her birthday.”

Surprise worked through her, at Gwen’s so-casual claim.

And she wasn’t the only one.

Ruby’s shock echoed through her voice, “You do?”

“I’ve decided that yes, I do. I was left with an overall positive impression of her when I met her at your apartment a couple of months ago–”

“You are betraying Maya right now, Gwen,” Ruby broke in, sounding affronted.

“Betraying me?” She parroted. “I like Autumn.”

“Oh, we knooow,” Ruby sang back. “But we, as your older sisters, aren’t supposed to just give in so easily to the woman you’re in love with who either can’t or won’t reciprocate. And Gwen is usually much more of a hard-ass than I am, so what gives?”

“And,” Gwen firmly continued, “I was on the fence last month, obviously, for the reasons Ruby has listed. But now, knowing what we know, I really feel for her.”

Not that Gwen and Ruby knew any real details; of course, Maya hadn’t shared anything specific. But they knew the broad brushstrokes, especially as Maya had asked them some questions regarding the case.

“Besides, you didn’t see the way she’d looked at Maya, before.”

“No, because no one alerted me that she was there,” Ruby sniffed.

“And I’m very curious to see how she is looking at you tomorrow,” Gwen finished.

Maya felt an anticipatory, excited flutter spiral through her.

And with that, decided this conversation had to end here.

“On that note, I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you, bye.”

She barely waited for their returning comments before she tapped her finger multiple times on the console to end the call.

What would they see tomorrow at the party?

Maya thought about the way she felt when Autumn looked at her, and…

Blowing out a low, deep breath, she cleared her throat and picked up her phone, tapping on the notification in her email.

As she’d suspected, and felt a little spike of nerves, it was from Jillian Miller.

And not her office, either, but her.

Maya –

Apologies for the late hour.

Glad to have seen you again this week, excited that you’d reached out.

Marcia and I caught up today and she, too, reported that your discussion Wednesday was very productive.

Not surprised; anyone that comes with a glowing recommendation from Charlotte holds a lot of weight with me, as I told you.

Beyond that, I’ve really appreciated seeing firsthand how you’ve worked with the Altons. Ultimately, as I believe you discussed with Marcia, that’s precisely what I’m seeking out.

Many people can practice law, not everyone who does has the empathy and emotional capacity to do what we’re doing. This will never be the flashiest office you could find yourself in as you grow your career. Cases like the Altons are only the tip of the iceberg with what we deal with. There are no easy cases here.

That all being said I’m very interested in continuing the process of bringing you on here as an associate.

Let’s talk Monday and discuss details.

Well. Jesus.

She blinked down at her phone, eyebrows lifting high on her forehead. She hadn’t expected that.

Granted, it wasn’t like she’d expected Jillian Miller to laugh her out of her office when she’d reached out at the beginning of the week to set up a meeting. After all, Maya had gone to a good law school, finished top in her class, and – the cherry on top – had a personal recommendation of a very well-respected U.S. Senator. She wasn’t exactly quaking in her boots about being taken seriously.

But she hadn’t expected it to go so quickly. After all, Jillian Miller was renowned in their field.

But she’d had Maya come in expediently and she’d spent two hours Wednesday afternoon with Marcia Fielding, one of the junior partners who worked with Jillian. Marcia had laid it all out for her: with Jillian’s goal in D.C. they wouldn’t be taking on the prestigious, flashy cases she’d become known for litigating for the last twenty years. The money was never going to be obscene. And because of that, it wasn’t often that they attracted top talent.

Not that Maya considered herself “top talent” but she liked to believe she had some promise.

Which was what Jillian was always looking for, according to Marcia. And now, apparently, according to Jillian herself.

She didn’t even have time to really start thinking about this. Literally.

Because her phone vibrated in her hand, alerting her to a new text.

Autumn Alton – 10:23P.M.I looked outside of my window.

Maya inhaled deeply, her stomach fluttering. Well, then.

Still, she egged Autumn on.

Maya – 10:23P.M.I love when you give me riveting play by plays of your evening

She thought back to only six weeks ago, when saying something like that would have verged on being too flirty. Where she wouldn’t question herself, and she’d just question whether or not Autumn would respond.

Now, she wasn’t worried about Autumn’s response, and was far more concerned about how she would ever manage to control herself.

How would she be able to tame these kind of comments with Autumn when they were so close?

Autumn Alton – 10:24P.M.Well, in my designated parking spot that I do not yet have a car to park in, there seems to be a vehicle. I’m used to doing a cursory check in the evening and seeing it empty.

Would you happen to know something about that?

Maya leaned forward and craned her neck up to look toward Autumn’s windows. The one in her living room faced right out over the lot, and it was surprisingly easy to lock gazes with Autumn.

Or maybe it wasn’t a surprise.

Because she’d felt this magnetic draw to Autumn since the day they’d fucking met. Even if Autumn hadn’t felt it back for her, Maya’s draw – her attraction, her curiosity – had started long ago.

In full view of Autumn, she picked her phone back up.

Maya – 10:24P.M.Someone is parked outside of your apartment in your spot? What a fucking creep

Autumn Alton – 10:24P.M.My thoughts exactly.

Maya tapped her thumbs on the sides of her phone, feeling her stomach flip-flop.

The whole reason she hadn’t reached out to Autumn when she’d gotten here was because she wasn’t sure this was a good idea. She wasn’t sure she should be doing this.

But, god, she wanted to so badly.

And fate – as well as Autumn’s guardedness and need to surveil the perimeter – had made the decision for her. Who was she to argue with that?

If she turned around and left now, this situation would be irrevocably weird.

More than anything, though, she didn’t think she could make herself.

She’d been trying so damn hard for the month to keep Autumn at an arm’s length away, and it was never easy. There had been multiple times, now, where Autumn had cried in her arms. Multiple times that Autumn had leaned into Maya for comfort. Multiple times where she’d proclaimed how much she wished they could continue what they’d been doing before.

Even just one more time.

Those had been Autumn’s exact words to her, the ones that had taken root in Maya’s mind. The way Autumn had breathed them out, her voice hoarse and verging on begging.

Maya had tried to distract herself tonight for hours after work by vigorously cleaning her apartment and getting everything ready for the party.

It was now sparkling clean, and she was, on one hand, proud of that. Not that she typically lived in a pigsty, but she didn’t typically have over a dozen people coming over, either.

Tomorrow was Autumn’s official birthday, and she’d be having both of her sisters, their spouses, all three of the kids, her parents, Hamish and his daughter – yes, she had felt sort of weird inviting her given that she’d never met the girl, but she was going for a whole vibe here –  not to mention Autumn, Honor, and Haven at her place.

Hell, she’d even invited Charlotte and told her she could bring Sutton and Sutton’s daughter, both because it aligned with the whole family-theme, and also because she knew that for Autumn, having Charlotte at her birthday party would be like if a celebrity went to a normal person’s birthday.

That had been far weirder for her, given that Charlotte was her boss, and Maya did feel it would be weird to engage with her outside of anything work-related. She did really like and respect Charlotte as her boss, but they weren’t personal with one another.

Charlotte was the epitome of personable. But for most of the time she’d been employed by Charlotte – until very recently – Charlotte kept everything about work. She held boundaries very easily. And Maya was ninety-nine percent sure that it was because until very recently Charlotte didn’t have very much else in her life other than work.

It was probably one of the reasons Autumn was so easily able to identify with her.

Charlotte had also given her a strange look when she’d mentioned the invite, because Maya knew she and Charlotte were both on the same page regarding their professional working relationship. It was weird, inviting her to a personal party. But it was for Autumn.

She was mildly relieved that Charlotte had apologized and disclosed she and Sutton already had plans for Saturday afternoon/evening. No, she didn’t have the same kind of hero worship thing Autumn did for her, but Maya would definitely be feeling more pressure to make sure everything was picture perfect if her senator boss was coming over to hang.

Still, Charlotte’s presence didn’t change the other fifteen people that would be squeezing into her living room/kitchen tomorrow.

And nothing changed the other thing that had been living on a loop in her mind for the last forty-eight hours.

I want to experience us knowing it’s the last time.

Once Maya’s cleaning was done, once she’d fed, watered, and pet Tort, once she’d showered and done everything she possibly could to distract herself, she’d found herself in her car.

The only thing Autumn wanted for her birthday – the only thing that she’d answered with when Maya had prompted – was one more time. Sleeping together once more, knowing it would be the last. Having somewhat of a “real” ending.

Maya wasn’t going to kid herself; she didn’t believe this would resolve her wanting for Autumn.

But her bone-deep craving for Autumn wasn’t going away without sleeping with her, either. So, it couldn’t make it any worse.

And Maya also knew Autumn was very clearly a wildly different person than she was. Maybe for Autumn, the way Autumn compartmentalized and dealt with things, having some sort of distinct, final ending for their sex life would be able to help her sort through things.

Maya – 10:25P.M.If it’s too creepy, I’ll make sure this weirdo leaves ASAP

Anticipation thrummed through her, as she gave Autumn the final choice. The choice to decide whether or not she really wanted to do this.

But Autumn didn’t share in any of Maya’s hesitation.

Autumn Alton – 10:26P.M.I think the weirdo should come upstairs.

***

Autumn was already standing in the doorway when Maya got off the elevator.

Standing in her pajamas – her cute, matching set of cotton pajamas – she stood with her arms crossed over her chest, eyeing Maya closely as she approached.

“Hello, weirdo.”

Her lips ticked into a smile. “Not my favorite nickname I’ve ever had.”

Why did she feel nervous? She’d had sex with Autumn dozens of times, and she couldn’t remember feeling like this, not once. Objectively, it was silly, because now she and Autumn were so much closer than they’d ever been before.

Then again, maybe that was why.

Regardless, she did not enjoy it.

Autumn appeared so stoic, still as a statue, in a way that told Maya she, too, wasn’t feeling totally normal. “What… what are you doing here?”

Maya came to a stop in front of Autumn, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Was it not obvious? Why else would she come over unannounced when they had no plans at almost ten o’clock at night?

“You told me what you wanted for your birthday,” she explained, quietly.

Autumn’s eyes squeezed shut. “And, again, I – I am so sorry for saying that. I had no right to–”

But Maya shook her head, cutting Autumn swiftly off. “I asked what you wanted. And you told me.”

She didn’t want Autumn to apologize for saying it.

“Well, fine, but I shouldn’t have said that,” Autumn sternly said, and – both amusingly and adorably – Maya realized that her stern tone was directed at herself.

She didn’t want to go back and forth about this, though. There was no point, because Maya – well, Maya had already made the decision to come up here.

“Do you want it, or not?” Maya stepped in even closer, close enough that her chest crushed against Autumn’s crossed arms.

It was absurd. Absolutely ridiculous. Because this touch wasn’t sexual in the least, Autumn’s forearms touching the tops of her breasts while fully clothed. But Maya shivered anyway.

She swallowed, arching Autumn a look. “It being me. Obviously.”

She could see how tightly Autumn was gripping her own arms, her knuckles turning white.

“You know that I do,” Autumn replied, tightly.

She was so quiet, Maya had to strain to hear her. But she did.

Her heart beat a little faster, her breath rushing out with that needy excitement. “Are the twins–”

“They went to bed a half hour ago,” Autumn cut her off.

Maya had figured; Autumn told her that the twins had been pretty exhausted the last few days, since starting at their new school. That they’d been going to sleep by nine and waking up by four or five in the morning.

She wondered if she should make the first move. It wouldn’t be abnormal, really, even though Autumn was the one who really ruled their interactions.

The entire reason they were in this predicament was because Maya had nudged Autumn along, pushing right up against where Autumn was comfortable.

Maybe in the future it would be a lesson to her, to be better at not pushing for something from someone who was reluctant to give it.

In a flash, Autumn wrapped her arms around Maya and jerked her closer, crashing their bodies together.

She had about half a second for the surprised squeal to escape from her before Autumn’s mouth was on hers, swallowing every possible sound she could make.

Autumn spun them, turning Maya against the doorjamb and pressing her hips into Maya’s hard, hard enough to keep her pinned. And then she used that freedom for her hands to roam, tracing the shape of Maya’s hips and waist and the sides of her breasts, down to her thighs, and back, up to her ass.

Where she cupped firmly, and forced Maya to rock against her.

Maya held on for dear life, one of her hands digging into Autumn’s shoulder, the other sliding into her hair. That silky soft blonde hair was hanging down her back in a loose braid, and she longed to see it down. The way she always did.

She’d never been kissed like this in her entire life. Never. Not even by Autumn.

Autumn’s kiss had been hot and hungry and demanding and wanting; she’d felt all of those things with her in the past. She’d reveled in all of them, many times.

She could feel that now, too. That consuming feeling, both in Autumn’s kiss and already starting to course through her veins, starting in that needy throbbing settling between her legs, especially with the pressure she felt as Autumn kept her rocking against her thigh.

Autumn’s hands gripped her hips, the strength and intensity bruising even through Maya’s clothing, and no part of her could pretend she wasn’t living for this.

Even though they hadn’t really resolved anything, even though things were more complicated now than ever with how entangled they’d become in the last month, Maya felt so alive. Like Autumn’s touch gifted her with life.

She’d wanted this for weeks. She’d wanted this painfully, wanted this through the pain of needing to accept that she couldn’t have Autumn the way she wanted so deeply. Wanted this through the quieter, softer moments of getting closer to Autumn and the twins.

Choked off moans sang from her throat, and the doorframe was biting into her back and –

“Wait,” she murmured against Autumn’s mouth, using the hand she had in Autumn’s hair to gently tug.

Which she had to do a second time, as Autumn determinedly continued to kiss her, breathing out little needy sounds against her mouth.

“Autumn,” she managed, dropping her head back, her heart hammering in her veins. “We’re – the hallway. We’re basically in the hallway.”

There, god, in between panting breaths, she’d managed some coherency.

But they’d never done something so… exposed like this.

When she blinked her eyes open, she could see down the well-lit hallway of Autumn’s complex, and if any of her neighbors opened their door right now, they’d get one hell of a show.

No matter what, though, even that time at work – everything they did was always done sequestered behind closed doors. Autumn, usually, was the one who would make sure of that.

Autumn hummed in the back of her throat as she lifted her head.

Her eyes were heavily lidded and her lips were darker and damp and her face was flushed, and even though she looked around like she really hadn’t remembered that they were in the open doorway like this, she didn’t pull back from Maya. Her hips still pinned Maya right to the spot.

And then, just as quickly as this had begun, Autumn reached up and took Maya’s hand in hers, leading Maya into her apartment. She quickly shut the door and turned the lock before practically dragging Maya toward her bedroom.

She only faltered when they past the twins’ door, and she squeezed Maya’s hand once, before she let it go. “I – go to my room? I’m just going to make sure they’re asleep.”

Maya nodded, taking herself out of view.

Yeah, the last thing she needed was for Honor and Haven to spot her here, like this. Not when they were already asking things like were her and Autumn getting married.

She waved at the fish as she walked by them, before going into Autumn’s bedroom and shutting the door behind her.

Even though they’d only just moved, she was wholly unsurprised that Autumn’s entire bedroom was already put together and fastidiously organized.

Taking a deep breath, bracing herself as much as she could for whatever onslaught was awaiting her when Autumn joined her in here, she toed off her shoes, then took off her socks, and pulled off her sweater.

And because it was Autumn’s birthday sex, she smiled softly to herself and folded her sweater neatly, before placing it on the dresser. She did the same with her bra, even taking the time to fold that.

Her hands were on the waist of her jeans, just about to unsnap them, when the door opened.

For a second, she froze, vividly thinking about how there were now two teenagers around. How so very different this was than any time they’d done this in the past, even if only because of that fact. They weren’t alone with only a cat or fish for potential witnesses.

Autumn then stood in the doorway, her lips tugging into a frown. And she didn’t move, her hand on the doorknob.

Maya also paused, staring back at Autumn as an edge of uncertainty licked at her. “What is it?” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Are they awake?”

“No,” Autumn replied, primly. “They’re sleeping.”

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

There it was. That fucking tone.

The one Autumn only got like this. Only during the literal act of sex. Even in the moments after, it would disappear.

Maya’s body had already been pulsing with heat from that kiss, but the fucking second she heard that tone, she was soaked. Autumn had managed to program her body to respond in only a few words – even if the words weren’t even inherently sexual – to that tone.

Her throat was dry, and she had to clear it twice before managing, “So, why–”

“I told you to wait in my bedroom,” Autumn cut her off, the color rising high in her cheeks as she stepped into her bedroom and slowly closed the door behind her. “I didn’t tell you to take off all of your clothes, Maya.”

Would anyone else ever be able to do this to her?

Would anyone else in the literal entire world have this complete hold over her?

She slowly dropped her hands from where she was still lightly holding onto the waist of her jeans. “I guess you didn’t,” she mildly agreed.

Autumn’s crystal blue eyes were blazing as she walked closer to her, reaching out with both hands and sliding her fingertips into the top of Maya’s jeans. The backs of her fingers brushed against Maya’s hips and she shuddered.

“Everything else is for me to do,” Autumn murmured, and her gaze was first fixed to Maya’s, waiting for her to nod in agreement.

When she did, she watched Autumn watch her. Watched as Autumn slid her gaze down slowly, inch by inch, down Maya’s body.

They both watched as Autumn’s eyes finally landed on her own hands, and she used her fingers to flick open the button on her jeans.

Then Autumn lifted her eyes back to Maya’s and slid the zipper down, the sound only eclipsed by how raggedly Maya was already breathing.

No, that was a lie.

How raggedly they were both already breathing.

She nearly stumbled when Autumn took a firm grasp of the waist of her jeans and yanked them down. “Off,” she ordered. “Right now.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to do it myself,” she couldn’t help but tease, even though she did exactly what Autumn told her to do, bending down to shimmy her jeans the rest of the way off.

She’d barely lifted her leg out of them when Autumn reached out and gripped her hips tightly, walking her swiftly backward until Maya hit her mattress and fell back onto it.

“You have a lot of commentary for someone that robbed me of the experience of undressing you myself tonight,” Autumn stated, all haughty and fucking hot.

Maya pushed herself up onto her elbows as she shimmied farther up the bed. “I mean, I could put my shirt back on if it means that much to you.”

Autumn gave her a withering look, as she climbed onto the bed on her knees. “Don’t even joke about that. Not – not right now. Not tonight.”

There was a hint of desperation, of something more, under her words. Not wanting Maya to joke about putting her clothes back on, about potentially reversing what they were doing right now.

She was close to telling Autumn that she understood, that she too had been wanting for this so badly for the last month, even though she was the one that had drawn this boundary.

But then all of the words fell away and her mind went blissfully blank as Autumn tugged her shirt off. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and her nipples were so hard, and then she reached back and tugged her braid over her shoulder.

Then she pulled out the elastic holding that braid together, and all of her beautiful, soft hair was released, falling over one of her shoulders. The way it covered one of her breasts truly made her look like she was posing for a professional photographer.

Suddenly, acutely, Maya would do anything to have this image of Autumn saved. Would do anything to have a picture of her like this, exactly like this.

Shirtless, her hair down, her arousal clear in the look in her eyes as she looked at Maya.

It had taken time for them to get here. For Autumn to be willing to bare herself, to take down her hair, to be so open in front of Maya, especially without her needing to ask.

“You’re so beautiful, Autumn,” she murmured, some of this demanding heat inside of her softening, beyond her control.

But she needed Autumn to know that, she really did. That she had nothing to hide from.

She could hear Autumn’s soft, sharp inhale, before she released a ragged breath.

And then Autumn shook her head and crawled up Maya’s body, crashing her lips down to Maya’s without another word.

This kiss was a little less demanding than the one in the doorway, but no less intense.

Maybe even more intense this time. It wasn’t as wild, as filled with abandon, but Autumn was so thorough.

One of her hands cupped Maya’s jaw, holding her in place, as her tongue deftly explored Maya’s mouth. Sliding against her own, then tracing the tip of her tongue over the seam of Maya’s lips in a move that made her arch sharply up against Autumn.

She moved down Maya’s body, kissing and sucking and licking as she went but never stopping. Making sure to touch Maya’s neck and her chest, before she paused on Maya’s breasts.

Her hand slid from Maya’s jaw to her other breast, working her fingers over Maya’s nipple with just the right amount of roughness to make Maya feel like she was going out of her damn mind. And then she lapped her tongue over Maya’s other nipple, teasing the very tip with the tip of her tongue, and she cried out, her hips rocking up.

“Shh,” Autumn ordered, quickly lifting her head, arching a sharp look down at her. “You have to be quiet.”

Maya brought her hands up, digging them into her own hair and clutching tightly, as if it would make herself feel more in control. “Fuck. Right.”

They weren’t alone.

“I’m not going to lose this,” Autumn muttered more to herself than Maya, she thought, as she wrapped her lips around Maya’s nipple, teasing with her teeth. Scraping against her, making Maya’s whole body shudder.

Yeah, if they got interrupted by the twins right now, Maya might actually go crazy.

Autumn traced her hand down Maya’s stomach, hooking her fingers into her underwear and tugging it down. Maya lifted her hips, wordlessly assisting Autumn in ridding her of the final scrap of fabric on her body. She had no idea where Autumn flung her underwear – she barely registered that Autumn just tossed her underwear somewhere over her shoulder, like she couldn’t be bothered by it.

She gasped, rolling her hips down sharply, when Autumn pressed her fingers over her slit. Not curling them, not pressing inside of her.

Just covering her, as if marking Maya with some sort of ownership. That was – irrationally – what it felt like, anyway, to Maya’s aroused mind. No, she wasn’t thinking clearly, and no, right now, she didn’t fucking care.

She brought one of her hands down, carding through Autumn’s hair, as Autumn let her nipple slip from her lips and looked up at her.

“Do you want me inside of you?”

She bit her lip so hard she might draw blood with the force of keeping herself quiet, and nodded vehemently.

Autumn slowly – so fucking slowly – traced her fingertips up Maya’s pussy, until she flicked them over her hard, aching clit.

“Ah, god, Autumn,” the words fell from her, unable to be held back as her hips jerked against Autumn’s touch.

“Tell me,” Autumn demanded, working her fingers over Maya’s clit faster, harder. Knowing she was fucking killing Maya, but not stopping.

Her thigh was trembling and she blinked her bleary eyes open to meet Autumn’s dark, demanding stare.

She could come like this. After a month of Autumn not touching her, yeah, she could come this quickly from the way Autumn was rubbing her clit like it was her sole mission in life to force Maya into an orgasm.

But – but she wasn’t ready just yet.

She needed to feel Autumn inside of her.

Then Autumn eased off, spreading her fingers and sliding two of them on either side of Maya’s clit. Keeping her stimulated, keeping her right there, but allowing her to fucking breathe.

“Tell me you want me inside of you,” Autumn ordered again, breathing a little faster, harder.

“I do. I want you inside of me. I – fuck – I need it.” Right now, Maya would tell Autumn whatever she needed to hear. Whatever she wanted to hear.

And it just so happened to be the truth.

Autumn thrust inside of her, and Maya’s eyes clamped shut – or were they rolling back in her head? She didn’t really know. All she was aware of was that Autumn was filling her again. Fucking her again.

She was definitely using more than two fingers, because Maya felt the slight stretch, and she welcomed it. Jesus christ, she welcomed it. She wanted everything Autumn would give her right now. Every single thing.

“Please. Fuck me. Autumn–”

Her words cut off on a long, guttural moan.

Apparently, she hadn’t even needed to beg, because Autumn was already moving.

Pulling her fingers nearly all the way out, before thrusting back in completely. Her pace was demanding, unyielding, working Maya over until she was breathless with it. All she could do was try to keep up.

She felt swarmed by sensations.

The sensation of Autumn inside of her, the way her palm tapped so firmly against Maya’s clit when Autumn seated herself deep inside with every thrust. The sensation of Autumn’s mouth on her neck, working some sort of magic on her that had Maya alternatively chanting nonsense and groaning and then slapping her own hand over her mouth.

“This doesn’t go away,” Autumn breathed against her neck, her fingers never ceasing, never even fucking slowing.

And then she thrust inside again, curling them deep inside of her and – this – god – Maya felt it all over. She shuddered, the feeling starting from her core – starting from Autumn’s very fingers – until she felt like her whole world was quaking.

Especially when Autumn didn’t move her fingers again. She held there, inside of Maya, flexing her fingers in the same rhythm she’d been using to fuck her. Her hand provided a constant pressure against her clit, and Maya could hardly even make herself breathe.

Maya’s vision was hazy as she blinked her eyes open. Somehow, she managed to focus on Autumn, who was staring at her with an intensity that made Maya clench even tighter around her fingers.

Jesus. Fuck. God, she felt like Autumn had branded her from the inside out, what the fuck.

Slowly, Autumn slid her fingers almost all the way out. But she stared at Maya the entire time, her gaze unwavering.

“It’s been a month, and it won’t go away. How badly I crave you like this never goes away.” And then Autumn pressed back inside of her, fucking her harder, faster.

Like she was vexed by how much she wanted Maya, like she couldn’t fathom it, and she was taking all of those emotions out on her body.

And everything inside of Maya soared, higher and higher. It was nearly impossible to stay quiet, something she’d never had to do like this. Even when they’d had sex in the closet at work that time, it had been different. It hadn’t been like this.

But she was also hurtling toward an orgasm, one that already had her thighs trembling and her toes curling, and the desperate sounds that tore from the back of her throat was unstoppable.

“I – I – Autumn, I–” Was she shouting? She wasn’t sure if she was. She was trying to keep her voice down, but she could hardly hear herself over the way her heart was racing in her ears.

Autumn stilled, bringing her mouth down to Maya’s ear. Literally, her lips tracing over the shell of Maya’s ear in the most tantalizing way. In the way that made Maya’s pussy pulse around her fingers, and, fuck, she really was seconds away from coming. “You’re going to come?”

She nodded, quickly, desperately. “Mm – uh huh. I – ah, I’m going to come.”

And then Autumn’s fingers slid out of her and Maya was empty.

She blinked her eyes open, a baffled, upset cry exiting her mouth before she could help it. “No,” she gasped out, shaking her head vehemently against the pillow. “Autumn, no, please.”

She had no idea what she was even saying. She sure as hell didn’t feel coherent.

But she hadn’t really had an orgasm in a month. Even when she’d touched herself, it wasn’t – it was never right. The second her brain conjured thoughts of Autumn, she made herself stop. Because it would just be torturous, getting off to thoughts of Autumn, while everything was so complicated between them.

And when she managed not to think about Autumn, any orgasm she achieved felt so disappointing. Like it was barely even a sense of relief.

Her body needed this. As much as her mind and heart had forced herself away from Autumn for the last month, her body had been begging for this.

And now Autumn was no longer inside of her, and why? Why?

Autumn wasn’t even fucking her anymore, and she couldn’t catch her breath, staring up at her.

The color was high in Autumn’s cheeks, her own breathing labored, her eyes laser-focused. “Turn around,” she ordered. “Get on your hands and knees in front of me.”

Thank fuck Autumn wasn’t inside of her when she’d said that, because a breathless gasp escaped Maya with the intensity that she felt those words.

She quickly did as she was told, even though her arms shook slightly.

As soon as she was in place, Autumn slid back inside of her, filling her up.

Fucking her harder this time, even deep with this angle, and she could feel the way Autumn was using her hips behind her hand.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Maya’s mouth was open, her eyes closed, and she clenched her hands into tight fists in the sheets, driven higher and higher.

When she was close to coming again, Autumn stopped.

Maya couldn’t physically help herself from collapsing right down onto the bed. “Autumn, please. Please, fuck, please.”

What level of begging was this? Maya truly didn’t know. She didn’t really know anything, anymore, other than her own name, and the fact that in this very moment, her body existed as some sort of extension of Autumn’s.

Autumn didn’t order her this time.

She simply reached down and pushed at Maya’s shoulder, her touch impatient and Maya eagerly went along with it, rolling onto her back. Whatever Autumn wanted. Whatever would allow her to allow Maya to come.

“Autumn–”

She had to reach up and press her hand over her mouth tightly to stop the scream from echoing through the room.

Because Autumn wasted no time in shoving Maya’s legs apart and latching her lips around Maya’s clit, lashing her tongue over her.

One of Maya’s hands tunneled into Autumn’s hair, the other gripping at the blanket underneath her so hard she was worried she might tear through it.

“Oh. God. Oh. God,” she panted out, rolling her hips down against Autumn’s face, chasing the orgasm that had been stopped and taken away from her multiple times now.

Autumn hummed against her, the sound vibrating through Maya’s very being, and she almost blacked the fuck out.

But she couldn’t.

She had to hold on, until she came. She needed to come. She needed this.

“I’m – oh,” she bit off the cry that escaped her when she felt Autumn reach up and slide two of her fingers inside of her. “Com-coming. Gonna fucking come.”

Autumn pressed against her even more intently, moving her tongue over her clit faster, fucking her harder, and – yes. Yes.

Maya’s mouth fell open on a soundless shout as the orgasm echoed through her body.

Autumn’s lips and tongue worked over her, not ceasing as the waves of pleasure washed through her body. Was this – god – was this just one orgasm?

It couldn’t be.

Maya had no choice but to do her best to hold on and be taken through the onslaught of pleasure. Her foot was cramping and she could hear anything over the blood rushing through her ears, and everything in her entire world was centered around Autumn between her legs.

She felt like she’d run a marathon by the time she melted onto the mattress, needing several minutes to just… be. She needed time to come back to herself.

And when she did, she opened her eyes and looked at Autumn, whose gaze was trained on her, intently.

“Are you okay?” Autumn asked, her voice low, searching.

Maya nodded. “More than,” she clarified, hoarsely.

“Good.” With that, Autumn straddled her, bracing her hands on Maya’s shoulders.

She could feel Autumn dripping down against her, and her groan mixed with Autumn’s whimper.

When had Autumn taken off those pajama shorts she’d been wearing? Maya had no clue, but she really wasn’t aware of anything else right now. She didn’t know what time it was. She didn’t know how long Autumn had fucked her. She didn’t know how long she’d taken to come back to her right mind after coming so hard.

What she did know was that her stomach was wet from Autumn, and feeling her like this – so aroused and so desperate for Maya – revitalized her. Gave her enough strength to sit up, wrapping an arm around Autumn’s back to keep her steady and keep her right against Maya.

She wanted to feel their bodies against one another. Actually, she needed it.

Despite coming so hard, all of her nerve-endings completely sang when she felt Autumn’s hard nipples brushing against her own.

Autumn dug her fingers into Maya’s shoulders as she brought her other hand down, working it between them, so she could press her fingers against Autumn.

They both moaned at the contact.

She was covered in an instant, and Autumn’s hips jerked against her, her lips opening and releasing a sharp exhale.

She swept her fingers over Autumn’s clit, watching intently at every expression on Autumn’s face.

Watching as Autumn blinked her eyes open, focusing on Maya’s. Watching the way she opened her mouth to say something, but no words came.

“Gentle. I know. I know,” she whispered, stroking her fingertips over Autumn, feeling the way her clit was throbbing.

“No – I,” Autumn dug her teeth into her bottom lip, slowing the way she was rocking her hips down into Maya’s. She could feel the way Autumn’s chest expanded on the deep breath she took. “Well, yes. But… I want…”

Maya also slowed her touch, pausing completely against Autumn. “What do you want?”

“Inside,” Autumn breathed out, her warm breath washing over Maya’s lips.

Surprise shot through her, her eyebrows furrowing together. “Inside?” She echoed, searching Autumn’s expression. “Are you sure?”

She felt the sharp bite of Autumn’s short fingernails against her, feeling incredibly attuned to everything about Autumn right now. Like all of her senses were heightened, zeroed in.

Autumn nodded, her gaze boring into Maya’s. “Yes,” she breathed out, firmly. “I’m sure.”

Maya – she didn’t know quite how she felt. She knew this wasn’t something Autumn would ask for from anyone else. She didn’t know the last time Autumn had wanted something like this.

There was a large weight on her shoulders and an immense sense of… responsibility? Awareness? Coupled with a blast of sheer emotion, that was all totally overwhelming.

She was holding her breath as she traced a single finger down through Autumn’s wetness. She was already soaked, and she would only use one finger, but…

But she was terrified of doing something wrong, something Autumn wouldn’t actually want.

Tracing her finger around Autumn’s opening, she kept her eyes locked onto Autumn’s.

And Autumn was locked right back in on her.

She both felt and heard Autumn’s breath hitch as she gently pressed her finger against Autumn’s opening.

She entered inside of Autumn easily, but moved as slowly as possible. Centimeter by centimeter. Until she was all the way inside.

She could feel the trembling in Autumn’s arms as she slid them around Maya’s shoulders, holding her close.

“Are you okay?” She asked, her heart skipping a beat in her chest. Holding completely still.

She could feel Autumn’s heart hammering in her chest, could feel the stilted way she was breathing.

“Yes,” Autumn’s voice was barely a whisper. “I’m… I want you to move. Just – slowly. Gently.”

“I know,” she assured her, stroking her hand up and down Autumn’s spine.

She tilted her head back enough to be able to stare completely at Autumn’s face, as she started to move. Very gently, very slowly, working in and out, the best she could with this angle.

After a minute, Autumn’s eyes fluttered closed, and she started rocking her hips down against Maya, controlling the speed and the rhythm.

Soft sounds fell from her perfect lips, ringing through Maya’s ears, and she felt like she was in some sort of trance.

All she could do was stare, mesmerized by Autumn. Mesmerized by the feeling of her clenching around her finger, by being inside of Autumn like this for the first time.

“Maya,” Autumn breathed out, blinking her eyes open.

Her heavily lidded, stormy blue gaze locked onto Maya’s, as she felt Autumn clenching around her.

“You feel so good,” she murmured, tracing her hand back down Autumn’s spine. Using the kind of soft touch Autumn loved.

“You – feel – good,” Autumn groaned out, moving slightly faster.

She felt Autumn’s nails dig into her so hard, she was absolutely going to have marks, and she relished in it. Just as much as she reveled in the way Autumn pressed herself down on her, keeping Maya deep inside, as she leaned back just enough to slide her own hand between them.

Autumn worked her own hand over her clit quickly, desperately, her eyes barely open, but they were. They were open, staring at Maya, as she came.

“Maya,” Autumn chanted in that way she had, the way that stayed in Maya’s ears for hours after they’d had sex.

And for the first time, she could feel Autumn come, could feel the way her walls clenched around her.

“God,” she breathed, utterly transfixed.

As soon as Autumn’s orgasm faded, she seemed to completely melt into Maya. Leaning heavily against her, and Maya could feel the way her breathing regulated back to normal.

She closed her eyes, imprinting this in her mind, as she very gently slid out of Autumn.

“Are you okay?” She whispered.

But, god, she felt like she’d gone on that entire journey with Autumn. Like she’d been through not only her earth-shattering orgasm, but Autumn’s as well.

For several long beats, Autumn didn’t respond. Didn’t move, didn’t say anything.

A stab of panic shot through Maya. “Autumn?”

She felt the deep, tremulous inhale Autumn took. “Yes. Sorry. Yes. I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” Maya whispered, rubbing her hand over the small of Autumn’s back.

Autumn stayed right here, leaning heavily into her with her arms wrapped around Maya, for another few seconds.

Then she leaned back, offering Maya a nod. “I’m sure.”

She looked at Maya, eyes searching, seeming to hesitate. And Maya stared right back, wanting to know what was on her mind.

Should she ask? She wanted to know. She wanted to know everything about Autumn. She always had, and that had never changed.

In fact, if anything, it was even more intense now. Now that she knew everything she knew about Autumn’s past, she just wanted to know more.

She wanted Autumn to tell her, freely. She wanted Autumn to share it with her, she way she did when she was drunk, or when the twins were with her.

She wanted to lay down in this bed with Autumn and have Autumn talk to her. Even if it wasn’t about her past, just talk. About something real, not just the inane conversation Maya was so good at.

But Autumn didn’t say anything. She looked like she might, but she didn’t. She also didn’t shift away from Maya’s lap, either. Almost like she was worried to? The way her arms were still holding around Maya’s shoulders felt that way. Reluctant to move.

This was what was so difficult, wasn’t it? Because she didn’t want Autumn to move, either. And she did feel moved, touched, deeply, by Autumn. She felt connected to her.

Her gaze caught on the clock on the opposite wall.

12:01.

“Hey,” she flattened her hand against Autumn’s back. “Happy birthday.”

“It’s already the best one I’ve had,” Autumn murmured.

Maya’s breath caught in her chest, her stomach flip-flopping.

It really was too late for her.

Maybe last month when she’d cut things off, she’d had a chance.

But there was no real chance for her anymore; she was entirely in love with Autumn. Possibly the most guarded person on the planet, who was currently in the throes of one of the most complicated situations a person could be thrown into.

And Maya was… so in love with her.

“Obviously, you can’t stay. With the twins being here,” Autumn elaborated, her voice a little rough with emotion.

“Right,” she muttered, feeling like she’d been struck dumb with this emotion lacing through her veins.

But… Autumn was still right here in her lap. Was she supposed to get up and leave right now? Again, how did this feel more complicated now than it did when they’d started this?

Autumn landed a hand on her jaw. “You don’t have to leave quite yet, though.”

Maya easily allowed Autumn to tilt her head, sighing into the kiss. No, she didn’t have to leave quite yet. She didn’t have to attempt to deal with all of this quite yet.

Right now, the clock had officially struck Autumn’s birthday.

And Maya was determined to continue giving her the best one possible.

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