Is This Real Life - Gianna PoV (the first time) (Patreon)

It worked out perfectly that Caroline and Hannah have ultimately won the poll, didn't it? So we can have a little variety...

Is This Real Life?

There were very few people who could shake Gianna to the core.

She was able to be real with herself enough to know that she didn’t have the firmest sense of self. Especially because she was around Riley all of the time, and Riley did have a very firm sense of self, so she knew what it looked like.

In college, she’d had very little by way of that self-directed focus and understanding. It hadn’t taken much to make her doubtful.

But she’d come a long way, and nowadays, there were very few people who could make her really question herself.

Riley was at the top of the list.

Not only because how Riley treated her meant more than anything or anyone else, but because if something was wrong between her and Riley, it made Gianna’s entire world feel off-balance.

She and Riley hadn’t had any real, actual issues in over a decade at this point. Once they’d become a team, they’d stayed that way.

And now…

Now, Gianna needed answers, and she needed them now. She’d let this weirdness that had started taking root go long enough, and she fucking refused to do it anymore.

She angled her chin up, her arms folded over her chest, as she barely refused the urge to tap her foot while she waited for Riley to answer the door to her apartment. Gianna huffed out an agitated breath, eyeing the doorknob.

She’d bet money the lock on it wasn’t even properly fixed; Riley’s super was never timely with those kinds of repairs, and she knew how busy Riley had been with work. Gianna would typically say she knew that lock wasn’t fixed, because Riley hadn’t mentioned it to her.

But Gianna wouldn’t really know that right now, would she? Because Riley was being weird for the last few weeks, so maybe she had gotten it fixed and not told her!

She doubted it, but still.

The fact that it could be true shook her to the core.

Riley opened the door. “Hey. What are you doing here?”

Gianna lifted her eyebrows, eyeing her best friend up and down. What was she doing here?! Really? When had Riley ever – EVER – asked her what are you doing here instead of just letting her in. Instead of a normal greeting. What was that about?

“Am I not welcome here?” Gianna couldn’t contain the words that burned from the very core of her being.

Because that was almost what it felt like. Not quite; she didn’t feel as though Riley was mad at her, but she was damn sure Riley was trying not to spend time with her.

Riley’s eyes widened slightly, and she didn’t hesitate to take a big step backwards, making space for Gianna to enter. Which did serve to calm some of her frazzled nerves. At least Riley wasn’t going to push her away right now, when she could obviously see that Gianna was upset.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Riley’s voice was softer and far more normal now. “You know you can always come here.”

Gianna relaxed the tiniest bit with that. There was still a normalcy here, something foundational, even right now. She walked by Riley, aiming a teasing smile at her. “I did find the place for you, after all.”

Ellie had finished undergrad a year earlier than she and Riley, which ended up meaning that it made more financial sense for their mother to rent them an apartment for Riley’s senior year. Which meant she and Riley couldn’t live together again.

Riley had confessed to her, after a tipsy night out, that she wished they could stay together, still. That she, obviously, loved Ellie, but Ellie-getting-a-doctorate was not going to make for the most fun, sociable roommate senior year. That she would miss living with Gianna, miss the perfected routines they’d developed, the easy closeness, the shared schedules.

Gianna had felt those words echo deep in her soul. She hadn’t wanted to not live with Riley… ever.

Hell, she was trying to get Riley to move in with her now! Because, frankly, it just made sense, now that Ellie wasn’t living here anymore and the building was going downhill with new management – anyway.

She’d decided it was probably good for her, though. After all, Riley and Ashton were getting serious, so she was spending nights at his place a couple of times a week, anyway. And Gianna in college hadn’t gone through all of her emotional growth. She’d still experienced the longing back then.

She didn’t long for and yearn for Riley, romantically, now. She just… loved her. Instead of feeling like her being in love with Riley moved against the grain of her being, it had shifted now – in their early twenties – into merely being. Now, it moved with her.

So, Gianna had bit the bullet back then, and done what had been best for both of them, and schmoozed her way into this building, even before Riley and Ellie went apartment hunting themselves.

This apartment that she’d spent so much time in before she’d bought her house; probably more time than she’d spent in her own place. This apartment where she and Riley had laughed and cried and redecorated and cooked – well, Riley cooked – and thrown parties. This apartment they’d gone through life together in, for over nine years.

Taking comfort in this space, that it felt like hers as well as Riley’s, she murmured, “Come straight to the source.” With that, she turned around, staring down at Riley expectantly. “It’s a life lesson from Riley Jane Beckett herself. When you’re confused or when you need answers, you go right to the source. So, that’s what I’m doing here.”

She narrowed her eyes, studying Riley’s face. Because she didn’t respond, didn’t say anything for a few seconds.

That right there? Weird. If nothing was wrong, Riley already would have said so.

“You’ve been acting so… so weird.” She wished she had a better way to phrase it, wished there was a better word that fit how Riley had been acting around her. It was weird, but that didn’t feel like a powerful enough way to say it.

And still, Riley didn’t say anything. She stared up at Gianna with wide eyes, her cheeks getting pink.

Like – what? Who was this Riley? Since when could Riley not simply tell Gianna what was on her damn mind? That had never once been a problem for them. Never.

“I mean, bringing Joal with you today?” She scoffed. “Whatever, it was fine; Joel can hang out with us, obviously.” She huffed out a breath when she heard herself. Because when said aloud like that – no, it didn’t sound like Riley’s behavior was strange. Joel was their friend, and he did hang out with them, and he did enjoy being at the shoot.

But she knew she was right. She knew it, and they were going to resolve whatever it was now.

“It’s like you’ve been trying to pull away from me?” God, she could hear the seed of insecurity in her voice, making its way up from the depths of her soul. “Which seems insane, and I’ve been trying to tell myself that you would never do that. That you’ve never done that.”

It was the most terrifying thing in the world to her. That Riley would, for any reason, pull away from her. That Riley wouldn’t be her rock. And it felt unfathomable, because Riley had never once given Gianna any reason to doubt how solid she was. How solid they were. When Gianna called, Riley answered.

Even when Gianna didn’t call, like when her parents popped up, Riley was there, because Riley knew her. She knew what Gianna needed, even – sometimes – when Gianna didn’t.

The very thought of that going away was… it wasn’t something Gianna could possibly make herself okay with.

So, she pushed. She was going to push until Riley hit whatever breaking point she needed to hit, so they could clear this up.

“And yet, it keeps happening. Bringing Joel along today. You cut our laundry night on Friday short; you barely finished folding your clothes before you practically ran out. Like, what was that? You didn’t sit next to me when we watched The One last week. You sat on the other couch! Like I had cooties or something? You made me feel like I should have been wearing a mask.”

She attempted for a lighter, teasing tone, but she knew she didn’t hit it. Because she couldn’t. If she was talking to anyone else, sure. But not Riley, not right now.

Right now, she was fueled by pure passion. She was upset and she was uncertain and she didn’t understand, and she just wanted to know why.

No, she needed to know.

And when Riley’s breathing grew a little faster and the color rose in her cheeks, and her hazel eyes were wide, but she didn’t say anything, another thread inside of her snapped.

“Are you going to pretend I’m making all of this up in my head? Because if there’s one thing you aren’t, Riley, it’s a liar.”

Riley was so many things, but never once a liar. Even when they’d still been teenagers, and she’d given Gianna the most difficult feedback she’d ever received, it had always been brutal honesty.

“I think it’s the right amount of weird,” Riley finally spoke, and her words were quiet and raspy, and… entirely nonsensical.

“What?” Some of her agitation faded from sheer confusion.

Riley swallowed visibly heavily. “I haven’t been trying to pull away, Gianna. Not really.”

There it was. Even if not the explanation just yet, the tone she’d needed to hear. This was Riley being honest, she could tell. She could hear that Riley meant it when she said she wasn’t trying to pull away from her, and it gave Gianna the slightest hit of relief.

Even so, she lifted her hands, gesturing around in confusion. She wasn’t above begging – specifically begging Riley – for answers. “Then, what–”

“I think I’m being the right amount of weird for someone who nearly had sex with their best friend a few weeks ago,” Riley cut in, her voice tight and clearly distressed.

For several moments, Gianna could only stare.

Really?!

Really?

It – it was one kiss!

Was it seared into Gianna’s mind, permanently tattooed as a reminder that every fantasy she’d ever had about kissing Riley wasn’t even close to how good it actually felt? Yes. Had she thought about it often, and continued to touch herself to the very memory of how Riley’s body had felt against hers? Of course.

But it didn’t make Gianna second-guess literally anything between them. If she could file it away and move back into reality, why couldn’t Riley?

“Is that what this is all about?” She pressed, shaking her head. “It was just a kiss! It – it wasn’t a big deal. We laughed about it, after.”

Admittedly, they’d laughed because of the series of messed up moments that had brought them to that moment. The kiss itself hadn’t been funny. It had been the most serious, brain-chemistry-altering kiss she’d ever had. Likely ever would have.

And still, it was a kiss. A kiss shared between her and Riley, in the scope of their entire relationship and everything they’d been through, everything they were to one another… a kiss couldn’t possibly be bigger than that.

Apparently, though, Riley didn’t feel the same way.

Gianna could tell even before Riley said anything, because that little crease appeared between her eyebrows, and her lips tugged into a frown.

“I didn’t realize it in the moment, Gianna, but it was a big deal. To me.”

And with that, with Riley’s confession, Gianna’s entire world stopped spinning.

Her breath caught and held in her lungs and there was a ringing in her ears and she felt dizzy and all she could do was stare at Riley.

Did she mean…

Had Riley been thinking about the kiss in the way Gianna did?

At first, she’d thought Riley was saying that the kiss had made things feel weird. Like their friendship wasn’t strong enough to overcome it.

But with the hoarseness in Riley’s tone just then, and the way she was breathing heavily, and the inflection on the way she’d said to me…

It – it made Gianna think – maybe –

Riley laughed, sounding shocked and a little wild, and ridiculously attractive. “Yeah, believe me, I was surprised, too. But I can’t stop thinking about what almost happened that night. And I’m trying not to let it change anything, but it’s hard.”

Riley was trying not to let it change anything but it was hard?

What. Did. It. MEAN.

Gianna tried to ask. She tried to clarify. Literally, opened her mouth to ask, then couldn’t get the words out. Because her mind was racing too fast to keep up with verbalizing any of her thoughts.

But she needed more. She needed –

“Hard… in what way?” She finally managed, inhaling heavily when the words left her mouth, as though she’d finished running a marathon.

She didn’t look away from Riley for even a second, couldn’t possibly. There was nothing and no one else on the planet in this moment.

Riley stared back at her, eyebrows furrowing slightly as if she couldn’t comprehend what Gianna didn’t get. “You’re really going to make me say it?”

Gianna walked a step closer to Riley, moving into her orbit as if being pulled forward by gravity itself. Riley was the sun, and Gianna revolved around her.

“Yes,” she rasped out. “I want to know exactly what you’re feeling, because–” Her breath caught in her throat, making her break off for a second. “You’re making me think… and I want to make sure I’m not misinterpreting?”

Because… because if it was what she was starting to think, then everything was different.

Gianna had been able to put the kiss in the back of her mind. It had been a shining moment, a memory she would always have ingrained into her both physically and mentally. But it didn’t change anything about how she felt about Riley, how she behaved around her. Gianna’s attraction to Riley hadn’t changed at all with the kiss; it was the same as it had been for over a decade.

But – but if Riley was different now because she was attracted to Gianna –

Fuck. Just thinking about it in those words made Gianna’s hands tremble. Could that be real? It explained everything. Explained why Riley was keeping her at arm’s length, while she grappled with this. Because Riley realizing she was attracted to Gianna was brand new for her. Gianna understood how that was doing a number on her, especially because Riley was so doggedly honest.

Riley holding back this sort of attraction would affect her in a big way.

Just –

Gianna pressed her hands tightly to her thighs, holding herself shock-still as she forced in a deep breath.

She couldn’t make an assumption about this. She needed to hear Riley spell this out for her in clear, plain language. Because this was – this was something that could re-write Gianna’s chemical makeup.

“All right,” Riley huffed out, and it was so damn cute. “If what you interpreted was that I’m attracted to you, then you’re right.”

Oh.

Holy.

Fuck.

Gianna’s breath escaped her in a shaky exhale, her heart skipping a beat. Riley was attracted to her. She –

She, apparently, wasn’t done speaking. “As in, really attracted to you. As in, it wasn’t just a thing that night. As in, it’s all of the time.”

Riley reached up, dragging a hand through her thick hair, breathing out a wild laugh. One that echoed the way Gianna’s heartbeat was erratically thudding in her chest.

“If you interpreted that I can’t stop thinking about the way your lips felt on mine or the way your body felt against me, then you’re right. If you interpreted that every time we’re together, now, I think about having you in that way, you’re right.” By the time Riley stopped, her breathing was fast and heavy, her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were bright, and Gianna…

She wondered, for a split-second, if she was dying. Because she felt like every synapse in her mind was flashing brightly. Wasn’t that what Ellie said happened right before people died? Some sort of hyperactive burst?

Surely, this was a dream?

Only, it wasn’t.

Gianna knew it wasn’t, because she had dreamed about this very moment so many times, and she’d never confused the two. It was always very clear to her when she was dreaming.

And this was real life.

She was standing in Riley’s apartment. Riley was confessing attraction to her. And not – not even in a casual sort of way. Not even like she was saying “hey, I realized I’m attracted to women, and you’re attractive” but she was saying “Gianna, I’m attracted to you.”

In the most logical part of her mind, she knew that doing something with Riley might be stupid. In the most rational place inside of her, she knew there should be more to discuss.

But in the most emotional, steady part of Gianna, she didn’t care.

She wasn’t concerned that something could come between her and Riley. The only reason the kiss had changed things was because it had made Riley aware of an attraction to her, not because they didn’t know how to act around one another as people.

They were Riley-and-Gianna.

Sex wouldn’t change that.

Gianna… she was a master at having stringless sex. And Riley, while less versed, had a handful of very casual sexual partners in the past, as well.

And, at the end of the day, there was no logic that could override the hyperdrive her mind and body had clicked into.

Riley wanted her.

Riley thought about her, about her lips and her body, about the way their kiss had made her feel. And she wanted more. She wanted Gianna. She wanted her every time they were together.

If there was a human being on the fucking planet that could hold back when the person they’d loved and desired was looking at them the way Riley was looking at her right now, saying what Riley said…

That human didn’t exist.

She took another step closer to Riley, feeling that hunger start to burn through her. “You think about having me in what way?”

And – she knew.

She knew, now.

But knowing didn’t mean she didn’t want to hear it.

Gianna had spent so much of her life believing this would never happen. That it wouldn’t be a possibility. She wanted to hear Riley say every single syllable, so she could savor it and catalogue in her mind, to hold onto it forever.

“I think about you in the way that…” Riley paused and licked her lips, and Gianna watched the motion like a hawk.

She – fuck, she was already wet.

Just from hearing Riley profess to wanting her. Just from seeing the way Riley’s eyes had darkened with want. Because she wanted Gianna.

“I want you,” Riley murmured again, her voice low and raspy in a way Gianna had never heard before. She’d thought she’d heard Riley’s every tone of voice by now, but she hadn’t.

She felt her clit throb.

“Every time you touch me, I think about it. It’s like I’m cursed now in our everyday life because of that night. Because I know how you feel when you’re touching me. When you’re kissing me. And it feels… unfulfilled.”

Gianna’s breathing was thready and she was already clenching against the emptiness between her legs. They were fully clothed, hadn’t even kissed – hadn’t even touched at all – and Gianna was wetter than she normally was after fully naked foreplay.

“What feels unfulfilled?” She asked, swaying so close to Riley now. She was so close, when she took a breath, all she breathed in was Riley.

She barely managed to hold herself back from grabbing Riley and taking what she so desperately wanted. What, apparently, they both wanted.

When they’d hugged and when they’d sat close together, Riley had wanted her. It was all Gianna could think about, her mind flashing through the last couple of weeks.

“That we never… finished,” Riley muttered, staring up into her eyes. And that was Riley, wasn’t it? Even though she’d never felt this way for another woman, even though she’d certainly not felt this way before for Gianna, Riley was the admitting this. Riley was the one changing everything. “That I never got to actually touch you.”

God. Gianna’s eyes fluttered closed for a second, just a second. Her pussy tightened, and she was ready. At just the mere thought that Riley wanted to touch her.

“That you never really touched me. I wanted it.” Riley continued, in that same low tone, the one that Gianna felt vibrate through her very being. “I wanted to feel you, to know what it was like. I wanted exactly what the gift you gave me promised, when we were in bed together.”

Gianna felt every single heart beat. Her clit throbbed with it, she was lightheaded, and this was the best moment of her life.

“What, exactly, did the gift promise?” She asked softly, staring Riley down.

She knew. Of course, she knew.

But she still needed more from Riley. There was a piece inside of her that needed more, needed Riley to take this to the next level. Which felt almost ridiculous to her, because Gianna was the one that had wanted this for so damn long. Maybe, though, that was why.

There was still, however ridiculous, this part of Gianna that couldn’t quite believe her ears. She didn’t think she was dreaming, she believed Riley was telling the truth, but it all seemed too good to be true.

It almost felt wrong to Gianna, for her to initiate another kiss.

Because no matter what Riley was feeling right now, she had no damn clue about how Gianna felt. And, because of that, it didn’t feel quite okay for Gianna to be the one.

“Gianna,” Riley bit out, and there was obvious exasperation coloring her tone, and for some reason, it was the sexiest way anyone had ever said her name.

“I’m just curious,” she whispered back, standing so close to Riley, now.

So close but not close enough, and – would Riley do it? Would she? Could Gianna, if she didn’t?

Thankfully, Gianna didn’t have to wonder, because Riley did it. She made the first move, reaching out and grabbing Gianna’s waist, hauling her forward and closing the few inches between them.

Any thread of control, any doubt, any questions, any hesitation, any anything evaporated when she felt the certainty, the firmness, in Riley’s grip.

Riley’s hands were on her, holding her, and there was no question. She pulled Gianna against her body because she wanted Gianna against her.

Gianna’s hands lifted of their own volition, cupping Riley’s jaw and tilting her head up at the perfect angle for Gianna’s mouth to find hers as she ducked down.

She shuddered. Whole-body shuddered when she felt Riley’s soft lips on hers, then shuddered again, harder, when Riley groaned into her mouth.

How many times had she touched Riley’s face and jaw? How many times had she done something similar to this? She was so used to this gesture, but not to it leading to a kiss.

In her cropped sweater, Riley’s hands were on her uncovered waist. Especially because, after only a moment, Riley slid her hands down to fully touch her, mapping out Gianna’s skin with her fingertips.

Gianna whimpered, shivering against Riley as she pushed even closer.

Riley had touched her a million times. She’d felt Riley’s hands brush against her hips and her waist. They’d touched while Gianna was in bikinis or revealing clothing, but it had always been friendly. Riley’s touch had never been so deliberate, before.

That was precisely what Riley was doing now. Touching Gianna on purpose, gliding her hands over Gianna’s stomach and hips and to her back, like she couldn’t get enough of her. She touched Gianna as though she was an explorer learning a new land.

Her skin felt like it was on fire everywhere Riley touched. She could feel the goosebumps on her body chasing Riley’s hands, and with every glide of Riley’s fingers against her body, Gianna kissed her harder.

She knew her kiss was more feverish than it normally would be. Because she normally didn’t feel like she was going to combust like this.

Gianna was a great kisser, she knew this about herself. Precise and controlled. But she wasn’t controlled right now.

Right now, she kept Riley firmly in place in front of her, unwilling to give up her lips. She couldn’t settle, couldn’t stop. She slid her tongue against Riley’s, she bit at Riley’s lips. She sucked and nipped and tasted and she couldn’t get enough.

And Riley – Riley met her beat for beat. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t slow down, didn’t question.

If anything, Riley urged her to continue.

She rocked her hips into Gianna’s, wanton and desperate, and Gianna moaned, arching her hips right back.

Fuck, she wanted to touch Riley.

She’d touched Riley’s body so many times, too, but she’d never gotten to do it like this. She’d never been able to relish in the feeling of Riley’s skin under her fingertips. Even during their massages or cuddles, even though Gianna knew she enjoyed those touches in a different way than Riley did, she never did anything untoward. Even if Riley didn’t know what she’d have been thinking about if she’d let her fingertips linger on the curve of her waist, Gianna would know. So she’d never gone there in her mind.

But she could, now.

Right?

She brought her hand between them, curling tightly into the neck of Riley’s sweater. Feeling Riley’s heart hammering under her hand, as she paused. Could she do this? Could they really do this?

Was this truly what Riley wanted?

Because if they went beyond what they were doing right now… Gianna just needed to be sure.

Then again, who the fuck was she kidding? If Riley told her anything right now, Gianna would be down. If Riley told her she just wanted to make out against the doorway for an hour or two or five, Gianna would agree. She’d come in her pants at some point, probably, and she would still agree.

If Riley told her she wanted them to strip and stare at one another and do some weird interpretive dance – sure. Whatever she wanted. Hell, Gianna might come from that, too.

Their kiss broke when Riley tilted her head back, arching up to look at the ceiling, and Gianna dropped her head down for a few seconds, trying to regain her breath. But she didn’t loosen her grip against Riley’s sweater. She held the soft material in her hand, her fingers shaking slightly.

“I really, really want to have sex with you,” Riley’s voice was sexy and throaty, and so honesty –

Gianna snapped her head up, fire lighting her up from the inside out.

There it was, then.

Whatever Riley wanted, Gianna already knew she’d give it to her.

And she wanted to have sex?!

Cloud Nine. This was not only living out a dream, it was living out the dream.

She felt her lips tremble open, wordlessly, unable to properly catch her breath. There was no way Riley could tell that Gianna was so turned on, she’d already soaked through her underwear, right?

The thought hit her like a train – was Riley this wet for her?

“That’s what the promise of the gift was. That I told you I just wanted to forgo dating and romance for now, and just have sex,” Riley clarified, her eyes staying firmly on Gianna’s.

God, she loved that. She loved that Riley was this way. That she simply came right out and told Gianna she wanted to have sex. That she was being so open about it, even though Gianna had to prompt her into it. But Riley had only felt this attraction to her for weeks, and she’d already taken a leap into full-blown honesty with Gianna.

She slowly nodded in understanding, trying to make sense of her life.

Did she have concerns about this? Should she?

At the end of the day, this wouldn’t change anything for her. Gianna knew that. If she had one opportunity to have sex with Riley Beckett, she wouldn’t squander it.

Riley wasn’t telling her that she was in love with her; Gianna didn’t know how she’d respond to that, if she did. This was probably the best case scenario, honestly.

If Riley wanted to know what it was like to have uncomplicated, non-dating, hot, needy, satisfying sex, then Gianna was the perfect person for her to have it with, wasn’t she?

No one would care more about giving Riley pleasure than she did. She would make this the best fucking sex of Riley’s life, and in doing so, Gianna already knew it would be the best sex of her own life.

She slid her arm down behind Riley’s back, hauling Riley’s body against hers. Keeping them pressed together, savoring it, as everything inside of her was at the ready to pounce.

She just – she just needed Riley’s confirmation before she devoured her whole.

“You want that? You want to forgo dating and romance and have sex,” she echoed back, before adding the most important detail: “With me.”

Gianna studied Riley’s face, the expressions she knew better than she knew her own. If there was a hint of uncertainty there, she would find whatever control she needed to hit the brakes. She was positive they’d be able to come back from a true sexual disaster, but she’d rather not go down that road at all.

But there was no doubt on Riley’s face. “I do. I trust you more than I trust anyone else.”

As Riley spoke, she slid her hands down Gianna’s back, settling them just over the waist of her jeans, her fingertips tucking slightly underneath. Gianna had to fight to keep her eyes open, her breath escaping in a rough exhale.

Her stomach clenched tightly, as she literally felt her clit twitch.

Riley’s touch would end her. She knew it would. And she was so ready for it. And, added to that, Riley trusted Gianna. She trusted her to show her into this new world of sex, into the world of being with a woman.

Was there anything headier than that on the planet?

“I trust you and I respect you and I like you and u love you,” Riley murmured, her tone confident and unwavering, and each affirmation made Gianna feel like she was glowing inside. “I know you feel the same way about me.”

She nodded without a second of hesitation. Yes. Always. Forever.

Riley’s lips twitched into a pleased smile. “I don’t want to date. You don’t want to date. I’ve been in your life long enough that I already know your whole speech by heart.”

Gianna had been ready to kiss Riley again, but that held her up just enough. “My speech?”

“Whatever variation you give to the person you’re sleeping with before you have sex,” Riley explained, her tone playful, and she slid her hand over to pinch lightly at Gianna’s hip.

She shuddered, jerking her hips into Riley, as her lips opened on a shuddering breath.

Riley’s expression was so fucking hot, the way she lifted her eyebrows and her lips curved into a cocky smile, as she started to recite. “The speech about how under no uncertain terms does having sex mean we’re dating and it might happen again, it might now, but even if it does, it means no strings and if this isn’t what you want, then I understand, but we can’t go any further and if you do develop feelings, then we need to cut off the sexual part of our relationship and I’m saying this because I don’t want anyone to get hurt and I just want us to be honest.”

As Riley rattled off accurate bits and pieces of Gianna’s salvo to her various sexual partners, she felt her stomach tie in unexpected nerves.

Mostly because Riley… she really had no idea.

She didn’t understand that none of that applied to her. She might understand that things were different because they were Riley and Gianna, she might understand that the boundaries when it came to her were different because of how much Gianna loved her.

But Riley had no damn clue the way Gianna loved her.

Gianna had to say these things to people she had sex with, because it happened more often than not that people ended up feeling… feelings for her. She had a lot of experience in letting people down gently – and sometimes, not-so-gently when they couldn’t accept the gentle route.

It was the best and simplest way to go about it: tell people exactly what they were getting into up-front. No, Gianna was never going to suddenly develop feelings. It didn’t matter if they had sex multiple times over the course of several months, even.

When people developed feelings for her and confessed them – or even when they didn’t, but it was always obvious – after she gave them her spiel, honestly, Gianna mostly was frustrated and annoyed.

She would never be frustrated and annoyed with Riley.

Because if Riley fell for her…

She didn’t even know how to process the idea. It made her knees shake and her stomach felt like it might bottom out, but irritation was the last thing she felt.

More than anything, Riley reciting this made her feel a little nervous. Because Gianna couldn’t look Riley in the eye and agree to the terms of her own speech.

The chuckle that she pushed out was riddled with those nerves. “That’s not what I say… verbatim, anyway.”

Riley laughed, and it was unguarded and beautiful and not laden with the same concerns that laced through Gianna. “Exactly. But my point is I already know the agreement, here. And I… I want it. So, unless you don’t, I can’t imagine any reason why we shouldn’t.”

She loved that Riley knew herself so well. She loved that Riley was able to say that to her so easily. She loved that she knew Riley was being entirely genuine; she could see it etched into her gorgeous face as she stared at Gianna, waiting for her response.

Gianna really, really tried to think this through, based on Riley echoing Gianna’s typical speech back to her. She tried to determine if it felt like she was lying or wronging Riley if she agreed, knowing that Riley unequivocally believed Gianna was just as casual to her as she’d been about everyone else she had sex with.

Uncertainty flickered on Riley’s expression as she blinked a few times, the eagerness in her face starting to dampen. “If you want some time to think about–”

No!

No. No fucking way was Gianna going to make Riley doubt this. No way was she going to give up this chance.

“I want it,” the words shot out from her lips, steady and confident, because Gianna was firm and confident in her desire for Riley. More than anything in the world. “I really want it.”

She barely had a second to witness the breath of relief Riley let out, before Gianna’s body made the decision for her.

She hauled Riley up, flexing the arm around her back to bring Riley to her tiptoes so Gianna could kiss her again. Even when her mind had been deliberating, her body had still been tingling right on the edge of readiness. While her brain had been trying to think over the logistics, every muscle and nerve that existed inside of her had been prepared for this.

Maybe Riley didn’t know the whole of Gianna’s feelings, but the truth was – that simply was their relationship. Riley had never known about Gianna being in love with her. Whether they had sex right now or not, that wouldn’t change.

And Gianna… she’d made peace long ago that this would never happen. That she’d never have sex with Riley, never kiss her, never get to luxuriate in her touch. That had been okay; she was more than fine with that. Her love for Riley was so much more than the physical; her physical needs could be met with many others.

But now that she had this chance, she couldn’t possibly not take it. Even when she’d been trying to be logical and reasonable, the decision had already been made for her. Her fate was sealed the moment Riley admitted her attraction.

Now –

Now, Gianna was done thinking.

Now, she was going to indulge in this.

She kissed Riley like her life depended on it, and somehow, she felt like it did. Like her very being was existing right here. Like she was fortified and sustained by Riley’s soft mouth and the way she stroked her hands up Gianna’s back.

Gianna held Riley so close against her, not allowing even an inch of space. Feeling Riley’s breasts push against her chest just under her own, relishing in the weight of Riley in her arms.

This was Riley.

The thought made her shiver, driving her to start walking forward. She needed the doorway or a wall or some other hard surface, because she refused to release Riley from her hold, but she fucking needed to get Riley’s clothing off.

As soon as Riley’s back hit the wall, though, Riley beat her to the punch.

She didn’t know why it surprised her that Riley took Gianna’s shirt off, first. Maybe it was because Riley hadn’t ever been with a woman, but… this was Riley. Once she set her sights on something, she was doing it.

Riley is stripping you out of your shirt!!!! Her brain was screaming at her, and the reality of it all made her blood rush even faster through her veins.

Gianna didn’t hesitate to tug Riley’s shirt off, because all she could think was – them, naked, together. Her body, her bare skin, on Riley’s.

She paused for just a moment, running her fingers over the sweater in her hands, absently noting, “Cashmere. Nice.”

And because Gianna was who she was, Riley wearing cashmere turned her on even more.

“I wasn’t going to show up to your first Worthy shoot and embarrass you,” Riley murmured, and a rush of adoration slid through her, melding with the heat.

God, she loved Riley. She loved her so damn much, and this – Riley – was all she’d ever wanted.

And, somehow, through the windiest twists of fate, she had her here. Somehow, Riley was hers for the taking.

It didn’t matter that she’d seen Riley’s naked body multiple times. It didn’t even really mean anything that the last – and first – time they’d kissed, Riley had been topless. Because Gianna hadn’t understood the full scope of what was going on.

She’d been so baffled and she’d had to hit the brakes.

But this time was different. This was different than ever before, because they were both topless, and their bare stomachs pressed together with every inhale, and Gianna was staring down at Riley’s generous breasts, straining against the fabric of her bra.

How many times had she thought about Riley’s chest? How many times had she fantasized about this very moment? About the softness of her skin, how hard her nipples were…

And now, Gianna’s eyes were glued there, because – this was happening.

She stood, transfixed. Starving for more, for everything, but in a way that was suddenly, terrifyingly, overwhelming.

She’d wanted this for so long, she’d wanted Riley more than anything or anyone, and now, she was literally in Gianna’s grasp.

If Gianna unleashed this inferno inside of her, she didn’t really know what would happen. She didn’t think she’d start confessing her love to Riley, but – who fucking knew? She could barely think coherent thoughts anymore.

“You can touch me,” Riley’s voice was raspy and laced with want.

Gianna’s thighs snapped together tightly and she barely managed to contain her groan, as she lifted her eyes from Riley’s chest to her face. She swallowed so tightly, licking her lips, unable to manage any words.

Riley saying that – you can touch me – was like its own dream come true.

“You don’t have to,” Riley continued, when Gianna remained frozen to the very spot. Her best friend’s voice was so damn sweet as she lifted her hand up and gently cupped Gianna’s cheek. She automatically leaned into the touch. “We don’t have to,” Riley assured her.

Riley was smiling at her softly, which was so at-odds with the arousal Gianna could so clearly see. Was that not the funniest thing in the world? Riley thought Gianna was hesitating because she might not want this.

When the reality was literally the opposite. Her hesitation was born from how heady and powerful this need was.

She paused because she didn’t know where to start. She paused because Riley – her Riley – didn’t even understand the door she was opening. She was leading Gianna up the stairway into heaven, and she had no damn idea.

And she was saying they didn’t have to.

Insane.

“We are,” Gianna nearly growled out, barely recognizing her own voice, as she leaned in, capturing Riley’s mouth with hers.

She was a woman starved, and she allowed it to pour into their kiss.

No kiss she’d ever had mattered like this. She was starving, because no one else was Riley. If there was a trade to make: she could have this one evening with Riley, or sleep with anyone else she found attractive on the planet for the rest of her life except for Riley, she chose this.

She lifted one of her hands, clawing into Riley’s hair, which felt so damn good to wrap in her fist. She’d touched Riley’s hair so many times, but never this way. Never tugged on it, yanking Riley’s head back as she plundered her mouth.

It was a thrill unlike anything she’d ever known.

The pulsing heat that took her over snapped her into motion. They’d – she’d – waited long enough. Waiting was over. She’d waited her entire life for this.

She unhooked Riley’s bra as she walked them back into Riley’s bedroom, her mind racing with everything she wanted, needed, to do.

Get Riley naked.

Get Riley in her bed.

Make Riley come so hard all she could think about was Gianna.

Fuuuck, Riley’s tits felt so good in her hands. Spilling into her palms, the perfect fit, and Gianna could hardly breathe as she teased her nipples with her thumbs.

Riley scratched down her back, before she hurriedly slid her hands around, and unbuttoned and unzipped Gianna’s jeans.

Her breath caught and held in her throat because this was entirely new for them. Riley was taking off her pants, and the anticipation threaded through her, coiling low in her stomach.

Riley wanted to see her. She wanted to feel her.

Gianna needed to please both Riley and herself, and she shoved her jeans off with the least regard for any item of clothing she’d ever owned. Leaving herself nearly bare for Riley’s gaze.

She had been stared at many, many times, in every state of undress. She knew her body was sculpted to the best form she could possibly have. She knew she’d been genetically gifted – the one good thing her parents gave her.

And she always enjoyed the first time her sexual partners really took her in. That first moment when they looked her up and down.

But it had never felt as good as this.

Riley Beckett was giving her that look.

Riley’s eyes were dark and her cheeks were pink and her lips parted and her breath hitched.

Gianna felt herself, literally, drip down her thigh.

“You can touch,” she echoed Riley’s comment from earlier, a rush hitting her all over again. Because Riley wanted to touch her.

Gianna raked her eyes over Riley, and she knew she was giving Riley the same stare Riley had given her.

She asserted, “But I’m going to touch first.”

With that, she pulled off Riley’s leggings and underwear, leaving her completely and entirely naked. In seconds, Gianna had Riley on her bed, splayed underneath her, and every inch of Gianna’s body was singing at the contact.

Riley wanted to touch her, and Gianna wanted that, too.

But Riley had only been waiting for this for a few weeks. Gianna had been waiting for this for over a decade. That meant she got to go first.

She pressed her thigh between Riley’s, a low groan escaping her own throat when she felt the hard press of Riley’s clit. God, would Gianna survive making Riley come?

If she was going to die, she had to make sure she did everything she’d dreamed of, first.

She took one of Riley’s hard nipples between her lips, sucking on her softly, as she tugged harder with her fingers on the other. She knew Riley liked differing pressures like that, and she blinked her hazy eyes open. Half of her mind was completely gone, lost in the pleasure of pleasing Riley, but the other half of her mind was focused. Dialed in completely on this moment.

Gianna was going to commit every single second to memory. Every sensation, every sound, every taste. She would remember this to the grave.

Part of that intention was keeping her eyes on Riley’s, holding that hazel that was growing greener and darker by the second, as she slowly dragged her tongue over the tip of her hard nipple. They both shuddered at the sensation.

Riley held her eye contact, and fuck, Gianna found it so sexy. That Riley was watching, taking every second in the way Gianna did.

“More,” Riley rasped out the command. “Touch me.”

The rough edge of her tone made Gianna whimper, and who was she to deny Riley anything? It wasn’t in her DNA.

Especially not this.

She drew her fingers up Riley’s thigh, her own breath catching and holding in her throat before she made direct contact with Riley’s pussy for the first time.

God. God, Riley was so fucking wet, coating Gianna’s fingers immediately. And it was all for her. Riley wanted her.

Mesmerized by it, Gianna stroked her fingers over Riley’s clit, working her over harder. Moving with the demanding pace Riley started to set with her hips, as she moaned out, “Fuuuck.”

“I know what you want,” she growled out, moving her fingers faster.

Because she knew it wasn’t going to make Riley come. She knew precisely what Riley needed.

“I know what you like,” she continued, hardly able to contain her own moan.

They’d had so many conversations about sex – frankly, many of them initiated by Gianna, herself. There was no such thing as too much information when it came to Riley. She’d never wanted to be, like, a pervert, getting off to learning about what Riley liked during sex. But she did like to know everything about Riley, and she wanted to hear every update and every detail about Riley’s life, including when she’d been with new people.

She just – she never once thought she’d be able to utilize it, beyond her dreams.

Riley was unashamed as she rolled her hips down against Gianna’s hand, seeking her own pleasure, as she groaned out, “Wh-what?”

“I think there’s a benefit to how well we both know each other. I know your favorite thing is someone going down on you,” Gianna murmured, her pulse thudding in her veins, the words nearly choking her.

She was going to go down on Riley. Right now.

She got to have her mouth on Riley.

She dragged her teeth over the tip of Riley’s nipple, teasing her, trying to contain herself before she fucking exploded.

“How many times have you bemoaned how your partners didn’t really know what they were doing and rarely wanted to take direction?” Gianna would never be able to forget the times Riley had been so sexually frustrated when they’d hung out after those dates.

How Riley would tell her she’d literally told the guy she was with what she wanted, how he’d been right there, but then hadn’t actually listened to her after finding the right spot.

Gianna had wanted to throttle the man. And now, she was certainly not going to make the same mistakes.

Not with any partner, but definitely not with Riley.

She worked her way down Riley’s body, taking her time as she went. She couldn’t rush this process; she needed to kiss that freckle just under Riley’s right breast. And she needed to trace her tongue over the small scar on Riley’s right side from when she’d had her appendix removed.

She tasted and touched every part of Riley until she settled right between her thighs.

Her head was swimming and she’d never felt such aroused anticipation in her life. Gianna’s own hips were rocking down into the bed of their own volition, as she stared at Riley’s soaked core, before she ran her heavily lidded gaze back up her body, meeting Riley’s intense stare.

“You can give me direction,” she husked out. “I know how to take it… really, really well.”

She could both see and feel the shudder that wracked Riley’s body, and then –

And then Riley reached down and took a handful of her hair, her movement firm and steady, as she directed Gianna down.

Everything inside of her went weak at Riley’s touch. She’d always thought that they’d be so compatible. Gianna loved to take direction, that wasn’t just meant to tease Riley. And Riley loved to give it.

She wasted no time in feasting on Riley, moaning long and low at the first taste. Working her tongue over Riley’s slit, dipping inside and feeling her clench over her.

So good. Riley tasted and felt so fucking  good, and Gianna shouldered in even closer, Riley’s leg moving over so her thigh was pressed against Gianna’s ear, and she could feel Riley’s heel digging into her back.

Yes, this was exactly how Gianna wanted to die.

Her face buried in Riley, her lips and cheeks and chin covered in her, the sounds from Riley’s mouth the last things Gianna would hear.

Driven forward, she flicked her tongue up, moving over Riley’s clit.

She could feel the hard bundle throb against her tongue, and it spurred her on to move even faster. Wrapping her lips around Riley, she pulsed her tongue over the tip of her clit, knowing this would drive Riley over the edge.

She knew it even before Riley’s hand in her hair tightened, before Riley cried out, before her thigh tensed and pressed tightly against Gianna’s head.

Riley was coming right into her mouth, and Gianna could hear her own needy, hungry sounds as she worked her through her orgasm. Taking everything Riley had to give her.

When the tension drained from Riley’s body, leaving her lax against the bed as her leg fell from Gianna’s shoulder, she reluctantly stopped.

Because she knew Riley was very sensitive after an orgasm, and Gianna would only be leaving Riley with definitive proof of how incredible sex with her was.

Besides, she thought, as she gently stroked her tongue over Riley one more time, before placing a soft kiss on her thigh – she wanted to see Riley’s face.

In fact, she was desperate for it.

What did Riley look like when she came? What did she look like, totally blissed out?

She lifted her head, looking down at Riley, who was laying bonelessly against the mattress. Like the orgasm had taken all of her strength.

A bone-deep satisfaction worked through Gianna, as she slowly crawled up to blanket Riley’s body with her own.

She knew it wasn’t often that Riley came so hard she needed a minute to revel in it and regain her bearings. But Gianna had caused that.

And, as she braced on her elbows and looked down at Riley’s face, she’d never felt such a softness before in her fucking life.

It tempered ever-so-slightly the pounding need that Gianna had hammering through her.

Tenderness wasn’t common for her to feel after sex. Sure, sometimes she was into a cuddle or some soft touches; casual intimacy could feel nice.

But this kind of true tenderness she felt come over her was a brand new sensation.

Riley looked so beautiful. Her eyes closed, a small smile on her full lips, her skin actually fucking glowing.

Gianna angled her hand to scratch at Riley’s head, tunneling through her hair, moving in a way she’d done hundreds of times when they’d just been hanging out, cuddling. Something she knew Riley really enjoyed, that made her feel comforted.

She smiled, completely besotted, as Riley blinked her eyes open up at her.

“You really know what you’re doing there,” Riley whispered, her voice deliciously raw.

Gianna’s very soul hummed in contentment. “Well, it helped that I’ve known about your sexual preferences for the last decade.”

Riley shivered against her touch, and Gianna was just so –

So surprised, when Riley wasted no time in flipping Gianna over onto her back, rolling on top of her.

For a second, her eyes fluttered closed at the sensation of Riley on top of her body. Completely bare, pressing Gianna into the soft blanket.

But just as quickly, she opened her eyes to stare up at Riley, her throat dry, her pulse skittering through her veins.

Fuck, Riley looked so good on top of her, and Gianna couldn’t stop the way her hips pressed up. She loved sex, but she was never so damn desperate for it.

She dug her fingers down into the blankets, gripping tightly, as she tried to keep a level head. As level of a head anyone in her situation could keep, anyway.

This was Riley’s first time with a woman. She’d never done this before, and Gianna – she needed to make sure Riley knew that she didn’t expect anything. Because, truly, she didn’t. Being able to make Riley come… that was the experience of a lifetime.

Did she want – so fucking badly – for Riley to touch her? God, yes.

But, “You don’t have to–”

She didn’t even finish speaking before Riley swiftly cut her off. “I’m going to.”

Gianna’s entire body shivered, her clit throbbed, and she curled her fingers into such tight fists in Riley’s blanket, she thought she might tear a hole in it.

Especially when Riley lifted herself to be able to look down at her, drawing her eyes slowly over Gianna’s body.

Riley’s desire for her was so clear, and it made her head spin.

“I’m not shocked that you were decisive, when it comes to sex or what you want,” Riley murmured, slowly sliding her hand up Gianna’s stomach, coming to pause when she reached Gianna’s bra.

She moved immediately, stripping herself of the garment and tossing it on the floor. She never treated her lingerie so carelessly, but she couldn’t give a damn right now.

Riley’s mouth fell open at the sight of her, and she moved both of her hands up again, toward Gianna’s chest.

“It’s so fascinating. I’ve just never thought before, about how responsive women would be. Or, I guess, how responsive you would be,” Riley’s voice was so low, thoughtful, as she finally made contact with Gianna’s breasts.

She braced herself, all of her muscles tensing in preparation for Riley touching her like this, and it still was barely enough to keep herself from bucking her hips up and begging for more.

Riley’s fingers tugged at her nipples, and the sparks shot straight to her clit. She couldn’t stop herself from rocking her hips up, searching for friction, and nearly died when Riley rolled her own hips down to meet her.

She could hardly catch her breath, arching up into Riley’s touch, urging her to continue. Her fingers were magic, and the spell wound itself through Gianna’s body, settling low in her stomach. Heat curling through her, driving her higher, higher, higher.

“No wonder so many people fall at your feet. Especially after they experience this,” Riley’s voice was soft and wondrous.

Wondrous at Gianna.

She knew Riley thought she was, objectively, beautiful. But that was so, so different from this. From Riley telling Gianna that it made sense to her why her sexual partners fell over themselves for her. Because Riley was experiencing it herself.

Gianna cried out, shuddering, as she dug rocked her hips up harder, more demanding, into Riley’s.

She was close. She was embarrassingly close to falling right over the edge, chasing an orgasm that promised to be better than anything she’d ever felt in her life.

And Riley hadn’t even really touched her yet.

“You know what I like,” Riley hummed out, before –

Oh, FUCK.

Her touch was rougher, working over Gianna’s nipples harder, before she pinned her hips down, totally taking charge over Gianna’s every movement.

God. Oh. God. Fuck.

Yes.

“But I know what you like, too,” Riley finished, scratching her hands down her stomach in a touch that mirrored – yes, Riley knew exactly what would drive her crazy.

Anything Riley did to her, really, would do the trick.

But Riley having catalogued everything she’d said about what she liked during sex? Riley now using that on her?!

She was going to fucking come. She was going to come so quickly, and she knew it, and she couldn’t slow it down for the life of her.

Riley tugged her underwear down, and Gianna spread her legs, wanton and needy. She knew Riley could see how ready Gianna was, even before she murmured, “You’re so wet.”

It was almost hilarious, how Riley sounded like she could barely believe how wet Gianna was for her. She’d never been so soaked in her entire life as she was right now, especially before coming.

But that orgasm was right on the precipice. Gianna felt it, and she welcomed it, and she needed it, and she just needed a little more…

She fisted Riley’s comforter, preparing herself for falling off of the cliff in front of her. Unable to catch her breath, as it continuously hitched higher and higher as Riley slid her fingertips up Gianna’s inner-thigh.

Oh. Yes. YES.

Riley touched her clit, stroking in small circles –

And Gianna was done for, just as she knew she’d be.

She arched, uncontrollably, into Riley, her eyes closing, as the pleasure coursed through her body at the simple touch.

Riley kept her fingers pressed against her clit, which only served to draw out Gianna’s orgasm even longer. Feeling herself pulse against Riley.

She could have blacked out from the pleasure. This – this was it.

She was dizzy from it, dazed, as she stared up, breath laboring.

Riley’s eyes were wide, fixed to hers, as she asked, “Did you just come?”

Gianna nodded, unashamed and panting. She’d never come so fucking hard in her life, and she needed more. She needed Riley to fuck her until she could barely breathe. Needed Riley to fuck her. She couldn’t leave this bed until she’d felt Riley filling her, until Gianna was sure she couldn’t come any more.

She half-begged, half-ordered, “Do it again.”

And Gianna gripped the comforter again, settling in.

.

.

.

.

.

.