Guilty as Sin - ch 23 (Patreon)

Who doesn't love a visit from Katherine Spencer?

(Sutton and Charlotte at this moment in particular, maybe...)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Typically, seeing her mom made Sutton feel comforted. Her mom, really, was the ultimate feeling of home and safety.

So.

The overwhelming feelings of dread and !!!! that were currently combining inside of her to make her feel so anxious, she might throw up at the sight of her mom on Charlotte’s doorstep in this moment were – unfamiliar.

She would give anything to feel an ounce of that typical comfort right now.

Right now, as she was standing ten feet away from her mom while she was wrapped in Charlotte’s soft sheet. A sheet they’d had sex on, multiple times, last night.

Was she – was she dreaming?

She was pretty sure she’d fallen into an exhausted, dreamless sleep whenever she and Charlotte had collapsed together a few hours ago. So, maybe this was some way that a nightmare was managing to slip in?

Because this… this was definitely falling into nightmare territory, especially as she realized how difficult it was for her to stop staring, wide-eyed, at her mom. It was almost like her mom’s eyes were magnets of an opposite pole, the blue of them electric. Seeming to grow even brighter by the second.

Sutton’s breathing grew a little erratic.

“Would you,” Charlotte spoke, cutting into the intense stare Sutton was on the receiving end of. Both Sutton and her mom snapped their attentions to Charlotte. Charlotte, who faltered in the middle of her sentence in a manner that was so deeply unlike her. She cleared her throat. “Would you like to come in?”

Sutton had already been a firm believer that Charlotte was some sort of miracle. Even before they’d had sex, she’d been so in awe of her. Of the way she handled herself. And now that they were having sex, that wonder only compounded.

Now that she’d been on the receiving end of Charlotte’s mouth and fingers and all of that unbridled, unrestrained focus…

“Awe” simply wasn’t a strong enough word, actually.

But the fact that she managed to look Sutton’s mother in the eye and ask in a voice that was ninety-nine percent composed in this moment – that was awe-inducing all on its own.

Sutton watched as her mom looked Charlotte up and down –

And she, herself, only noticed what Charlotte was wearing for the first time. The shortest, silkiest black robe, one that left very little to the imagination. One that Sutton would be set on fire by at literally any other time.

She wished to every possible god in the world that this was a nightmare. That she wasn’t seeing Charlotte’s sexy little silk robe and tousled morning hair at the exact same time her mother was seeing it.

“I’m going to remain in the hallway,” Katherine declined, and the sound of her mom’s voice in that tone send an uncomfortable shiver down Sutton’s spine. “At least for a couple of minutes, so you two can make yourselves presentable. And then Sutton and I can start this conversation over.”

Sutton winced, her heart thudding so hard she felt lightheaded from the way her mom pointedly said Sutton and I.

“Fair enough,” Charlotte’s voice didn’t waver, but Sutton could see how incredibly tense she was, even from several feet away.

“Mom, please come in.” The words felt like sandpaper as they exited her throat. But Sutton was somewhat proud of herself for finally managing to say anything. Even if she didn’t really know what she was saying.

What she did know was that it felt so strange and made her undefinably uncomfortable to have her mom standing out in the hallway. Especially because they were at Charlotte’s place. She was positive that Charlotte’s neighbors kept mostly to themselves, and – given the building – expected a level of discretion from living here.

But still.

Her mom, both of her parents, were public figures. So was Charlotte. And having anyone spot her here… she had to think about Charlotte, no matter what she was feeling.

For as deeply uncomfortable as Sutton was given that she’d never seen her mom aim that kind of look at her, the reality was – this was Charlotte’s worst nightmare. Being discovered like this…

It made her stomach drop right down to her feet, lower than low.

“Please,” she repeated, a truly pleading edge slipping into her voice, as she angled her jaw up and held her mom’s gaze.

Katherine took in a long, deep inhale through her nose, before she acquiesced. Stiffly, she nodded, before she walked past Charlotte. Sutton found herself moving to fidget, only to realize that if she moved her arms too quickly, the sheet was too precariously tucked in to stay on her.

“I’ll wait right here,” her mom stated, as she folded her arms, standing just beyond Charlotte, firmly rooted barely inside of the apartment.

Charlotte slowly closed the door, and Sutton’s attention snapped right back to her. Watched the way Charlotte smoothed her hands down over her robe, not that it would do much, given that her robe was already as long as it could possibly go, cutting off mid-thigh.

“If you’d like, I have coffee in the kitchen,” she offered, stopping next to Katherine. Looking her in the eye.

Sutton watched as her mom leveled Charlotte with a stare right back. “I’m all set.”

Charlotte nodded, forcing her lips into a small smile. One that, Sutton could tell, was so strained, but to someone that didn’t know Charlotte, likely looked almost normal.

“Mom…” She started again, unsure of where to even go with the rest of the sentence. She moved back and forth, unable to settle with the way her nervous system was screaming.

What could she say? How could she explain this to her mom in the best light possible?

She glanced down at herself once more, taking in the visual she made. All wrapped up in Charlotte’s sheet, her hair likely messy – god, she hadn’t even considered that she might have any marks on her from Charlotte.

She could feel how hot her cheeks burned as her spine snapped straight up. Nope, she definitely had to get dressed before this conversation could happen, otherwise she was positive that she would begin to pace or move her arms or – or something, and the sheet would slip to the ground, and this would become even worse. “I’ll be right back.”

Her mom nodded. “I’m going to let your father know that you’re… fine.”

God, what even was that tone? Sutton felt like she was going to be sick from the surprise and the uncertainty and the… the disapproval that she could feel absolutely radiating from her mom.

Her knees felt about as steady as Jell-O as she walked with Charlotte back toward her bedroom. She could feel the tension vibrating off of Charlotte, as they walked shoulder-to-shoulder, but didn’t actually touch.

When they reached the bedroom, though, she stopped short, glancing over her shoulder toward the other side of Charlotte’s apartment, where her mom was. Even though she couldn’t see her, given that she was around the corner, she knew her mom was there.

Darting her eyes back toward Charlotte, she worried at her bottom lip. “Do you think… maybe we should go in one at a time?”

“I think, unfortunately, that your mother has already learned that we’ve slept together. Our getting dressed in the same room couldn’t possibly make this worse.” As soon as she finished speaking, Charlotte tilted her head in question. “Unless you think that would make a difference to her? You know her far better than I do.”

Sutton was already rolling her eyes at herself. Of course, Charlotte was right. Whatever they did now wasn’t really the issue. No, the issue had already happened, and Sutton’s heart rate still hadn’t calmed back down to normal.

She walked back into the bedroom, her eyes landing on her phone. Right where she’d left it – on the mattress, screen facing up. She’d stirred as soon as she’d felt Charlotte leave the bed, and had then blinked her eyes open and been shocked by how bright it was already.

Which had prompted her minor panic to grab the sheet and rush out to find the time, and had then stumbled upon her mom.

“Phone charger. I need – do you have a phone charger in here?” She asked Charlotte, her mind spinning in a million directions. “I need to talk to Regan and find out what happened this morning. I need to know everything that happened before she got here.”

Would it make her feel more prepared? Could she be more prepared?

She… she’d never been in this position, before. Not with her mom.

Even when she’d been stressed about coming out, unsure about the best time or circumstance, she’d known in her heart that her mom wouldn’t be upset. She’d known with certainty that her parents would support her.

It filled her stomach with knots that wouldn’t quit when she thought about the fact that she had no clue what her mom would say to her in this situation. What she would think of her.

What Sutton knew without a shadow of a doubt was that her mother was far from pleased or proud. And that… that already gnawed at her.

Blinking herself back to the moment, she realized Charlotte was handing Sutton her phone, already plugged in and starting to charge.

“Here; it’s a fast charger, so your phone should be ready to turn on in a minute.” Charlotte’s voice was gentle, but the look in her eyes wasn’t. She looked as though she’d been shaken to her very core. “I’m just going to brush my teeth. Gather my wits for a minute.” She nodded toward her ensuite.

Sutton swallowed tightly, nodding back at her. Trying to manage a feeble smile of reassurance.

How could she reassure Charlotte when she was panicking, too?

She didn’t even know what the hell she was reassuring Charlotte about, honestly. That her mom was going to be okay about this? Because – as much as Sutton wished she was – she wouldn’t be. At least, not unless Sutton could, could get her to understand. That her mom wouldn’t tell anyone about Charlotte? Of that, Sutton could be almost one-hundred-percent convinced.

Charlotte returned that smile, small as it was, before she walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

Great! Even more to be concerned about! Because that – that was fucking weird, and now Sutton was in knots for multiple reasons and her breath was coming far too quickly.

Charlotte… she might have been fine with her grandmother knowing about them, but they hadn’t crossed this bridge, yet. And they’d only just started. They’d hardly started this relationship – was it even, technically, a relationship?! It wasn’t like they’d used official girlfriend terminology at this point.

Sutton dropped her head back with a groan, doing everything she could to will herself to try to calm down.

Getting even more worked up as the shock was wearing off wouldn’t help her. Not when it came to Charlotte and definitely not when it came to talking about this with her mother.

As she restarted her phone, she took a deep inhale and looked around.

Charlotte’s bedroom, in the light of day, was unsurprisingly lovely, if devoid of a lot of personality. Typical, she now knew after being in Charlotte’s D.C. apartment, of Charlotte’s decorating acumen.

Though, here, there were some more personal touches. A picture of her and her brothers on the dresser, and there was a large, framed photo out in the living room of Charlotte and her grandmother, as well as tastefully chosen artwork here and there.

She hadn’t noticed the small hanging plant over by the window or the large potted one near the bathroom door, and the sight made her smile. Just a little. It was… nice. Seeing actual personal touches of Charlotte here. Who she was as a real person, outside of work, even if she didn’t believe she was a person outside of work.

Sutton grabbed that calming feeling and held to it as tightly as she could.

Only to pause when she realized with a sinking feeling that the only clothing of her own was her dress from last night, laying crumpled on the floor.

She couldn’t wear that and then go have a serious face-to-face with her mother!

Mindful to keep her voice down, she walked over to the bathroom door, where she could hear the sink running. Gently, she tapped her knuckles against it. “Charlotte?” She cleared her throat, realizing that Charlotte had shut off the water. “Do you mind if I wear something of yours?”

“Of course not. Everything you’ll need is in the dresser,” Charlotte’s voice came back to her.

Okay. Did Charlotte sound normal? It was muffled through the door, but… maybe it was normal?

She couldn’t waste her time wondering about that, though.

Not as she quickly moved to the dresser and opened a couple of drawers, pulling out a Yale T-shirt that she’d seen Charlotte wear before…

And, despite the circumstances they were in currently, a little thrill worked through her. She wanted to wear this. Honestly, it might even be a little comforting? In a weird way?

She found a pair of cotton shorts, then walked back to the bed.

Her phone was back on, finally.

Without hesitation, she snagged it, and called Regan.

Who answered before the first ring had even finished. “Oh, thank GOD. You’re alive!”

“What the hell happened.” The words weren’t even close to a question as they left her mouth. They were close to a screech, however, and Sutton had to snap her jaw shut, her teeth clicking together.

She didn’t want to make an accusation, because she knew Regan too well, and she knew how much Regan loved her. But – but she needed to know what was going on. Ideally, before she went back out to face her mother, which she needed to do imminently.

“You tell me what happened, ginger sunshine!” Regan immediately shot back. “You never came home last night, and I’ve been trying to text you all morning! I called you, and your phone went right to voicemail. I’ve been watching the clock countdown to when your parents were going to pick us up for brunch this morning more intently than I’ve ever watched the New Year’s Eve countdown!” Regan’s voice went up a notch, nearing a true panicked tone.

Sutton slapped her hand to her forehead, groaning at the giant mess this had turned into. She’d hit herself a little harder than she’d intended, but the sharp sting of the pain felt – right. Deserved.

“My phone died at some point last night,” she muttered, annoyed at herself all over again.

If she’d maintained any semblance of being in touch with reality last night, all of this could have been avoided.  

“Too busy getting railed to plug your phone in, I see,” Regan scoffed.

“Regan. Focus.” They were on a short time limit here.

“Right. Yeah, so as the clock ticked down, you were off the grid, and then your freaking parents showed up here!” She hissed at Sutton. “Twenty minutes earlier than the plan, as expected, because god knows they love to have a little hang out and catch up, being all sweet and involved and loving and whatnot. And normally, I love that! But today I was sweating it! Ask Emma. I literally sweated through my shirt.”

“She did,” Emma’s voice filtered in from the background.

“Your mom – obviously – immediately asked if you were up yet.” Regan huffed out a breath. “Right away, I’m put in a catch-22, Sutton Victoria Spencer. Because then, option one is: you’re still sleeping at ten in the morning, which usually means that you’re sick or something is seriously wrong… or, clearly, that you had some great sex that kept you up all night, not that your parents were considering that as an option. Or, we have option two: yes, you are up, but for some reason, you aren’t freaking home, even though you knew your parents were taking us to brunch! Which you would never do, unless kidnapped or seriously maimed.”

Sutton’s head was spinning and her temples were pounding, and she felt so fucking dumb. So, so stupid. How could she –

Okay, well. She knew how. One thought of Charlotte, the way Charlotte looked laying underneath her on her bed, the way Charlotte could skillfully make her forget everything she’d ever known…

That was how.

Regan was still obviously on a roll. “I couldn’t tell them that you’re home and in your bed, because your parents would go in and find out that’s a lie. Even if I told them you were puking all over and your head was spinning in circles on your neck, your parents wouldn’t be like oh, our sweet Sutton is sick? Guess we’ll LEAVE and not go and CHECK ON HER.”

Sutton grimaced, needing to take the phone away from her ear at Regan’s decibel.

“So, I try to just do a non-answer: Sutton isn’t here. And then they’re all well, where is she? And I didn’t know what to tell them! And, you know what? I, technically, didn’t even know you were at Charlotte’s. It’s not like you texted me.”

She could hear Regan’s I am innocent in this voice loud and clear, and Sutton understood – “Yes, you’re absolved of any possible fibbing.”

And Sutton did mean that. Because, for as outrageous as Regan was, and for as much as she knew Regan would have her back when it came to anyone, including her parents, she also knew that Regan hated the idea of disrespecting Sutton’s parents. Of lying to their faces. Of possibly damaging the way they, especially Katherine, might see her.

“Thanks, I needed that off my conscience.” Regan was absolutely meant that. “Anyway, your dad was all intense and quiet. And your mom was intense and not quiet, asking me questions. Where is Sutton?! They both getting all concerned and worried. I either had to make up a total crazy-ass lie about where you could possibly be this morning for some reason, blowing them off without a single word. Or. I could tell them the technical truth.”

Ah, there it was. “So… you said you didn’t know where I was. Not, technically, a lie.”

“Bingo! And then they tried to call you and text you. Which, I knew, was pointless. Their calls were going right to voicemail, too. Your mom went and peeked in your room, saw that your bed was clearly not slept in.”

Nope. Sutton’s bed had been made yesterday morning, and she could imagine that her parents had really started to panic.

“And… she became alarmed,” Sutton surmised, quietly.

Guilt slithered through her veins, puncturing little holes to mix with the unease and stress already eating at her. 

“Both of your parents were ready to call the police and file a missing person report, yeah,” Regan needlessly confirmed. “Before they decided to do that, your mom left, and your dad has been pacing around in the living room, making a ton of phone calls.”

Fuck.

Okay.

She had to go and talk to her mom, now.

“Well, she found me,” Sutton informed Regan, realizing that she hadn’t yet shared that information.

“Oh. Well. I guess it’s good that they aren’t going to send out an AMBER Alert.”

“Those are only for children,” Emma said in the background before Sutton could.

She could tell that Regan didn’t have her on speaker phone, which she appreciated. She assumed Regan and Emma were in Regan’s bedroom, but if her dad was there… she couldn’t take any more chances today.

“If anyone could make it happen, it would be Sutton’s parents while searching for her. I promise you,” Regan informed Emma, before she said right back to the phone toward Sutton, “And you know it.”

Sutton… couldn’t totally disagree.

“Wait,” a sudden urgency struck through Regan’s voice. “She found you at Charlotte’s?”

“What?!” Emma’s voice sounded absolutely horror-stricken.

There it was.

“Yep,” Sutton confirmed, pressing a hand to her churning stomach. “And, um, it wasn’t good.” Obviously. How could it be “good?!” “Like, it was really bad. She… knows.”

Regan gasped. “Nooooooo.”

“Yes.” She grimly confirmed. “So, I have to go deal with that, now.”

“Oh no.”

She heaved a sigh, shrugging to herself in the empty room. There it was. Nothing else she could do or say, really. “So. I guess I’ll talk to you later.”

“If you survive.”

“Regan,” Emma rebuked.

“What?! Sorry, you perfect angel, but I’m just trying to be realistic here. You don’t know Katherine Spencer when she’s pissed, but she’s terrifying, and–”

Sutton simply ended the call before Regan could get going in detail about how scary her mom could be when she was truly upset. She dropped the phone to her bed, torn between rushing to get dressed or taking as long as possible.

But that only lasted for a second, because Sutton had never been very good at existing in conflict, and she didn’t want to exist here with her mom. The sooner she went out there, the sooner they could – maybe – reach a… good… place?

Just as she finished putting on Charlotte’s shirt and shorts, the bathroom door opened, and Charlotte emerged looking so ridiculously beautiful.

It should be unfair, she really believed that. Charlotte had washed her face, and probably put on some kind of moisturizer, because she looked almost like she was glowing, her skin looked radiant and so soft. She’d brushed and styled her hair, leaving her long, brown waves tumbling over her shoulders – no more bedhead. Even though it had been really cute.

But Charlotte didn’t want to be seen as cute, at least Sutton didn’t think so.

She wanted to be seen as strong and ready to take on anything or anyone. Especially in a situation they were in right now, probably.

She managed a small, tremulous smile, toying with the hem of her shirt. Well, Charlotte’s shirt. “Is this okay?” She gestured at herself, at the clothing she’d borrowed.

Charlotte tilted her head, dragging her eyes up and down Sutton. “Very much so.”

“Charlotte–”

“Sutton–”

They both started at the same time, and Sutton’s stomach fluttered with pleased-yet-nervous butterflies. This was – weird. It was their first “morning after” in the real world. Nothing they’d done at the cabin felt…

Well, it definitely felt real. It was all real. But it existed in a bubble beyond where they lived. It existed in its own in-between space without all of their complications and real-world complexities.

And then her mom showed up and really highlighted those complications.

Charlotte gestured for her to speak first.

But Sutton – she didn’t even know what to bring up. And she wasn’t sure that she and Charlotte should try to start having this sort of relationship conversation while her mom was waiting on her.

So, she shook her head. “You go.”

Charlotte scanned her eyes over her face. “I know that your mother made it clear that she intended to have a conversation solely with you. But do you want me to go out there with you?”

That – okay, well, after Charlotte had gone immediately into the bathroom and shut the door between them, that hadn’t been at all what Sutton had thought she’d say. “You… are offering to go out there and have a conversation with my mother, after she essentially walked in on us the morning after we spent all night having sex?”

Charlotte grimaced, but didn’t back down. “I suppose so. Yes. I am.” The stress that was weighing on her was very clear in her solemn tone. “I don’t feel right, throwing you to the wolves all on your own.”

“You aren’t,” she disagreed without hesitation. “It’s not – I mean, she’s my mom.” Sutton had to remind herself of that, too. “Even if she’s… um. Surprised? She’s not – it’s going to be fine.”

It did make her chest feel glow-y and warm that Charlotte would offer to face her mother at Sutton’s side, but Sutton could see beyond that feeling. And beyond that was the reality: the conversation would likely go a lot better without Charlotte there.

Sutton knew that, at the end of the day, her mom loved her no matter what.

Her mom didn’t know Charlotte enough to love her.

Therefore, she didn’t think it would be the best combination for a resolution at this moment in time.

Charlotte’s eyebrows were lifted high on her forehead, obviously skeptical of Sutton’s assertion of fine-ness, but she didn’t voice it. “All right. If you’d both rather speak one-on-one, then I’ll respect that.”

Sutton could tell there was still something off about Charlotte. Not quite the exact same as she’d been last night. And she absolutely hated it.

In fact, it might be causing her more anxiety than the situation with her mom.

At the end of the day, she knew she and her mom would work everything out. Even if it took some time.

But she didn’t want what she had with Charlotte to be snuffed out before it could even really get started.

The biting worry over that made her hesitant to leave the room, but she knew logically that the order of operations had to be: her mom, then Charlotte. Even if Sutton was willing to try to push the conversation off with her mother – which, she wasn’t – she couldn’t, by any measure, envision Charlotte being all right with that. With Katherine Spencer out in her apartment, waiting for Sutton.

Tangling her fingers together, she pressed them tightly against her stomach. It didn’t do anything to calm the churning there. “I… I’ll be back. Or, um, you can come out. Of the room!” She rushed to add, internally groaning at her choice of words. “Whenever you want. Because this is your place. So – you know, whatever you want to do. My mom and I could even leave, if you think that’s best,” she found herself offering before even thinking it through.

But maybe that did make the most sense?

If they left the scene of the crime, so to speak?

Before she started to spiral down that rabbit hole, she felt Charlotte’s hand land on top of hers, squeezing gently. “Sutton. You two don’t have to leave. And I knew what you meant.”

She offered Sutton a tiny, crooked smile. Riddled with her own nerves, but obviously offering support.

Sutton latched onto that.

Charlotte squeezed her hands again, before letting her go. “Now – you should probably go, lest she start to think…”

Sutton’s eyes widened at the implication.

Her mom wouldn’t think that, though. If she and Charlotte came in here and hooked up while her mom was right out there?! That would be utter insanity.

Then again, she was sure her mom already thought this situation was utter insanity, so.

“Right. I’m going.”

With that, she fortified herself with a deep breath, and left the bedroom.

Walking back into Charlotte’s apartment felt like she was entering a different world. Like somehow, her mother’s presence had made the temperature drop?

She walked back to the living room, seeing her mom standing almost exactly where they’d left her. Leaning slightly against the wall, her posture stiff and tense. Her eyes were closed, as she had one hand up, rubbing at her temples.

“Mom…” Sutton started, and her mom’s eyes snapped open, her arm falling to her side. “How did you even get here?” She shook her head. “Not – I mean, how did you know I was here?”

“The LifeLink app,” her mom answered, as if Sutton was being ridiculous for even asking.

And she kind of was, she guessed. Because – right. God, obviously.

Her parents hadn’t been thrilled about her moving to New York City, worried sick over her safety and well-being. Sutton had been the one to offer – to give them peace of mind – for them all to download the app and link their accounts together. LineLink was similar to location sharing, but went a step farther, showing proximity to phone location. Her only provision had been:

“We agreed you’d only use it in case of an emergency.”

Her mom’s eyebrows shot up high, clearly affronted. “And I’ve never once used it before. But this morning certainly felt like an emergency to me and your father. You’ve never once, in the eight years you’ve lived away from home, missed plans with us. You don’t miss plans with anyone. Regan didn’t even know where you were. You didn’t make it home last night. Your phone wasn’t ringing through.”

Katherine wrapped an arm around her own stomach, rolling her lips tightly, and Sutton could hear the lingering distress in her voice, as she went through the list of reasons constituting her judgment call that this was an emergency situation.

That guilt came back with a vengeance. Especially because she knew her mom was telling the truth. The great thing about LifeLink was that both parties needed to enter a shared passcode in order to link together, and any party could disable the passcode to break the link at any time, so some random person or stranger couldn’t access it. And you could always see when someone who was linked with you tracked your location.

Sutton had, sporadically, checked the app after they’d downloaded it years ago, to make sure her parents held up their end of the agreement. The whole reason she’d felt the need to move to a different city, as she’d told Charlotte, was to really feel like she was living her own life. She didn’t want to feel as though her parents were following her every move.

Unsurprisingly, though, they’d always kept their word, and the app had remained as a security measure.

Which was why, honestly, Sutton had even forgotten it was still on her phone. She didn’t remember the last time she’d opened it.

“Sutton, honey, what…” Katherine closed her eyes, shaking her head. “My mind is spinning, trying desperately to piece together a story that could make sense. That could explain why you seem to have spent the night here, at your boss’s home, and then be walking around wearing nothing but what appeared to be her bed sheet. Trying to think of something that makes sense as to what you’re doing here, that isn’t what all of the glaring signs are pointing to.”

Her mom was quiet for a few seconds, letting that silence fill the air between them, as she searched Sutton’s gaze with her own.

She’d never wanted to shut her eyes and turn away from her mom more. She didn’t. But she desperately wanted to.

“This would be a wonderful time for you to tell me that reason. To fill in the blanks that my mind has to be filling in incorrectly,” her mom prompted, her tone gentle and encouraging, but also… pleading in a way Sutton was unfamiliar with. “However improbable, I’ll believe you. I promise.”

It made everything inside of her twist even tighter together, sickeningly so. Her hands shook, and she pressed them even tighter together.

For the first time in her life, Sutton nearly outright lied to her mom. Even in the past, when it came to Kyle or when her relationship with Joshua had become… bad, she hadn’t lied to her mom’s face. She’d simply omitted.

But Sutton didn’t want to lie, and that feeling ran so deeply through her veins, two-fold. She didn’t want to lie to her mom, and she didn’t want to lie about Charlotte.

“It… it is what it looks like,” she managed to say, and her voice barely shook at all. She was proud of that.

Her mom closed her eyes again, her lips pursing into a tight line.

Sutton felt like she’d really put a final nail in the coffin. And she wondered if that coffin contained all of the respect her mom had for her.

The idea made her want to cry, her heart aching, and she took another step closer to her mom, the words falling from her lips, “Mom, I know you’re upset with me–”

“Sutton, I’m not–” Katherine cut herself off with a sharp exhale. “I… am so… disappointed.” The word sounded so foreign falling from her mom’s mouth aimed toward Sutton. Her mom sounded like she couldn’t believe she was saying it, and Sutton felt it buzz through her veins like a livewire.

So disappointed.

Katherine continued, “And I’m confused. Why – just, why?”

Why? The question pinged through Sutton’s mind, as she stared back at her mom. Why?

“Because…” Because Charlotte was the most inspiring, brilliant, capable woman she’d ever met, and on top of that, she was also the most beautiful, as an added bonus. Because Charlotte treated Sutton with so much value, and she let Sutton in, in ways she didn’t let anyone else see her. Even before they’d had sex. Because of the way Charlotte laughed when Sutton made a joke, like she was taken by surprise by how funny she found it. “Because I fell for her,” she said, simply. The details wouldn’t really matter to her mom, not right now. She could see that. “I didn’t plan for it to happen.”

“I know you didn’t. But, out of all of the people in the world – people here in this city! – you’re having a tryst with your boss?” The way her mom voiced the words into existence, it sounded like she was speaking a language she didn’t yet have a firm grasp on. Like she couldn’t quite make sense of what she was saying, because it didn’t add up correctly.

Sutton felt her cheeks heat, and she knew that her face had to be a deep red, as she admitted quietly, “I know how it looks–”

“Do you?” Katherine cut in, her voice sharp. Firm and genuinely inquiring.

Sutton could tell this wasn’t rhetorical by the way her mom stared at her, waiting for her response. “Yes. I do.”

“It really doesn’t seem that way.”

God, Sutton felt the damning tone her mom used like a slap to the face.

“Charlotte and I – this just started, a couple of weeks ago,” Sutton started to explain. “But I’ve wanted it for a lot longer.”

“I believed there was a high probability that you’d developed a crush on her, based on how you spoke about her. But I didn’t know if she’d returned that affection. And I certainly didn’t believe either of you would be so thoughtless as to act on it.”

“We didn’t,” she insisted. “Not for months. We didn’t talk about it or acknowledge that there was something between us, at all.”

Her mom’s lips pulled down into a deep frown, a new line of thought clearly popping into her head. “All of those trips you took to D.C., staying in her apartment…”

The raw, living condemnation in her mom’s voice shook Sutton to her core, even though she could tell that it wasn’t necessarily directed at her. Well, she didn’t think so. Normally, she’d be able to conclusively say what she believed her mom was thinking, but her entire world felt off-kilter right now.

“We didn’t ever do anything in her apartment, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. Never,” she swore.

Her mom’s stare returned to her, and the look she shot Sutton was – it was like she couldn’t even believe Sutton’s audacity to say even that. “Sutton, that is so far from the point. I know your father and I did our best to keep you and your siblings away from the grittiness of politics, but you cannot be so naïve when it comes to this.”

Hearing her mom call her naïve knocked Sutton back a step. Physically, she stumbled back, because it – it was searing.

“I’m not being naïve about this,” she defended, her tone low and steady, even as she felt her chest ache.

“It doesn’t matter if you two had a physical relationship at her apartment or not,” her mother dismissed, waving her hand. “It doesn’t matter if you two didn’t act on anything for months. All that matters, what it all boils down to, is that Charlotte Thompson is your boss. She’s an elected official. A closeted elected official, for that matter. And you’re her younger personal assistant.”

The way her mother delivered those words was like a slap in the face. The finality of it, offering no wiggle room.

But there was wiggle room. Because real life wasn’t so cut-and-dry, and, and Sutton needed her mom to understand.

Starting with, “Charlotte is only two and a half years older than I am; this isn’t some salacious story where I’ve been taken advantage of.”

Her mom tossed both of her hands into the air, in a manner that was so completely out of pocket for her. Well, when it came to Sutton. “It doesn’t matter. Do you hear what I’m saying? Have you, either of you, considered the consequences?”

“Yes, we have,” she shot back, her own patience being worn away, especially with all of the overwhelming, painful emotions battering through her.

Katherine narrowed her eyes in obvious disbelief. “Oh? Tell me, then, what your plans are. The contingency plans you have. The steps you’ll be taking to be protect your professional – and personal – reputation and dignity?”

“There’s not some sort of step-by-step guide for this, mom.” Her throat felt so tight, the words scratching painfully against her. “We’re going to work through it. And, obviously, we’re going to keep it quiet because – as you said – Charlotte’s not out.”

“And you will be her secret,” her mom stated, as if she was trying to impress that on Sutton. As if Sutton didn’t realize that already. “That… that is a horrible position to be in, Sutton. It’s a terrible position for someone who should respect you and be proud of you to put you in.”

As her mom’s words hung in the air between them, Sutton had to take a few seconds to compose herself. For the first time today, it wasn’t due to feeling anxious or concerned, but because she – she was angry.

It was such a rare emotion for her to feel aimed at her mom, she almost didn’t recognize it.

“Charlotte didn’t put me in any position.” Jesus fucking christ, the absolute wrong choice of words again. Somewhat luckily for Sutton, she was too agitated to let herself get tripped up over it. “Charlotte isn’t the one who pursued this; I am.”

The expression etched into her mom’s face was – she almost was looking at Sutton as if she were insane. “That’s irrelevant. And I believe you know that. Given the dynamics between you two, it doesn’t matter if you pursued her. Which… I cannot believe you would do. Regardless, it was Charlotte’s responsibility to put an end to it.”

“Well, those aren’t your decisions to make.” The strength in her words filtered through her veins, and that was really how Sutton could draw this confidence in the face of her mom’s disapproval. In the past, whenever she’d done something wrong – even if she hadn’t yet been able to admit it aloud – she always felt that discomfort in the pit of her stomach, the seed of doubt that made her question herself.

She didn’t feel it right now.

“This is my life, Mom. And I knew you wouldn’t be happy about this. Of course, I knew that. Which is why I didn’t tell you. But… I really, really wish you could step back from your knee-jerk reaction and really look at me. Really listen to me.” She could hear the pleading in her own voice.

But this was the root of it all. It ate her up inside that her mom couldn’t see past the negative parts – the optics of which Sutton was well aware of! – to see that Sutton had the potential to be really happy.  

For several long moments, her mom was silent, her lips pursed as she studied Sutton. Finally, she said quietly, “You’re right; this isn’t my decision to make. But I do truly hope you’ve thought about what could happen to you. Whatever happens to Charlotte’s career isn’t my concern,” she stated, dismissively. “But your life is. If things go badly, do you know how you could be viewed coming out of this? No one looks kindly on the younger woman embroiled in a political sexual scandal, Sutton. And that is the kind of thing that can follow you, for a very long time.”

She knew her mom wasn’t wrong, and she wouldn’t try to argue that. She understood. But…

“We aren’t a scandal. Because I–” Sutton caught her breath in her throat, and she braced herself for impact, as she told her mom, “I quit. So… I don’t work for Charlotte, anymore. We aren’t doing anything wrong.”

Her mother blinked back at her, lips parting in shock. “You – what? When? Just last night you were at dinner as her assistant. Nothing about this adds up at all.”

Stomach in knots, Sutton stared back at her, wondering desperately how honest she should be. But… they’d already been found out. It was a little too late to save face, wasn’t it? “I,” she had to stop, to clear her throat. “I put in notice two weeks ago, when it became clear that Charlotte and I were going to… see where this could go. Last night was my last work event.”

“I see.” Katherine’s jaw set in a firm line, the tension radiating from her. “And you were just going to let your father and I believe everything was normal? How long were you going to wait to tell us? What were you going to say? Would you have told us the truth?”

“I don’t know,” Sutton’s desperation jumped out, and her face felt hot, and her nerves were all twisted up. “Thinking about the logistics of telling my parents about my relationship status hasn’t been my number one concern.”

“The fact that you need to ‘think about logistics’ of how to tell anyone about your relationship status should tell you everything you need to know,” her mom murmured, beseechingly. That was the thing about it that now made Sutton feel worse. Her mom wasn’t yelling at her or snapping at her; she just sounded so…

Let down.

Sutton swallowed tightly. “Are you going to tell Dad?” She needed to know, to prepare herself for that conversation. “If you haven’t already.”

She… fuck, she couldn’t even imagine. Her father felt so strongly about the proper ethics in politics; there was a reason he didn’t have many close personal ties. Sutton genuinely loved that about him. But it didn’t bode very well for her right now.

And she felt like she’d swallowed dry ice, like it was eating through her veins with the burning chill, at the idea of her father knowing about Charlotte. He’d care less about her sexuality, but he would not approve of this.

“And yes, Mom – again, I’m very aware of how it sounds,” she pushed out, her words strained. “I know that you’re going to say that if I need to be concerned about you telling Dad about someone I’m involved with, perhaps I shouldn’t be involved with them.”

Her mom merely lifted her eyebrows, giving a slight nod of affirmation.

“But it’s too late for that,” Sutton finished, firmly. “It’s already happened. It’s already happening. I’m not naïve – at least, not enough to believe there couldn’t possibly be a falling out to this.”

Admittedly, she hadn’t thought much about it. She’d been so focused on wanting Charlotte and then being amazed and ecstatic that they could have a possibility, she hadn’t let herself get bogged down. Still, she knew. She understood that there could very well be consequences.

And no, it didn’t make her feel great. But what she’d told her mom was the truth: it was too late to stop this. She’d already slept with Charlotte, and she’d already quit.

She took a deep breath, fortifying herself, as she asserted, “And if there is a fall out, then that will be… awful,” she acknowledged. “But I can’t live my life based on something that might happen in the future. If it happens, though, I won’t regret this.”

Maybe it did make her sound naïve; she was positive her mom thought so. But there was so much value in being with someone who set her world on fire the way Charlotte did. It was as though Sutton was finally glimpsing at a new world she’d only been able to theorize about before. To play pretend in, with people who were bad actors.

 “For now,” her mother paused, tightly rolling her lips, before she released a sigh. “No. I’m not telling your father.”

Relief zipped through her so quickly, her knees felt weak from it. “That’s… thank you, Mom–”

But her mom held up her hand, swiftly cutting Sutton off. “It is not something I’m happy about, so don’t thank me. Being in a position of outright lying to your father, as he is no doubt going to be confused and concerned about why you spent the night here…” Katherine’s jaw twitched in a way Sutton recognized, but only directed at other people. “I don’t appreciate being put in a situation that necessitates this lie. But this also muddies professional waters, given your father and Charlotte’s professions, and I don’t want to have a hand in that, either.” She only paused a second, before she cautioned, “However. If this relationship with Charlotte continues, I will not continue to obfuscate the truth from him.”

Sutton heard the warning loud and clear, and… that… was fair.

“Mrs. Spencer,” Charlotte’s voice came from behind Sutton, and she startled at it, wondering when Charlotte had walked out from the bedroom. She was pretty sure, though, that Charlotte could have probably heard everything if she’d had her door cracked. “I just wanted to tell you that I really, truly care for Sutton. More than you could possibly know.”

“Yes, it is much more than I could possibly know, isn’t it?” Her mother’s voice went from the tone she’d been using with Sutton – disappointed, hurt, baffled – to downright frosty.

Even though it wasn’t directed at her, Sutton still felt a shiver down her spine.

Charlotte reached her side and didn’t seem to be deterred. She’d changed into a pair of wide-legged pants and a cute short-sleeved shirt, looking casual but not the way Sutton did. She’d clearly dressed with the plan in mind to come out here and have a real conversation with Katherine.

Charlotte kept her head held high, holding eye contact. “I know you’d said that you wanted to talk to Sutton alone, but she didn’t do this alone–”

“No, she certainly didn’t. But while Sutton is not faultless – you, Ms. Thompson, shoulder the majority of the blame. I was truly looking forward to meeting you this weekend, because I’d really thought you were a bright young woman with a good head on her shoulders. To say the reality didn’t align with what I’d been expecting from someone who purports to operate with ethics and transparency, would be a criminal understatement.” Katherine’s voice and the look in her eyes were laser-sharp. Exacting.

Sutton, herself, winced, even though the words weren’t directed at her. She’d only ever heard her mom sound even close to that when she’d  been addressing genuinely reprehensible people.

Her defenses flared, but before any words could escape her, Charlotte turned to meet her gaze and shook her head.

“I think,” Charlotte started, before she paused, and swallowed heavily. “That is fair feedback, given the circumstances.”

“No, it’s not,” the words burst from Sutton, as she looked between them, before landing solidly on her mom. “Is this an auspicious start for us? Of course not, and I’m not arguing that. But Charlotte and I don’t have a salacious age gap, we come from similar backgrounds, we’re both well-educated. There’s no actual power imbalance between us. To insinuate that Charlotte is some sort of predator is – is wrong,” she spluttered at the end, incensed at the very idea.

But it was wrong. It was quite literally factually incorrect.

And she was offended, on both her and Charlotte’s behalf. And she was sad. And embarrassed. And… and far too many other messy emotions floating around inside of her to properly dissect.

It seemed that her mom really registered that, as her voice somewhat gentled, but was still resolute as she said, “Honey, if you think any of those semantics will matter in a court of public opinion, you are going to be woefully mistaken.”

“I never said it would matter in a public opinion. I just want it to matter in your opinion,” she insisted, locking eyes with her mom. Searching.

She knew, on one level, that they were not going to reach a place of true understanding and agreement on this today. It was too fresh. Her mom, less than an hour ago, had seen Sutton in her boss’s sheet.

But she needed to have the possibility of finding a peaceful agreement in the future.

Her mom’s eyes, so much like her own, stared right back at her. Searching, it seemed, as well.

It was Charlotte who broke the tense quiet that settled over them, edging forward slightly. Angling herself, Sutton realized, to stand somewhat in front of her. Not necessarily between Sutton and Katherine but putting somewhat of a physical barrier up. “I do very much respect both you and your husband, Mrs. Spencer. Nothing I said to you has been anything less than the truth, though I do understand why you have doubts. So, for that, I’m very sorry that these are the circumstances we’re in.”

Whatever gentling Sutton might have heard or felt directed at herself completely disappeared, as her mom slid her gaze back to Charlotte. “As am I, Ms. Thompson.”

Sutton, for maybe the first time in her life, had no idea what to say to her mom. No idea what she could say short of telling her that she and Charlotte would end this, that she regretted it, that she’d been dumb and naïve that could seem to appeal to her mom.

Though Sutton had spent her entire life wanting her mom’s approval, eager to mimic her mother’s footsteps in so many ways, she found this was the line.

There was no part of her that was willing to even entertain the idea of ending this right now, right when she felt like she was on the cusp of falling into something bigger and better than she’d believed was realistically possible for her.

Her mom seemed to feel the same way, as she cleared her throat. “I think it’s time for me to go. Your father and I planned on heading home after brunch; this seems like a good time.”

Charlotte glanced at her, a question etched into her face. But it was a question Sutton didn’t know the answer to. Was Charlotte asking if she was okay? Asking if Sutton wanted to go with her mom? Asking if Sutton wanted Charlotte to find a way to talk her mom into staying?

Sutton only stared back at her, giving the only answer she could in a small shaking of her head.

There was nothing Charlotte could do.

With that, Charlotte turned back to look at her mom. “I appreciate, at the very least, your discretion.”

Sutton’s mother pursed her lips, humming in short response.

That seemed to inform Charlotte’s decision on not offering her hand, clearly reading – correctly, Sutton believed – that her mom likely wouldn’t take it. “Regardless of how this has shaken out, it was quite an experience to meet you.”

“Oh, likewise,” Katherine returned.

Charlotte’s expression was impassive as she returned her gaze to Sutton, lifting her eyebrows as she offered, “I’ll give you two a moment?”

Sutton’s lips ticked into a small smile at her thoughtfulness, at the fact that Charlotte was genuinely asking if Sutton would be all right having a moment alone with her mom before she left. If that was what Sutton wanted.

She nodded, and Charlotte went through the large doorway into the kitchen.

When she and her mother were alone again, time seemed frozen.  

Were – were they going to hug?

She realized, jarringly, that she’d never had a visit with her mom come to an end since she’d left home, and not hugged her. But with the way her mom was standing, seeming so off-kilter, she had a striking concern that it very well might happen.

Propelled forward by that, she jumped forward before her mom could take a step toward the door. “Mom – I… please, don’t be mad. Even though you aren’t happy, can you just tell me we’re going to be okay?”

Maybe it was silly? Maybe it was childish? But Sutton did need that confirmation before her mom left. Prior to this conversation, she’d never have believed anything would happen that would shake the foundation she had with her mother, but…

She was feeling very shaky.

After a beat, her mom’s face softened slightly. “I’m not mad. I told you: I’m disappointed.”

Sutton had heard those age-old adages: I’m not mad, I’m disappointed, and how it was always meant to be the worse punishment of the two. She’d never faced it before, though, and now she could absolutely confirm: it was worse.

“I also admit, I’m very hurt to know that you’ve kept so many things from me, like you quitting your job. And to compound it all, I would have never learned the truth about any of it had I not stumbled upon it myself this morning.”

Sutton could hear that, she could hear in her mother’s quiet confession that she was hurt. That Sutton had caused that hurt. And it felt like another stab right to the stomach.

“I didn’t do anything to hurt you, Mom. But I – I can’t make decisions in my romantic life based on how I think you’ll respond. What you’ve always wanted for me is to find someone who sparks my passion, who also treats me well.” God only knew Sutton had never found that combination in the past. “Someone who values my input, who respects me, who makes me feel good about myself. For the first time in my life, I think I’ve found that.”

“With Charlotte.” Her mom’s disbelief was unmistakable.

Sutton pushed through the way her hackles shot straight up in response to that tone. “Yes. With Charlotte. Someone who is brilliant and determined and, even though you don’t agree with it right now, someone who is so… good inside.”

They stared at one another, neither wavering. For the first time in her life, Sutton realized she and her mom were at a real impasse. They’d hit an obstacle that neither of them were willing to give in on.

“I hope I’ll still see you at your father’s sixtieth birthday party next month?” Her mom asked, when she’d undoubtedly came to the same conclusion Sutton had.

“Of course I’ll be there,” Sutton answered without a hesitation, frowning deeply. Why wouldn’t she go to the party?

Then again, she supposed that told her how out of sorts her mom must feel, too.

Katherine nodded, shortly. “Okay, good.”

With that, her mom stepped forward and pulled Sutton into a hug. One that she leaned into, immeasurably relieved, if only for a few brief moments.

Before her mom pulled back, she murmured, “And… sweetheart, you and I will always be okay.”

Sutton nodded, taking comfort in it, before their hug ended.

Her mom’s eyebrows furrowed softly, before she minutely shook her head. “Call me if you need anything. I love you.”

She knew she wasn’t imagining things when she heard her mom’s stress on need anything. Clearly still believing that this was going to catastrophically blow up. Sutton rolled her lips tightly for a moment, before responding, “I love you, too.”

With that, her mom turned and left.

And Sutton remained standing exactly in place for several more seconds. Trying to let the whirlwind of the morning sink in.

Or, maybe it had completely sank in?

Maybe that was why everything felt so… much.

Taking a long inhale, she held it in her lungs, and blew it out slow and measured. It had happened. It was over. However weird things were with her mom, however it made her feel, it was done.

What wasn’t done – what hadn’t even started – was working through whatever fallout it might cause with Charlotte.

And that, impossibly, made Sutton feel even more anxious and filled with dread than talking to her mother had.

She could hear Charlotte in the kitchen, she realized. There were cabinets being opened and closed, and things being put down on the counter?

Pressing her hands palm-down against her stomach, she willed her feet forward –

Then came to a sharp stop in the doorway.

“What are you doing?” She asked, utterly baffled.

There were mixing bowls out. Random ingredients.

If Charlotte was anyone else, Sutton wouldn’t necessarily question it. It was now after eleven in the morning; they hadn’t had anything to eat since dinner. A lot of people cooked or baked in times of stress.

But Charlotte didn’t cook or bake at any time.

In fact, “You don’t know how to cook,” she blurted out, her eyebrows lifted high on her forehead.

“I know. But for some reason, I have flour.” Charlotte gestured at the bag on the counter.

Sutton followed the motion, staring for several beats because she didn’t know what else to do. All she could think was that this was some sort of prelude to some sort of breakdown? Was that what this was?

And was it a reaction to Sutton’s mother?

Or had that caused something even deeper?

“Can you break up with me?” The question seemed to explode from deep within Sutton, before she could really even think it through.

Charlotte’s spine snapped into a rigid line, her mouth falling open. “Excuse me?”

“Not – I mean.” Frustration at herself worked through her, and she hit her palm against her forehead. “I meant, are we even in an official relationship? I just, I’m kind of – on the verge of spiraling, I think. I don’t know what we are. I don’t know how to define us. And it feels real and official to me, but I know things are so complicated, and it’s so early–”

“I think…” Charlotte cut in, cutting off her ramble, before the words seemed to freeze in her throat. Her voice sounded a little tighter than usual, almost like Charlotte was nervous when she continued, “I think it’s safe to say that I wouldn’t be risking anything for a woman that I wouldn’t label as my girlfriend.”

The warmth that shot through Sutton was like she’d swallowed a part of the sun. But, before she could lose herself in it, she shook her head. “I, um, still? After this morning? Even now that my mom knows, and everything she said?” She wanted desperately to walk closer to Charlotte, but found herself rooted to the spot. At least until she got this final confirmation. “Because I know this wasn’t part of any plan. And what she said, about how there could be serious, lasting consequences has lodged into the back of my mind. And when we went back into your room, things were – strange. You weren’t normal. And that’s okay,” she rushed to assure Charlotte, even though it didn’t feel okay.

Squeezing her eyes closed, she forced herself to slow the fuck down.

“I’m… I guess I’m just saying that… if you want to end this, I would understand. Because it’s all happening really quickly, now. The realness of it. But I’d rather you do it now, like, right away.”

She’d liken it to ripping off a band-aid, but that didn’t come close to how painful she thought it would be.

“I,” Charlotte paused, dragging her bottom lip in between her teeth. “Am not ‘breaking up’ with you. If I told you that I was unfazed by this morning, it would be a lie,” she acknowledged with a grimace, her voice sounding a little hoarse.

It was that more than anything that told Sutton just how affected Charlotte had been by her mother’s appearance this morning. She felt it all land heavily inside of her, but… she’d known it. She’d known that Charlotte had been reeling, so she couldn’t say this was a surprise.

“I don’t want to lie to you about it,” Charlotte continued. “So… yes, I needed to take a few minutes to reconcile everything. Reconcile that your mother, that Katherine Spencer knows… everything. Knows about my sexuality, knows that you and I are doing this, knows that this got started when I was your boss.” She paused, her lips pressing into a tight, thin line as her eyebrows furrowed, and none of this made Sutton feel at all settled, even though Charlotte had said she didn’t want to break up over this. “I have to reconcile that even though she’s someone I admire and respect, that she certainly doesn’t return that esteem. And that – well, that’s a difficult pill for me to swallow, if you can imagine.” She finished with a brittle, self-deprecating, and entirely too endearing smile.

But she was right; Sutton’s mother definitely didn’t feel the same respect or admiration for Charlotte. She could have – likely would have – had things gone differently.

Which propelled Sutton forward, because she still hated hearing the echo of what her mother had said to and implied about Charlotte. It still burned through her veins, feeling like an injustice. “She shouldn’t have said those things to you. It’s not–”

Charlotte shook her head, calmly and firmly holding Sutton’s gaze with her own. “While yes, I’d rather not have heard them, because I’d much prefer if your mother didn’t think so poorly of me… nothing she said was actually wrong, Sutton.”

“Yes, it was,” she pushed back, appalled.

“No, it wasn’t,” Charlotte’s insistence was gentle, but very obviously unswayable. “And I’m not saying this as something that has any bearing on our – our relationship,” Charlotte stumbled slightly, new to that word, seeming to taste it on her lips for a brief moment. “But I refuse to be someone who won’t take responsibility for my own actions.”

There it was, that passion in Charlotte’s tone that seemed so integral to who Charlotte was. It was one of the things that had driven Sutton to wanting to work with Charlotte in the first place. One of the things she’d taken note of during Charlotte’s election, something that had stayed with Sutton.

There was passion, and then there was Charlotte’s kind of passion. Sutton had realized that over the last several months of really knowing her. The passion that laced through Charlotte’s very being was so compelling because it was so clear that it wasn’t ever phoned in. Charlotte believed in everything she said, and it resonated through in her words.

More than all of Charlotte’s other appealing attributes – and there were many – that passion was… irresistible.

“Falling for you, while you were my assistant, wasn’t… it isn’t ethical.” Charlotte held both of her hands up, as though she were holding the scales of justice themselves. “And I do wish our circumstances were different. However, I made a choice. I’m choosing you. And I wouldn’t change it, even if we could rewind the clock.”

Charlotte rolled her shoulders back, scanning her eyes over Sutton’s face.

“I was your boss. I am a few years older than you are. And I am closeted. On paper, Sutton, none of that paints me in a positive light.” Charlotte sounded like she’d already accepted that. “As much as I cannot stand that it’s how your mother now sees me, I can’t argue it.”

“I can. And I will.”

Charlotte’s pained expression lightened, at least a little, colored with affection. “Some might say you’re a biased source.”

“And some might say I am in a unique position to see you clearly,” Sutton asserted, as she walked closer to Charlotte. She paused a couple of feet away from her, holding up one of her fingers as she started to list, “You’ve never had a romantic relationship before in your life. If this was a pattern of behavior for you, it would be a lot different.” She put up another finger, “If I didn’t have the privilege that I have in life financially?” And another. “If I actually wanted a career in politics? This would be different. But… that’s not how things are.”

Sutton felt like those were some highly convincing points to her side.

“If you strip away the details, then, fine. It looks terrible. But these details actually do matter. Even if they don’t matter to the way anyone else might see this, they very much matter to me.”

For several heart-pounding moments, Charlotte was silent. Before she released a long sigh, and a genuine smile, albeit small, tugged at her lips. “I must admit, I appreciate how you see this, darling. And the details – they matter to me, too. However. That doesn’t negate that there are consequences. And I have to accept them. Or I really am no better than what your mother things of me. Unfortunately, one of the consequences is that Katherine Spencer thinks I’m simply one in a long line of people in a position of power who can use it to get whatever I want.”

Sutton had to accept that. As much as she didn’t like it, Charlotte spoke the truth.

Shaking herself out of it before she started to go back over everything that had just played out with a fine-toothed comb – she’d save that for when she did a full download with Regan – she looked around, reminded that they were in the kitchen.

A place Charlotte rarely spent any time, if she wasn’t making coffee or putting something in the fridge or microwave.

“Um. So, what are you doing in here?”

Charlotte, too, only seemed to remember at the reminder that she’d been working on – well, whatever she’d been working on, as she looked back at the counter. “I’d assumed you would be in a not-so-pleasant headspace after everything with your mom.” She hesitated, and Sutton could tell that Charlotte was weighing whether or not she should say something. But it seemed she chose not to, as she continued in the same lighter tone, “So, I figured I’d give you something you’ve been teasing me about for months – I’ll let you give me a cooking lesson.”

Surprised, Sutton’s mouth fell open even as delight zipped through her. What a seriously welcome feeling after all of that. “Really?! You’ve been very staunchly against this,” she pointed out with a quiet snort of laughter.

Charlotte folded her arms over her chest, airily stating, “The only time we’d seriously spent anywhere that it would make sense to do that was my place in D.C. But, given work, we simply didn’t have the time.”

“Oh, that was why? Because of time?” She teased.

She’d gotten to know Charlotte enough that Charlotte’s reluctance to make a foray into cooking was multifaceted. First, she was a busy woman, and she would never want to prioritize her time cooking when she had the resources to avoid doing it. If Charlotte wasn’t working, she didn’t want to spend her precious downtime cooking. She’d rather garden or do a puzzle or read; something she actually found enjoyable.

Secondly, though, Sutton had gleaned that Charlotte really didn’t even know what she would consider basics in the kitchen. When she thought about Charlotte’s background, she supposed it made sense. Charlotte did not enjoy being a novice or feeling out of her depth. If she was going to tackle something with aplomb and teach herself from scratch, it was going to be something she wanted to do or something she thought was necessary.

“Mhmm,” Charlotte hummed back, noncommittally. “All about the timing.”

“Great. Because I have nothing but time. I’m actually unemployed right now.”

A surprised chortle escaped Charlotte in a way that was wholly undignified, and absolutely delightful. “Oh god, that had no right to be as funny as it was.”

Sutton loved when she took Charlotte by surprise, and she felt that pleasure bloom through her chest. Even so, she hesitated, before gesturing at the counter. “We don’t have to do this, though. I mean… it’s not like you’ve had a great time since we woke up, either. You don’t need to try to cheer me up.”

“I don’t need to,” Charlotte agreed. “I would like to, though. You’re right; today wasn’t quite what I’d imagined it would be from the start. But I think on a deeper level, this is going to be more emotionally difficult for you than it will be for me. Especially given that your mother has no intention of making this public.”

Right. That, fairly so, would be the worst thing for Charlotte.

And for Sutton… the worst thing was that look in her mom’s eyes when she’d stared at Sutton like she couldn’t fully recognize her.

That look so easily popped right back into her head, and she knew with sickening certainty that it would stay with her for a long time. A very long time; longer, most likely, than it would take for her and her mother to return back to a relationship that felt back to normal.

She bit at her lower lip, shaking her head, and the words slipped out of her in a whisper before she could think twice, “My mom has never been disappointed in me, before.”

Charlotte’s eyes went soft and a little sad. “Going for twenty-six years without disappointing your parents is quite a feat.”

Sutton hesitated, her heart pounding a little harder as she felt a bit of discomfort spiral through her. Her throat felt a little dry, but she pushed through it. Because she and Charlotte were in this, now. And she wanted Charlotte to really see her for everything she was, even the parts of herself she didn’t like to look back on.

“The truth is… I’ve never really been comfortable disclosing details about my romantic relationships to my mom,” she confessed, and it made her feel so – guilty. Not because she thought it was wrong to keep secrets from her parents; she was allowed her own life.

But, it went deeper than that.

Charlotte was quiet, her stare intent and obviously curious.

“I mean – like, never. And not just because my life is my own to lead, but… because I knew that I made decisions she’d never approve of. You already know about Kyle. But he wasn’t the only bad choice I made.”

It was humiliating to admit this aloud, to talk about it with anyone who wasn’t Regan. Regan, who would always be on her side, always support her. Even when she’d tell Sutton her honest opinions, Sutton never feared judgment from Regan. But admitting it to Charlotte was painful, because she wanted Charlotte to see her in a positive way.

She wanted Charlotte to respect her, to trust her, to believe in her.

But having someone respect and trust and believe in you if they didn’t know the whole of you wasn’t really authentic, was it?

“I thought you told your mom just about everything – other than the Kyle aspect when you were a teenager.” There was no judgment in Charlotte’s tone. At least, none Sutton could detect.

“I am close to her. Which is why it… makes me feel awful inside when I think about it. About the things I hid from her, about Kyle. About Joshua. The thing is that I really have always cared – very much – about what my mom thinks–” Her breath hitched in her throat at how their relationship stood right now. “And I never wanted her to know what I was doing because I knew she would never be okay with it. I knew, deep down, that the thoughts and opinions she would have weren’t incorrect. And I also knew I’d never be able to look her in the eye and defend why I was doing such stupid things.”

And they had been stupid. When she looked at her past self, she could see it so clearly. Even when she’d been in the thick of it, she’d known it was dumb to stay.

Not going down that rabbit hole, not here and not now, she closed her eyes and re-centered herself.

And she’d never felt more sure, more confident in her own decisions than she did when she opened her eyes again, and landed her gaze on Charlotte’s face.

“Frankly, though, a benefit of my past is playing out right now. Because I don’t feel ashamed, not about you and not about us. I always did, before. Because, like I said, I knew.”

Sutton knew herself, and she knew that she’d have never been able to look her mom in the eye and defend this if she believed it was wrong.

“For once, my not telling my parents about a relationship wasn’t because I was trying to hide anything about you, as a person. I don’t have any shame or guilt in being with you. And I hope it’s the same for you. I underst–”

Sutton’s words were cut off, falling right back down her throat, as she felt Charlotte’s lips on hers.

Charlotte’s arms slid around her waist, gently shifting Sutton so their bodies aligned in that unbelievably perfect way.

She hummed into Charlotte’s mouth, their kiss deepening as she felt Charlotte’s tongue along her own.

How was it possible to feel this way, she wondered. How was it even possible to feel calmed by someone’s kiss – like this deep, intrinsic peace – while also feeling like it made her blood start to buzz in her veins, like the temperature had been turned up around them.

How was it possible?

Charlotte leaned back, then pressed another fleeting, soft kiss to her lips, before actually pulling away.

“I don’t feel guilt about this, either. Perhaps I should,” Charlotte acknowledged, quietly. “But… I don’t. The only thing I feel guilty about is wondering how in the world I have flour in my cabinet that expired two years ago. I didn’t even know flour expired?”

Sutton went from soft and tingly, to unable to suppress her laughter in a split-second.

“Most damningly,” Charlotte pressed on over her laughter. “I truly don’t know where it came from. When would I have ever purchased that bag of flour?!”

Sutton laughed even harder at Charlotte’s genuinely baffled and aggrieved tone, and while the amusement didn’t make it easier to process and accept the state of her relationship with her mom right now, it crystallized the reality for Sutton:

She would not be ending this relationship of her own volition, not any time soon. If there were consequences, to Sutton? They were worth this.

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(and yes - Katherine (and Jack, remotely) had no problems using political and social power to get access to the building)

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