Guilty as Sin - Ch. 24 (Patreon)

Sorry for the late hour!

But some things can only be done as big screen business, and posting is one of them :)

Chapter Twenty-Four

The week after the surprise visit from Katherine Spencer had not been kind to Charlotte.

It was one thing to be in a little bubble with Sutton. The two of them together in her apartment while Sutton attempted to teach her how to cook was… idyllic. It was almost like Charlotte’s birthday weekend.

When she had Sutton with her and she shut out everything else, when she was simply able to be, to exist in Sutton’s sphere – it was like a special brand of euphoria. If Charlotte could bottle the feeling Sutton brought out in her in those moments, she’d be able to make a fortune.

… admittedly, she didn’t need a fortune, and it wasn’t exactly why she was in politics.

But it was the strangest, most intoxicating sensation of peace and excitement and arousal and calm. Like she was buzzing all over, but she was also soothed.

This past week had served to remind her that the Real World still existed.

She’d had to travel to D.C. for most of the week, and… well, she felt naïve. Which, for the record, she absolutely detested. Because she hadn’t let herself really think about what it was going to be like without Sutton, now that she’d gotten so used to her.

But she was used to her.

She was – ugh, she refused to say “reliant” because… no. No, no. Charlotte was not ready to go near that word. Not only because it made her feel uncomfortable, but because it simply wasn’t true. She could still do her job without Sutton.

Her days were just worse, now. And this week was a swift reality check on that front.

She’d stopped herself from thinking about it too much, during that whole two weeks’ notice phase. She hadn’t wanted to linger on it, on what it meant that Sutton would be leaving; she’d simply needed to grit her teeth and get through it.

But now she’d experienced it for a week, and it – for lack of a better, more eloquent and dignified word – sucked.

Not only was Sutton not there to keep her company, which Charlotte missed most of all. Her quiet humor and her commentary and her jokes, the ease that her presence gave Charlotte.

But she’d somehow forgotten what it had been like, not having Sutton with her for work. Sutton had taken over all of her organization, she’d streamlined all of Charlotte’s communications, she’d always known exactly who Charlotte was going to call, text, email, or meet with, and it was as though she’d been able to read Charlotte’s mind.

They’d become so in sync when it came to work, Sutton functioning so well at her side, it had become so instinctive. Like they’d always been that way.

A week without Sutton had reminded her precisely why she’d hired Sutton in the first place. Because Charlotte couldn’t juggle everything effectively on her own. And now, she had to hire someone else she could learn to trust. Not quite a simple task.

And taking away the work complications of it all, then came the personal.

She’d been away from Sutton for a week, and she’d longed for her. Yearned for her. To the point that it was terrifying, and Charlotte… she had no idea what to do with that.

Yes, they were dating – or, in a relationship, she supposed. It was official, and all.

That was already a bigger step than Charlotte had ever taken before in her entire life. With anyone. Ever.

She’d been nervous about it, but she’d pushed herself to not be a fucking coward. To accept that she wanted to explore this with Sutton. Explore these… feelings, no matter how scary they were. No matter how nerve-wracking it was to think about how this could interfere with her future.

But now it felt like there was more pressure. Pressure she didn’t quite know how to handle.

Sutton was essentially barely speaking to her mother over this. Sutton’s mom – Charlotte refused to think about the Katherine Spencer of it all; it was simpler to think of her merely as Sutton’s mother at this moment – was disappointed in her, because of them.

Being with Charlotte caused a fracture in one of the most important relationships in Sutton’s life, and… Sutton had stuck by her guns. She’d been determined to stick up for Charlotte, for them.

Did that count as Sutton choosing her over her mom? Because that felt like A LOT, and it made Charlotte’s stomach erupt in butterflies at Sutton’s somehow but surprising and not surprising backbone.

In the last week, as she’d had space to think about the situation – perhaps too much space to think – it also made Charlotte’s heart pound as an anxiety she’d never really felt before slithered through her veins. What expectations did this put on her? On this relationship?

Unfortunately, Charlotte had not only been out of the city for most of the week and incredibly busy, especially given that she was now down a personal assistant, but Sutton had also been incredibly busy. Because now she was out of a job, and she’d been applying like it was going out of style.

Because, as if this situation needed any more outside pressure pressing down on it, now Sutton not only was barely on talking terms with her mom over this relationship, but she’d had to leave her job for it, too!

When Charlotte thought about it too much and for too long over the last few days, she started feeling uncharacteristically nervous.

She normally knew how to control a situation. She could normally chart a path forward, even when it had come to Sutton. But what was she supposed to do, here? She couldn’t do anything to help Sutton with her mom; unfortunately, her presence had only seemed to worsen the situation with Katherine. And she couldn’t do anything to help Sutton financially, either.

She was reasonably certain the Spencers wouldn’t totally cut Sutton off… but she wasn’t positive. Obviously, she didn’t know them very well.

They hadn’t had much time to talk, either. They’d texted here and there, and had one phone call on Wednesday night.

Unfortunately, the scandal and biggest topic of conversation that had broken on the Hill this week had been centered around Senator Perkins, and the outing of his affair with his assistant.

The situations were wildly different – Perkins was fifty-seven, he was married, and she still worked for him.

And yet, Charlotte’s stomach had been tied into knots every time someone brought it up to her. Her inclination wasn’t to join in on the gossip, but she’d already built up having a reputation for having disdain for someone in Perkins’ position.

She knew she wasn’t married, she knew she and Sutton didn’t have a power-imbalanced age gap, she knew Sutton no longer worked for her. But she also knew how it would look to everyone. How close she and Sutton had been, even though it really hadn’t been salacious, even though they hadn’t been sleeping together.

Let alone the queerness of it all.

It had been… a lot.

This week had been a lot.

And she’d yet to see Sutton, or have a real conversation with her.

On top of all of that, as if it weren’t enough, what the hell was she supposed to do with the series of text messages she’d received just before sitting down to have lunch with Caleb:

Regan Gallagher – 12:02P.M.Heyo!!!

Thanks for letting Sutton give me your number. It was a good call

Totally random thought just for fun – let’s do a double date tonight! You come over to our place, we’ll hang out

Unless you want us to come over to your place

I’m flexible

Charlotte flinched as a little piece of a torn up napkin hit her in the cheek, jarred back into the moment.

Her brother stared at her, eyes glinting as he wiggled his eyebrows and gestured at her phone. “What in the world has you so captivated over there? Where are your manners, hmm? Your brother braved the airport to pick you up and then stopped to grab us lunch, all so that we can eat in the glamorous atmosphere of your office… and you ignore him?”

Charlotte rolled her eyes, even though everything he said was technically fact. “Yes, you’re very courageous, Caleb.”

“Thank you. Now, what the hell is going on with you? I feel like ever since your birthday you’ve been so cagey,” he accused – again, not falsely – as he drank his iced tea and stared her down over the rim of his cup. “It’s been almost a month, and I’ve barely seen you. You don’t call, you don’t write.”

Charlotte glanced down at her phone, distracted again when she saw that Sutton had messaged her.

As discreetly as she could, mostly to avoid another callout from Caleb of all people, she checked it while taking a bite of her own artisanal sandwich – she’d give it to her brother; the sandwich place he’d insisted on picking up food from was great – to give a reason for her delay in responding.

Sutton Spencer – 12:14P.M.I’m so sorry about Regan. She did NOT ask me before inviting you over for a “group thing”

You don’t have to agree. Seriously

I just want to see you tonight. Your choice on where or if anyone else is invited

What, exactly, was Charlotte’s duty here?

She didn’t particularly have a burning desire to spend time with Regan. In fact, nearly every story she’d heard about the woman made Charlotte want to maintain a boundary.

But she was Sutton’s best friend and roommate. And Charlotte was… well, she was now Sutton’s girlfriend. What the hell went along with being a girlfriend? What kind of obligations were included in that?

Charlotte hated not being good at something. Last weekend, when she’d shown up for Sutton after the fallout with Katherine, it had been easy. They were in the bubble. Sutton was upset. Charlotte figured out how to make it temporarily better.

But she didn’t know how to be a fucking girlfriend, or what that entailed! And she hadn’t exactly been eased into it.

Dean and Caleb weren’t a great case study for her, because she knew and loved Dean independently from his relationship with Caleb. There was no sense of obligation there.

Blowing out a sigh, she shook her hair back and asked, “What was it like when you met Dean’s parents?”

She knew Caleb had met them a handful of times, and that it had generally gone well. But Dean’s parents no longer lived in the city, so there wasn’t much crossover. Lucky.

“Huh?” Caleb asked, scrunching up his face in confusion.

“Dean’s parents,” she repeated. “How was it when you met them?”

“It went great. I mean, they’re living their best life in the Keys, but they know how to throw a party in their retirement community with the best of them.” Caleb did a little shoulder shimmy. “As you know, I really won them over with my limbo prowess.”

Charlotte hummed thoughtfully, unable to help the dash of irritation. Of course, Caleb got to meet Dean’s parents, who were incredibly laidback and loved to party in their retirement community.

Caleb continued to stare at her, clearly desiring answers. “Why are you asking? We barely discussed in detail when I actually met them.”

Charlotte flicked her eyes over to her office door to ensure it was solidly closed and that no one was lingering outside. Her Friday afternoon, post lunch with her brother, would be very busy, and she hadn’t had the time to go out with him after she’d gotten back from D.C.

Plus… she hadn’t wanted to tell him this news in a public place.

Caleb really couldn’t care less about the pragmatics. Sometimes that was irritating, but sometimes it was… well, freeing for Charlotte, in a way. It historically made him an easy person to talk to, especially about meaningless personal life anecdotes. Somehow, though, it made this conversation feel even bigger, because it was the opposite of meaningless.

Bracing herself for his inevitable reaction, she ripped off the Band-Aid. “Because I’m dating Sutton. Yes, Sutton Spencer, my ex-assistant, as I’m sure you noticed she is no longer working here–”

“I thought she was just on lunch break! How long has this been happening?!”

“Keep you voice down, Caleb, my god,” she hissed, grabbing the little piece of the napkin he’d tossed at her, returning it to him. It bounced off his cheek but he didn’t even blink, seeming to not even notice. “We hooked up on my birthday–”

“You were at the cabin on your birthday!” His eyes widened, before he eagerly leaned forward over her desk. As much as he could be while sitting, anyway. “You planned a sex trip for your birthday with your assistant. I knew you two had a thing. Damn. You liar.”

“We did not. And I certainly didn’t plan it.” If Charlotte’s own brother didn’t believe the timeline – which was the truth – why would anyone else?

Before she let herself go down that road, she refocused, “Do you want to interrupt or do you want me to tell you what’s been going on?”

“Both, ideally.”

“Okay, enjoy the rest of your lunch before you leave with no other details.”

“Damn, Charlie, you drive a hard bargain.” He held up his hands. “Please, tell me everything.”

Charlotte’s eye twitched in disdain at the nickname, but she didn’t address it. Sometimes, with Caleb, it was better not to. “She came up to the cabin – unplanned. We… hooked up.”

Saying that felt wrong. Because it had been so much more than a hookup. It had felt revelatory in comparison to the many hookups Charlotte had experienced in her life. She’d unlocked something inside of herself, had a taste of something greater, and she didn’t want to go back to life without it.

Shaking her head slightly, she pushed on. “And we decided to continue dating.” She took a deep breath. “Unfortunately – and I am not going into detail – her mother found out, and things… spiraled. Now, Sutton’s not on great terms with her mom, she’s not working for me and thus is not employed at all, and it’s all… a lot, all at once.”

“Wooow,” he drew out, falling back in his chair. “No wonder you haven’t had time for a hang out with your favorite brother.”

She hummed.

“Why wouldn’t her mom like you? You’re gorgeous–”

“I’m not sure that’s something my girlfriend’s parents care too much about,” she dryly cut in.

Caleb seemed cut off at the knees, blinking at her. “Girlfriend. Girlfriend?!”

“I just told you we’re together, why are you repeating that?” It made Charlotte’s stomach flutter in a way that was entire too pleasant. Unsettlingly so. Also intertwined with that sharp bite of nerves.

“You laid a lot on me here. Look, I never thought I’d ever hear you refer to someone as a girlfriend; definitely not for at least another ten years or so. And it’s Sutton.” He sighed out her name, giving her a look that was both teasing and soft.

“Yes, it’s Sutton.” It could only be Sutton. Who else could possibly have burrowed into Charlotte’s life like this?

“Back to her parents – well, her mom. You’re smart, you’re super ambitious, you’re a Thompson for Christ’s sake.”

She stared back at him, her lips tugging into a frown. “I don’t think anything related to our family name or my career aspirations is winning me any favor with Katherine Spencer.”

In fact, she winced, she very much knew the opposite was true.

“Does she have a trust fund?” Caleb asked, leaning forward again, reaching for his salad. Nothing fazed Caleb for very long.

Charlotte merely stared back at him. “I don’t know…?”

He shrugged, taking a massive mouthful of his chicken Caesar salad that made her grimace, and he barely swallowed before continuing, “The Spencer family has money.”

“I’m aware,” she drawled, barely holding back from rolling her eyes.

“Okay cranky pants, I’m just saying you could probably extrapolate some similarities to our family, right? We have trust funds, so I figure she probably does, too. To fall back on while not working.”

“Well, I think you may be a little misguided. There are similarities, yes, but Sutton’s parents…” She rolled her lips into a tight line. “They’re different than ours.”

Charlotte’s parents had often showered them in money and gifts, as if that made up for them not being around. Something she’d only just started to think about because of Sutton, because of seeing the closeness Sutton had with her parents. How her parents both – individually and as a unit – would call her to check in, texted her regularly just to chat. How her parents not only made time to see Sutton every time they traveled to New York, but would make extra trips here just for the purpose of seeing her.

Even with the blowout with Katherine last week, there was a tangible difference between that and Charlotte and Caleb’s parents.

Caleb tilted his head in silent question.

She waved her hand, explaining, “They do family holidays together, and they have a big group text where everyone chats literally every day, and while they have financially supported her through getting her degrees, there’s an expectation that either she’s in school or she’s working to support herself. They have money, but I don’t really think Sutton and her siblings have indiscriminate access the way you and I do.”

At least, she didn’t think so. Sutton never made it seem like that.

Should she know that about Sutton? Given that they were in a relationship?

“Weird,” was all Caleb had to say about that.

Laughter bubbled up from deep inside of her, because – agreed. She couldn’t imagine having the kind of family bonds Sutton did.

“And now her best friend wants to hang out together tonight. Which… is…” She trailed off, frowning because she had no clue how to describe it.

She had no frame of reference for this sort of thing.

“I hate to tell you, but if you’re in a relationship – yeah, that’s not going to get old any time soon – getting to know the family or friends is a part of that.”

“I’m not completely naïve; I’m aware of that.”

But, if she was honest with herself, she’d thought that there’d be weeks – maybe months? – of being in the bubble with Sutton before working through things like family and friends.

And while there were a lot of variables, and Charlotte – being honest with herself – wasn’t fully confident in herself as a girlfriend or in this situation. But she knew that she didn’t want to let Sutton down or disappoint her, and that feeling was so strong. Like the idea of it made her feel ill.

So…

Charlotte Thompson – 12:25P.M.I really want to see you, too

I’ll come over

***

Sutton – and Regan’s – apartment door opened for her before she could even knock. Before she could even lift her fist to knock. And really, that felt like exactly what Charlotte anticipated.

Which was great; she loved being able to predict outcomes. Happened far too rarely lately.

“Well, don’t just stand there like an apartment voyeur; get in here,” Regan opened the door wider for her.

The gleam in her eyes was unsettling, but Charlotte entered the apartment anyway. “Apartment voyeur?” She echoed, arching Regan a look.

Regan waved her off, closing the door behind her. “You know, someone who stands at the doorway and stares inside.”

“I’m not convinced that’s going to catch on.”

“Me, neither,” a woman agreed, as Charlotte walked into the living room. Tall and full-figured, Charlotte would have known she was Emma regardless of the night she’d unintentionally met her at the café.

“Neither of you are engaging in your creativity, I see. But I hope that’s going to change, if we’re going to do a game night.”

A game night? Charlotte wasn’t sure when she’d agreed to that.

She arched Regan a look, before turning to Emma, offering her a hand. “It’s nice to meet you, officially.”

Emma shook her hand, a brief, firm contact. Respectable. “You, too.”

There was a slight blush on her cheeks, presumably from Charlotte mentioning the night she and Sutton had accidentally discovered them.

“Officially, because of the night you and Sutton basically walked in on us hooking up at the café, right?” Regan cut in.

The color on Emma’s face darkened, as Charlotte couldn’t contain a quiet laugh. “That is what I was referring to, yes.”

“And it’s always a dream to have your closest friend and her boss walk in on you while you’re hooking up somewhere you shouldn’t be doing it,” Emma tightly added.

“We weren’t doing anything wrong; everything was properly sanitized after, jeez,” Regan declared, before standing a little too close to Charlotte. Not necessarily inappropriately, but definitely with a lack of boundaries. “Charlotte, I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

Charlotte slowly lifted her eyebrows in question. “You and I have met before, if you recall?”

“How could I forget?” Regan shook her head, releasing a sigh as she looked around the apartment. “I remember it like it was yesterday. You, picking up Sutton for an evening out.” Regan cut her a look that belayed the fact that she was having far too much fun with this. “For work.”

“Regan, you’re scaring her,” Emma cut in, giving her girlfriend a look that spoke volumes to Charlotte.

That look clearly said we talked about this.

“I’m not scared, but perhaps mildly alarmed,” Charlotte joked-but-not-really.

Perhaps the most alarming thing was how Emma – who Sutton had always described as level-headed – was looking at Regan with such affection. That was the thing about love that had always both baffled and petrified Charlotte; it made you do crazy things.

Regan waved both of her hands through the air. “Yes, I know that we’ve met before. But this is different. You’re Sutton’s girlfriend now.”

It wasn’t as though that word scared Charlotte. In fact, it made a warmth dart through her. Something both comforting and tingling that landed right in her chest. But it felt so – intense. Especially being delivered by Sutton’s Regan.

She’d already been the catalyst for Sutton’s relationship with her mom being put on thin ice; what happened if something happened to cause friction with Regan?

Charlotte hadn’t ever been someone with these kind of doubts before, but she’d never cared about someone the way she cared about Sutton before.

“Where is Sutton?” She asked, glancing around.

The living room and kitchen weren’t fully open, but they were adjoined, and Sutton was nowhere to be seen. And Charlotte couldn’t believe Sutton wouldn’t be home when their plans were happening; she wouldn’t throw Charlotte to the wolves.

Admittedly, Charlotte had arrived over ten minutes early.

“She’s in the bathroom. Super annoying – the boiler had an issue this morning. Old buildings, am I right? Anyway, none of us were able to shower until it got fixed, like an hour ago. And,” Regan leaned in conspiratorially, “Emma and I needed to shower first, you know?”

Emma shook her head, reaching up and gently placing her hand over Regan’s mouth. “Oh my god.”

Regan placed an audible smacking kiss against Emma’s palm, before she spoke around her, “What? Charlotte knows we have sex.” She aimed a sparkling smile – one that, Charlotte could admit, was oddly charming – at Emma, before she looked back to Charlotte. “Besides, Sutton had that phone interview with SapphicSpark at the last-minute. As soon as it ended and we were done in the bathroom, she hopped in the shower. I mean, I think she’s probably done – she was blow-drying her hair a minute ago. Should be out any second now.”

Charlotte swore she heard a record scratch in her head. “Interview with SapphicSpark?”

Regan nodded eagerly. “Yeah! She ran into… shit, what’s her name?” Regan glanced at Emma, obviously believing Emma would help her place the person she’d forgotten.

“Alia Haddad?” Charlotte supplied, as she vividly recalled the name. And the woman. And the way she’d looked at Sutton.

Regan snapped her fingers. “Yes! That’s her. They bumped into one another when Sutton stopped in to get a smoothie after one of her runs; she went into a café that’s near the SapphicSpark headquarters. How’s that for good luck?”

“Good luck,” Charlotte echoed softly, her blood thrumming through her veins faster, hotter. “You know, I’m going to see Sutton.”

Regan held her hands up, leaning into Emma. “Right, good, go take a few. It’s been a long week.”

“Mhmm,” she hummed back, before making her way swiftly down the hallway. The apartment wasn’t large; it would be impossible to get lost in here. And she’d used the bathroom the one time she’d been in here before. She tapped her knuckles against the door.

And heard the blow-dryer switch off from inside, before Sutton said, “Is Charlotte here?”

“I am,” she answered.

And within a second, the door swung open.

Sutton, in her cream-colored sweater that was tucked into a high-waisted skirt, with her cheeks flushed from the heat of the blow-dryer, and her red hair like a silky waterfall over her shoulder was a vision. Charlotte drank her in like she was a woman starved.

She hadn’t been so long without seeing Sutton since they’d met. And that realization only really hit her now, even after having missed her all week.

“Charlotte,” Sutton breathed out, her lips twitching into a smile. “I didn’t – you’re early.”

“I do strive for punctuality.” She tilted her chin up, nodding past Sutton. “Can I come in?”

Mostly because she was all too aware that Regan and Emma were less than twenty feet away, and she’d like a moment of privacy with Sutton. She found, acutely, that she needed it right now.

Sutton’s eyebrows lifted. “Oh.” She glanced over her shoulder into the small bathroom, but shrugged, and stepped back. “Sure. Of course.”

Charlotte didn’t care about the limited space. In fact, being this close to Sutton and being able to breathe her in was so – she didn’t even know how to describe it. How to make sense of this feeling that overtook her when she was close.

The bathroom wasn’t spacious; with the way they were standing and facing one another with only a little bit of breathing room, Charlotte had only inches between her back and the wall, and Sutton’s ass was likely brushing against the lip of the sink behind her.

“Do you have a trust fund?” She found herself asking.

Obviously surprising Sutton, who blinked at her a few times. “What?”

“And – and how serious is this? Because I have to tell you, Sutton, I’m… fuck. I’m nervous.” And she hated it, but she also didn’t know what else to do with the truth other than say it to Sutton’s face so she knew. “We went from exploring our feelings and keeping this low-key to your mom finding out and everything feeling very – very, serious, all at once. I don’t know what I can offer you, and I am concerned I’m going to mess up your life in some way.”

She swallowed heavily, reaching up and dragging her hands through her hair. October was nearly upon them, and the weather had cooled significantly, but Charlotte felt suddenly very hot in here.

“Are you freaking out right now?” Sutton asked.

“No. Because I don’t freak out; that’s absurd,” she dismissed, distaste coating the back of her mouth at even repeating the notion.

A sweet, soft smile that was far too beautiful played on Sutton’s lips, even as a look that could only count as mystified swept over her face. “I’ve never seen you panic.”

“I am not panicking,” she denied with a scoff, jutting her chin out. “I’m merely being realistic about a stressful situation that has a lot of unknowns.”

Some of that amusement faded from Sutton’s face, melting into concern.

“Charlotte, I… I get it. I get that this feels really serious, in ways we didn’t think it would.” With a deep breath, Sutton fell back against the sink, leaning against it heavily. “I didn’t think I was going to be in this weird place with my parents. Well, my mom. But I feel like I’m also in a weird place with my dad, too, because – because now I asked my mom not to tell him about us, and I know that makes her feel like she’s actively lying to him. And I’m trying to firm some things up about that new job, or else I really might end up working at the café with Regan, and I don’t think that would be a great fit.”

She scoffed, unable to imagine it. Even if the image of Sutton working there, wearing one of the aprons and visors was actually a very cute image.

Sutton’s expression gentled as she gave Charlotte such a knowing look. “I also saw everything regarding Senator Perkins this week.”

Of course she had, and of course Sutton had extrapolated that to Charlotte’s feelings. Because she was Sutton.

Her stomach clenched. “Yes, that’s been… something.”

“Senator Perkins is married, though. And way older.”

“And even though both of those facts are true, the fact that we’re both women is going to make it a million times more scandalous,” Charlotte cut in, her throat feeling thick with that swell of anxiety that she’d done her best to push away all week. “By the time I go back to D.C. next week, people are going to already be moving onto something new. But if it was about you and I…”

She trailed off, tightly pursing her lips as she leaned heavily against the wall.

“It won’t die down so easily,” Sutton finished, quietly.

Charlotte shook her head in confirmation.

“So…” Sutton trailed off, digging her teeth into her bottom lip as she ran her eyes over Charlotte’s face. “Do you still want to do this?”

Charlotte hesitated for just a second, her heart skipping a beat in her chest. Because there was the voice in her that was fucking terrified of this, of the unknown, of taking a risk. But she was locked onto Sutton’s gaze, onto those wide, blue eyes, and she felt that flutter in her chest that was already addictive, and she wasn’t willing to give it up.

“I do,” she murmured, her voice thick. “I’m simply trying to be honest. To be… vulnerable.” She didn’t even like saying that word aloud. “Which is far from instinctive for me.”

“I know,” Sutton was so fucking sweet, and she swayed a little closer. “And I find it really attractive.”

A heat – decidedly unexpected, but definitely not unwelcome – worked its way through Charlotte. Sutton found her being uncertain attractive? It seemed ridiculous to Charlotte, because she was fairly certain that being in control of situations was something most women historically found the most desirable about her. “Do you?”

“Yes,” Sutton answered, her voice a little hoarse, and clearly earnest. “Very. Especially after a whole week of not seeing you. Which has felt like forever, if you want some honesty from me.”

It was a relief, truly, to know she wasn’t alone in this. “Then you’ll love when I say this…” She hesitated, just for a second, before she confessed, “I don’t want to ruin your life, Sutton.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s possible,” Sutton murmured. Her tone was so soft, but there was steel underneath. “Unless everything I know about you is a lie, and you’re actually a complete psycho, you couldn’t possibly ruin my life.”

“I could… do some damage.” She already had. Charlotte shook her head, reaching up and rubbing at her temples. “I’m sorry; I think your mother’s comments played a lot more into my psyche than I imagined they would while we were apart this week.”

“I love my mother. And I respect her. And I usually think she has a good perspective. But she’s wrong. About you, about us – she’s wrong.” Sutton didn’t seem to have any qualms about that. “And I stand behind what I said to her: I’m an adult. I realize that it might make you feel like there’s more pressure on us because of that, but there’s not,” Sutton’s words sounded like a pledge, one with a tone that bordered on desperate cutting through. “Seeing what you and I can be together is my choice.” She could see how tight Sutton’s throat was when she swallowed, her eyes boring into Charlotte’s. “And things are looking up, on the job front.”

Just like that, Charlotte was shoved from that vulnerable, emotional place into one far sharper. Something that had teeth, the jealousy coursing through her. “Right. Regan mentioned something about that.”

Sutton nodded, clearly excited. “Yes, so apparently SapphicSpark is building a new, small content strategy team. They’re looking for young professionals,” Sutton leaned back, using both of her hands to gesture at herself in the most adorable fucking way, “Ideal candidates would have a creative background, working on new prompts, campaigns, profile guides…”

That did sound like something Sutton could thrive in, and Charlotte wanted that for her. From the most unselfish parts of her heart, she wanted that for Sutton.

“That sounds incredible.” And yet, she couldn’t quite rid herself from that sharpness clawing around her throat. “And why didn’t you tell me about this whole thing with Alia when you ran into her?”

“Because you were busy, and I knew I was going to see you tonight. It’s not like I have the job yet,” Sutton explained, slowly tilting her head as she searched Charlotte’s expression. “I wasn’t hiding it from you or anything.”

God, did Charlotte look as crazy as she felt right now? She reached up and scrubbed a hand over her face, working diligently to school her expression back to something sane. “I didn’t think you were hiding something,” she stated in apology. “I trust you.”

And she did. No way in hell would she be on this journey with someone she didn’t trust implicitly. She trusted Sutton in ways she’d never trusted anyone else, ever.

But Charlotte did remember Alia. So very clearly.

Gorgeous and flirty and had eyes only for Sutton. She’d told Sutton to use her number any time. She’d slid her fingertips over the back of Sutton’s hand in what could only be described as a caress.

Sutton wasn’t supposed to have been anything more than an assistant to Charlotte back then, but obviously she was because Charlotte remembered this interaction far clearer than she remembered some of her meetings from this past fucking week.

Sutton’s gaze was trained on her, seeing far too much. Charlotte could see the moment the realization hit Sutton in the way her blue eyes widened, an awed expression working over her face. “Are you jealous? Of Alia?”

Charlotte wanted to be offended at the claim. She deeply wanted to tell Sutton of course not, and the words were right there. On the tip of her tongue. Instinctive, she realized just before she spoke them aloud. Because for months, she wasn’t allowed to be jealous.

But now… she was. Now, she was able to give this living, breathing green-eyed monster inside of her, a creature she’d never known before Sutton, a voice.

“Perhaps I am. Because, darling, I have eyes, and I saw the way she looked at you the night I met her.”

There was a flush on Sutton’s cheeks, but she didn’t try to argue with Charlotte, didn’t try to insist that Alia hadn’t been flirting with her that night. Granted, Charlotte believed that was the way most queer women would look at Sutton. Hell, Charlotte had from far too early on.

“I was so worried that night, that you were going to charge over to Alia and try to defend my honor,” Sutton whispered, breathing out a laugh. “I–”

Sutton cut herself off so abruptly, she sounded like she choked on her very words.

Charlotte felt concern, sharp and hot, slashing through her as she ran her eyes over Sutton, trying to assess what had happened to her. “What’s wrong?!”

Sutton’s soft lips were parted in an O, as she blinked at Charlotte. “You… were – you were jealous that night at the event. Months ago. Like. Before you even knew I was queer, because I came out to you right after that.”

Charlotte kissed her. Surging forward, she pushed onto her tiptoes and captured Sutton’s mouth with hers. A quiet, needy moan escaped her at the very contact, and maybe that should have embarrassed her.

It would, probably, if this was anyone else. If this was any other woman she’d ever been with.

But it wasn’t. And Sutton returned that sound, her own soft moan vibrating into Charlotte’s mouth as she slid her tongue along Sutton’s.

The strength with which she desired Sutton was terrifying. It should terrify her, at least. But it didn’t.

She didn’t have the capacity to feel anything else other than satisfaction at finally having Sutton like this, and desire to have more.

Maybe Charlotte wouldn’t be around constantly, maybe it left time for the Alias of the world to pop up, but Sutton was hers. And she was Sutton’s.

They moved in sync, as Charlotte slid her hands down and gripped the backs of Sutton’s thighs, the trailed up under the back of her skirt, gripping her ass. She helped settle Sutton onto the sink, both of them hearing the blow dryer that had been resting on the side of the sink clatter to the ground, and ignoring it.

She couldn’t give a damn about that, not while she had Sutton again. Not while she had their bodies pressed together and she had Sutton’s taste on her lips.

Feeling the hot silk of her skin under her fingers, as she dragged her fingers – still under Sutton’s skirt – down her thigh, as Sutton locked her legs around Charlotte’s hips.

She dragged her lips down to Sutton’s jaw, then down her neck. Wanting to taste her everywhere.

“I’ve never pictured you as a jealous person,” Sutton strained against her, one hand clenched in her hair, the other scratching down Charlotte’s spine. When had Sutton gotten her hands under Charlotte’s shirt?

Not important; what was important was that she had, and Charlotte shuddered at the touch.

“Because I’m not. Or, I wasn’t,” she murmured, dragging her lips over the soft, heated skin of Sutton’s neck. Lingering on her pulse, feeling it hammer against her lips. “Not before you.”

She dug her nails into Sutton’s thigh, her ears ringing with the sound of Sutton’s throaty groan. Charlotte’s eyes tightly closed as desire pounded through her, making her lightheaded.

She’d been with Sutton Sunday. Less than a full week ago. But she felt like it had been forever. Was this normal? Was this what it was like to – to be falling in love? Was this what that was?

That thought shot through her like the crack of a whip, and she tore her mouth away from Sutton, breathing heavy.

It shouldn’t shock her. That was what they were doing. Right? That was the normal trajectory of – of dating and relationships, right? That was usually the goal for most people.

Breathing heavily, she stared, wide-eyed, at Sutton, her heart pounding in her chest like she’d run a fucking marathon.

Sutton blinked her bleary eyes open, eyebrows furrowing in concern. “Charlotte? Is everything okay?”

“Yes.” She had to clear her throat, because that word came out in a whisper so quiet it was barely audible. “Yes, sorry, I–”

The door next to them shook on its hinges as Regan pounded on it, her voice ringing out, “Hey! This is supposed to be a double date, and when half of the double disappears into the bathroom, that kind of destroys the purpose, lovebirds.”

Sutton’s eyes tightly closed again, and she dropped her head back with a groan. “You decided this was going to be a double date all on your own!”

“And?” Regan knocked on the door again, like she was reminding them she was right there. “Sutton for the first time in our lives, we both have girlfriends. I think that calls for at least one night where I can have a real conversation with yours. You get to talk to mine all of the time, whenever you want. You don’t even have to only text her in emergencies. Healthy relationships are about reciprocity.”

Sutton shook her head, aiming an apologetic wince at Charlotte. “We don’t have to do this. I know there’s a lot going on, and you didn’t ask for us to go from zero to a hundred basically overnight. And I don’t want you to run away from me. From… from us. Because, Charlotte, I think you’re,” she paused, reaching out and cupping Charlotte’s jaw in a touch that was so reverent, Charlotte’s eyes fluttered closed. “Stunning. In every way, not even just physically.”

It was still nerve-wracking. This one conversation couldn’t change that fact. They had gone from zero to a hundred with almost no time in between. Sutton had officially stopped working for her last Friday night, and then come Saturday morning, things had blown up.

And she still wanted it. Because she was now pretty sure she was – that this could be…

Okay, Charlotte wasn’t ready to think about that specific word.

But she wasn’t a coward.

“I’m up for this. Besides, you’ve spent time with Caleb and Dean, and Regan’s not wrong; reciprocity is important.” Charlotte rolled her shoulders back, as if preparing for battle.

And, knowing what she already knew about Regan, she kind of was.

Though she’d echoed Regan’s sentiment somewhat jokingly, it was true. The reality was that Sutton had chosen to be with Charlotte, and she’d stood by that choice. Charlotte was going to do the same. She wanted to do the same. She wanted to show up for Sutton the same way she knew Sutton would show up for her.

Besides, it was a game night.

Charlotte hadn’t played many games, but she was competitive. She had a feeling that it could be – maybe? – fun in ways she was entirely unfamiliar with.

She stepped back, reluctantly, allowing Sutton to stand in front of her. Though Sutton reached for the doorknob, she glanced at Charlotte to make sure she was ready.

When they opened the bathroom door, she came face to face with Regan, who was wearing a big smile.

Sutton tensed behind her, the hand she had on Charlotte’s hip tightening. “Regan! Why are you still standing there?!”

“Did you think she walked away, darling?” Charlotte asked, incredulously, twisting around to look at Sutton.

Regan let out a loud bark of laughter. “Yeah, daaahling. Who are you? Or, who do you think I am?”

Regan reached out, casting her arm over Charlotte’s shoulders, tugging her forward. The close familiarity of the movement made her tense for a second, before she found that it wasn’t actually uncomfortable. It wasn’t her favorite thing in the world, and she maintained a couple inches of space.

“See, Charlotte, I think you and I are going to be really great friends. Because you already know me so well. And I really like that you’re going full steam ahead with Sutton. Not only is it a great choice on your part, but I respect it. I know this is your first relationship–”

“No, you don’t,” Sutton cut in sharply from right behind them. “I have not discussed anything about Charlotte’s personal life to that extent with you.”

Regan tossed Sutton a look over her shoulder, before she looked at Charlotte again. “I’ve put it together from context clues. Anyway, my point is – I’m in a great place in a relationship of my own with a wonderful woman. So if there’s ever a time where you’d like to talk while you’re figuring things out, I’m here for you.”

All right, Charlotte had enough of the touching. She smoothly ducked out of Regan’s arm, arching her a dry stare, as she fell back into step with Sutton. “How generous an offer, and – really – I appreciate it,” she drawled. “Given all of your worldly experience. But I’ll try to muddle through on my own.”

Regan shrugged. “Offer is always on the table.”

Sutton reached her arm out, gently wrapping around Charlotte’s waist, and this time the touch was comforting.

Even with the whole… love… thing still hovering in the back of her mind.

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