Poll Result - Caroline/Hannah fall day (Patreon)

Posting the two updates in Guilty as Sin threw off my posting schedule, so this is coming in a day late. But happy October/beginning of fall!

It became more of a fall day than fall date, but maybe they're synonymous...

The Fall Day

It had taken a little while for Hannah to come around to Jess. Years, really.

Which she thought was… fair.

But this moment did a lot to close the final few inches in that gap. Because they’d spend a few days up at Jess’ lake house, as they did every October over a long weekend. And it had been a good time, as Hannah had to admit it always was.

But it had specifically been a much needed time for relaxation for Caroline.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Hannah asked Jess in the kitchen.

All of Caroline’s – their? – other friends had filtered in and out over the last twenty minutes, grabbing coffee or something quick to eat as they all were loading up cars to beat traffic. Even though she/her family owned the place, Jess was the first ready to go.

Jess waved her hand. “Definitely not. Look, this place doesn’t get nearly enough love. And I think you’re right; Caroline needs to take a little breather. Besides, you already asked, and I already agreed; I’m never going to go back on an agreement.”

Hannah let out a quiet, relieved breath. “Thank you. I just wanted to make sure you still felt that way.”

The agreement in question being that she wanted to take an extra two days up here after Caroline’s friends all left, a couple of days with just the two of them.

“Just make sure to lock up before you go. Caroline knows where the extra set of keys are, and you both know the lockbox code.”

“Of course.” Okay. Great. Now, her mind was already turning to prepare for her day here with Caroline.

Starting with making them both a coffee. Well, only herself for now. Caroline – hopefully – would sleep for a while longer.

“So… are you and I finally good?” Jess asked, sipping her to-go cup of coffee.

Hannah froze, her hands briefly tightening against the cabinet door she’d reached for, where the mugs were. “Ah, yes? We’re – have we not been good?”

There was a glint in Jess’ eye that told Hannah she was thoroughly amused by this turn of conversation, a feeling Hannah definitely did not share.

“I mean,” she continued after needing to take a beat. She’d gotten to a place over the last few years with Caroline where she didn’t really ever struggle to put her thoughts into words, but it didn’t necessarily extend to everyone else. She was better, especially after gaining the confidence in herself that she now had through excelling at work, but… years of doubting herself and holding her tongue, pushing down all of her thoughts in order to avoid a heated fight as much as possible – it took a toll. Clearing her throat, she pushed on, “We see one another regularly. We do this,” she gestured between them, “Every year.”

“Sure,” Jess allowed.

“And we got married here this year,” Hannah felt the need to add on.

“No, I know. I was there. But, come on. I’m not an idiot; I know there’s been a… thing… here, ever since you found out Caroline and I slept together.”

God, did Hannah hate the reminder of that. Not that she had regular reminders, because it wasn’t as though Caroline – or Jess – talked often about the time they’d hooked up years ago, long before she and Caroline had been together.

She wondered if it was visible on her face, because Jess chuckled. “Look, I think I’d feel the same way if the roles were reversed. It’s all good.”

“I do like you,” Hannah pushed out, because it was true.

If she didn’t know the context – if she didn’t know that her wife and Jess had sex in the past and that Jess had been in love with Caroline – she’d have never had any issues with Jess at all. And it wasn’t as though she’d ever try to impede their friendship since finding out; she trusted Caroline implicitly. Hell, she trusted Jess, even. But still.

“Good. Because I think it’s really clear that Caroline doesn’t have eyes for anyone but you. And she’s never looked at anyone the way she does you, from the very beginning.”

It filled Hannah with a warmth she’d spent so long in her adult life utterly devoid of, knowing that. Not that she needed Jess to tell her how much Caroline loved her; she felt it every day.

“I know. And I feel the same for her.”

“Hence the extended long weekend here,” Jess finished, pushing off from where she’d been leaning against the counter. “I’m going to round everyone else up so we can get out of your hair.”

***

There was something inherently magical about this place, about this room, specifically.

The large windows that overlooked the lake bathed the bedroom in a gorgeous natural light. Maybe most people would think it was more ideal in the summer, but this was perfect. The way the trees that lined around the lake outside were all turning into vibrant reds and oranges and yellows, turning the scene around them into an image that belonged in a painting in a museum.

And then there was Caroline.

Sleeping the way she always did when she was alone in bed.

If Hannah was in bed with her, then Caroline was on her. Like a koala. In a way Hannah couldn’t believe she loved as much as she did. But it was this amalgamation of Caroline Parker, who was so in control in the light of day, who turned into a clingy, cuddly sleeper every night that really worked for her.

But when Caroline was alone – she was sprawled.

Half of her face hidden against the plush pillow, her wavy hair a little messy laid against the pillow behind her. Her perfectly plush lips parted slightly, her breathing deep and even, and there was a gentle flush on her cheeks.

Her arm was thrown around a pillow that she’d maneuvered into Hannah’s spot, and one of her legs was bent, tossed over the bottom of the pillow.

She’d fallen asleep last night in a pair of short little cotton shorts and a loose sweatshirt that she’d pulled on when she’d gone to the bathroom, and had collapsed into a deep sleep upon dropping back into bed. Most of her body was revealed, having kicked off the blanket.

Hannah had placed the blanket back over her when she’d come back up to their room after her conversation with Jess, but Caroline had shoved it off again, and Hannah had then let her be.

And she’d spent the last few hours doing something she hadn’t had time to do in years during their long weekends here: she drew Caroline.

She traced her fingers reverently over the pencil lines on her paper, feeling an affectionate dip in her stomach as she thought about the last time she’d done this. That first year she’d come here.

She’d been up so early, with time to draw Caroline, because she’d been unable to really sleep. Completely and utterly plagued, in the best way, by her desire for Caroline. The conversation they’d had, how she’d felt like she’d had the best sex of her life even though they hadn’t even touched.

Now, when they came up here, she slept soundly, right in the place of that pillow.

She froze when she saw Caroline start to stretch, and she placed her notebook down to watch Caroline wake up and come into the day.

Normally, Caroline did most things with efficiency, even right in the morning, utilizing every minute she had. Especially in the last couple of months.

So Hannah drank this in, Caroline’s slow start to the day.

Which didn’t last more than a few seconds, and she could see as Caroline turned her head toward the large windows and blinked her eyes open when she became aware that it was later than she’d anticipated.

Caroline paused, then quickly sat up, confusion etched into her face as her gaze landed on Hannah.

She stood, walking over to Caroline’s side of the bed. The thermos of coffee she’d prepared for Caroline a little while ago sat right next to her, ready to be consumed at Caroline’s leisure, and she placed her sketchbook down next to it, before she sat down, facing Caroline.

“What time is it?” Caroline asked, her voice raspy from sleep.

It never failed to make Hannah shiver, just that sound.

“It’s almost eleven,” she answered, reaching out to smooth a few wayward strands of Caroline’s hair. She moved slowly, feeling the strands between her fingertips, enjoying the sensation, before she dropped her hand down to Caroline’s lap.

She could feel the tension zip through Caroline at her answer, her eyes widening. “Eleven?” She echoed, her mouth falling open as it the time of day was genuinely offensive to her. “What?! How did I sleep until eleven?!”

She sounded aggrieved, but directed at herself. Which Hannah was not having, and she squeezed Caroline’s thigh in gentle reproach, regaining her attention.

“I’m sure Jess is ready to get the hell out of here. And Abbie’s game…” Her eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t think we can make it, even if we leave in the next ten minutes.”

“Jess – and everyone else – is gone already. And no, we aren’t going to make it to Abbie’s game,” she confirmed, quietly.

Caroline’s lips tugged into a deep frown, still looking confused. “But… we can’t miss her game. And why did everyone leave, but no one woke me up?”

She searched Hannah’s gaze, looking for answers.

Hannah was happy to provide. “Baby, you need a break.”

Her voice was low, but she’d never felt so firm in telling Caroline what to do. That wasn’t really their style, demanding anything from one another. Especially if not during sex.

“Abbie is fine with us missing her game today, and she’s going to spend the night with Jared and Norah. She’s going to have hundreds of games in her future, assuming this is what she wants to keep doing.”

Abbie had told them fairly recently that it was what she wanted to do in the future. She was only fifteen, so Hannah took it with a grain of salt, but… soccer had usurped all of her other hobbies. She still liked to cook and bake, still enjoyed hanging out with her friends, but there was a fierce dedication to the game, which was visibly reflected in the way she’d been playing since starting high school.

If that was the case, there was no way they’d be able to see her play even close to all of her college or professional games, at least not in person.

“You talked to her about it?” Caroline asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Yes, before we left for the weekend. And she’s fine with it.” Especially because Abbie had commented on how busy Caroline had been the last couple of months as well, which Hannah didn’t want to bring up.

Caroline worked so hard around Abbie, not wanting any stress from her adult-life to ever bleed over and affect Abbie. Which Hannah adored about her, because she’d tried very hard to do the same.

“I’m worried about you,” she continued, stroking her hand over the soft skin of Caroline’s thigh, revealed by those little shorts.

When Caroline’s gaze snapped to hers, she met it head-on.

“You have been going nonstop since August, and even though you’re a veritable superwoman,” there was no doubt about that, “You’re heading right for a crash landing. So, we’re going to take today and enjoy a beautiful fall day up here at the lake together. Just you and me, and no one else. Nothing else you need to be concerned about, nothing else you have to do.”

It had all started with Caroline’s father having a stroke over the summer. Luckily – so luckily – it had been relatively minor, all things considered.

He was ultimately okay. Still walking and talking, albeit in rehab for both. Things could have been so much worse, but they weren’t. And he’d been able to go to a great rehab facility for the six weeks immediately after – which Caroline had paid for.

The fact that Caroline was both the only daughter to her parents and the person in the Parker family that made by far the most money had become very clear in the last two months. Not only providing the financial stability for both of her parents, who’d retired in the last couple of years, but also creating and overseeing the schedule for them to be checked on daily.

On top of that, in the week following the stroke, she’d started working on a case that was incredibly draining. Time-consuming and energy-sapping, she’d had a lot of late nights in her home office.

“You’ve been going nonstop, full-steam ahead for months, and you need a break. And if you aren’t going to take one yourself, which you haven’t, then I’m going to facilitate it. It’s my job.”

“Your job,” Caroline echoed, arching her a look.

Hannah lifted her left hand, wiggling her fingers, and the light from the window caught on the diamond on her wedding ring. “You’re the one who wanted to marry me. For years, I might add,” she teased.

“Woooow,” Caroline drawled, quietly. “I’ve only been awake for two minutes, you know.”

“I do know. And the fact that you slept for over ten hours, without waking up at all, even when your friends popped their heads in and spoke to me, even when I was coming and going, reaffirmed to me that I’m right to do this. You already took the next two days off from work. Abbie’s taken care of. I’ve texted with your mom already to make sure everything’s fine. Today, Caroline Parker, you’re mine.”

Caroline’s eyebrows lifted high on her forehead at her tone, but it seemed that all of the possible pushing back she might have had fell away. “Well, Hannah Parker, to that I say: I’m yours every day.”

***

“You know, when you said you’re mine today, this wasn’t necessarily what I thought you had in mind,” Caroline teased from behind her, slightly breathless.

Hannah, too, was slightly breathless, as the trail they’d been following was on an incline. She hadn’t predicted that.

“I thought it would be a good idea to get us both out of the house and in the fresh air. And I thought it would be pretty.”

She was right about the second part, at the very least. The view as they’d been walking through the woods had been gorgeous. Especially, as she turned and looked at Caroline, this view.

The lake was visible in the distance, and Caroline made the view impossibly more gorgeous.

Her hair was tugged up into a short ponytail, though some strands had fallen out through their hike. With jeans and boots and a dark vest over her sweater, she looked impossibly cute. And so different from her typical wear. Obviously, for work, she dressed up in her suits. On other days, Caroline typically dressed in surprisingly chic outfits. Always understated, but quietly fashionable.

On weekends or the occasional lounge-day, she’d wear t-shirts or sweatshirts around the house, but it was so rare to have Caroline out and about dressed like this. Looking so cozy in the slight chill of the autumn air.

Out of the office, out of her home office, not heading to her parents’ or dropping Abbie off or running around with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Just… existing.

“And I was right,” she hummed out.

Caroline’s dark eyes glinted back at her. “That was very smooth. And right back at you.”

There was just… a way Caroline had, in how she looked at Hannah, that made Hannah feel beautiful. She’d known since she was a teenager that she was – objectively, societally – attractive. She knew she was thin and blonde, and she’d never looked in the mirror and disliked what she’d seen, which was lucky. Boys had expressed an interest in her in high school, even though she hadn’t really felt the need or desire to date around.

Michael’s attraction to her, as she’d learned through their relationship, was entirely rooted in how physically attractive he found her.

It was a very… odd thing, realizing you’d ended up as a quintessential trophy wife. So much of her value had been boiled down to how she looked on his arm at events.

And now, she was years older, she had her hair tossed into a hasty ponytail, she had no makeup on, nothing about her jeans or sweater was overly flattering.

But she was married to this woman who looked at her like she was the most stunning person she’d ever met.

“I really never took you as a hiker,” Caroline commented as they started going again, now walking side-by-side, her shoulder bumping into Hannah’s with every step they took. “How have we been together for so long and I didn’t know this about you?”

“I’m not,” she denied without pause, a laugh falling from her lips at the absurdity of the notion. “Believe me, if I was a hiker, you would have known. While I hope our marriage always stays fresh, this is not something new you’re learning about me.”

Caroline reached up and swiped away pretend sweat. “Whew. I was gonna say, I’ll brave the great outdoors for you on occasion, but…”

Hannah leaned in and bumped her shoulder against Caroline’s. “I simply figured: when in Rome. Besides, even though we’ve been up here how many times – I’ve never really explored.”

“Well, Kris and Miranda and Lacey love to go on their little hikes when we come up here. You could always go with them.”

Hannah arched her a teasing look. “And miss our time back at the house?”

Caroline’s friends being gone for at least an hour and a half in the afternoon was one of the best times of the trip. Like this past weekend, when she and Caroline had showered together, and then Caroline had pressed her against the counter in the bathroom and fallen to her knees, making a feast out of Hannah. “Recreating” the night she’d touched herself here, as Caroline had put it.

“I’m never going to choose this over that,” she refuted with a scoff. “My mom used to love going on long walks and an occasional hike when we’d leave the city.” She looked around at the trees. “Especially in the fall, when everything looked so beautiful.”

It was the most outdoors-y Hannah had ever been.

Caroline reached out and stroked the back of her hand over Hannah’s, and she flipped hers around so their fingers could become entangled.

“I joined an outdoor group for, like, a month when I was in college,” Caroline informed her.

Hannah’s mouth fell open in surprise as she whipped her head around to look at Caroline, completely baffled. “What?!”

The only thing she could imagine less was Caroline joining some sort of holiday group.

Caroline let out a little sigh. “Yeah. There was a girl, Sam, who was super into hiking and skiing and all that.” She gave Hannah a dry look. “A tall blonde, if you can imagine.”

She barked out a laugh, imagining college Caroline. “Yes, I can imagine.” Still, she made a teasing little face at her. Because… Sam.

It wasn’t real jealousy, the way she felt when she experienced like with the office assistant at Caroline’s work, but still. It was the very idea of anyone with Caroline – even almost twenty years in the past – made her feel irrationally crazy.

“No need to be jealous,” Caroline stroked her thumb over the back of her hand, letting out a sigh. “Sam and I were for not. I mean… we went on a couple of dates, but only after I quit the outdoor group. I couldn’t keep that up. I’d thought at first it would be a good idea to get out and about, while I was buried in pre-law courses, otherwise. But, not for me.” Caroline took a deep breath, looking around, before she angled her head up to look at Hannah. “This… with you? This is for me.”

Hannah squeezed her hand back. “For me, too.” As they continued walking, she tilted her head to the side in thought. “Did you join any other ill-advised groups in college?”

Caroline scoffed. “No, I learned my lessons, thank you very much.” She paused. “Well. I did try out a racquetball league with Kris once. That was a horrible mistake.”

Hannah threw her head back, laughter bubbling up. “Tell me more.”

***

“On your day of rest, you wanted to… bake a pie,” Hannah drawled incredulously, as she stood in the kitchen, rolling out the pastry dough after she’d taken it out of the fridge.

Caroline was very diligently slicing the apples, carefully placing her long, dexterous fingers on the ends the way Hannah had instructed, because the way Caroline chopped things was sometimes borderline terrifying for her to witness.

“Mhmm,” Caroline hummed back, aiming a bright smile her way. “First, because you make an incredible apple pie. Second, because Kris brought all of these apples that she and her kids picked, and they all left them! What are we going to do with this many apples? And third…” She dragged her eyes up and down Hannah. “Because you look ridiculously attractive when you get into your baking groove.”

Hannah arched her an eyebrow, stepping back from the island as she held up the rolling pin with one hand, gesturing down at her apron covered torso with the other. “Yeah? This is really doing it for you?”

Caroline raked her eyes down her body, reaching one hand up and dropping her chin into it, the glinting look unmistakable. “Yes, it does.”

Hannah shivered, swallowing thickly before she reached down and smoothed her free hand over her apron, heat lacing through her veins. “Okay. I need to finish this before the dough gets too warm, so the butter is still chilled when it gets into the oven. So… contain yourself for another few minutes. And you have your own job over there – finish cutting the apples, so we can get the inside of the pie ready, too.”

Caroline’s lips tugged into a small, unbelievably attractive smile, as she went back to her task. “So bossy today.”

“Again, you married me.”

“And I have no regrets. We’re going to have a freshly baked apple pie, after we went on a hike on a crisp fall day… what do I have to complain about?”

“Hopefully nothing,” Hannah agreed, softly. Because that was the goal. Giving Caroline a day where she didn’t feel the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Clearing her throat, she went back to rolling the dough. “What do you want to watch while we cuddle on the couch when this is in the oven? We could put on the new episode of that fall baking show that came out last night.”

Caroline let out a gasp that was so jarring, Hannah nearly dropped the dough in her hands.

When she looked up, Caroline had her non-knife-holding hand pressed to her chest in obvious offense. “We can’t watch that without Abbie! That’s our thing. How many times in our life are we going to be able to have our show with our girl, where we watch together every week? We can’t eschew it.”

Hannah’s heart flip-flopped in her chest, and she just…

She put the rolling pin down and circled around the island to where Caroline was sitting. She kept her hands to herself, as covered in flour as they were, but leaned in, pressing their lips together.

Keeping the kiss light and sweet, and just needing to feel Caroline. To breathe her in.

For all of the mistakes she’d made in her life, she’d made up for all of them by being able to choose Caroline.

As she pulled back, she rubbed the tip of her nose against Caroline’s, before ducking back in for one more kiss.

“Okay,” she breathed out. “Back to the apple pie.”

***

“This was a good idea,” Caroline murmured, her voice soft and just audible over the evening sounds out in the woods, around the lake.

Hannah had brought a cushy blanket out onto the deck on the property, and had laid it out over the planks. And now, she and Caroline were both sitting on it, with Caroline scooched back snuggly between Hannah’s legs, her back pressed against Hannah’s front. It was almost as though they were fused together, no space allowed between them.

She readjusted the fleece blanket they had spread over their legs, tugging it higher up to Caroline’s waist, wanting to make sure she was warm enough. After all, she didn’t have a human space heater laying against her the way Hannah did.

Hannah ducked her head, pressing her lips to the side of Caroline’s neck in a soft kiss. “You take care of everyone, all of the time.”

She felt Caroline’s inhale, long and deep, in the way her back pressed against her.

“You have looked out for me, taken care of me, since the day you started working for me. For free. Actually, you looked out for me even before that.”

Hannah would never forget those tissues Caroline had given her, not ever.

She tightened her hold around Caroline, making sure she stayed right where she should be.

“And I love how strong you are, how you seem to always have the answer, how everyone knows they can come to you, knows they can depend on you. It’s something that makes you such a… a beautiful person,” she breathed the words out, her heart skipping a beat in her chest at just how true it was. Inside and out. “But you are also my person. And when things are hard for you, I’m going to take care of you, too.”

For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, Hannah would love and honor Caroline for the rest of their lives.

When she thought about it now – right in this moment as the cold, evening autumn air blew around them, and she felt like they were the only people who existed on the planet – it was almost unfathomable that she’d needed to wait so long to marry Caroline.

Psychologically, she knew it wasn’t so simple.

But there was nowhere else in the world she’d ever rather be than right here, than spending the day how they’d spent it, forever.

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