journal: just remember something beautiful (Patreon)

Attached: two pictures I took to show my friends my progress in terms of growing out my hair, which has been quite a journey in identity and learning what it means to follow your heart, and developing the 'muscle memory' needed to locate and pay attention to your intuition and deeper wants.

So many things have happened since I started planning and recording The Grand Scream. I am simultaneously aware that I'm entering a new chapter and also slightly melancholy about it! And now that the album has been finished for a bit now (mixing and mastering are happening) I'm getting down to business and creating the next era in terms of visuals. It definitely feels a little bit like things were when I wrote Remember Something Beautiful, and I'm trying to remember, trust, and embody the message of the song.

I'm doing a simple DIY photoshoot tonight with a long-time close friend. I noticed some resistance in my body and brain to the idea of taking pictures to post online because I haven't done it in a bit, but I'm aware that I need to! I actually do like taking photos a lot, I just have to warm up to get into the empowered and present headspace I need to be in to take and direct them.

After this post I need to eat something, run to the store to pick up black stockings, and do a small makeup test with a new foundation and mixing pigment before my friend gets to my house.

I am doing all of this despite inner resistance with the awareness and lived experience of the fact that sometimes the universe doesn't take you seriously until you take the leap of faith into the abyssal maw of possibility to show it that you mean what you say.

I was raised Catholic (though I don't identify that way now) and have received a lot of kind words and advice from others in reference to their own faiths along the path of my life, which I respect deeply even if I am not religious myself - others' perspectives can shed light on things that your own simply cannot reach. I personally tend to believe that there is a nebulous energy that connects all things and while it isn't sentient, there is sometimes an unfeeling yet palpable presence and logic to the way it behaves and responds.

Last December, I felt like I was giving my everything to music yet struggling to see the results. I did a deep meditation that night and asked the universe for a win or a sign. The next morning I woke up to a call being asked to open for a month-long tour, during which I launched the Indiegogo for The Grand Scream after a ton of behind-the-scenes work in the months leading up to it.

I need to run for now! You all will get the first look at this batch of new pictures so stay tuned. Everyone working on their own projects and taking the leap into the maw are in my thoughts. Keep your heads held high. <3