Path of Dragons 17 - Chapter 16 - Hypocrisy (Patreon)

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Imal said, her fingers twining with his hair as he laid his head in her lap.  “People hunt for a lot of different reasons.  Mostly for experience.”

“That’s not me, though.  I need to hold myself to a higher standard,” Elijah responded with a sigh.  “Everyone in the grove looks to me as an example.  I’ve killed people for doing what I just did.  It makes me a hypocrite.”

“So?”

Elijah turned his head slightly to look up at her.  “So?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Are you saying it doesn’t matter?” Elijah asked.

“I’m saying that this is all in your head.  No one expects you to be perfect, Elijah.  I don’t know why you expect it of yourself,” she explained, infinitely reasonable in her assessment.  That didn’t make it any more comforting, though. 

Elijah said as much, adding, “I can’t just follow my rules when they’re convenient.”

“I never told you to,” she stated.  “What I said…what I’ve been saying all along is that you are an imperfect creature.  Some of us love you for that.  But the fact is that you are the only person holding yourself to that standard.  Do you know what everyone else sees when they look at a termite mound the size of a mountain?”

“I don’t know,” Elijah lied.

“Horror.  Those things are pests.  I did some research before coming here, you know.”

“One of us had to,” Elijah interjected.  He couldn’t escape the fact that his voice had a pout to it.  But then again, he felt he’d earned it.  If he’d felt happy after what he’d just done, it would have been quite alarming.

“Funny,” she said, playfully slapping his shoulder.  “My point is that I learned a little about those bugs.  Do you know what they’re called?”

“Termites.”

“World-eaters.”

“Evocative.”

“It’s meant literally,” she revealed.  “They eat worlds.  There’s a standing bounty on them.  Bring the remains to the Seekers guild in She’evoth, and you’ll get a bounty.”

“I guess I should’ve gathered the corpses, then.  I could be rich,” Elijah deadpanned.  There was no joy in his voice, though.  The grim joke was just his way of coping with his guilt.

“I’m pretty sure that if you showed up in She’evoth, you’d be arrested.”

“Really?”

“Did you think you could declare yourself an enemy of the empire with no consequences?”

Elijah sighed. “I honestly didn’t think anyone would care.  Or know.  It’s not like I printed a newsletter and mailed it out.”

“They know.”  Imal rolled her eyes.  “And I can guarantee they aren’t happy about what you’re doing here.  The only thing keeping them from doing something about it is the threat of Kirlissa.  And Mano’lith, to a certain extent.  But everyone knows he’d rather be in the abyss.”

“Probably makes him a little scarier,” Elijah suggested.

“Likely. That isn’t the point, though.  I’m not talking about politics or the empire.  I’m talking about the termites.  They are a menace.  By anyone’s measure, you did a good thing by killing them.”

“Didn’t feel good.”

She leaned over, kissing him on the forehead. “That’s because you want to be a good person.”

Elijah didn’t miss that she hadn’t said that he was one.  Just that he wanted to be good.  That distinction was likely accurate, given everything he’d done over the years.  Regardless of reasons, one couldn’t simply destroy entire towns and kill thousands of people and still consider themselves good.

Necessary, maybe.

Justified, perhaps.

But not good.  Never that.

Elijah and Imal fell into a comfortable silence – the kind that’s only possible after spending years together.  Much of that time had been apart, but the strength of their connection had never waned.  Not since they’d first met in the Tournament of the First Fang.

“Have there been any other attacks?” he asked.

“A few,” she admitted.  “Nothing decisive.  The two sides are probing, for now.  Illska thinks it’ll be another year or two before it all comes to a head.”

“Based on what?” Elijah asked.  He had no desire to question Illska’s estimate, but the reality was that the situation was so volatile that all-out war could come at any time.  It only needed a single spark to set off the conflagration, which was one of the reasons he remained inside the Vengeance.

Too often, he’d played the role of that spark.  And while Illska wasn’t afraid of battle, she wanted to delay it as long as possible so that the people from Earth could have more of a chance to progress.  Every month they avoided war was another month they could gain levels, work on their cultivation, or upgrade the Vengeance.  Given the pace at which they advanced, that could mean the difference between defeat and victory.

Or so she said.

For his part, Elijah wanted to just take the fight to them.  With Illska on their side, they stood a good chance of winning.  Adding Elijah and the Vengeance to the mix, and it seemed assured.

Illska made it clear that wasn’t the case.  She didn’t underestimate Elijah’s combat prowess, but he was still just a demigod.  At best, he could take on a few low- or mid-grade deities.  If he encountered a high- or peak-deity, he would almost assuredly lose. 

Maybe he could escape, but even that wasn’t a certainty.

And Illska wasn’t the trump card Elijah wanted to believe she was.  Sure, she had her reputation, and it was well-earned.  However, there were others in Bas’eltion who might be able to stymie her. 

Like Masasha, the leader of that alliance of clans. 

She was a space mage, and Elijah didn’t need anyone to tell him just how frustrating they could be in a fight.  Even with less power, she could change the scope of any battle.

So, the two sides were in a bit of a holding pattern. 

Meanwhile, expeditions into cells continued, and everyone advanced a little with every passing week. 

For his part, Elijah knew he couldn’t delay returning to Agmar much longer.  Once that was done, he could forge the alliance that he hoped would tip the balance in the coming war.

No guarantees.  Just hope.

For now, though, he took the time to enjoy Imal’s company.  She was set to depart in less than a day, intent on cleansing another cell.  Even with the close call with the three dragons from the empire alliance, they were all eager to get back out there and earn contribution points as well as experience.

Pointedly, nobody really cared much about reclaiming the ancestral world for the empire.  That ship had already sailed, and Elijah suspected it wouldn’t be long before most of them cut ties altogether.  Not officially.  They wouldn’t forfeit citizenship in the empire that easily.  But most of them seemed just as disillusioned with the dragons as Elijah was.

Maybe they’d try to settle on Earth.  If it wasn’t approached with caution, that would bring a host of problems.  Sara could probably help handle it, though.  She was good at that sort of thing.

Probably.

Elijah still wasn’t entirely certain what an Administrator really did, aside from make everything run better.  And if he was honest, he didn’t really want to find out.  It was one of those areas where ignorance was better than diving into the boring minutiae.  Truthfully, he just didn’t want to think of it as his problem, even if it probably qualified as such.

Someone would take care of it.

That was why he’d surrounded himself with such competent people.  That, and his inability to focus on the sorts of mundane tasks that made a settlement – or a faction – run smoothly.

Eventually, Elijah’s thoughts turned to the future.

He’d already sent the queen fat back to Earth, where it would steep in the grove’s atmosphere for a few years.  Maybe a decade or two.  The people from Crying Dragon knew what they were doing, and Elijah trusted them with the preparation.  However, when it came time to actually make the soap, he intended to play a very large role. 

It would be stronger that way.

And Elijah suspected that, as he forged ahead into the next phase of cultivation, he would need it. 

Already, he’d begun to work on his mind.  Not in a focused way.  Just some exercises he’d learned from Tura and personalized for his own use.  The idea was to cycle the leaves as quickly as possible, not to get rid of trauma, but to cleanse impurities left behind by the flow of ethera. 

Each iteration left the leaves clearer and more vibrant than before, if only by a barely noticeable degree.

Still, cultivation wasn’t a singular event.  It was an ongoing process comprised of tiny steps in the right direction.  Then, it was capped by a massive surge.  If he failed to properly prepare, the best case would see his results limited by his own laziness.  The worst case was destabilization and failure.

Elijah had been told that the latter would be difficult to recover from, which made perfect sense.  Fouling one’s cultivation system was akin to a degradation of the self.  Not psychologically, but instead, in a very literal way.

He only needed to remember what he’d done to Skahan to know how bad it could get.  The dragon deserved it, but that didn’t make it any easier to consider.

Eventually, the couple shifted into more distracting and admittedly enjoyable territory, then fell asleep in one another’s arms.  When Elijah awoke the next morning, it was to find that Imal had already departed.  She had left a note, though. 

More than he usually did for her.

The acknowledgement of that came with a different sort of guilt, and not for the first time, he realized that Imal could do much better than him.  He tried to be a good partner, but his distractable nature made that much more difficult.  Added to that was the reality that he had quite a lot on his plate, and it wasn’t difficult to see why he often failed in that department.  Why she even put up with him was a mystery that he’d yet to solve.

Still, in his solitude, he had the opportunity to study his status.  Since his extermination of the termite hive, he’d studioiusly ignored it, and it wasn’t difficult to understand why.  He already felt guilty, and seeing that the system had rewarded him with two levels only made it worse.

That degree of progression did put things into perspective, though.  He had killed a lot of termites.  An entire civilization, such as it was.  And he’d only gained a handful of levels, putting him at four-sixty-four. 

If it got any slower, he’d end up spending years fighting for a single uptick.

With deity so close, the glacial pace was particularly frustrating.  Elijah wasn’t one to dwell on progression, though.  The levels would come when they came, and that was all there was to it.

For the next day or so, Elijah spent some time refamiliarizing himself with the Vengeance.  The improvements had continued, as everyone was eager to show him.  From the fuel tanks – holding pressurized and liquified ethera – to the engine rooms, the ship had become so much more than it had been in the beginning.  Doubtless, the K’levehar Builders who’d helped design it would fail to recognize the new incarnation.

And that wasn’t even considering the work of Kurik and his apprentices. 

The dwarf wasn’t really the excitable sort, but he couldn’t contain his glee as he described the battle against the three intruding dragons.  “That big lizard dropped to his stomach like a common snake!” Kurik shouted excitedly as he showed Elijah what he called his gravity daffodils.  He’d gotten the idea from the other island, and he’d worked with the Farmers and Druids to grow the plants that would become his traps.

Elijah was happy to see his friend enjoying himself.

His next stop was Biggle’s laboratory, where the gnome was busy concocting all sorts of nasty surprises for the next battle.  He’d shifted his entire focus from cultivation potions to poisons, acids, and other caustic liquids he intended to incorporate into the cannons.

“Of course, I still need work with the Engineers on the delivery method, but they assure me the idea has merit!” Biggle said, thrusting one finger into the air.  His underlings all nodded in grave agreement.

Carmen’s smithy had a much different vibe.  She didn’t swing a hammer herself – not at the moment, at least.  Instead, she watched over a team of Blacksmiths, barking orders and criticism the whole time.  She was in her element, and Elijah didn’t stick around for long.

After a few more stops along the way, Elijah had to admit that he was just stalling.  He had his trophy, and he needed to finally head toward Agmar.  There, he would cement his alliance with the orcs and probably kickstart the war everyone else seemed keen on avoiding. 

So, once he’d let everyone know where he was going, Elijah shifted into the Shape of the World Serpent and took to the skies.  As he set off, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was about to unleash something that would’ve been better left bottled up.