Chaotic Zenless Zone Zero Chapter 6 (Patreon)

There was something to be said about Nicole's sheer shamelessness at times. As with the extra money we got from the commission, Nicole got a 'deal' on some almost-expired turkey, and after I cooked it all up and us three... Biological's feasted upon it.

So much turkey meat and instant mashed potatoes put us all into a fucking food coma as we lay out like a bunch of stoners to watch a movie. And with the rented movie we were watching. We all passed out after the long day of work and the heavy meal.

So with Billy watching the movie from his reinforced La-Z-Boy chair that also acted as a charging pad to fill up his batteries as he 'slept' I was 'stuck' between Anby and Nicole on a ragged pull-out bed couch as we watched the movie for all of probably like ten minutes.

And by the time we both awoke after the movie ended with a typical loud explosion and equally loud credits. I finally... Finally realized the great and terrible power that was the 'Lucky Sukebe' perk.

The term lucky sukebe basically refers to lucky perverted events. Basically living the life of Rito Yuki from To Love Ru. Where it was 'common' to trip and knock over a girl. And then face plant into their tits or between their legs.

As I woke up almost overheating. As Nicole had rolled around in the bed and was basically curled around my head like a cat. Her very ample tits acted as an ear muff for the right side of my head.

And Anby, sweet, honest Anby, had thrown a leg around my waist and was snoring loudly while nibbling on the side of my shoulder. And she was no longer wearing her combat skirt and was wearing just a pair of shorts.

A rather loose pair of shorts, in fact... Shorts, that I now knew quite well as my hand was inside her shorts on her hips, she was rocking against me a bit as she snored.

As soon as I recognized the feeling of Anby's smooth skin, I pulled my hand away with a wry smile, but as I moved, I felt a pinching sting in my neck.

I then slowly blinked away the heavy tiredness of an unwanted awakening from my nap. And I got up to go to the bathroom to throw some cold water on my face to wake myself up. As I still needed to go back home to sleep.

As there wasn't a real bed here for me... And I 'doubted' the two Cunning Hares would so easily accept me just sleeping in their own beds with them!

The turkey coma was an exception driven by perfectly natural chemical reactions due to a turkey's food coma. And a rather boring movie, all things considered.

But as I threw a bunch of water on my face. I realized two things... 1, I had a fucking hickey on my neck from Anby using my neck as a sucker pop from the looks of things. And two I had two more Gacha tickets in store, having come from dubious means.

['Sleep' with two different women at the same time in an intimate yet wholesome manner, being in a relationship with neither. And both women did not spark into an argument in doing so.- Gold Ticket]

[Be smooshed into the bosom of a named/destiny-filled character who has broad intentions for you.- Gold Ticket]

So seeing the two gold tickets, I mentally flexed the gacha to pull them even as I patted my face dry real quick.

First I got [Rites of the Edtree]|Epic Item|(Tome)Elden Ring - Rites of the old ones who used to worship the ancient Erdtree. Studying these rites allows learning of the miracles of the Erdtree.] 

And then with a flicker I also got

[Collaring]|Rare Ability|You can collar a defeated or submitting target, once collared the target cannot move to hurt you in any way, and you can force them to comply with your orders, this ability manifests as a translucent collar and chain around the target's neck that can be hidden.]

I was much, much more excited about the Rites of the Erdtree because you could never go wrong with healing and buffing magic. And having some offensive means finally beyond a noble phantasm that could turn my friends to stone, was very fucking nice.

But as I pulled out the Rites of the Erdtree giant tome into my hands to inspect it. I realized the Chaos Gatcha actually was expanded a bit and had another section to it.

And with a bit of inspection, I realized that it was the curse side of the Chaos Gatcha, so now. Not only could I pull curses as well from my draws, but I could purposefully take curses in order to gain more draws.

There was a moment as I looked up at the giant blood red cosmic gatcha spinning slowly in the air. And I decided to take some life advice from the cosmic gambler next door.

"Haha... Let's go, it's all or nothing!" I muttered as I pulled for two curses with all my mental strength.

And honestly... I got two curses that fucking felt like I was just a college dude who constantly studied to hard? Not to bad of curses honestly.

[Snooze]|Medium Curse|Whenever you fall asleep, you really fall asleep. The moment you fall asleep, you will sleep for at least 8 hours, and you will not wake up from that sleep unless you take a substantial hit. If your sleep is interrupted, you will suffer severe exhaustion.]

[Creature of Comfort]|Minor Curse|You are a creature of comfort; you need to be comfortable, and enduring discomfort is very annoying. It's literally impossible to sleep without a proper bed or sleeping situation. Being uncomfortable such as too cold, too hot, too dirty etc, decreases your energy recovery, scaling with how uncomfortable you are.|Resolve: Acquire Discipline Adept level or higher, or acquire 5 or more quality of life traits.|

Honestly the lesser curse was the worst of the two, but both curses gave me two more gold tickets which I felt would set me up so long as I didn't get some bronze tier draws or some nonsense.

And with the 'advantage' gold pull that allowed me to pull another time after drawing a weird magical girl power that I dodged like a fake pregnacy test. I was very happy with what I drew... Kinda, I was scared about one of the powers actually.

[Black Hole]|Epic Ability|Allows you to conjure and control weaker small-scale virtual black holes. With training, you could even conjure real black holes and make it everyone else's problem.]

[Trainee Tinker]|Rare Trait|You are a Tinker who just started their journey. The efficiency of all Tinker abilities are slightly enhanced; you are faster and more resourceful when building technological constructs.]

The trainee tinker skill would be helpful with the Star Wars tech tree, as the tinker perk just generally gave me an overall boost in skill when it came to crafting stuff.

But the first perk? Uhhh, even the ability to throw 'virtual' black holes was kinda the ultimate in control-based attacks, wouldn't it? Could I just yeet a 'fake' black hole into a hollow and watch it wreck everything within the hollow until the hollow itself broke apart?

"Honestly, I am still more excited about the book of Erd Tree incantations," I muttered before I shook my head.

My green hair swirling around as I tied the long hair behind me, and I went back home without much fanfare.

And as I got home, I threw myself to bed... And I realized my curse was honestly a blessing as I damn near instantly got exhausted as I relaxed in my comfortable bed and before I knew it.

I was dead asleep and my ass didn't wake up until ten in the morning tommorrow and I rolled over to see five messages from Nicole and Anby, along with thirty eight messages from Billy.

So with a groan I just called Nicole who picked up in just a couple of minutes. "Jake Bariss! What the hell? I been trying to call you!" She yelled through the phone.

And with zero shame I said helplessly. "Sorry Nicole, I literally can't be woken up after I fall asleep. It's a Gorgon thing were we sleep for at least ten hours straight and if we wake up early... We will just be useless."

Nicole sighed loudly through her phone before she said. "Ok! Fine, I get it, you have a disability to waking up early in the morning. Alrighty, where are you now!? I got a huuuuge job right from the Hollow Investigative Association. And I need as many hands as possible."

I smacked my lips, and I said honestly. "I am literally in bed... I saw your messages and wanted to tell you guys, I was still alive. Especially with Billy sending me more then thirty messages."

Nicole snorted through the line before saying in some amusement. "Ok... So you got two options buster. We, the Cunning Hares, start work early in the morning and can even end late at night. So you can fix your schedule today by going to bed early. Or you can work with us and just muddle through." 

My face twitched at her black company's working standards, and I said teasingly. "You know... Maybe I should try to become an army cook or something. I bet Section Six would happily take me in. I heard Miss Miyabi is a wonderful boss as she let's most of her subordinates slack so long as they get their work done."

A moment of silence before Nicole choked, and she said hurriedly. "Haha! My bad Jake, I truly misspoke haha! Uhmmm, yeah, how about I pick up some food, and you can come cook for us after we get back from looking into that hollow?" 

I hummed and looking at my clock, I nodded and said more easily. "Yeah, that sounds good. Just send Billy to my address to come pick me up, I am going to be training today anyway."

Nicole and I continued talking with Anby speaking up through the background as apparently Billy was driving the Cunning Hare's personal shit-mobile, and after a bit more of talking I cut the call.

"Alrighty then... Let's see these so-called miracles of the Erd Tree." I muttered as I looked through the book which was radiating holy/divine energy with a glowing gold embossed Erd Tree on the front of the book.

And it didn't take me long to realize that this book wasn't just about direct Erd Tree spells and Golden Order spells. It also had 'spells' from the Crucible, as well as the Black Blade spell you got as a reward for killing Mallikith the Black Blade.

'What the hell in this world needs Destined Death to kill actually?' I thought in amusement. But in reality, I was still more interested in the Elden Star's spell and other holy order spells that I could cast to do damage at a distance.

And even more importantly, these spells... Were dog shit easy for me to learn besides the Black Blade spell, which touched upon the conceptual death infection using the Destined Death bound to the spell.

The rest of the spells? The crucible spells to summon a dragon tail? My body wasn't even human to begin with. So, no issue there, and the holy spells' innate cost' was the requirement to channel my inner mana/energy into holy faith energy.

But seeing as there was no Erd Tree in this world that acted as the conduit and gatekeeper to perform these miracles. I was the conduit innately to do these spells and thus had no problem channeling the faith magic, even if it felt weird to perform 'magic' through prayer towards myself.

So with that, after a moment of thought, I decided to head towards the Hollow Investigative Association to use their full dive VR systems to test my abilities in earnest. 

"And while I am going through Sixth Street... Maybe I should pop into Random Play as well. It could be interesting to see the so-called protagonists of this world." I mused to myself.