Gatcha Life is for me! Chapter 9 (Patreon)

It didn't take too long for us to get to a nice hotel room. And with the money we had from clearing that dungeon, we were straight-up bing chilling in bed while the TV played some boring hospital drama in the background.

"Daaarling? Whatcha thinking about?" Meta Taihou asked with a long, drawn-out whisper of affection as she tickled my the back of my head with her fingernails.

As for the front of my head, my face was currently very busy, buried within her tits as I was still kinda just done for the day.

I made a rather dull murmur into said heavenly pillows, with Taihou letting out an indulgent hum before she said, amused. "Very well then my love. I totally agree with you."

I was silent as I hadn't actually said anything... I was really hoping that Taihou was just agreeing to agree and not, like, thinking I said some radical opinion she was going to then follow.

But heaven's forbid if a man just turns their brain completely off and categorically refused to actually think about anything.

But finally, with a hum, I popped myself out of the titty pillow heaven to speak, actually. "I was doing my best not to think about anything, honestly."

Then, with a grunt, I gave Taihou's waist a light poke before I said pointedly. "No plans of genocide Taihou... Unless its world invaders or we are clearing a dungeon/realm. Then some genocide is good."

Taihou in turn just giggled with her taking advantage of my face not being buried in her tits now to push herself down to snuggle up with me. And lay her ear on my chest to listen to my heartbeat.

And after she got comfy, she then spoke in a slow measured tone. "Do you want to clear more dungeons, then, my love? Because Taihou will happily kill anyone you point her towards ufufu." 

Ignoring her all-too-literal promise to murder the fuck out of anyone I pointed at. I took a long breath before I took out the Mantis Serum and said helplessly. "Just keep an eye on me for a bit. I am going to do something easily argued to be very stupid."

Taihou's eye's snapped up towards me with a look of confusion just as I stabbed myself with the large needle and hit the plunger with my thumb to send the glowing blue essence of Benares into myself.

The moment Benares's essence hit my bloodstream it felt like a whole rainbow of different mad energy coursed through my veins as I gritted my teeth. Because pain? Pain was something that happened your nerves screamed at you that something was wrong.

I didn't know you could actually 'feel' your brain as my body locked up as all to quickly the Mantis Serum spread through my body as the honkai energy tore through it just as well.

"Darling, what did you inject yourself with!?" Taihou hissed as she looked at me with horror as the spot where I injected the serum violently cracked, with icy blue and purple energy leaking from the cracks in my skin.

I couldn't explain much at this point. I just gritted my teeth and said. "I am being changed... By a reward I got."

And that was all I could get out. My vision turned not white or dark from losing consciousness. I wish I could be knocked out, as I could feel my soul being elevated and torn apart, and healed all at the same time by this serum.

No, my very eyes were changing as the Honkai flooded my body.

I couldn't help but think that maybe I should have just flopped in front of the hospital Panacea worked at to see if she could have helped. But that would have opened a whole new can of worms that could have complicated my life.

-

Taihou kept asking if we needed to call for an ambulance, but I likewise kept shaking my head until finally the Mantis Serum truly started to enhance my body physically. And I finally lost consciousness as it felt like a bolt of lightning was stabbed into my spine and skull.

I had no idea how long it took, but eventually I awoke to the wonderful feeling of lying on my stomach and my head feeling especially heavy.

"Ughhhh." I groaned emphatically as I felt like a boiled crab who had just been dropped into an ice bath before being taken out and beaten with a hammer to get the meat out of.

That wasn't even a euphemism either. I had broken bones before doing fun things in both of my lives. Trying to jump a trash can with a homemade dirt ramp with a mountain bike led to a good broken arm and a broken collarbone at the same time.

And even with the bones having been set and after a few weeks of healing you could feel how weak the connection was. It felt like that across my whole skeleton. My muscles weren't doing any better as I was under some heavy sensory overload and could likewise feel muscles I didn't know I had.

I went from being the 'cool kid' who could move his ears and leveled up to being able to now feel and articulate the muscles on his sides and move each particular abdominal muscle on my abs.

But my extremely sore episode was interrupted as Taihou's very unamused voice rang out. "Darling, would you care to explain to your loving wife what you just injected yourself with? And made your adoring Taihou watch you go through a day and a half of seizures for?" 

I tried to roll over onto my back but a hand fell on my side with Taihou's hands gently helping me sit up as she said helplessly. "You can't lay on your back so easily now Jake. Your new horns will peirce through the bedding. And you already shredded the pillows."

As I finally opened my eyes, I could definitely see alot better. Strictly speaking, it wasn't just my vision getting better but my entire body being upgraded.

"Horns? Ah, shit, it seems the Mantis Serum gave me more obvious Honkai Beast features." I muttered helplessly. 

Then I took a deep breath before I spoke more seriously. "I used something called a Mantis Serum. Which is a serum made from the refined essence from an extremely powerful monster called a Honkai Beast. Of which, this beast was basically a 'demi-god' class beast."

I then slowly stretched with my body audibly crackling as I said. "Let me see how my body has changed Taihou. Please help me to the bathroom if my walking is unsteady."

And after moving to the bathroom with Taihou's help because my entire body felt new and unbearably sore to say the least. I paused at the sight of myself in the mirror in front of me.

'Ok! Good news is that I am not as mutated as our dear ancestor, Kevin Kaslana. But I kinda have a bit of Ganyu from Genshin's vibe?' I mused helplessly.

As the power of Benares had indeed transformed my previously dirty blond hair into sharp, icy blue hair, and I had dark horns atop my head with regal purple and red veins that I could see glowing ever so slightly.

"Do... I look too weird?" I coudn't help but ask as I gingerly touched my surprisingly sensitive horns atop my head.

Taihou pressed herself into my back. Her massive milkers squashed against my back as her hands trailed up and down my chest seductively as she whispered. "No, of course not my darling. I can't wait for you lay upon my bosom again, and I can stroke those beautiful horns!"

'Alrighty Taihou is getting freaky.' I thought as I carefully grabbed the roaming hands that were inspecting my body.

I cleared my throat and I tried to get things on track then. "Ok Taihou, let's get me back to bed so I can check on the new's. See if there is any new news about my parents. And... Honestly, probably doordash some food as I am starving."

A giggle of joy left Taihou before she literally lifted me up and carried my back to bed where she laid down with my face atop her breast and she then helpfully grabbed my cellphone from the bedside table and handed it over to me.

"I even made sure to charge your phone for you darling when I saw it was getting low." Taihou whispered to me with a giggle.

But I also realized that she probably went through my phone while I was unconcious. But fuck it. Taihou's hot to crazy scale level was over nine thousand so I coudn't be bothered.

With my parent's being outed as having dealings with world invading vampire nobles from Warhammer Fantasy. My previous social life was utterly dead in the water at this point.

After searching through the new's for a bit however... There was nothing for me to find sadly. Or at least nothing was being publicly released nor way there any news about me and Taihou besides the previous incident.

So it seemed that the PRT hadn't put a warrent out for us after the Entity gave us a pass as it were.

But in the back of my head I felt like something was chasing me besides those vampires and their ilk... Maybe another waifu was making their way here to this world?

Still with a hum, I spoke quietly. "I am going to need a couple days to rest Taihou. But after I am done resting, we should go take care of another dungeon. So that I can test and see what kind of powers I got." 

I then shuddered as Taihou gently stroked one of my horns as she said softly. "Of course darling. Take all the time you need. And when the time comes, spill as much blood as you desire." 

And after but a couple of minutes of head and horn stroking I quickly passed out to the sounds of the delighted Taihou holding in her own mad giggles.

A couple of days passed by in a flash, and I was able to remotely sign all the paperwork for clearing another lesser dungeon which was filled with large monstrous bugs instead of beastmen this time.

Such monster's were easily dealt with, paid decently due to how huge the numbers were. And most importantly, no one would give a shit what we did so long as we didn't touch the realm core.

And more importantly, seeing as our 'Cape' identities were solid I didn't care about driving my car up to the fortified dungeon entrance's zone and just literally taking the license plate off after parking.

Because fuck you Armsmaster, I wasn't going to just wait for you to come inspect my car's plates to 'unmask' me to harass me, seeing as Taihou and I weren't actually Parahumans.