Duets I Love (Patreon)

Next month is The World Cup Of Duets. Nominations are on the 13th and 14th - so in a few days.

Here’s a peek at my own shortlist, from the very possible to the unlikely but interesting. I hope someone picks all of these, of course!

HIGHLY POSSIBLE

MANIC STREET PREACHERS - “Little Baby Nothing”: We’ve never really had anything (aside from the MASH cover) from the Manics’ early glammy stuff, so this (problematic?) hard rock ballad with Traci Lords is extremely tempting. Less overplayed than “Motorcycle Emptiness” and it ends with one of the great Manics refrains.

PITBULL ft KE$HA - “Timber”: One of the most gloriously dumb #1s of the 2010s, and a go-to pick if I want something modern. Ke$ha mainly does the chorus but she’s a presence throughout the song, vibing off Pitbull and egging him on.

SCRITTI POLITTI ft SWEETIE IRIE - “Take Me In Your Arms And Love Me”: Something about ragga really lends itself to duets - this is a fantastic romp through the Gladys Knight track, by all accounts done very quickly (and now almost forgotten). Green sounds like he’s having a lot of fun, Irie is as reliable as ever.

SERGE GAINSBOURG AND BRIGITTE BARDOT - “Bonnie And Clyde”: Gainsbourg has SO MANY great duets, you could pick three just from his stuff with B.B. - this is the obvious pick, but that string arrangement.... It’s sexier than “Je T’Aime”, too.

MIGHT PICK IF NOBODY ELSE DOES

BELLE AND SEBASTIAN - “Lazy Line Painter Jane”: It’s one of their best songs, and because the duet (with Monica Queen) was uncredited, there is a surprise value when she comes barnstorming in which isn’t entirely lost on repeat listens.

CHAKA DEMUS AND PLIERS - “Murder She Wrote”: The kings of the dancehall duet, the relay-race hand-offs on this are exquisite.

DENNIS EDWARDS AND SIEDAH GARRETT - “Don’t Look Any Further”: 80s soul does not get enough respect in the polls, but someone should put this smoulderer forward.

LADY GAGA AND BEYONCE - “Telephone”: Lots of Bey duets to choose from but this is the biggest pop monster for me. (I’m guessing both artists will feature a few times.)

METHOD MAN AND MARY J BLIGE - “You’re All I Need To Get By” / GHOSTFACE KILLAH FT MARY J BLIGE - “All That I Got Is You”: The two great solo Wu duets with Mary J Blige should both be picked by someone - Method’s is one of the great rap love songs; Ghostface’s pushes into areas of sentimentality which maybe shouldn’t work but his conviction is so total they do. Mary anchors both terrifically, especially the Ghostface one.

SERGE GAINSBOURG AND JANE BIRKIN - “69 Annee Erotique”: This is the SG/JB duet to pick, not its more famous cousin. It’s got a better tune and it’s a lot funnier.

WOMACK AND WOMACK - “Love Wars”: I dunno if people think ‘duet’ when they think of “Love Wars”, but they surely think “one of the greatest, most claustrophobic records of the 20th century” so that’s probably OK.

OUTSIDERS

AZTEC CAMERA - “Good Morning Britain”: This came randomly on a playlist a few weeks ago and I found myself ambushed by unexpected emotion, as they say. I probably won’t nominate it for this - the duet elements aren’t the most interesting parts.

ELAINE PAIGE AND BARBARA DICKSON - “I Know Him So Well”: OH SO GOOD. Someone will snap this up I suspect. The epitome of a not that song which is nonetheless an awesome duet.

FELT - “Primitive Painters”: Included partly because I’ve gone back and forth on whether it even is a duet - Liz Fraser isn’t actually doing much here aside from backing vocals… but it’s a hell of a backing vocal. Someone will probably go for it.

FREDDIE MACGREGOR AND SNAGGA PUSS - “This Carry Go Bring Come (Chatty Chatty)”: In the pros column, this absolutely bangs and I want more people to hear Snagga Puss, the dancehall MC whose entire gimmick is toasting in the voice of Snagglepuss. In the cons column, I have to admit that Snagga Puss actually is as annoying as that sounds.

MICKEY AND SYLVIA - “Love Is Strange”: Somebody is bound to pick this - I HOPE - the duet part is adorable and funny but the arrangement and that guitar tone is the real killer element.

PETER COOK AND DUDLEY MOORE - “Bedazzled”: It would help if I knew who the actual duet partner is on this (it is not Dudley Moore). “You fill me with inertia.”

PUNJABI MC ft JAY-Z - “Mundian To Bach Ke (Beware Of The Boys)”: There are plenty of Jay-Z guest spots which wouldn’t count, but on this he’s all over the song, darting in between Punjabi’s ululating vocal lines, and he’s great.

QUEEN LATIFAH AND MONIE LOVE - “Ladies First”: Do we all love Queen Latifah? Yes. Do we all also love Monie Love? Yes. This is a gift-wrapped nomination IMO.

SAINT ETIENNE - “I Was Born On Christmas Day”: An outsider only because we’re doing an Xmas poll in December so I’m much more likely to pick it for that. The duet parts are wonderful though - so conversational: “I don’t think you’ll recognise this town”.

WEST END GIRLS ft MAGNUS CARLSON - “What Have I Done To Deserve This?”: The PSB/Dusty track has been excluded due to prior strong performance, but this teenpop gender-flip is eligible, just saying.

ZEBRA KATZ ft NJENA REDDD FOXXX - “Ima Read”: Very unlikely to pick it but this was one of the modern rap tracks which felt like ice water in the face when I first heard it - super minimal and poised.

ARE THEY EVEN DUETS?

THE JUSTIFIED ANCIENTS OF MU MU - “Whitney Joins The JAMS”: I would argue this is totally structured as a duet, albeit an unwilling one. A duet about making a duet, even. One of the most joyfully silly things they ever did.

OL DIRTY BASTARD ft KELIS - “Got Your Money”: I initially thought, oh, of course that’s a duet, but… is it? Kelis only sings the hook - on the other hand, the singers are definitely singing to each other. I dunno. We’ll find out when someone picks it!

PUBLIC ENEMY - “Party For Your Right To Fight”: The twin channel Flav/Chuck rapping the same lines is an amazing effect that wouldn’t remotely have the same impact if they were solo or even trading lines.

NOT GOING TO PICK IT BECAUSE IT’S BY AN ARSEHOLE, SIGH

JORDIN SPARKS AND CHRIS BROWN - “No Air”: This isn’t just the only great thing by Chris Brown I’ve ever heard, it’s one of the best stupidly epic pop duets of its decade. Would get frozen out though, and quite right too.

AND LOADS OF OTHERS...

Phils Bailey and Collins, Miguel and Mariah, Dre and Eminem, Brandy And Monica, loads of tracks which someone else will certainly snap up. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'll try and write some previews up again.