Future Snapshot (Don’t) Watch Me (Patreon)

After their first time, Jimin is a little apprehensive to go watch porn with Jeongguk again. He couldn’t control himself last time, he had just let lust take over, which resulted in this mess of a situation.

Jeongguk is very persistent, though. He gives him those pretty puppy eyes and the slight nod to the recording room, trying to get him to give in again.

Jimin has his excuses ready, he tries not to be at home at the same time, or to call someone or have plans whenever they’re off, but that just makes Jeongguk more persistent.

It’s the one thing he hadn’t expected. Jeongguk has never been communicator. He’s always fine and he never has problems and he doesn’t mind anything. So, Jimin had expected him to be the more distant one, but no.

Jeongguk now even comes to his room, asking him if he wants to record something with that red blush dusting over his cheeks. Jimin feels it tug on his heartstrings but he knows they shouldn’t do it again. Realistically.

It should be just a one time thing. Well, actually it shouldn’t even have been that, but they’re past that now. If they decide to keep doing this, it’s going to get messy and probably painful for the both of them.

But that is all realistically. Delusionally, Jimin can barely resist when Jeongguk grabs his wrist and tugs him gently in the direction of the recording room. Delusionally, he thinks about how they’ll fall in love and everything will be perfectly fine.

It gets worse after about a month.

Jeongguk is so, so touchy with him. When they’re just in the living room of the dorm, Jeongguk is always circling around him like a hungry hyena, touching his waist, his lower back, closing him in, back hugging him, or just hugging him, sitting on his lap, breathing in his hair; to the point where he gets bombastic side eyes from the other members.

Jeongguk doesn’t notice it, but the members all regard Jimin as the responsible one. They expect Jimin to tell him no, to show him boundaries. But he can’t. Because he’s all warm and tingly with the attention, and selfishly, he wants to enjoy it to the fullest.

Because he knows they can’t continue with this. It’s an unhealthy relationship. There is a slight power dynamic, Jeongguk hasn’t been with a girl yet, they’re public figures, and it isn’t like their country is known for being accepting of homosexuality.

So in every single way, it’s a terrible, terrible idea to go down this path.

But it’s been so long, and Jeongguk is playing with his hair, nose against his neck, another hand on his thigh.

“Wanna watch porn?”

Jeongguk asks then, not even hiding it anymore.

Jimin feels his cheeks burn, body temperature rising as he looks around the empty living room. There are no side eyes telling him to be responsible, no one is chaperoning them, there are no witnesses to this incident.

Jimin swallows as he nods, and Jeongguk all but drags him away to the small secluded room.

However, when Jeongguk closes the door, Jimin feels panic take the best of him, and he puts his hands on Jeongguk’s shoulders to stop him from coming any closer.

“Maybe- maybe we shouldn’t.”

Jeongguk blinks at him.

“Why not?”

Fuck. Jeongguk looks so innocent and naive and Jimin doesn’t want to burst his bubble, but he has to.

“It isn’t right. We’re both guys, the company wouldn’t allow it, and if we keep doing this one of us will get hurt, and then the team has to cope with that.”

He explains, seeing a slight frown appear on Jeongguk’s face.

“Why do you assume one of us gets hurt?”

Jimin looks from one eye to the other, sees that hopefulness, that cute sparkle in those dark brown eyes.

“It always happens in situations like this.”

He explains, but Jeongguk just huffs.

“How can you know that?”

He asks, and technically, Jimin doesn’t really have an answer for that. It’s just common sense, these circumstances will lead to disaster.

“It’s just, one of us will want more, while the other doesn’t.”

He says, taking his hands off Jeongguk’s shoulders, folding his arms.

Jeongguk takes that as a chance to step closer, his hand curling around his waist.

“You don’t want more?”

He asks, looking at him with a burning passion, melting Jimin in the best way.

He feels heat rush up to his face, his heartbeat steadily increasing as Jeongguk stares him down, waiting for an answer.

“I.. I do, but-“

“I want more too.”

Jeongguk says, pulling him closer by his waist.

Jimin can’t even pretend he doesn’t like it; his breath hitches, and he puts his hand on Jeongguk’s chest in a reflex, feeling how fast the younger’s heart is beating, not unlike his own.

“But you- you’re still young and-“

“Stop saying that as if I can’t make rational decisions.”

Jeongguk says, squeezing his waist, intense gaze making Jimin a little shy.

“I like you, hyung.”

Fuck.

Jimin replays the sentence a few times, feeling butterflies in his stomach, eyes wide. Jeongguk has never said something like that before, not even as friends.

“If you like me too, isn’t that enough to at least try?”

Jeongguk asks, no idea how he’s turning Jimin’s world upside down. He thought he’d be the one in this situation. He thought he’d be the one asking for Jeongguk’s love. It’s a little dizzying, how Jeongguk is now standing before him so bravely, asking for a chance.

So, Jimin nods, even if it is the heat of the moment. Even if it’s those little butterflies making the decision for him. Even if, realistically, he knows it will be so fucking tough to get through this. All of that doesn’t matter when Jeongguk looks at him like this, holds him like he’s precious.

“But, it’s not going to be easy. We need to discuss- mmh!”

He’s shut up by Jeongguk’s lips on his own, kissing him hungrily, like he just can’t hold it anymore. Jimin can’t even kiss back for a few seconds, trying to process what’s going on, and then he breaks the kiss.

“You- you understand what I’m saying right?”

“Yeah. Kiss first, discuss later.”

Jeongguk whispers, closing the distance again.

This time, Jimin doesn’t fight it. He just lets his eyes fall closed and sighs into the kiss, letting himself be devoured by his dongsaeng. And with every passionate kiss, every bite on his lower lip, every lick into his mouth, he slowly forgets all about the future and just lets himself enjoy this moment.