Straight Until Proven Gay (kissing doesn’t count) • Chapter 5 • 6.3K (Patreon)

< Chapter 4

Enjoy this rollercoaster 💕

———————

He wishes he didn’t know.

The similarities, he can see them now.

Though he is significantly older, he can see it now.

Mr. Park really is Jimin’s dad.

It’s the shape of the face, so similar. The same proportions. The cheeks, the eyes, nose, eyebrows, lips, all in the same place. Even the shape of the eyes are similar.

He imagines him with bleach blonde hair, and his eyebrow starts to twitch.

It’s uncanny.

When Mr. Park notices his staring and smiles at him, it’s the same eye-smile that Jimin has.

Jeongguk can barely smile back, rushes to focus on his work.

At least Jimin’s dad is nice. Jimin could probably learn a thing or two from him.

———————

When he leaves the college ground, his eyes land on a girl just outside the fence. The closer he gets, the more recognises her. He stops in his tracks, but she’s already seen him.

“Jeon Jeongguk.”

Jae.

She does not look happy.

“Yun Jaeyeon.”

He hasn’t seen her for some time, but the way she’s glares is a familiar sight. He braces himself as he walks up to her, clenches his jaw.

“Why did you not tell your mom that we broke up?”

Oh, fuck. He completely forgot.

“She came to my apartment and saw me with-“

Jae stops in the middle of her sentence, eyes widening.

“Minwoo.”

He finishes for her.

She looks down, black hair blowing in her face. Maybe she does feel some sort of remorse.

“And I had to explain her we broke up. She’s not happy Jeongguk.”

He knows he should probably apologise, but instead he’s bitter.

“I’m sorry she ruined your quality time.”

It’s bad isn’t it? To sort of like that his mom found out that way. To feel a hint of satisfaction knowing that Jae had to deal with that.

“Don’t act like that. You didn’t want me, so I left.”

“Left? You cheated on me.”

Jae clicks her tongue.

“There was basically no relationship left between us. We only fought in the end. You don’t even like girls.”

Jeongguk pinches the bridge of his nose, shakes his head at the fucking audacity.

“Hate to break it to you, you’re just not my type.”

Jae chuckles humourlessly, shakes her head.

“That’s why you’re still single? Hanging out with Taehyung everyday? Heard you went to Sway too.”

How the fuck does she know that? Jeongguk keeps his face impassive, but he feels his heart beat faster.

“I made out with a girl there, did you happen to hear that too? Is Minwoo spying on me?”

Unbelievable. He hasn’t seen her in what? A month? And it’s the same fucking song all over again.

She waves her hand in dismissal.

“He’s got better things to do. I only wanted to say that I told your mom we broke up. Can you please tell her to leave me alone?”

Jeongguk sighs. It would actually be more convenient if his mom kept bothering Jae instead.

“You could have told me over the phone, saved you the effort of coming here.”

“I’m not here for you.”

Oh.

Oh right, Minwoo is still in college as well.

Jae has a hard time hiding how funny she thinks it is. Barely hides her smile behind her hand.

He’s so not going to tell his mom to stop bothering her. Maybe he’ll even let her send arranged marriage proposals? Or is that a little too far?

He just walks around her, feeling jealous despite not even wanting her back.

“Jeongguk?”

He looks over his shoulder.

“I might have told your mom that you’re gay.”

What the fuck.

Panic suddenly takes the best of him, and he’s about to grab Jae by the shoulders and ask her what the fuck she was thinking, but then Minwoo appears. So he just stands there, clutching his backpack strap, watching Minwoo pull her into an embrace and kiss right in front of his eyes.

He wants to lash out, but he’s too shaky for it right now. If his mom thinks he’s gay, it’s going to be incredibly bad. So instead he just turns on his heel and leaves.

He’s got to find a girlfriend, quick.

———————

Coming home to Taehyung and Jimin kissing is not a first. But it is a first since they had a falling out. And it’s also the first time they don’t notice him coming home.

He’s still on edge, heartbeat in his throat, scenarios playing in his head of how his mom will absolutely murder him for breaking up with Jae. Possibly disown him if she thinks he’s gay.

And then there’s Park Jimin on his couch as well. With his bleach blonde hair. Kissing Taehyung like he didn’t make him feel like shit just a week ago.

Jeongguk just stares.

Like a creep.

He just stands there and stares at how they kiss.

When it used to happen, he would turn his head immediately, or they would stop. He’s never actually seen the two of them kiss like this.

Never seen the way Taehyung completely gives in, lets Jimin take the lead. The way Jimin cups Taehyung’s jaw, licks into his mouth. The way he tilts his head, leans in over him. How he takes his time with it, to tease with his tongue, and bite Taehyung’s lower lip.

If he had the chance, he’d ravish Jimin’s lips.

There’s an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach as he watches how their lips melt together. He recognises it as jealousy. He’s jealous that he doesn’t have it, doesn’t have anyone who kisses him like that.

He’s about to pretend he just walked in when Jimin’s eyes open. With his lips still on Taehyung’s, his eyes find his.

Jeongguk stands there, busted. His cheeks burn up as Jimin breaks the kiss and gives him the up-and-down.

“Enjoying yourself?”

“I just- I didn’t know you two made out- made out- made up.”

Fuck.

He excuses himself, walking towards the kitchen because he doesn’t want to deal with Jimin right now.

“You didn’t? And you’re always so up in my business..”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. He’s in the kitchen without a motive really, just stands there, looking into an almost empty fridge. He closes it and paces around.

“Did my mom show up here?”

He asks. It’s directed at Taehyung but Jimin is apparently feeling like a fucking smart-ass today.

“Wouldn’t know what she looks like.”

“That’s funny, I know exactly what your dad looks like.”

He gathers from Taehyung’s confused expression that he doesn’t know about Jimin’s dad teaching at their uni. Which is interesting, given the fact they’ve been together for a few months now.

Taehyung never mentioned meeting Jimin’s parents.

Does Jimin’s dad know he’s gay?

Jimin glares at him from the couch, that simmering hatred he’s come to know. He kind of likes how it feels, burning on his skin, can barely hide his smirk.

“Your mom? Why would she- did you tell her you broke up?”

Taehyung asks then, sitting up straight and moving Jimin off of him. Jimin blinks, looks between the both of them.

“She went to Jae’s place, saw her with Minwoo. Jae just told me.”

“Oh god, that’s bad.”

Taehyung rubs over his forehead.

“You think she’ll come here?”

Jeongguk sighs, nods.

“Jae also.. told her that I’m gay? So she’s.. she’s definitely stopping by.”

“She did what?!”

Taehyung stands up too, hands in his hair. It’s about as bad for him as it is for Jeongguk. Especially since his mother doesn’t know Taehyung is gay. They’ve hidden it for so long.

Jimin just sits on the couch, brows furrowed.

“Your mom is not an ally I assume.”

He says then, making the hand gesture.

Taehyung groans.

“She’s like Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter.”

Jimin’s face turns from confusion to disgust.

“Gross.”

“Man what the fuck? Why did Jae have to do that shit?”

Taehyung paces around.

Jimin crosses his legs and arms, cracks his neck, looks at his nails.

“Your ex sounds all kinds of fun.”

Sarcasm drips from his tone, and Jeongguk just rolls his eyes.

“Oh yeah, she’s just like you, a fucking delight to be around.”

Jimin looks up from his nails.

“Guess you do have mommy issues.”

“Jimin.”

Taehyung shushes him, just in time because Jeongguk is ready for a fucking argument. He wants to get under Jimin’s skin.

They just stare at each other for a little longer. Jimin quirks an eyebrow at him, victorious smirk on his lips. likes that he’s had the last word, Jeongguk bets.

Jimin flips his hair out of his face then.

“So, what’s the deal with Mrs. Jeon? Not enough sex?”

“That. And she’s homophobic.”

Jeongguk only lets it slide because Taehyung’s already answered.

“Runs in the family.”

Jimin mutters under his breath.

Now that, he won’t let slide.

“Okay can you just wrap your mind around this: I’m not a homophobe, I just hate your fucking guts.”

“Guys-“

Taehyung tries to come between but Jimin scoffs.

“Have you ever considered I’m not calling you a homophobe for how you behave towards me, but for how you’re dealing with yourself?”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen at that, something inside of him snaps. But he can’t give it time because the sound of the doorbell goes.

They’re all silent.

Taehyung gives him a look, asking him if he’s gonna open the door. So he nods.

“Act straight.”

He hears Taehyung tell Jimin when he walks to the door.

When he opens it, he doesn’t even have time to look into his mother’s eyes. A slap in the face is the first thing he gets.

“How dare you.”

“Hello mom-“

“Don’t hello mom me.”

No hello mom it is then.

He looks at her, hasn’t seen her in months. Whenever he has a girlfriend she stays away. But now he has to look at her again. She’s always been so proper. From her black hair to her tailored dress to her red heels, chin up in the air.

He wishes he looked nothing like her, but when he looks at the outline of her nose, her big brown eyes, it’s familiar.

She shakes her head.

“I can’t believe you. Jaeyeon was perfect, she had everything. A good family, good looks, a good income, you just had to go and destroy it.”

Jeongguk swallows, clenches his jaw. She can’t come inside. One look at Jimin and she’ll drop dead.

“Should we walk for a bit?”

“Nonsense. I’m here by taxi, I’m not walking in these shoes.”

“I’ll drive you back home then.”

She shakes her head in disappointment.

“Where are your manners?”

She walks past him inside, and Jeongguk takes a deep breath, prepares for the worst.

He doesn’t want Jimin to see his mom. Nor Taehyung, really. But Taehyung knows her, knows how to behave around her. Jimin never knows how to behave.

So when he follows his mother inside the house, it surprises him that Taehyung is nowhere around, and Jimin in the kitchen, making tea. When he turns around he smiles brightly.

“Ah, you must be Mrs. Jeon.”

Jeongguk swallows, can see his mom judging him from a distance, sizing him up, staring at his boots, his skinny jeans, his hair.

Jimin doesn’t budge though.

“I was just making some tea, would you like to join?”

He’s doing his absolute best to be polite, and it somehow shocks Jeongguk a little bit.

“Who is this Jeongguk?”

She asks, as if Jimin isn’t right in front of her. Then again, she might be going into cardiac arrest thinking Jimin is his boyfriend.

Which would be terrible of course..

He wants to answer, but Jimin is faster.

“I’m a friend of Jeongguk, and the cousin of Ji-woo, you must have heard all about her.”

Jeongguk blinks, doesn’t know what the fuck he’s on about.

Jimin’s eyes widen.

“Oh Jeongguk, haven’t you told your mother about your girlfriend?”

Girlfriend?

Oh. Fake girlfriend. Not the best move, but better than his mom thinking he’s gay.

She turns to look at him, a little bit baffled.

“What is he talking about?”

Jeongguk looks between the both of them, rubs the back of his head. Jimin makes a rapid hand gesture for him to just fucking go with it.

“Yeah, things with Jae ended because I fell in love with Ji-woo.”

Whoever that is. Actually? Isn’t that Hoseok’s little sister?

“That is not what Jaeyeon told me.”

His mom says, voice strained. He knows she’s trying to imply that he’s gay, even though she can’t say it out loud in the presence of Jimin.

“Because she doesn’t know.”

He says, guiding his mother to the table to take a seat.

Where the hell is Taehyung? He’s way better at lying than he is.

“And where is she? I’d like to meet her right away.”

Fuck. He should have known this wouldn’t work, his mom is not a fool.

“Jeongguk was about to pick her up from work.” Jimin says, handing him the car keys. “Weren’t you?”

He’s got no fucking clue what Jimin is doing, but he has no choice but to play along. His mom is looking at him, scanning his face for any sign of deceit.

“Yeah, I’ll pick her up, then.”

He says, trying to sound sure of himself.

“Good, I’ll keep Mrs. Jeon company.”

Oh god.

He gives Jimin a look, but Jimin just smiles, already putting tea cups on the table.

Jeongguk walks out, completely clueless. Is the plan to just find a random girl who wants to play his girlfriend? Is Jimin poisoning his mother in there?

He gets to his car, and then feels his phone buzzing in his pocket.

“Taehyung what the fuck is going on?”

“I have a plan.”

Taehyung whispers from the other end.

“Yeah you better have one? Jimin just made me lie to my mom about having a girlfriend-“

“It’s gonna be fine. I asked Hoseok’s sister to be your fake girlfriend and she agreed. I sent you her location, just pick her up.”

“You what?!”

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“This is so bad, Tae, this is fucked up-“

“You’ll be fine. You know how Ji-woo is, she agreed right away for you. And I know your mom will absolutely love her.”

Jeongguk bumps his head agains the wheel and groans. This is by far the weirdest situation he’s ever been in. Jimin is drinking tea with his mom, and he’s about to play the boyfriend of Ji-woo.

“What about Hoseok?”

“He doesn’t know yet, but he knows what your mom is like.”

That’s true.. Hoseok will forgive him probably. It’s not like his mom likes to see skinship or anything. He doesn’t have to kiss or touch her.

“What about you? Where even are you?”

“I’m just in my room, eavesdropping on Jimin and your mom so that I can send Ji-woo the whole story Jimin is making up about you two. I won’t be coming out. Literally, haha.”

Jeongguk takes a deep breath, shakes his head a few times.

“This is insane.”

“Go get her before your mom finds out Jimin is gay.”

“Fine. Fuck. Where is she at?”

———————

He’s out of breath before they even enter the house. It’s a plus that Ji-woo has always been so easy to get along with, so it does help when she squeezes his hand a tightly to reassure him.

“We’ll pull this off, just remember what I told you. Taehyung sent me the whole story through text.”

He nods, looks at her once more. She dressed up for this, looks her absolute best. He knows for sure she’s to his mother’s taste. Doesn’t look anything like Jimin though, but that’s fine. Cousins don’t have to look alike.

“Okay, yeah.”

He takes another deep breath, then takes her inside.

What he walks into, is something he would have never guessed.

His mother is laughing. She’s laughing with Jimin.

Surely, this must be a dream.

“Is that true darling?”

Darling. His mom just called Jimin darling.

“Would I lie to you Mrs?”

She chuckles again, so indulged in whatever conversation the two of them are having. Jeongguk can barely close his jaw, can’t believe Jimin has got his mom wrapped around his little finger.

When Jimin’s eyes find his own, he has to hide the shock, so he just clears his throat. His mom turns around then, a slight red blush colouring her cheeks.

He spots a bottle of white wine on the table, finally understands why she’s in a good mood. But it’s a miracle she even consented to drink. She hasn’t touched alcohol in years. Jimin must have really persuaded her.

Normally, he’d be upset someone would give his mother alcohol, but now, it’s a blessing.

“Ah, Jeongguk, this must be Ji-woo.”

She stands up, and Ji-woo formally introduces herself.

Jeongguk finds that he’s still holding her hand out of sheer shock, and then slowly let’s go of it. Probably seems more believable anyway, so that’s good.

“Oh, how lovely. Come sweetheart, take a seat.”

His mother all but guides Ji-woo to the table, doesn’t even spare him a second glance. Oh, how much she would have loved to have a daughter instead.

Jeongguk just sits down at the table, still flabbergasted that Jimin managed to get his mom in this good of a mood. Honestly, he’s grateful, but he can’t bring it past his lips.

Jimin is just smiling along and listening to Ji-woo tell their completely made-up lovestory.

So charming. Fingers curled around the wine glass, pretty full lips stretching into a blinding smile, eyes almost disappearing into little crescents, speaking with such a soft tone, caressing through bleach blonde hair.

Captivating.

Jimin’s eyes meet his own then, and he’s reminded that he’s staring at his girlfriend’s cousin.

“Right Jeongguk?”

Ji-woo asks.

He’s got no clue what they’re talking about so he just nods, hoping that it’s enough.

His mother turns to look at him as well, smile slowly fading.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner? That would have saved me the embarrassment of meeting Yun Jaeyeon.”

“Sorry m-“

She holds up her hand to cut him off. He almost flinches.

“Well, it’s in the past. She obviously lowered her standards going out with Choi Minwoo.”

She laughs, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Do you know him?”

Jeongguk tilts his head.

“Oh yes. His parents are clients of mine. They have 3 sons. Choi Minwoo is the worst of them all; tattoos, piercings, and a criminal record.”

The criminal record seems to bother her the least.

“Ah, Mrs. Jeon must hate anything out of the ordinary.”

Jimin says then, everlasting smile on his face. Jeongguk swallows at the comment, bleach blonde hair in his peripheral.

“I have always preferred nothing too eccentric. If you want society to accept you, dress accordingly, act accordingly. Trying to be different is such a call for attention.”

Jeongguk suddenly hears himself echoing in his moms comments. Jimin’s eyes fly over to his own, and he feels a lump in his throat.

“Ah, yes. Jeongguk shares this opinion strongly.”

Ow.

He looks at Jimin for a few seconds, jaw clenching, tension building in his gut.

“Not that strongly.”

Shouldn’t have started.

Jimin raises his eyebrow, ready to get into it. His mother chuckles then, before Jimin can counter.

“He has come around a bit. Those phases he went through as a teen worried me.”

“Phases?” Jimin’s eyes light up. “Do tell.”

Oh no.

“Oh he was listening to those awful rock bands, growing his hair out, using my earrings as fake piercings. I had a hard time with him.”

“Oh.” Jimin’s grin is clearer than daylight. “I bet you must have. Jeonggukie in his rebellious phase.”

Jeongguk can’t bring himself to say anything moderately okay for his mom’s ears, so he just bites his tongue, tries to hide the absolute embarrassment and shame. He’s sure his ears are turning red, but he can’t hide them, hasn’t grown his hair out for years.

“Oh, the day he wanted a motorbike I just..”

His mom shakes his head in disappointment, rubs over her forehead as if it’s still causing her stress.

“Did he now?”

Jimin eats it all up with a twinkle in his eyes, looks over at him just to mock him, leaned in over the table.

He’ll kill him after this.

“Ah, but at least he has you now.”

His mom says to Ji-woo, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“You’ll make sure to keep him in line, won’t you sweetheart?”

“Of course Mrs. Jeon.”

Ji-woo smiles so prettily, she’s really selling herself.

“Good. Then I will take my leave. It was very nice to meet both of you, but I have a client waiting.”

She stands up, a little wobbly on the knees. Jeongguk reaches out to steady her, gets met by her cold gaze immediately. He almost braces himself for a slap, but can’t do that in front of Jimin and Ji-woo.

His mom also seems to realise Ji-woo and Jimin are still watching, so she composes herself.

“Well then. Send Taehyung my regards.”

“I will.”

He sees his mom out, watches her step into the taxi. As soon as he closes the door he just deflates like a balloon.

He walks back to the table, sits down next to Jiwoo.

Taehyung bursts into the room as soon as the taxi drives off in the distance.

“What the fuck, we pulled that off so well?”

He walks over to Jimin immediately, kisses him hard.

Jeongguk doesn’t have the decency to look away. Greedily taking in how those thick lips get kissed like they deserve. Must taste like wine.

“You were absolutely amazing. I’ve never heard Mrs. Jeon laugh in my life!”

Teahyung looks at Jeongguk as well, trying to see if he’s just as amazed. And he is, but it’s embarrassing. Because he doesn’t want to owe Jimin anything. He doesn’t want to thank him, doesn’t want to acknowledge that he’s the first person to make his mom pleasant to be around.

Instead of gratefulness he just feels an overwhelming amount of jealousy, bitterness, and anger. But he can’t show that right now.

“You three really pulled this off for me.” He says eventually. “Honestly, my mom would have probably gone into cardiac arrest if I didn’t have you as a fake girlfriend.”

Ji-woo smiles, looks just like her brother.

“Honestly, your mom seems kind of nice, it wasn’t a problem.”

She says, shrugging like it was no big deal.

“She’s not.”

Taehyung and he say in unison.

“Jimin really, you were so smooth. I couldn’t believe you got her to drink? And you sounded so straight. It was kind of hot?”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, doesn’t want to listen to Taehyung’s endless praise of Jimin. Instead he turns to Ji-woo, nods his head to the door.

“I’ll drive you home.”

“Already? She’s your fake girlfriend and you won’t even let her have some wine?”

Jimin asks, for some reason trying to meddle in his business. Jeongguk looks at him across the table, feels his blood start to boil already.

Ji-woo waves her hand dismissively.

“Oh, it’s fine I’m not actually-“

“Unlike you, I don’t just give alcohol to my guests carelessly.”

Jimin’s eyes shimmer with interest, he’s been on edge ever since Jeongguk’s walked in, something about him wants to fight, yearns for an argument. Jeongguk is ready for it.

“Hey now, don’t be like that. Jimin saved your ass, without the wine your mom would have been unbearable.”

Taehyung butts in.

Jeongguk is almost as disappointed as Jimin. He wants to fight, he wants to argue. And for some reason, Jimin seems to want him to.

“I’m bringing Ji-woo home.”

He says again, this time just takes his car key and takes Ji-woo by the hand.

“Maybe drive an extra round to cool down.”

Jimin calls when he walks out. Always needs to have the last word.

Jeongguk curses under his breath. If Ji-woo heard it at all, she doesn’t say anything about it.

———————

On the way back home he dreads it. He dreads seeing Jimin again, having to hang around him. He dreads it so much that he makes a U-turn and drives straight over to Hoseok’s place.

When he knocks on the door Hoseok opens up immediately.

“I heard you’re dating my sister?”

He blinks, panic bubbling up in his chest. But then Hoseok laughs and grabs him by the shoulder to pull him inside.

“I’m kidding, Ji-woo just texted me about it. And Tae.”

“Word spreads fast.”

“Always.”

Hoseok says, already walking to his fridge to grab him something to drink.

Jeongguk sighs, feels it coming from deep within, then just lets himself fall on Hoseok’s couch.

“That’s a deep sigh.”

“Mmh.”

He stares at the ceiling, listens to Hoseok’s footsteps nearing him. A cold beer presses against his cheek. He takes it.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, just didn’t want to go back home. So I thought I’d hang out with you, if you’re up for it.”

Jeongguk brings his beer to his lips, drinks until he cannot recall the taste on his tongue.

“Or do you already have plans for tonight?”

“Mm? Yeah, I’m going out later.” Hoseok looks at the clock. “But it’s early.”

“To Sway?”

“Yeah.”

“With Tae?”

“And Jimin.”

“Ah.”

Jeongguk drinks more just at the mention of him.

I’m not calling you a homophobe for how you behave towards me, but for how you’re dealing with yourself

He bites on his tongue, feels so bitter that the beer starts tasting sweet.

“Okay, not that I don’t love listening to you sigh and click your tongue, but maybe just tell me what’s up?”

Right. Hanging out at Hoseok while he’s feeling his absolute worst wasn’t really a good plan.

“I’m annoyed.”

“Shocker.”

“At Jimin.”

“It gets even crazier.”

Jeongguk sits up, looks at Hoseok’s lack of surprise. Fuck, he bitches about Jimin all the time doesn’t he? He groans, runs his hand through his hair.

“Let’s just watch music videos and drink. I didn’t come here to talk about my feelings.”

“You came to drink them away? You’re so unpredictable these days.”

“Shut up.”

A few beers in, and a couple of stupid arguments about music videos later, Hoseok starts getting ready to go out.

Jeongguk watches him pace around, trying on different outfits. He’s never known a man so obsessed with fashion. He thought Taehyung was bad, but Hoseok beats him to it.

He has so many different styles, fabrics, colours. And it all looks good on him too. To be honest, he only now notices how jealous he is of that. Seeing his mom again made him realise how he’s never been able to experiment with clothes past the age of 12.

“By the way, you’re coming too.”

Hoseok says, adjusting his bucket hat.

“Fuck no. I don’t want to see Jimin.”

“You don’t have to look at him. Just have fun. Last time you also had fun right? Without me?”

Jeongguk throws his head over the edge of the couch and groans.

“Why are you holding that against me? I told you that was a one-time-thing.”

“Well you’re making it a two-time-thing. Just meet some nice girls. You haven’t gotten laid since you broke up.”

He lifts his head to look at Hoseok, who’s still looking in the mirror, adjusting minor things on his outfit.

“How do you know that?”

“Taehyung told me you haven’t had anyone over, and you haven’t slept anywhere else.”

Jeongguk frowns.

“Why do you guys talk about if I got laid or not?”

“Because you’re easily irritable when you don’t have sex.”

Hoseok says.

Jeongguk has never heard that before. Does that mean he’s a dick, like, constantly? Until he gets laid?

For some reason he hasn’t really been thinking about sex. He can’t remember the last time he’s touched himself either. When did he last get hard? Wasn’t it in the locker room shower-

Oh.

“So, let’s go.”

Hoseok nudges him by the knee. Jeongguk pushes the embarrassing memory deep down, downs the last of his beer and gets up.

“I’m gonna regret this.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

———————

He’s regretting it. Like, painfully regretting it.

Apparently there’s some sort of 90’s hits list on tonight. Why do all the gays go crazy for 90’s hits? He watches from a corner how literally every single person in Sway is singing along, dancing along.

The more he stands there, the more he remembers how he’s actually not an extravert. He’s been pretending to be one for a long time, but to be honest, it’s getting quite tiring.

Hoseok has already found some of his friends. Jeongguk half introduced himself to them, but as it became apparent that he’s not gay, they lost interest quite quickly.

So he’s there again, at the bar, in his comfort corner, drinking beer.

He should really look for a good time, a nice girl to take his mind of everything, but he’s just not feeling it. As he looks down at his blue polo, brushes through his short black hair, he feels.. boring.

When he looks up, sees the guy working behind the bar with several piercings, he wonders for the first time in years if he would have looked like that if he hadn’t become everything his mother wanted.

Eyebrows, lip, ear piercings. He’s wanted them for so long. Tattoos, all the way around his arm, an entire sleeve. A motorcycle too, he’s wanted that for years.

“Jeonggukie, are sulking at the bar again?”

Taehyung nudges his shoulder, looks quite tipsy already.

“I’m not sulking, just having a beer.”

Taehyung eyes the 4 empty glasses in front of him.

“Well, 5 beers.”

He corrects himself.

“You’ve got to get up and dance, you look a little pathetic.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll dance with you.”

Taehyung pulls him from his bar stool and drags him over to the dance floor. It’s way too crowded, and he’s spilled half his beer over himself.

At least it’s.. kind of fun. Everyone in the club is so loud that it doesn’t matter if he sings along, because it’s so crowded, no one really watches them, no one really cares. And he’s a little tipsy himself so, fuck it.

The fun lasts for about 5 minutes until bleach blonde hair enters his peripheral. Jimin says something to Taehyung, and it annoys him to not be a part of the conversation.

Taehyung only gives him an apologetic smile before walking off somewhere, leaving him with Jimin.

It seems Jimin only notices him now, tilts his head in confusion. He says something to him, but the music drowns his voice out. Jeongguk makes a gesture that he has no clue what he’s trying to say.

Jimin steps in his personal space then, grabs him by his shoulder and waist.

“When did you get here?”

Jimin asks almost right against his ear.

Jeongguk’s breath hitches. He’s way too close. Can’t remember ever being this close to Jimin. He tries to take a step back, but Jimin just holds on to him.

“Like half an hour ago.”

Jimin lets go of his waist to point at his own ear, indicating he needs to get closer.

Jeongguk swallows, feels his hands get clammy, heartbeat rising in his chest. He leans closer then, way too aware of how his lips are almost brushing against Jimin’s earlobe.

“Half an hour ago.”

“With who?”

Jimin’s breath tickles against his skin, it makes all the hairs on his neck stand up straight.

“I’m- I’m with Hoseok.”

“Ah.”

Jimin nods then, face falling a little. Jeongguk wonders what’s up, but knows not to pry. Last time wasn’t really a succes. But he sure as hell is not going to dance with Jimin either, so he removes his hand off of his shoulder.

“I’m going to the bar.”

He nods his head into the direction of it. Jimin gives him a half nod, stares into the distance a little lost. So even though Jeongguk would really rather not spend time with him, he feels obliged to ask.

“Wanna have a drink?”

Jimin looks up, blinks away that sullen look, tries to give him that signature smile.

“Are you paying?”

For how good he usually is at faking emotions, he’s bad at faking this.

“Don’t know if I can pay for your expensive terrible beer.”

He says, leading Jimin to the bar anyway.

“Oh no, no beer tonight. I want something stronger.”

Jeongguk hums, takes a seat at the corner. Jimin sits down next to him, looks through the options of liquor on the shelf.

“Cocktail?”

He asks; Jimin seems like a mojito guy.

“Whiskey?”

Jimin asks instead.

“Whiskey?”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, orders two whiskey. Not that he particularly likes it, but he’s not going to lose to Jimin. And to be honest, any alcohol is good alcohol. At least it takes his mind off.

Like last time, Jimin drinks fast, holds his liquor well, not like Hoseok who falls asleep half-way in, or Taehyung who just gets nauseous. He is good drinking company.

“It was nice meeting your mom.”

Maybe not now, though.

“Don’t start.”

He says, but Jimin just shrugs and sloshes his whiskey around.

“No, really. I can see where you get it from.”

Jeongguk clenches his jaw, glares at Jimin as a warning.

There’s something off with Jimin today. He looks at him with an expression he can’t fathom, just like before at the kitchen table. Like he’s itching for a fight.

“I mean, you share a lot of the same views as her, really a mommy’s boy aren’t you?”

He is itching for a fight.

“What the fuck is up with you?”

“No wonder you’ve turned out like this, you must be trying so hard to get her approval.”

Jimin chuckles, shakes his head.

Jeongguk feels adrenaline rush through his body, anger filling his system. But he can’t fucking hit Jimin, because he’s Taehyung’s boyfriend. That’s the only reason he won’t hit him.

“Fuck you.”

He says instead, grabbing his glass and walking away.

Jimin doesn’t let him off so easily though, follows him, grabs him by the shoulder to turn him around.

“That’s why you’re like this right? So fucking stuck-up.”

Jeongguk yanks his arm back.

“Fuck off, I’m not here to be your fucking boxing ball. If you’re annoyed that Taehyung is having fun with other guys just sort your relationship out.”

Jimin’s eyes light up in the flashing lights.

“You think this is about that?”

“I know it’s about that. You’re fucking bad at hiding it.”

Jimin laughs, offended, steps closer.

“You’re always so concerned about our relationship hm?”

Jeongguk pokes his tongue in his cheek, doesn’t want to admit that he’s hoping they’ll break up.

“You know what Jeon? I’ll tell you again: our relationship is none of your fucking business.”

“Well neither is my relationship with my mom any of your fucking business.”

Jimin raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, on the contrary. I finally understand why you’re such a fucking dick to me. You’re just a loser without a backbone dying to get noticed by your-“

“Enough.”

He pulls Jimin close by his collar, glares at him. Jimin seems to revel in this, the mirth in his smile is poisonous.

“That’s it right? That’s why you hate me so much.”

“I don’t hate you.”

Jeongguk says it so fast that he surprises himself. Because if not hate, what the fuck is this feeling?

“No? Well you’re not doing a very good job of showing that. I tried my best to help you today because you seemed scared shitless of your mom. And you don’t show a fucking ounce of gratefulness. Instead you look at me like-“

“I’m jealous.”

There it is.

Jimin blinks.

Jeongguk feels his eyes prickle with tears, cheeks burning up in shame.

“My mom likes you despite what you look like, despite who you are. I’ve done everything she wanted and never gotten anything back.”

The words hit him like a truck, and he feels shaky right after.

“Oh” Jimin clicks his tongue, shakes his head. “Oh I’m supposed to feel sorry for you?”

“No I-“

“You ask your best friend to hide his true self just to save your own ass.”

Jimin says, properly glaring at him now. Jeongguk feels a lump in his throat.

“You don’t know how-“

“You’d rather have a fake girlfriend who has to deal with your mom’s shit than growing some fucking balls and standing up to her.”

“She’s not-“

“You’re trying so hard to get her approval that you’ve stripped yourself of any personality. And yet you’re still so fucking unhappy.”

“I’m not-“

“You’re just a coward.”

Jimin pushes him away.

Jeongguk feels himself shaking with anger, has never been pushed to the edge this much. But he can’t bring anything past his lips. He can’t say anything.

It’s true.

Jimin just looks at him a little longer, then shakes his head and sighs, walking away.

Jeongguk stands there on the dancefloor in the flashing lights, in between all these people around him who are so fucking different than himself, he feels like an alien.

He can’t take it a second longer.

He leaves the club.

—————

Chapter 6 >