Straight Until Proven Gay (kissing doesn’t count) • Chapter 9 • 5.3K (Patreon)

< Chapter 8

——————

It’s probably just because he hadn’t kissed anyone in so long.

It was probably just the alcohol.

It’s because Jimin’s lips looked feminine enough.

He wasn’t even thinking about Jimin, he was just thinking about kissing. In general.

Jeongguk swallows as he stands in front of Taehyung’s door, but doesn’t dare to knock. He has to though, he’s gonna have to. But he just stands there and his arm won’t move, he’s just leaning his head against the door.

Why the fuck did he kiss Jimin? Why the fuck did he kiss Taehyung’s ex? He knows enough of bro code to know that he’s fucked up big time. Even though they’ve broken up, it’s still code red. A big fucking no go.

His heart clenches with guilt but he can’t bring himself to move. It’s 5 in the morning and waking Taehyung up to something like this is just so.. it just doesn’t feel good.

That’s his excuse for now.

So he walks to his own room and crawls under the blankets to face a sleepless night. Telling himself tomorrow he’ll do it. Tomorrow he’ll face Taehyung, tomorrow he’ll have thought about it more and wouldn’t have to wake Taehyung up.

Yeah.

———————

He hasn’t slept at all.

Taehyung is smiling at him brightly when he hands him a glass of water.

“How was your date?”

Fuck.

He has to say it now. He has to tell Taehyung everything. This is the moment.

“I didn’t like her.”

He says, averting his gaze down to his glass.

“Huh? I thought she’d be exactly your type! I actually recommended her..”

Taehyung clicks his tongue in disappointment, sits down across of him.

Jeongguk swallows, his mouth is dry.

He’ll just start with sorry, something happened. No. Just direct, Jimin and I kissed. No. He can’t say it like that. Maybe something like sorry, I know I’m a complete idiot and I fucked up but- No, that sounds like he’s victimising himself.

“Then, why did you come home so late?”

Taehyung waits, and Jeongguk feels his stomach twist at the idea of answering that. Worse is, Taehyung grins a little bit when he doesn’t answer, pointing at him like he’s done something.

“You finally got laid didn’t you?”

Oh god.

Jeongguk feels himself tense up completely. This might be the worst he’s ever felt in his life. That cheeky grin on Taehyung’s lips, that short laugh when he says “I knew it!”

He’s about to ruin everything.

“I kissed your ex.”

He says, bracing himself.

Taehyung’s expression changes completely, his eyes wide, smile swept off his face.

It wasn’t worth it at all. He should have kept it for himself and taken it to his fucking grave.

“You mean Jimin?”

Jeongguk just keeps looking at him, feels his throat tighten, can’t bring anything past his lips. Fight or flight kicking in.

The silence is enough of an answer, because Taehyung’s eyes turn stone cold. Jeongguk’s seen the expression before but never had it directed at him, and it makes him shudder.

“What the fuck? You actually kissed Jimin?"

“I’m sorry-“

“Why would you.. I don’t- why would you do that?”

Taehyung asks, genuinely confused, and genuinely pissed.

“I don’t know- I don’t know what happened. We were drunk talking and standing close and-“

“You’re not even gay, why would you-“

“I don’t know! I just wanted to- I just wanted to know what it was like to-“

“To what? Kiss your best friend’s ex?”

Taehyung asks, squaring his jaw.

“No! I wanted to know what it was like to.. to kiss a guy.”

It’s not a great excuse. It’s actually terrible, now that he sees the way Taehyung’s eyebrows sink, receiving a hard glare that pierces right through his heart.

“So you just fucking used Jimin for a little experiment? Out of all people, it just had to be him?”

“No- that’s- no that’s not-“

“Save it. I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

Taehyung stands up and makes a beeline to his room. Jeongguk stands up too, grabs Taehyung by his wrist.

“Please, I’m sorry-“

“Don’t.”

Taehyung yanks his arm back and slams the door shut in Jeongguk’s face.

And what can he do? He just stands there like an idiot, just like yesterday night, knocking on his door to no avail.

———————

It’s not the first time he and Taehyung had a fight, but it’s heavier than anything Jeongguk has experienced up til now.

He doesn’t know how to get his act together. Taehyung won’t talk to him, no matter how long he knocks on his door, he even blocked him on the phone.

That, along with the thought of his kiss with Jimin haunts him. He feels like he’s not even really there, like a shell of himself as he goes through the motions.

It feels kind of like a dream, kissing Jimin. He was drunk enough to get a hangover but somehow still remembers everything down to the last detail. He knows that Jimin told him he was going to kiss him, that he could have said no. He can even still remember the feeling of Jimin’s tongue in his mouth, and that makes his ears turn red with shame.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. It’s been two days and Taehyung hasn’t looked at him. He hasn’t heard anything from Jimin, nor Hoseok. Today is volley training day, and he feels sick to his stomach as he walks into the changing rooms.

Sure enough, Hoseok is there, and he has clearly heard. Hoseok’s never been good at hiding his facial expressions, and anything but a smile on that face is fucking terrifying.

Jeongguk immediately makes his way over to him. Hoseok all but drags him out of the changing rooms into the gym, somewhere out of sight.

“Dude, Taehyung told me you kissed Jimin?”

“Yeah- I- yeah. But-“ Jeongguk takes a deep breath. “It was a huge mistake.”

“Well, it’s fucking dumb, first of all. You’ve hurt Taehyung, and for what? Just because you were curious what it’s like to kiss a guy? Then why pick Jimin? You could literally have kissed any other guy?”

Jeongguk feels his cheeks burn up, because that’s the excuse he used to make it sound less bad, but it somehow makes it sound even more pathetic.

“That’s.. that’s not exactly what happened.” He says, averting his gaze. “We were just.. there was some tension between us..”

“I knew it.” Hoseok says softly. “Shouldn’t have put you on a double date with him, but Taehyung kept telling me how bad he wanted you guys to get along.”

Jeongguk feels his heart clench. He’s such a terrible friend.

“So then what? You just went for it?”

He shakes his head.

“No, Jimin warned me that he was gonna kiss me and I didn’t stop him so-“

“Wait, wait stop.” Hoseok grabs him by his shoulders, eyes wide. “Jimin kissed you?”

Jeongguk blinks.

“Yeah we kissed? I just told you we kissed.”

“No you said you kissed Jimin.”

“Well I did?”

“Yeah but Jimin kissed you first?”

“Yes?”

Hoseok takes a deep breath, exasperated, like the entire situation is somehow different now. Jeongguk doesn’t really get what difference it makes, the damage is done.

“Taehyung thinks you kissed Jimin without consent. Like, he thinks you just drunkenly kissed him because you were curious and Jimin didn’t want to.”

Oh.

That does kind of make it worse.

“No, it was consensual. Jimin kissed me first, but I didn’t stop him, so-“

“Okay but, why didn’t you say that in the first place?”

Because that would make it sound like he wanted to kiss Jimin.

“Because it doesn’t matter who kissed who first, I gave into it.”

Hoseok looks at him from one eye to the other, then sighs again,.

“You should tell him right away.”

“Tell who what?”

Jimin’s voice alone is enough to straighten Jeongguk’s back. He has actively tried to avoid thinking about him, and the reason is clear. As soon as he looks at Jimin, he feels his hands on his body, hard cock pressing against his thigh, soft lips on his own, playful bites on his lower lip.

His cheeks burn up, heart starts beating in overdrive when he meets Jimin’s eyes for a second, but Jimin quickly averts his gaze.

“Tell Taehyung what happened between you two.”

Hoseok answers.

Jimin’s facade cracks then, eyes widening a little. Jeongguk takes it Jimin wasn’t planning on telling anyone.

Jimin turns to Hoseok, steps closer and lowers his tone.

“Why would Taehyung need to know? It would only make him upset.”

“He already knows.”

Jeongguk says, making Jimin turn back towards him.

“Why would you tell him that?”

“I mean, he’s my best friend, I can’t just lie to him?”

“Really? Isn’t this just for your own conscience? Taehyung would have been better off not knowing.”

Jeongguk bites his tongue.

of course it would have been better if Taehyung didn’t know, but if he were to find out later it would be even worse, right?

“Well he knows. But he thinks I took advantage of you, so I’ll have to talk to him again.”

Jimin groans softly, rubs over his forehead.

“I’m coming with you.”

Jeongguk blinks once, twice. Doesn’t think there’s a worse idea than that.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“So I should wait until Taehyung comes to me after you’ve told him? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I agree with Jimin, it’d be better if you go together.”

Jeongguk clenches his jaw as he looks at Hoseok, a little irritated that he’s nosing around in his business. But he can’t really object so he just brings out a “Great.”

———————

He waits outside for Jimin after practice, standing at that familiar spot Jimin once dragged him to, behind a wall.

“You look miserable.”

Jimin says, small smile on his lips as he approaches, like he relishes the fact. He probably does.

“After kissing you anyone would be miserable.”

Jimin just snorts.

“Right, I must have not heard your sounds of protest over your moans of pleasure.”

Jeongguk feels his cheeks burn up, can’t fight the images making it back to his mind. Did he moan? He can’t remember.

“Why did you tell Taehyung?”

Jimin asks again, not even giving Jeongguk time to think of a cool comeback. He can barely get a grip, honestly. How is he supposed to talk to him like this? Jimin’s all sweaty from practice, blonde hair sticking against his forehead, cheeks pink, still in volley clothes, extremely attractive.

“It’s bro code to never do something with your best friend's ex.”

Jimin raises a brow.

“Bro code. That’s the reason?”

“That, and if I hadn’t told him and he’d have found out later, our friendship would basically be reduced to nothing.”

“Okay but why tell him at all? It was so insignificant.”

Jimin says casually, putting his hands in his pockets. Jeongguk feels his stomach turn, uncomfortable feeling in his throat as he processes the word.

Insignificant.

Right.

Jimin is right, it.. it was insignificant. It was just a meaningless drunk kiss. It did absolutely nothing for him. Absolutely nothing.

He quickly gathers his thoughts before Jimin gets the chance to poke.

“Y-yeah but, Taehyung would still be angry if I didn’t tell him.”

“Angry about what? We’ve broken up. besides, we were in an open relationship. Technically I could have fucked you when Tae and I were still together.”

Jeongguk coughs at the bluntness of it, a little taken aback by Jimin’s complete lack of conscience. His ears burn up solely at the implication.

“Absolutely not.”

“I’m not saying I would have done it, I’m not that much of an asshole, but take it into perspective. A drunk kiss after we’ve broken up shouldn’t be made into such a big deal.”

Jeongguk stares at Jimin, looking for anything that indicates he’s lying. He doesn’t want to believe it didn’t do anything for him. There’s no way this kiss was that insignificant, right?

“Unless.. you thought it was a big deal?”

Jimin asks, making Jeongguk snap back to reality.

“No I- I barely remember. We were drunk and it was convenient.”

He lies, trying his hardest to sound convincing.

Jimin nods, then the corner of his mouth rises a little.

“Can’t believe you were so desperate for it that you switched teams though.”

Jeongguk feels his defences go up.

“You’re just easy.”

Maybe it’s a low-blow, but it’s true. He’s easy. Meets a guy in the gym and fucks his mouth first thing.

Jimin’s smirk fades, and he steps into his personal space, looks at him with that expression he’s come to know.

Jeongguk feels his body tingle. Because he knows how to handle this. He’s good with simmering hatred and biting remarks, way better than handling how his heart beats faster when Jimin smiles.

“Take a good long look at my lips.”

There’s a stillness to Jimin’s voice that is terrifying.

Jeongguk’s cheeks burn up, but he keeps eye contact, doesn’t want to listen. As a result, Jimin leans even closer, rests his hand against the wall next to his head, trapping him.

“Go ahead, don’t be shy now.”

Jeongguk caves, the intensity of Jimin’s sharp eyes is too much to handle. So he drops his gaze to Jimin’s lips, and it knocks the breath out of his lungs.

So pink, so soft.

If he thought it was going to be easier to resist now that he’s had a taste, he’s absolutely wrong. If anything, it’s gotten even worse. He knows exactly what they feel like, what it’s like to suck on Jimin’s lower lip, what type of sound he makes when he bites on it softly.

Fuck.

He doesn’t think he’s seen prettier lips than Jimin’s. He doesn’t think he’s ever going to forget that kiss either. He feels the same type of desire right now, feels it running hot through his veins, he’s craving to close the distance.

“You’ll never kiss them again.”

Jimin promises as he backs away, leaving Jeongguk’s mind completely blank.

———————

It’s silent all the way to the house. It’s awkward when Jeongguk knocks on Taehyung’s door. It’s awkward when Taehyung steps out of his room and glares at him, while he greets Jimin with a much softer look.

“What are you doing here?”

Taehyung asks.

“I came to clear something up.” Jimin says, nodding his head in Jeongguk’s direction. “I kissed him, he didn’t take advantage of me.”

Jimin goes straight to the point, makes Jeongguk’s stress levels peak instantly.

Taehyung’s eyes widen. He looks between the both of them.

“You.. you kissed Jeongguk?”

“Yeah, I initiated.”

Taehyung shakes his head, then he turns to Jeongguk.

“You said you were drunk and kissed him because you were curious what it’s like to kiss a guy.”

Jimin suddenly perks up at the new information, turns to Jeongguk as well. Jeongguk can see he wants to ask something, wants to start something, but he wisely shuts his mouth.

“Well, I wanted to explain everything but you told me you didn’t want to talk and locked yourself into your room.”

Taehyung glares at him now. And Jeongguk quickly holds up his hands in defence.

“I- I didn’t think it through, okay? I only heard from Hoseok that you thought I took advantage of Jimin, so-“

“Why didn’t you just- why didn’t you try to knock on my door and-“

“Well I thought you understood that it was consensual, and it’s reasonable to be angry that I kissed your-“

“Why would I be this angry if it’s consensual?”

“Because he’s your ex-boyfriend, why wouldn’t you be angry?”

“Well I’m disappointed, yeah, but mostly betrayed that you’ve never told me you were confused about your sexuality.”

“I’m not.”

Jeongguk snaps.

The room falls silent.

Taehyung looks at him like he pities him, which makes a knot form in his stomach. It would have been so much easier to deal with an angry Taehyung. He doesn’t want to have this conversation.

Taehyung crosses that line though, confronts him directly with what he doesn’t want to hear.

“Jeongguk. Being curious what it’s like to kiss a guy is not exactly the straightest-“

“I know that. I was drunk, and it didn’t do anything for me at all. Okay? It was a stupid mistake.”

He feels an uncomfortable tightness in his throat, as if his own body is trying to stop him from talking. He feels Jimin’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t dare look his way.

Taehyung looks at him a little longer before he turns his gaze to Jimin.

“I’m sorry Tae. I was drunk, Jeongguk was there and it was convenient. Honestly I barely remember it, let’s not make a big deal out of it.”

Jeongguk looks at Jimin, hollow feeling in his chest.

Was it really that insignificant?

Taehyung looks a bit sullen, but nods.

“Alright, just.. just.. you know, if something’s going on between you two don’t lie to me.”

Jimin actually chuckles then, shakes his head.

“Please. Even if Jeongguk was gay I’d be out of his league.”

The look Jimin gives him right after makes Jeongguk press his tongue into his cheek.

He’s so fucking full of himself.

“Anyway. I’m sorry. Like Jeongguk said, it was a stupid mistake.”

Taehyung nods then, seems to calm down a little. There’s something else though, when his eyes land on his. Like he's still not completely convinced that it was just a mistake.

“Alright, well, thank you for clearing it up.”

Jeongguk doesn’t really know what to say, so he just nods once, averting his gaze.

“I have to get going, so, just call me if you need anything yeah?”

Jimin says, looking at a text on his phone.

“Yeah, I will.”

Jeongguk watches as they hug goodbye, follows Jimin with his eyes as he leaves the house. The door shuts and it leaves him there with Taehyung in silence.

He looks at Taehyung and feels guilty, a feeling of pressure on his chest that is unavoidable. He has a hard time opening his mouth, but he feels the need to say it again.

“I’m.. I’m really sorry.”

“I know.” Taehyung says calmly. “I want to ask you something.”

Fuck.

Jeongguk’s blood runs cold, and he feels like a deer in the headlights as he stares back at Taehyung.

“Are you attracted to Jimin?”

“No. I mean- no.”

Liar.

“Then what is it? I know you. You wouldn’t kiss a guy no matter how drunk you get.”

It’s true. Taehyung does know him. Knows him in and out, and Jeongguk can’t deny it. He would never have kissed a guy if it wasn’t for Jimin.

“He- he has- feminine features, okay? And I haven’t been with anyone since Jae, so I was desperate to kiss someone. And his lips are so full- he was wearing pink lip balm-“

“So you think of him as a woman?”

“I- I mean.. yes, sometimes.”

He surprises himself when he says it, and then he feels sick to his stomach. The silence is loud and clear, Taehyung looks at him, face falling.

“I’m sorry to say this but you need to see a therapist. I can’t believe you’re so afraid of facing yourself that you would undermine Jimin’s masculinity. I thought you were different from your mom.”

Taehyung turns his head, like he really can’t stand to look at him right now, and Jeongguk feels his heart break. Words fail him, he just stands there as Taehyung returns to his room without another word.

Fuck.

———————

If he thought he was having a mental breakdown before, it’s nothing compared to this. He feels unlike himself, like he’s walking beside his body most of the time, not really in there.

What Taehyung said spins through his mind like a broken record. He needs a therapist, he really does, but he can’t afford a therapist.

Well, afford is not exactly the word.

For some time he’s stuck, doesn’t know what to do, who to talk to. Taehyung is still disappointed in him, still upset. Hoseok is too confronting right now, he doesn’t dare to talk about it. And he avoids Jimin at all cost.

A therapist would really be nice. It would really be nice.

Way better than drinking. Kind of. Maybe.

After a few days he decides to get a job, needs the money for a therapist, and he needs it cash. What better place to go than a tattoo parlour?

It’s a fucking long shot though. Walking in there just to see the guy who gave his first tattoo raising a brow at him when he says he wants to work there.

“You got any experience?”

“None. I..” Jeongguk rubs over his sweaty forehead, already feeling like such a fucking loser for doing this. “I only have this old sketchbook.”

He shows it, but feels his cheeks burn up as the guy looks through it. They’re not great, he was probably 16 the last time he drew anything. And drawing isn’t gonna cut it if he wants to permanently put ink on someone’s skin.

“You.. have no experience with tattooing anyone.”

The guy states, looking up at Jeongguk like he’s lost his mind. He probably has a little bit.

“Yep. None.”

The guy has intimidating eyes, staring at him quite long. Last time Jeongguk was here, his hair was black, but now it’s mint green.

“Mmh.” The guy sits back a bit, blank expression as he goes through his old drawings once more. “This one.”

The guy points at a sketch Jeongguk made some time ago, just a simple pattern.

“I want that one.”

“You what?”

“You’re gonna tattoo this on me.”

Oh, so Jeongguk is not the insane one out of the two.

“Now?”

“Yep.”

The guy takes him to the back, shows him the tattoo gun. Jeongguk slept about 2 hours, but he’s doing his damn best to understand the explanation of how it works.

It’s a little surreal when the guy sits down in the chair and just points at a random spot on his arm.

“Don’t I need like, training first?”

“This is training.”

“What if I fuck up your arm?”

“I know someone who can make it look good. Get started already I have a client coming.”

Fuck.

This guy is insane.

Jeongguk doesn’t have a choice though. Well he does, he makes it rather fast.

His stress levels peak as he turns on the tattoo gun and gets started. It’s nervewracking, he’s not sure what the fuck he’s doing but he’s just doing it.

The guy doesn’t flinch, just occasionally tells him to wipe, to chill, to take a rest, to focus. As long as he doesn’t start thinking about how he’s inking this man’s skin for eternity, then it’s all good.

“Breathe. You’re doing well.”

Jeongguk swallows, but takes a deep breath and concentrates.

———————

It’s not terrible.

Not the best, but it’s actually better than expected.

The guy looks at it in the mirror, blank expression making Jeongguk anxious. It takes a whole minute until the guy nods.

“It’s not bad. You can start with drawing designs, I’ll let you train on fake skin, then on me, then you can take clients. You need cash money don’t you?”

Jeongguk blinks at all the information at once, but his heart skips a beat because he’s fucking hired. This was his first ever job interview. He fucking did it.

Though maybe, working with a guy like this is quite a challenge? He can’t concentrate on that now.

“I do, yes. But- but it’s not for drugs or anything-“

The guy cuts him off by snorting.

“You don’t have to tell me, I know it’s not for that."

Tiny win of the day, apparently he doesn’t look like a drug addict.

“I’ll send you the contract later, my client is waiting.”

The guy nods at the security camera, where Jeongguk can see a guy sitting in the waiting room. Oh fuck, he must have taken so long doing that tiny tattoo.

“Sorry, I-“

“All good. I’m Min Yoongi by the way.”

“Jeon Jeongguk.”

———————

Working at a parlour, even if it is with Min Yoongi, is quite fun. Actually, it’s Seokjin who makes it fun. He doesn’t work there but he might as well, stops by everyday for about an hour just to talk nonsense.

The first time Jeongguk met him, he didn’t understand how a person like Jin could befriend a guy like Yoongi. Jin keeps ranting, bullshitting, and teasing Yoongi to the point he ignores him completely.

Yet, whenever Jin leaves, and Yoongi breathes a sigh of relief, the parlour feels a little empty.

“So, he’s really not your boyfriend?”

“Jeongguk, you’ve asked me this 12 times now.”

“He stops by everyday only because he accidentally walked in here a year ago.”

He says, concentrating on the constellation he’s currently tattooing on Yoongi’s shoulder.

“He just likes the routine.”

“He likes to annoy you.”

“You like to annoy me too.”

A small grin appears on Jeongguk’s lips as he wipes away some ink. Working here in itself has become some sort of therapy for him.

He’s not on his phone, not gaming, not worrying about much. Without a sense of time, just focused on making sketches and practicing on Yoongi. And Yoongi practices on him sometimes as well, his right arm is starting to look like a sketchbook and he really likes it.

In the beginning he found it difficult to work with Yoongi, he’s quite blunt and hard to get a hold of, but he became quite a good friend in just a month's time. There’s something about him that makes him open up easily.

“I’ve never asked, but are you gay?”

Oh.

Hadn’t expected that question, though it’s Yoongi, he should have seen it coming. Always to the point.

“Uh.. no.”

“Straight then?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

The thing is, he’s not thought about girls much lately.

“Been with both?”

“Only girls. But I.. kissed a guy once.”

He says, surprising himself with his honesty. Yoongi brings that out in him for some reason.

“So you like both.”

Yoongi states, matter of factly.

“I only kissed one guy.”

“Yes, so you like both.”

It’s simple to Yoongi, like it’s just a math equation. Jeongguk can’t really wrap his mind around it.

“I don’t think so.”

“Were you attracted to him?”

A blush creeps up his neck as he takes a break. He’s sweating, and not just from concentrating on this tattoo. His leg is nervously bouncing up and down, hands all clammy.

“I- I don’t know.”

That’s a lie.

“Why?"

“Because.. some of his features, were.. feminine.”

“So you like feminine men. Like twinks?”

Twinks.

Jeongguk swallows, eyes widening as he sees himself type it in the search bar of pornhub (gay pornhub) more than a few times a week.

Actually, he didn’t really know what it meant up til now. Just that he likes watching videos with twinks in it. He thought it was a specific porn term, but as Yoongi uses it so casually, it’s clearly not.

“Twinks?”

“Yeah, slim-build, cute-faced guys.”

He didn’t know there was another word for Park Jimin.

“I-It’s hard to tell cause there’s only that one guy.”

“Are you in love with him?”

Yoongi is lucky Jeongguk didn’t have the tattoo gun on his skin because he would have fucked up big time. He coughs, clears his throat.

“No. I actually kind of hate him.”

“Oh, now that sounds like it was a good kiss.”

It’s things like that.

Yoongi says things like that and Jeongguk can barely even react. So he doesn’t, for a bit he just works on the tattoo, bottom lip sucked into his mouth. There’s something about the best kiss he’s ever had being Jimin, and Taehyung’s ex at the same time that makes it unpleasant.

“The guy I kissed is my best friend’s ex.”

He says softly.

“Kind of wrong.”

“Very wrong.”

“You told him, your best friend, I mean?”

“Yeah, but ever since, we haven’t talked.”

This marks the first time he’s ever felt bad at his job. Maybe he shouldn’t have started talking about personal matters. His chest feels hollow, he can’t concentrate.

Taehyung has barely looked at him, and even though Yoongi is nice, nothing can replace the feeling he gets when Taehyung smiles at him.

“So, what’s the situation now?”

Jeongguk takes a deep breath, sits back a little as he watches his constellation on Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Well, he ignores me, my other friend is now my best friend’s boyfriend so I can’t really talk to him either, and I’m avoiding the guy I kissed. He’s skipped volley practice too so I haven’t seen him at all.”

He realises it’s quite pathetic now that he’s said it out loud. Yoongi seems to think so too, looks at him with that blank stare he always has.

“Volleyball?”

“Yeah, I’m on my uni’s volleyball team.”

“Ah.”

Yoongi nods, looks like he wants to say something else, but instead he looks at the tattoo, nods a few times.

“You’ve become a lot better. Let’s do something harder next time.”

Jeongguk nods, feels some of that discomfort dissipate because they changed the topic. He cleans the tattoo, puts away the tattoo gun.

“Why do you need cash money?”

Jeongguk blinks, defences going back up immediately. He knows he’s not obliged to tell him, but honestly, he’s the only person he’s been properly talking to over the last month. And for how fast Yoongi hired him, based on literally jackshit, he owes him.

“My.. my mother basically controls my bank account.”

He feels ashamed as he says it, reminding him why he never speaks about it.

“You mean she blocked it?”

“No, she can see where my money goes.”

Jeongguk averts eye contact, can’t really have Yoongi staring into his soul like that while he spills his secrets.

“Small numbers she never looks at much, but.. I wanna go see a therapist, and if she’d see such a large sum of money go to something like a therapist of all things, she’d probably go insane, block it, and I would not be able to go to uni.”

Truth is, he’s always been scared of that. Jimin once spoke up about him being a coward, and he really is. He’s fucking terrified of stepping out of line and losing his home with Taehyung, his volleyball with Hoseok, his life.

“Why would she go insane about you going to therapy?”

“She’s kind of obsessed with having a perfect record, so, she’d be ashamed if one of her sons would need a therapist.”

Yoongi raises a brow.

“Okay first of all, that’s insane, but isn’t it illegal for her to control your account? Can’t you sue her for that?”

“She’s a lawyer.”

“Oh.”

Jeongguk smiles wryly, looks up to see Yoongi eye over him with, what looks like, concern.

“What about your arm then, or your piercings? Or the fact that you’re bisexual?”

Bisexual.

Jeongguk’s heartbeat picks up at the word.

“Well, I’m not bisexual, so that’s not a problem. Plus, we’re not close, so she doesn’t call or come over unless something is wrong. I can probably remove the piercings and wear long sleeves. I haven’t seen her for months. Usually she calls my.. uh.. girlfriend.”

Right, he completely forgot about Ji-woo.

Yoongi frowns.

“Wait, you have a girlfriend?”

“Uh, I have a fake girlfriend, yeah.”

He hasn’t heard anything from her, now that he thinks about it. His mother might have called her a few times already. He should really call her.

Yoongi is speechless, which doesn’t happen often. Only after a few seconds does he nod, kind of impressed.

“Man, you really do need a therapist.”

It’s not really the time to laugh, but Jeongguk can’t help the chuckle coming out his mouth, doesn’t know how else to react.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

——————

Chapter 10 >