To Fuck the Phobia Out Of the Homo • Chapter 4 • 7.1K (Patreon)

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He’s made a pact with himself, not that he hasn’t done that before, but this time he’s gonna stand his ground. No more indulging with Jeon Jeongguk.

He has plenty other interested guys, and he’s never had a hard time finding a good hook-up, so going after a guy who can’t even make him come is out of the question. Besides, Jeongguk went out of his way to fuck some other girl so he’s going to have fun this weekend as well.

And so he does, he goes out, meets a cute guy and takes him home for the night, has a great time, but as soon as it’s over.. well

it’s sort of underwhelming. 

Not that the sex wasn’t good, but something about it just felt kind of.. bland? 

So he hypes himself up for the next night, takes Hoseok and Taehyung out to a club and meets a hot bartender, who takes him back to the bathrooms and gives him amazing head— but again, once it’s over he just feels kind of empty.

And so Sunday night when he’s in bed, he finds himself slipping into fantasies he forbade himself to have— big dark brown eyes, sharp features, that smirk..

That phone call— Jeongguk’s desperate voice— the way he taunted him, the way he needed it to escalate, wanted him to talk him through it. 

He jolts when he feels he’s already slipped his hand down his pants— quickly removes it and shakes his head. 

It needs to stop.

————————

Jimin..

Jimin..

Jimin..

Nothing works— he’s not even fully hard when one of his usual hook-ups sucks him off. She’s trying really hard, a hand around him, looking up from under her lashes. 

God, he feels bad, closes his eyes and pictures those full— soft lips, those slanted, mean eyes, that blonde hair.. but then she moans around him and breaks the fantasy.

He looks over his shoulder at the slightly ajar door of the locker rooms, but Jimin isn’t there yet— despite him saying he’s always early, that he sometimes watches him have his hook-ups here.

He casts a glance at the clock, bites his lip, looks back at her.

She pops her lips off.

“You have practice now? Should I leave before your teammates come?”

“No.” He shakes his head, tilts her chin up a little. “I don’t care if they see.”

A blush spreads on her cheeks, and she eagerly takes him back in her mouth— but, it’s just not the same. 

Jimin is so fucking good at sucking dick— the best he ever had, and whatever she does just doesn’t come close to that feeling. It doesn’t make him shudder, doesn’t make him feel on edge..

Then, finally, he hears the door. He can see blonde hair from the corner of his eye, knows it’s Jimin from the way he walks in with slow strides.

Oh— fuck. 

His breath hitches, he didn’t think Jimin would just barge in— hoped he would quietly watch from the door opening, but here he is, just walking in, not even saying a thing. 

His mere presence makes him burn up, cock twitching in her mouth as an embarrassing reminder that he can’t move on. 

Sweat breaks out on his skin as he thrusts forward, eyes fluttering shut. 

He hopes Jimin is watching— wants him to see, to say something, to give him some sort of reaction; maybe a jealous remark or a mean laugh or even a huff of breath, fucking anything. 

But for a minute or so he’s just fucking her mouth without any type of reaction— only the knowledge that Jimin is in the same room, somewhere behind him.

Fuck, he can’t take it. He slowly turns his head, casts a glance over his shoulder, finds Jimin just casually getting changed, those moon tattoos running down his spine..

“Fuck..”

He curses under his breath, picks up the pace a little bit, takes in Jimin’s bare upper body with greedy eyes. Her soft moans get drowned out by the sheer static in his brain when he reaches Jimin’s face and finds those eyes on him. 

A thrill runs down his spine, breath catches in his throat as he feels heat accumulate in his gut. 

Just from eye contact. 

And he hopes Jimin will give him more, come up to him, press up against his back, whisper filth in his ear like on the phone. He’s practically begging for it the way he’s looking at Jimin, so eager, so needy.

However, Jimin just continues changing, doesn’t grant him another look, and walks out to the field.

He’s left standing there, breathless, on edge, looking at the door as he tries to finish, silently hoping for Jimin to come back, to give him something, anything. 

It’s so pathetic, he can’t even reach his orgasm in time, hears the loud conversation of his teammates right outside the room so he has to tuck himself back into his shorts. 

“Was I not good?” 

Oh fuck, right.

He looks down at her, shakes his head quickly.

“No— no it was good, just have no time left.” 

It’s a terrible excuse because he normally doesn’t really care if anyone walks in, didn’t care when Jimin walked in either, but she seems to take it, stands up and wipes her mouth. 

“I can finish you off after, if you want.”

She gives a pretty wink, and Jeongguk just nods even though he will not take up on the offer. 

Right when she walks out the rest of the team comes in, which is good. It’s good that they see him like this, that they whistle and pat him on his back and call him playboy, this is the reputation he needs to keep up.

Except when he walks onto the field, and Jimin doesn’t even as much as look at him the entire training, there’s a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

————————

It’s unbearable, Jeongguk is always either fucking someone or getting head or whatever else right in his vicinity. 

Jimin knows it’s on purpose, or somewhat on purpose— Jeongguk probably doesn’t know what he wants from him except his attention, and his mouth, that’s the general feeling he gets.

But he doesn’t want to give him anything, at least not without anything in return. And since Jeongguk is probably never gonna give him that, he just tries to bear with it.

Maybe purposely flirting with other guys in Jeongguk’s line of vision is not bearing with it. But since Jeongguk is doing the same thing, he can’t be blamed. He knows from that house party that Jeongguk is quite jealous, if he read into that whole “who’s your boyfriend?” situation right. 

So he’s talking to the same guy right along the way to the baseball locker rooms for a few days— and then finally catches Jeongguk’s gaze. That same dark look he got the other time. 

Good. 

A shiver runs down his spine when Jeongguk holds eye contact a little longer, before he walks past them towards the changing rooms.

It’s pathetic, but heat blooms under his skin and he just cuts his conversation short because he wants to see how much of an effect he has on Jeongguk; so he follows him into the changing rooms.

It’s instant, when he walks in he’s met by Jeongguk’s pissed gaze, his jet black hair in front of his eyes, tongue poking in his cheek. 

“Already giving head to someone else?”

Oh god, yes. 

Goosebumps appear on his neck and arms, and the corner of his mouth curls up against his will. 

“You seem upset,” he casually walks over to the opposite bench, puts down his bag. “You’ve been getting head too, aren’t you glad?”

See, this is the fun part. Jeongguk can’t even argue, just stares at him with that blank look but he’s obviously jealous.

“Of— of course I’m fucking glad. I finally get to see my normal hook-ups again.”

“Uhu.” He looks at the crease between Jeongguk’s brows. “So why are you upset?”

“I’m not upset. I just can’t believe you’re so eager to suck some other guy off.”

Oh he’s upset alright. 

And hot. Not to mention hot. 

Something about that tight black shirt and those grey sweatpants, it’s such a fuckboy outfit, but sadly it works.

It takes him a while to reach Jeongguk’s eyes again.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You always come under a minute or two.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen, and then he shakes his head.

“That’s not— that’s cause you wouldn’t let me— you always rushed through it.”

“Of course I did.” He scoffs. “Why would I give the time of day to a guy who can’t even make me come?”

Jeongguk’s jaw snaps shut, and even if he had a comeback, the rest of the team barges into the room before it can come out.

————————

Make Jimin come? 

Why would he want to be doing that? Their whole past deal was about Jimin giving him head anyway, so, of course he’s not gonna go out of his way to make Jimin come. He’s not even gay. 

What a non-argument.

He huffs out a breath as he walks through the big hallway of their uni, avoids eye contact with anyone because he doesn’t want to take any girls to the locker rooms today.

Jimin doesn’t show a smidge of interest in him, even after all they’ve done. Like, isn’t it weird that he just goes for another guy to fill up his mouth? Why is he getting replaced so easily?

That’s what’s so annoying about this whole thing; no matter how many girls he has, he always drifts off and thinks about Jimin’s mouth, his voice, his eyes. 

But Jimin— fuck. He doesn’t care one bit.

And fine, maybe he does get it. Their past deal was only about him, so maybe Jimin is right. Why should he care? He didn’t lose anything.

But fuck, he wishes Jimin did miss it. He hoped he would. isn’t that normal for a gay guy? to miss someone’s dick? 

He bites the inside of his cheek as he walks into the changing rooms, finds Jimin’s bag already on the bench. 

There’s no one in the room though, but after a few seconds he hears soft moans coming from the direction of the showers. It’s unmistakably Jimin— high, wispy, breathy. 

Heat rushes up to his cheeks because why can he distinguish that? 

He just stands there, looks at the showers for a good few seconds and before he knows it he’s right near the partitioned wall, peeking inside. 

Jimin is leaning against the shower tiles, head tipped back, eyes closed in bliss, a soft pink blush on his cheeks and nose, his jersey a little messy, shorts and underwear down to his ankles, and some guy on his knees, giving him head.

“A-ah fuck, so good.”

Jimin pants, tangling his hands in the guy’s hair and thrusting his hips forward, forcing him to take it. 

Jeongguk bites back a gasp, holds onto the wall for dear life, heat rushes through his veins just seeing Jimin like this; so turned on. 

When he looks back up, Jimin’s eyes open the slightest bit, and they instantly find him. 

Fuck. 

He should move.

He should pretend he doesn’t even care, walk off like Jimin did to him so many times before.

But he’s nailed to the ground, unable to breathe as Jimin’s sharp eyes run down his body, and slowly back up, shamelessly.

Jimin doesn’t call him out, doesn’t tell him to leave, doesn’t address him, but he also doesn’t look away. He just eyes him up like it’s free, bites his plush lower lip and trusts into the guy’s mouth a little harder.

Oh.

Fuck, he should really just go, he doesn’t want to give Jimin anything, but after weeks of nothing, this sliver of attention feels like crack. 

So he stands there and just lets it happen, he lets Jimin look at him, and he watches Jimin get head. He’s been in that position, on his knees in the exact same spot in these showers, the tip of Jimin’s cock pressed against his lips.

A shiver runs down his spine, he doesn’t quite know if it’s lust or shame, maybe a mix of both. That taste of precum on his lips— he can still feel it, warm and sticky and wrong.

“Mmh— fuck.” 

Jimin pants, eyes getting a little hazy, and fuck, Jeongguk knows that look. He’s seen it only once before, that I need to come so bad look. 

It’s so hot that he breaks out in sweat like he’s the one getting head. No one else can do this to him, he’s never felt this turned on watching someone else’s pleasure, but Jimin..

The way he tips his head back, the way his lips part, the way his eyelids sink, the way his body stutters on the verge of his orgasm— it’s insanely attractive.

“Ah— fuck Jaewon—“

Jaewon?

Oh fuck, right. There’s a whole other guy in the room.

Jeongguk clenches his jaw as he looks at said man on his knees, sees how Jimin caresses through the guy’s hair.

“Gonna come—“

“Mm..” 

The guy nods, like he wants him to, doesn’t even take his mouth off. 

Ew— is he gonna swallow?

It seems so, cause he tries even harder, bobs his head faster, and Jeongguk can’t believe some guy would willingly swallow cum. 

A glimpse of himself tasting precum on his tongue flashes in his mind like some sort of mockery— but that’s different. That was the heat of the moment, and it was just since it happened to get on his lip.

“Fuck— wanna swallow that bad?” Jimin pants, grip tightening in the guy’s hair, small smirk on his lips. “Like the taste of my come?”

“Ngh—“

Jeongguk’s throat runs dry as he watches the guy nod frantically, so fucking eager.

When he looks up, he sees that Jimin is looking right at him instead, as if he’s asking him the question. 

Jesus. 

He holds the wall tightly as Jimin starts to lose rhythm, bites on the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from making any type of sound.

“Mmh— look so good on your knees.” Jimin pants, those sharp brown eyes running over his body and back up, lingering on his mouth. “Wanna come in your mouth, over your face— all over you.”

Oh.

God.

He’s about to run away because it’s getting way too personal, but then Jimin throws his head back and moans so prettily it echoes against the walls, his hips stagger with every thrust, his legs give in the slightest, his eyes roll back a little.

Jeongguk gasps, his dick twitches in his pants.

And he can’t give Jimin the satisfaction of seeing his semi, so he quickly returns to the bench in the locker rooms, runs his hands through his hair and pulls on the strands slightly.

“Fuck.”

He curses, shakes his head and just changes into his baseball clothes quickly, drowns out all the sound and makes a run for the field so he doesn’t have to see Jimin.

—————————

So, even though he avoids Jimin at all costs, he dreams about him. And he’s had some dreams about Jimin, about his mouth on him. However, lately, he’s dreaming about giving Jimin head. 

It’s gross, he would never want to have dick in his mouth, and yet each passing dream version of Jimin seems to force him on his knees and take it. 

He knows if he wants to have Jimin for himself again he’s gonna have to give something back, but.. making him come..

A handjob already sounds terrifying, let alone a blowjob. 

But, nothing compares to Jimin. He needs to come up with something soon.

————————

It’s working.

He can tell by the way Jeongguk’s eyes linger, the way he stares at him from across the field, and especially the dark looks he gets whenever he’s standing a little too close to another guy. 

And though he knows he shouldn’t be doing all this, he should just move on, the desperate looks he gets from Jeongguk whenever he’s touching a guy or making out in the locker rooms are adding fuel to the fire.

Because, after one more week of that, Jeongguk finally snaps.

He’s about to leave the locker rooms, but he gets grabbed by the wrist. A thrill runs down his spine before he even turns around. 

“Yes?”

Jeongguk’s eyes are dark, hair still wet from the showers, pink blush over his cheeks from the training, and he doesn’t say a single thing, just backs him towards one of the benches, until the back of his knees hit the hard wood and he’s sitting in an all too familiar position.

Oh—

Jeongguk grabs his chin, looks at his lips with a hunger even more intense than the first time, and then his thumb rubs over his lower lip, greedy, messy.

Shit, he’s not supposed to give Jeongguk anything, but from his peripheral he sees his dick twitch in those shorts, and like Pavlov, his mouth waters.

“Fuck—“ Jeongguk bites his lip, moves closer until his crotch is right in front of Jimin’s face. “Suck me off.”

His voice has a breathy, desperate edge to it. 

Jimin can’t even lie, it’s hot. Jeongguk’s eyes all consumed by lust, the way his jaw clenches, the intense focus on his lips. And then, the outline of that pretty cock visible in his shorts, right in front of his face.

Heat spreads slowly under his skin, a tingling sensation runs down his spine and he knows he should resist. He shouldn’t give Jeongguk anything, but god—

“you miss it too, right?” Jeongguk pants softly, his other hand coming down to cup himself through the fabric, making it cling around the length. “Miss this?”

He looks up, tries not to show even the slightest bit of arousal but it seems Jeongguk gets off on eye contact because he shudders, rubs over his cock through the fabric.

“Fuck— please.” 

Oh..

His ears burn up, and his resolve weakens when Jeongguk presses his clothed cock against his lips like he can’t wait a second longer.

Shit— he fucking loves this. Feels the warmth of the head of Jeongguk’s cock even through the fabric, rubbing over his lower lip. His eyes flutter shut, that voice that’s telling him to get up and leave gets drowned out by Jeongguk’s soft, needy moan.

“God— you look like you want to taste it.”

Fuck, he probably does. He tries to wake himself up by pushing his nails into his palm but Jeongguk all but rubs his cock against his mouth and nose.

“Mmh—“ 

fuck, he shouldn’t be moaning. Shouldn’t open his lips like this, shouldn’t breathe him in. 

“Oh— fuck, you actually— you want to suck me off.” Jeongguk pants, grabs him by his hair, those dark eyes send a rush of heat down his spine. “Mouth open and everything— you’re ready to take it.”

This is bad— he’s been working to make Jeongguk snap, to make him beg, yet here he is, being manhandled. As bad as he wants to deny it, he did miss Jeongguk’s dick.

“Mmh— fuck, so pretty, I’ll give it to you if you beg.”

————————

It seems he said the wrong thing because Jimin pulls back and looks up from under his lashes. Sharp and intense.

And fuck, who is he trying to fool? When Jimin brushes his lips over his length slowly, he can barely hold himself back. 

It’s deliberate, the way Jimin kisses the head of his cock through the fabric, all while looking up at him. 

“Fuck—“ 

He bucks his hips just a bit, feels his dick twitch in his shorts, thinks he might come once Jimin’s lips touch his skin. 

But it’s not even that— even more than the brush of Jimin’s lips, it the way he looks at him, those blonde locks a little wet from the shower do nothing to hide his intense gaze.

“Yeah? You think I’ll beg?”

Jimin asks then, a light edge to his voice that makes Jeongguk shiver.

In all honesty, he didn’t think Jimin would beg, he just hoped he’d have the upper hand, hoped that Jimin wouldn’t find out that he’s on the verge of giving in.

Especially when Jimin leans in even closer, darts his pretty, pink tongue out and licks over his length through the fabric.

“Ngh— fuck.” He pants, holds Jimin’s hair even tighter, ruts against his mouth a little harder. “Please—“

“Mmh..” Jimin leans back, the corner of his mouth tugs up a bit. “See, you’re way better at begging than I am.”

Jeongguk’s cheeks burn up, and he keeps looking between Jimin’s eyes and his mouth, needs to feel it again after nothing but ruined orgasms.

“I want your mouth again.” He admits, reaches his hand to Jimin’s lips, touches them, feels the warmth under his fingertips. “I need it.”

“I know.” Jimin kisses his fingers softly, so warm. “But I won’t give it to you unless you make me come too.”

Jeongguk stares at how Jimin just— kisses his fingers like that, slow and wet, sucks them into his mouth. The words almost don’t even register, he’s so on edge he could come just from watching this, from the feeling of his fingers tingling.

But then Jimin pops his lips off like it does nothing to him, and stands up.

“As long as you’re not gonna give me that, I won’t give you anything either.”

Shit.

He knew Jimin would say that. 

While he just stands there, Jimin grabs his bag, looks into one of the mirrors to adjust his hair and wipe his lips. 

he needs to make a decision now— if he really wants that blowjob. 

“Can’t you— like, just get off, like that one time?”

Jimin looks at him through the reflection, then turns around, walks to him in slow strides.

“No. Either make me come or just fuck someone else’s mouth.”

He can’t do that— he’s been doing that and it just doesn’t work. It’s Jimin’s mouth or nothing. 

“Think about it.” Jimin says then, blows him a kiss before walking past him. “See you next training.”

Fuck.

—————————

He’s going insane.

Talking to his friends won’t help because all they talk about is sports or sex. Training with his dad just reminds him he’s already had sex with a guy, he can’t even look him in the eyes. And taking other girls home works even less.

His reputation used to be the best, but lately he’s been moaning the wrong name, unable to stay hard, or if he’s thinking about Jimin— coming prematurely.

Then again, not having sex is making him annoyed and horny. He hasn’t come back to Jimin yet, every other practice he doesn’t even grant him a look, because the deal is just.. 

Ah, fuck, he doesn’t even know. 

Getting Jimin’s mouth is all he wants, but if he touches Jimin in that way, it’s gonna make him spiral the same way as their first time.

He can’t believe it’s still on his mind. After all those months passing, he hoped it would be nothing more than a vague memory. But he recalls those fingers inside of him, the way Jimin jerked him off, the way he fucked him, the things he said, how they made out.

Even now, it makes him short of breath. 

He throws his arm over his face, feels how hot his cheeks are. 

Then he grabs his phone, in the hopes some videos will distract him from the heat in the pit of his stomach, the arousal that he can barely suppress. 

Except the thought of calling Jimin suddenly comes to mind, and it immediately has him a little feverish.

That last call.. fuck.

He came so hard.

It’s almost like he just doesn’t have any rationality left, when he finds Jimin’s number, thumb hovering above the call button.

He bites his lip, pulls his covers over his face as well, ashamed of his room seeing what he’s about to do. 

When he presses call, Jimin picks up only a second later. 

“Another after sex call?”

God, his voice sounds good. Breathy, sexy.

“No.” He stares at his screen, feels heat spread under his skin. “I’m.. thinking about you.”

It sounds gayer than he anticipated.

Maybe that’s why Jimin takes longer to reply.

“About my mouth?”

Fuck.. he should just say yes, pretend it’s that. But he feels that heat inside, feels that emptiness as he shifts.

Maybe he should hang up. Nothing good can come from this.

“Oh..” Jimin breathes out from the other end. “About.. something else?”

Sweat breaks out on his skin, and he swallows, thinks maybe he should lift the blanket but he feels so embarrassed, just pulls his legs closer, curls up on his side. 

“My fingers..?”

He closes his eyes, shakes his head, but the feeling slowly spreads, arousal licks down his spine.

“Yes..”

He whispers, covers his face in shame, but his cock slowly gets hard anyway.

“Mmh.. fuck— really?”

Jimin rasps into the phone, shifts from the other end. It sounds like he’s in bed, the rustling of sheets.

“Yeah..” 

It comes out even softer, he doesn’t even want to say it— doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s so worn out, so tired of fighting it.

——————————

Fuck. 

Jeongguk sounds so defeated. He sounds so fucking hot, like he’s at his absolute breaking point.

It’s kind of insane how fast his dick reacted just a minute ago, couldn’t even stay downstairs with Tae and Hoseok, he just ran off and locked himself in his room.

“I feel so empty.”

Jeongguk whispers, and it’s like he’s right next to him, the way it comes through the speaker. 

If he wasn’t hard before, he sure is hard now. 

“Oh— fuck.. yeah?” He slips his hand in his pants, can’t even help himself. “Wanna feel full?”

“Yes.” Jeongguk pants softly. “Please.”

Jimin shudders, can’t believe he finally got to this point, finally has Jeongguk begging for it again, he‘s been waiting for months. 

“Mmh, fuck, want me to— want me to help you with that?”

It takes a while, but then he hears a soft: “Yes..” and he can’t even breathe.

“You can— if you want, you can come over— I can give it to you.”

“No— no. Over the phone.”

Fuck.. worth a shot.

————————

It’s so embarrassing. his eyes well up with tears but at the same time he’s burning up just thinking about it.

“Okay— want me to teach you, how to finger yourself?”

God, what is it with this guy and saying these things out loud? 

He makes himself even smaller.

“Mmh.”

“Okay..” Jimin pants softly, like he’s beyond turned on. “But I want something in return.”

Jeongguk bites the inside of his cheek, already anticipated this would happen.

“What do you want then?”

“I wanna see it..”

Jeongguk blinks his eyes wide, holds onto his phone a little tighter.

“See.. what?”

“Your fingers inside— fucking yourself— fingering yourself for me.”

Jimin can’t even make coherent sentences, he sounds so turned on, it’s even affecting him.

His body burns up, like the fucking traitor it is, and even though he wants to say no, the soft moan from the other end makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up straight.

“Haa fuck— I can’t wait to fuck you again— I want to fuck you so bad.”

There’s a rhythmic, wet sound that comes through the speakers and he knows exactly what’s happening from that end. 

This fucking pervert.

“I’m— I’m not gonna show you anything. Think of something else.”

“I already saw it— saw you on my fingers, on my cock.”

He gasps, but at the same time a thrill runs down his spine as he listens to Jimin touching himself through the phone, whispering filth.

“I’m not gonna film anything— I don’t trust you.” He pants softly. “Tell me what else you want.”

“Want you to watch me come, with your fingers still inside. On video call.”

“I told you I’m not filming—“

“You don’t have to turn on your camera— I just want you to watch.”

Fuck.

He bites the inside of his cheek, too horny to think, so he just nods.

“Fine— I’ll watch.”

“Mmh.. then, got lube?”

Oh.. 

They’re really doing this. He’s actually gonna do this.

He lifts the blanket, opens his nightstand drawer and grabs the lube— only ever uses this for sex, never for himself.

“Coat your fingers in it..”

God.. Jimin sounds good. When his light voice gets all raspy from arousal, it makes his body tingle.

“One second.”

He puts his phone down, puts some earphones in instead, and then squirts some lube into his hand. Just the sight of it makes his dick twitch, like it’s reminiscing the feeling.

Fuck..

He made sure his door was locked but he suddenly wants to double check, even his curtains are all closed but he still feels so watched. 

He swallows, and then just, slicks up his fingers. It’s wet and sticky, a little cold too.

“It’s cold.”

“Rub it a little harder in your hand.”

He follows Jimin’s command, until the lube feels a bit warmer, and then— well.. he slowly pushes his sweats and underwear down.

“You have to ease yourself into it.”

“Like you did last time?” He shoots back. “When you just shoved two fingers inside?”

“Selective memory? I jerked you off.”

Oh..

Right.

He bites on his tongue as he wraps one hand around his cock.

“Besides, you told me to get it over with, remember?”

“Shut up. Tell me what to do.”

“Can’t do both, baby.”

His eyes widen at the nickname, memories flood back from that night— he shakes his head, just strokes his cock to distract himself.

He’s already hard— that’s the embarrassing thing. Doesn’t even have to distract himself.

“Rub one finger against your rim, don’t push it in yet.”

Jeongguk holds his breath, brings his hand down behind him, slips his hand between his cheeks and finds his rim.

The one time he touched it, he came all over himself within a second. This time he feels a rush of arousal run down his spine, his cock twitches in his hand.

He just wants that feeling again— that pleasure from that spot being hit, the heat that it sent through his body whenever Jimin touched it.

“Good? Or uncomfortable?”

“Good.” 

He breathes out. 

“Mm.. press one inside slowly.”

He bites his lip to prevent himself from moaning, but as soon as the tip of his middle finger slips past his rim he gasps.

“F-fuck.”

“Mmh.. missed it?”

“Shut— shut up.” 

“Why?” Jimin chuckles softly. “You wanted me to teach you.”

“Teach me without your commentary.”

“If you didn’t want commentary you could have just looked up a tutorial.”

Shit.

He huffs out a breath, closes his eyes. 

“Mm, but since you’re calling me, I’m pretty sure you want me to. Every time you say shut up you’re practically begging for more—“

“Shut— ah— shut up.” It’s really the only comeback he has. He pushes his finger in deeper, doesn’t even feel any strain, it slides in like it belongs there, makes his eyes roll back. “Tell me where it is— that spot.”

A dark chuckle comes right through his earphones. 

“Eager? Already pushed it in?”

“Just— fuck— tell me.”

“Tell me something first.”

“What?”

“Ever dream about me?”

Jeongguk bites back a moan, just pants as he pushes his finger deeper, then pulls it out, repeats the motion to try recreate that feeling. Sweat builds up on his face, and he has to stop touching his dick because.. fuck

“Maybe.”

He settles on that— doesn’t know why he doesn’t just lie and say no, maybe because now he can hear Jimin grin from the other end.

“You’re just thrusting it in and out aren’t you?”

He halts his hand, blinks a few times.

“So?”

“So, you’re never gonna find your prostate like that love.”

This time he feels tingle run down his spine at the nickname, and he just takes it with a huff.

“Then— fuck, how?”

“Curl your finger towards your stomach, try to press against the inside until you feel it.”

He follows the instruction, holds his breath as he curls his finger, rubs against the inside, it’s so hot.

“How do I know if I— ah..”

A tingling sensation spreads through his body as he rubs against something soft, and he recognises it from last time.

“Mmh.. like that.” Jimin says, pleased. “You’re doing so good, listening so well.”

Jeongguk stops in his tracks, but a soft moan slips from his lips, it’s too embarrassing to even describe. He’s never really cared much for praise but the way Jimin’s voice drops seems to do something to him.

“You’re so fucking—“

“Ssh.. take it, slip in another finger.”

God— he bites his lip and listens, pushes his ring finger in alongside his middle finger and rubs against that spot. It’s so fucking good, finally he gets to feel that fullness again, that heat in the pit of his stomach, the tingling sensation that travels through his body. 

It’s almost indescribable but— it’s sort of like pressure on his bladder, but so much better— and so fucking addictive.

“A—ah fuck— ngh..”

“Fuck.. wish I was doing that to you right now.”

Oh—

He shudders, can’t even muster a “shut up” because— in all honesty, Jimin is better at this. Even though it feels good, the position is difficult, and he can’t quite recreate that delicious pressure Jimin put on it.

“Feel the stretch?”

“Mmh.” 

The thing is, it goes way easier than last time— it’s like his body is just giving into it, or maybe it’s because they’re his own fingers, he knows what hurts and doesn’t hurt.

“Mmh fuck.. I want to see.”

For some reason Jimin’s desperate tone makes him rub against his prostate a little harder— even though it should disgust him, the idea of Jimin wanting him this bad is spreading pleasure through his body.

“You always want to watch.” He pants, doesn’t know why he even indulges. “So fucking weird.”

“You think so?” Jimin doesn’t even seem offended. “You sure liked watching me under the showers.” 

Shit he forgot about that.

His face burns up at the memory, and though he doesn’t want to see it, flashes of Jimin throwing his head back— eyes rolling back— the way he said he wanted to come all over him.

“Aah— fuck.” 

He pushes another finger in, wraps his hand around his cock. Ah, this is the fucking best feeling ever. Double pleasure fills his system as he massages his prostate and rubs over the head of his cock. It feels so full— so good.

“You sound close.”

“M’not.”

“You have to take it easy— finger yourself slow.”

He tries to take Jimin’s advice, but after half a minute he can’t help it, fucks his fingers in deeper, hates that he loves that wet sound it makes. 

“Can you take another?”

“A—ah already.”

“Oh really?” 

“Mmh..”

“Fuck.. so good, you sucked my fingers right in last time too..”

A shut up is right on his tongue, but the memory of Jimin’s fingers has him drooling against his pillow. He tries so fucking hard, pushes three fingers in deep, curls them against his prostate— clenches around his fingers but—

“F-fuck, how are you so fucking good at this?”

It slips from his mouth in his brainless state, but then his eyes widen.

“Mmh.. could finger you and blow you at the same time, you know.”

Jesus—

He buries his face in his pillow, but everything feels hot. The air he breathes in, his fingers inside, his hand around his cock— it’s too much.

He should just tell Jimin to shut up— to only give instructions, but he can’t bring himself to care— he’s slipping away. 

“Yeah?”

That’s the only pathetic thing that comes out of his mouth. 

Jimin moans softly from the other end. 

“Yeah— want to stretch you open for my cock.”

Jeongguk gasps, swallows a moan as he moves his hips back on his fingers, eyes fluttering shut. 

He keeps hoping he’ll feel something like discomfort but the mention of Jimin’s dick just brings him closer to his climax, that heat accumulates fast in the pit of his stomach.

“You’re close aren’t you?”

“Mmh.”

“Video call me.”

Ah, fuck, he forgot about that part.

It’s when he grabs his phone that the shame really hits him, tears well up in his eyes when he calls Jimin, fingers deep inside, body on edge. He’s so fucking pathetic.

Jimin appears on his screen then, just his face, flushed, rosy and pretty, head against his pillow, blonde hair a bit of a mess, lips looking sinful. 

God. Getting head and being fingered at the same time.. by him. 

His dick twitches, and this time he can’t strangle the whine that comes out of his mouth. 

Jimin covers his mouth with the back of his hand, but his eyelids sink a little.

“Fuck— you won’t let me see huh?”

“No.” 

He pants softly,. 

“Just your face, then?”

There’s a glint in Jimin’s eyes he hasn’t seen before, it’s almost puppy-like. 

He bites his lip, turns his camera on. There’s only one small light on in his room so his face isn’t that visible, but it seems it’s enough for Jimin.

“Mmh— fuck.. you look wrecked.”

Even through a screen he can tell Jimin is checking him out, those eyes run over his face, and then that wet, rhythmic sound comes through his earphones, along with that glazed over look in his eyes.

Demon.

He licks his lips, slowly moves his fingers again, tries to build that same rhythm, as he watches Jimin’s pretty face— those full lips. 

The head of his cock tingles each time he hits his prostate, but he can’t move his other hand down since he’s holding his phone, but he feels his orgasm nearing either way— which is insane. 

“Mmh— sounds so good, you used a lot of lube, can hear how wet it is.”

“Stop listening.”

“Why? Can’t watch so I’ll have to do with the audio.”

God, this guy is insane. 

But he can’t slow down, feels that build up, the way his muscles clench and unclench every time he brushes against his prostate. 

“A—ah fuck.”

“Rub them in little circles, feels even better.” 

Jeongguk bites the inside of his cheek to hold back sounds as he tries, but then whimpers anyway because god. It’s so fucking good.

“Fuck— love that sound. So fucking hot.”

Jeongguk can barely stay sane, looks at the screen but it’s just Jimin’s face— 

“Show me— wanna see—“

Fuck, he shouldn’t say that.

Shouldn’t even want to watch. 

“Mmh— you wanna see my cock?”

Fucking hell. 

He doesn’t say anything, but Jimin knows him by now, that smirk that pulls on his lips when he takes too long to answer.

“Of course love.”

Jimin flips his camera, and Jeongguk’s mouth waters when he sees that pretty cock on his screen. Hard and flushed and wet. Jimin even brings the camera closer, shows just how much the head of his cock is leaking, pearly white precum spilling from the slit.

“Oh— oh fuck.” He pants, fucks himself on his fingers a little harder, brain full of static. “M’gonna come.”

“Good boy.”

Jimin’s voice is so sweet and so dirty at the same time— but it adds to the heat, the shame somehow turns to pleasure too.

“Keep watching me— imagine my dick inside of you.”

Jeongguk watches with his face flushed as Jimin tugs on his cock, works it so good, twists his wrist, rubs the head. Fuck— it looks so wet— so big. The memory of it pushing past his rim— Jimin’s cum inside of him.

He can’t even hit his prostate properly but he’s fingering himself so hard that it doesn’t matter— everything feels good— his bed creaks underneath him, he can’t keep his mouth shut.

“Want— want you to— fill me up.”

“Nngh— fucking hell.”

Jimin’s body goes taut, and on the screen Jeongguk can see perfectly how cum shoots from the head of his cock over his stomach, slick and white and pretty.

That’s enough to send him over the edge. He doesn’t even have to touch his dick, he just feels his rim clench around his fingers, his own body doing all the work for him— pleasure taking over.

“Aah fuck— Jimin—”

Fireworks explode when he comes— all his muscles clench, and his fingers press right against his prostate. His dick twitches with every spurt, cum hitting his stomach and chest as he tries to look at the screen.

It’s impossible— his vision is blurry, that heat inside of him just completely takes over, and he just keeps coming. Keeps pressing against his prostate for more— longer— that amazing feeling. 

But it doesn’t last as long as with Jimin— and he whines just a bit, tries circling his fingers, tries rubbing it slow— but his orgasm is already over and fuck— he wants more.

“Fuck— want me to fill you up?”

Jimin’s voice comes through his earphones then, waking him up.

Oh shit.

Did he say that out loud?

He looks at the screen, sees Jimin, completely out of breath, face red.

He slowly slips his fingers out, doesn’t even dare to look, feels a mix of dread and relief and he doesn’t know which one is taking the upper hand.

“I— I just said that to make you come.” 

He lies, tries to sound convincing but Jimin huffs out a soft laugh.

“Of course, cause you’re always so concerned whether I come or not.”

Shit.

He turns off his camera, doesn’t want Jimin to see him get flushed.

“We both got what we wanted— so, I’m gonna hang up.”

“Wait.” 

Jimin sits up quickly, stares at the screen with a bit of concern.

So he waits, doesn’t know why he even listens.

“Wanna keep doing this?” Jimin asks. “Phone sex, every night?”

He blinks a few times.

but, it’s actually not a bad idea at all.

He’s been craving good sex, and.. fuck, this seems to do the trick pretty well. Plus, they’re not physically in the same place, there’s less risk. Here he can’t accidentally end up kissing Jimin all night. Or be put on his back.

“Yeah— if you.. if you want to.”

“I want to.” Jimin says, a little out of breath. “If it’s like this..”

Oh.

“I’m not— I’m not always gonna finger myself.”

He burns up just thinking about it, but Jimin smirks on his screen.

“Sure. Same time tomorrow?”

Fuck.. this is a mistake. He knows it is, and yet—

“Yeah. Call me.”

next chapter