selective homophobia • part 4 (Patreon)

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The double date is going pretty well actually, for the most part. Apparently Jimin Dongwon and Soo-jin are great friends so the vibe isn’t awkward, and Jeongguk is just listening to any story they have to tell about their shared bachelor.

And Jimin was right, Soo-jin is his type on paper, she’s outgoing, she’s a little clumsy, she’s outspoken, she’s funny.. 

But, his gaze involuntarily keeps drifting off to Jimin.  

It’s not even that Jimin is dressed particularly different for the date or anything, but the white tank top really hugs around his chest well, and it’s showing his toned arms in a way he has never really registered.

He didn’t think arms particularly would do anything for him, but Jimin’s arms somehow look good with that summer tan. Not to mention the jewellery, his silver rings, chrome heart necklace hanging low between his pecs, his hoop earrings and helix.. 

But it’s not even just that that his eyes keep drifting off to; it’s the way Jimin smiles, his front teeth all on display, his eyes almost all the way shut— and sometimes, when he’s laughing particularly hard he loses balance, leans against Dongwon for support.

Yeah, it’s bad. 

It’s worse when they end up playing this stupid truth or dare game. It’s all of that what’s your most embarrassing memory to who was your first crush at first, which is relatively mild and fun, but after a few more drinks Jimin’s cheeks start turning rosy and he says something along the lines of spicing up the game.

At first it doesn’t register, he’s fully prepared for more shots or something along those lines, but when the box of pocky sticks falls in the midst of their little prayer circle, his breath hitches.

“You’re fine with that right?” Jimin asks. Asks him specifically. “If you end up with Dongwon or me for a pocky game?”

All eyes are on him, and he would probably— if he were in his right mind— have said no. No, he’s notcomfortable doing the pocky challenge with Dongwon. But alas, the other part of his brain is taking the reins right now, the part that really wants to end up doing the pocky challenge with Jimin.

“Yeah, all good.” 

He nods.

Luckily, the first round, he ends up doing the challenge with Soo-Jin. It’s nothing too serious, when he puts the end of the pocky stick into his mouth, and she takes the other end, they’re both just chuckling a little.

“Wow.. you two look cute together.” 

Jimin comments.

It should be a good thing, but he just feels a little jolt of discomfort, ends up biting the end off by accident, immediately.

It sends all three of them into a fit of laughter.

“That nervous?” 

“No I— sorry—“

“It’s okay.” Soo-jin chuckles, cups his jaw and squeezes. “you’re adorable.”

See normally he wouldn’t really mind being touched so familiarly on the first date, but right now he peeks at Jimin for some reason, in the hopes he hasn’t noticed. 

But Jimin— rightfully— just gives him a wink. A yeah, she’s into you type of look. 

He bites on his tongue.

But the evening gets worse, really, cause why does he have to witness Dongwon and Jimin do the pocky challenge? 

He’s already seen them kiss, he doesn’t need to see them all giddy when they bite pieces off little by little until their lips touch. But he can’t look away and risk Soo-jin catching him in his selective homophobia, so he just squeezes his leg in pure frustration until they finally part.

Dongwon blinks at him a few times, both his eyebrows raise, and oh fuck he’s probably glaring. 

He quickly smiles and looks away, but he can’t hide for long. The evening reaches an all time low. 

Ever since he found out his selective homophobia was in fact just him liking boys, it’s all gone downhill but this.. 

Dongwon takes the end of the pocky stick in his mouth, gives him a grin and all when he takes the other side. 

For some reason, both Soo-jin and Jimin are having the time of their lives just watching the two of them. Jeongguk is sure he is the only person in the room wanting to sink through the floor. 

But he won’t lose to Dongwon.

Even if it’s a pocky game where their lips slowly get closer and closer, he won’t lose.

Maybe that’s why the room gradually falls quiet, he’s committed, maybe even a little intense as he bites off more of the pocky stick, until he sees the confidence drain from Dongwon’s face. 

Yeah, whatever he was grinning about before, he’s now getting antsy. Jeongguk gains a sick sense of satisfaction from it, even tilts his head a little more as if he’s going in for a kiss when he bites of more of the pocky, barely an inch away.

That’s when Dongwon gasps and breaks away first.

Hah. 

He can’t help the way the corner of his mouth curls up as he eats the last bit of pocky. 

“Woah— that was insane.” Dongwon laughs, a little perplexed. “I thought you’d back down easy.”

He only chuckles softly as a response, looks over at Soo-jin, who just gives a slow clap. But right next to her, Jimin is dead silent, the blush on his nose and cheeks a little deeper than before, his lips parted slightly, blinking slowly; it’s sort of lewd, as if he was enjoying the show.

When they make eye contact, it tingles in his body. He’s not sure what exactly it is about Jimin’s eye contact but it’s almost like some sort of static fills the air, and all he can do is hold his breath. 

It stays until Jimin finally breaks eye contact, that’s when the pressure releases and he can breathe again.

What the fuck was that?

He’s not entirely sure if he’s in danger, if that was some sort of jealousy, or something else entirely, but there’s a lingering tension in his body.

So he’s not all that present when Dongwon and Soo-jin do the pocky challenge, his eyes keep darting to the blonde across of him. 

When Jimin and Soo-Jin are matched up though, he’s tuned in. 

And it’s got nothing to do with Soo-Jin’s long black hair, nor her glossy lips.

No, it’s Jimin’s lips he can’t take his eyes off, the way they inch closer with each small bite, soft and plump. He loses focus however when another buzz of static fills his body, and when he lifts his gaze, Jimin is looking right at him.

All of the air gets knocked out of his lungs. 

Jimin and Soo-jin are so close they’re almost locking lips, but Jimin’s half-lidded, glazed-over eyes are looking at him.

The world zooms out, his heartbeat thumps against his chest so hard, but he can’t look away, he can’t tear his eyes off. 

In the end it’s Soo-jin who breaks away first, chuckling and slapping Jimin’s shoulder. Dongwon says something too but Jeongguk’s ears are ringing; he’s caught in Jimin’s gaze like a fly in a spider-web, he can’t fight his way out of it. 

It’s only when Jimin breaks eye contact that the world starts coming back. That he can breathe properly, chest rising and falling quite fast.

This can’t be good.

He’s got to call the helplines.

Taehyung and Yoongi will be hearing from him shortly, whether they like it or not. 

Cause whatever that was— yeah, that’s not normal. 

Eye contact shouldn’t feel loaded.

If he thought the worst had passed he’s wrong. So wrong.

Jimin gets another pocky, places the end between his teeth, and quirks a brow at him.

He almost breathes oh fuck out loud.

“Jimin has to win for my honour.” 

Dongwon comments, probably to lighten to mood somewhat. And at least Soo-jin chuckles, cause Jeongguk can’t find his voice at all as he takes the other end of the pocky.

Fuck. 

Kill him.

He’s sure he’s wide-eyed when Jimin inches closer, bites of quite a bit of the pocky. His heart isn’t even beating properly anymore it’s just doing backflips.

But that urge to run away isn’t there anymore— though his nerves are through the roof right now, there’s excitement underneath it, prickling under the surface of his skin as he bites off another piece, inches closer to Jimin.

Jimin’s eyes glint with something he can’t name, and the way he lets his eyelids sink is illegal. 

More than helplines he might need an ambulance.

When Jimin bites off another tiny piece, their lips are barely an inch apart. 

His every inhale is shaky, his cheeks burn under Jimin’s gaze, and if he leans in any closer, their lips are going to touch. 

And with both Soo-jin and Dongwon watching, he chooses the safe way out, leans back first, lets Jimin win.

It’s almost like the entire room was holding their breath, once he’s out of Jimin’s vicinity both Soo-jin and Dongwon laugh and clap for Jimin’s victory.

Meanwhile he’s completely out of it. The image of those plush lips so close burned on his retina. He doesn’t even dare to look at Jimin, let alone congratulate him on his win. 

He goes straight for his drink. 

That might help. 

If he just downs his drink and downs another one, he’ll probably.. 

Yeah no there’s no way he’s going to forget that. But hey, at least he’ll be drunk.

After the whole pocky thing he sort of thought they’d wrap up the night, but once he gets back from his refreshments, the three of them are engaged in conversation.

When he sits back down, he can feel Jimin’s eyes on him before he meets them, swallows hard.

“What about you?” Soo-jin turns towards him, cheeks a little pink. “Are you a dom, sub, or switch?”

..

Oh.

Okay.

Yeah.

Those drinks helped but not that much. 

“Uh.. are we.. are you—“

“Well Jimin is a dom, Dongwon and I are switches, so..” Soo-jin grins, eyes twinkling. “What are you?”

Fuck.

He’s done a test once before when a girl asked him to do it, and it came down to sub top. Back then he was so embarrassed, she wanted him to be a dom but on the scale he was almost entirely a sub. 

All eyes are on him again, but only one set of them burns. 

He casts a glance at Jimin, then quickly looks down at the ground.

“I’m uh.. not sure.” He shrugs. “Probably a switch?”

He’s not sure why he’s lying, but he can’t tell a predator that he’s a prey. 

“Mm.” Soo-jin nods. “I thought so.”

Yeah. 

Good.

He does not meet Jimin’s gaze out of pure self-preservation.

“Next one’s a dare for the entire group.” Dongwon says as he takes the card from the deck. “Whisper something dirty into the ear of the person next to you.”

Oh no.

“I’ll start.” 

Jimin volunteers, leans into Dongwon the next moment. 

And that just kind of makes it worse. Because in order that’s Jimin to Dongwon, Dongwon to Soo-jin, Soo-jin to him, and finally, him to Jimin. 

Not that Jimin to him would have been better, that would probably be even worse, if Jimin said something dirty to him now he’d probably have to excuse himself from this game.

But— fuck, what is he going to say to Jimin?

He can barely focus on what’s happening around him, only notices it’s Soo-jin’s turn when he feels her breath against his ear.

“If you play pocky for real with me, I can show you how good I am with my mouth.”

Oh..

His cheeks burn up a little, and when he looks at her, she gives him a wink before going for her drink.

See, even Soo-jin is good at this, got him a little flustered. 

What the hell is he supposed to say to Jimin?

Jimin is dating Dongwon for god’s sake, he can’t say something dirty. Can he just not do it?

Jimin seems to be waiting for it though, leaning back on his arms, legs folded.

Ah..

Fuck.

Something about hentai would be funny, maybe? Maybe he should just make it funny. 

“You know I don’t mind right?” Dongwon asks him then, with a small chuckle. “Jimin and I are together but it’s not like I’m jealous or anything, just go ahead.”

Ugh.

He thinks he’s oh so woke.

Something ugly spreads in his chest as he crawls over to Jimin— something selfish.

When he aligns his mouth with Jimin’s ear his lips tingle as if they know he shouldn’t say this; shouldn’t go this far.

“I like it when you wear nothing but underwear around the house.”

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