A Gamer's Guide 416 (Patreon)

“My…? Oh, yeah,” he said, evidently having forgotten that he’d sliced up his arm for the sake of visual learning. “Here you go,” he said, handing it to her.

Accepting it, she prepared a new bit of thread. “I’d love to know how it’ll work for me to become your apostle properly, but, before that, could you please tell me what’s up with… Whatever it is that happened just know?” She made a face at the memory. “Could they even see you? What was that? I don’t…”

“It’s a new miracle,” Kitty said, the disgust tangible in his voice. Like it was something filthy. At a few pokes of the air, he seemingly pulled up the description, his eyes moving slowly as he read aloud, “‘The hopes of mortals are crystalized through You. They see who they hope most to see. Become hope.’ And the name of it… You Hope. Eugh. I’m not sure why it only showed up now, but… I think my stealth skills were repressing it. But now it’s free, and…”

“And the only reason I’m not affected is because I’m your apostle,” she finished, giving him a long look. He glanced away. “You knew. You knew I only see you properly because I’m your apostle.”

“Yeah.”

“And still, you’d be okay if I said no? If I didn’t want to become your apostle?”

“Of course. It’s a big thing. I can’t force you to do something like that because I want to look someone in the eye.”

She cocked her head. Still, he wouldn’t look at her. She returned to her stitching. Line by line, needle in, needle out. “And you can’t turn it off.” He shook his head. “Nor do you have any stealth skills to cancel it out.” No answer. “For it to be beaten by your normal hoping to hope miracle, you’d need whoever you meet to hope hard enough for it to get cancelled. But nobody you meet could possibly want that, because they’ve got the person they most hope to meet in front of them.” Kitty didn’t say anything. Not at all. Face downcast, he watched her fingers, moving deftly, pulling stitch after stitch. “So… You’re fucked, then?”

“Something like that.”

“Do you think they can be convinced? That you aren’t really the person they hope to see, that is?”

“No, I don’t think so. We can experiment with it, but I seriously doubt it.” He frowned, mostly to himself. “Critically, I don’t think Garath can be convinced. And, right now, he seems to see me as Ferruem. You might not know what that means, but… Well, you saw it. He’s not going to bring me anywhere or do me any favors as long as he thinks I’m his long-lost frenemy. And if my own angel who can literally read my thoughts can’t be convinced, then…”

“Yeah.”

He chuckled. “I guess you put it best. I’m fucked, aren’t I?”

“Well, not necessarily,” she said, pulling a thread tight. “You’re the god of hope. You’re only fucked if you think you are. As long as you have hope, we’ll figure something out. Worst case scenario, we’ll figure out some way to cope with it.”

“Yeah, that’s…” A thought struck him, and he suddenly broke out into a brief bout of laughter. “Isn’t that silly?” he said, once he’d gotten himself together. “You’re not even my proper apostle yet and you’re already out-hoping me! Wow. You’re a natural, Gecko.”

“What can I say? You got lucky, choosing the best of the best on your first try. The God of Comedy has no idea what He lost.”

“You snooze, you lose,” Kitty said. “Also, I know this might not make sense to you, but you absolutely do not need to capitalize my title. Actually, don’t use my title. Just call me Kitty. Refer to me as you need when you’re with other people, but if we’re talking together and you call me hope, capitalized or not, I’m going to explode. And that would suck for us both.” A sudden thought struck him. “Oh, and… Don’t use my real name.”

“Your real name?” Rafiloe said, fastening the final bits of thread.

“Yeah. I don’t know why, but Pain warned me about the supposed power my name holds. That is, Lo Fennrick. No idea what using it might do, but if He’s warning me about it, then it could be really bad. Maybe you should even tell your buddies in the kitty-club?”

Rafiloe carefully cut off the last bit of thread. “Alright. If you say so, Kitty.”

He paused before saying anything else. “Thanks for not using any of my other names there. It must have taken a lot of will-power.”

She nodded gravely. “Yeah, it did. Hurt me deeply, to be honest.”

They stared at each other. Then, unable to keep it in anymore, they both burst out laughing, slapping each other on the back and gasping for breath. In the end, wiping the tears from her eyes, Gecko turned towards the closed door. She felt the smile slowly glide off her face. “They’re still out there, huh?”

“Yeah,” Kitty said, eyes affixed on the door. “I have no idea how we’re going to explain this.”

“How I’m going to explain this, you mean?” Going by the way he was looking at her, he hadn’t quite caught up with her thought process. “Because, you know… You can’t talk to them. They won’t see you. They’ll see Henry, or their dad, or Ferruem, or… Fatima, I think Prop said.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Which means, it’s time for your apostle to do her first duty!”

“It’s not official yet, though.”

“Well, sure, but… Close enough!” Putting her sewing kit back in her inventory, she hopped off the bed. “Now, let’s see… I’ll have to explain the current situation, reassure them about the future, and, most importantly, announce to them that they must henceforth kneel whenever they see me, because I’m the apostle of hope, and must be shown respect to.” She shot Kitty a grin eerily similar to that of a mischievous kitty-cat and flashed the peace-sign. “If they don’t, I’ll eat them right up!”

“Cannibalism is no joke,” Kitty deadpanned.

She paused halfway to the door. “I’m not sure whether I like that joke or not.”

“If you don’t enjoy my stupid and frankly insensitive jokes, I’m not sure you’ll be able to handle being my apostle. Maybe look into becoming the god of kings’ apostle instead?”

“Good idea. I’ll keep it in mind. I’d still like to be your apostle for a while, though. Internships look really good on the resume, after all.”

“Fine. But you’re on thin ice, Gecko.” Saying so, he tossed her a real stinker of a glare, the kind usually reserved for misbehaving workers. 

Bowing respectfully to her new employer, Gecko removed the iron beam, and slipped outside, finding all four of the people she had dragged outside still in the hallway, though in different positions. Garath and Lett had both thawed, Garath pacing up and down the hallway while Lett sat next to Maggie, her arm absently around his shoulder, saying nothing as he fiddled with the hem of his nightgown. Going by the thousand-yard stare on him, seeing his father had not been an expected part of his morning routine. 

The gathered people turned to her almost as one, varying levels of harrowing disreality on each face. Garath stopped his pacing a few meters away. Maggie and Lett’s eyes both shone up, glossy and heavy. Prop said nothing, but it was clear what was on his mind.

“So,” Gecko said, and then she took a deep breath, hoping that by the time she’d released it, she might know what to follow it up with. “Um… I’m not sure what you’ve talked about out here, but, in case you’re unsure, then the person I was talking to in there was Kitty. Not Henry or Ferruem or your dad or Fatima.” Four pairs of quizzical but ultimately unsurprised eyes met her. “Any questions?”

Nobody said anything. Great! In that case—

A hand went up. She turned to find Lett’s infinitely pained eyes gazing up at her. She nodded at him uncertainly. “Why?” he asked. “Why—why would he do something so cruel? Was he just testing things out, or—” A big heavy sob heaved its way through his chest, emerging from his throat with a great spasm that shook every limb he had. “This was cruel, Gecko. I didn’t know he—”

“It wasn’t on purpose!” Gecko said, shutting him down with more insistence than she’d wanted. “This was… He had no idea this would happen. Trust me. If he could have chosen, he would rather this didn’t happen at all. But… he can’t control it. That’s why I’m out here talking to you. If you go in the room now, you won’t see him. You’ll see that person you want to see. No matter how painful it’ll be to have that hope reborn only to get crushed again.” She took a breath. “The only reason I’m not affected is because I happen to kind-of sort-of be his apostle right now.” A distinct lack of reactions met her, each person clearly too shaken by the previous statement to really care for her ascension. The only one who even seemed to have heard it at all was Lett, whose eye twitched at the statement.

“In other words,” Garath said, crossing his arms across his comically broad chest, “if I went in there, I’d see him as Ferruem? No matter what?”

“I don’t know,” Gecko admitted. “We still don’t know the details of how it works, or how long the effects are, or how exactly it’s activated. Which is why…” This would be the difficult one. Trying not to feel too exposed by the lack of her hat, Gecko drew herself up, and said, with as much courage as she could muster, “Would one of you be willing to come back inside with me to test out under what conditions the miracle activates?” 

The four pairs of eyes all darkened substantially. A fresh bout of sweat spread across her back. “Of—of course, if none of you want to, I’m sure we can find one of Kitty’s many devouts to—”

“I’ll do it,” Lett said. His eyes shone with a hollow determination. Slowly, on legs that shook and with arms that trembled, he clambered out of Maggie’s arms, shakily getting himself to his feet. “I’ll face him.”

“Ah, um, you really don’t have to…”

He placed his hand on her arm. There was a strength to him. Not just to his hand, but to his eyes, too. A steel she had only ever seen in a few other persons. “Whoever you ask to do this, they will all be shattered by it. But I know what’s coming. Please, let me do this.”

After a moment of muted shock, she finally found the strength to nod to him. “Alright,” she said. “We’ll try it. Just… I guess, for the first try, make an attempt at remembering that it isn’t your dad. It’ll look like him, but it won’t be him. Kitty will try not to act like him, so if you keep it in your mind that it really isn’t him, then… I think it’s possible.”

“I’ll try,” he said, his voice as clear and strong as a brass sword. 

“Good luck, Lett,” Garath said. “Stay strong, my friend.”

“I will.”