Intermission pt.8 I lied this is the real last chapter lolz (Patreon)

Simel felt his muscles lock up. 

A warm hand settled atop his head, its fingers spreading, until the hand held him fully. There was a deep sigh. “See, this is why I have to do this. I really don’t want to, but because she went and blabbered about a bunch of stuff, now, instead of assuming something reasonable, you think I’ve killed her. Is that any way to think about your friend?”

Legs giving out beneath him Simel fell to the ground, and there, on his hands and knees, the rain biting into his back and the winds howling high above, he scrambled over to Holly, pushing through the flowerpetals, flinching only a little each time the sky flashed and the thunder mumbled. “Holly,” he muttered, taking her by the shoulders, trying to see if there was still life in her. “Holly, please…” He turned her over and pressed his head against her chest, listening closer than he ever had before. “Oh, please, please, please…” Deep in there, quietly, slowly, but still there, still present, was the thumping of a heartbeat. He released a deep breath of relief. “Oh, thank the Gods, oh—”

A sigh. “Of course I didn’t kill the proxy of one of the peace council’s most important members. What kind of host would that make me? She’s only in a coma.” A thoughtful hum. “Though, considering that she did do this once, I may have to erase her memories a little, just to make sure she doesn’t try it again… Man, that’s gonna be a difficult one. I’m still not really adjusted to the fine-tuning of this whole thing, but, shoot, what can you do?”

“Oh, Holly, oh, Gods,” Simel moaned, on his hands and knees, trying to pull Holly into his lap, because she wouldn’t be safe, lying there like that, he had to bring her somewhere, to make sure that she—

Something pressed into his back, knocking him off-balance and pushing him into the flowerpetals face-first, a heavy weight bearing down in the middle of his back. 

“Come on, Simel,” came a voice from above. “You’re smart. Be reasonable about this, okay? I mean, really. You meet this random human, what, three times, and now you’ll agree to run away with her? Is it that painful to stay with me?”

Simel couldn’t think. His mind was buzzing and all he could think about was Holly lying next to him, her mouth slacked open like a dead-man’s, the rain whipping down and the thunder rumbling, and when he turned to look up, all he could see was Kitty—his good friend Kitty—with his foot on his back and his head haloed by the deep swirling tempest above. That didn’t make sense. That’s not how Kitty acted. That’s not—

A foot jimmied itself beneath his chest, and with a light kick, he turned over, forcing him to look up at Kitty, at where he stood, the rain smattering into him, his face blank and his eyes dark except for those pinpricks, brighter than the moon high above. 

Simel panted up at him, rain running down his face, soaking into his robe, his mind as chaotic as the sky above. He couldn’t think over the rain and the thunder. He could barely even hear the beating of his own heart, rabbit-like and terrified, coursing boiling blood through his frozen limbs, trying to tell him to no avail that he had to run that this was no time to freeze, that if he didn’t run now then—

Kitty knelt down atop him, pressing his knee into Simel’s chest, forcing the breath from his lungs and making his ribs creak dangerously. He hunched down closer, closer, until their faces were almost touching, and until all Simel could see was the dark face of his closest friend. 

“Why, Simel? Why did you have to be so dang curious about everything? Couldn’t you just accept things the way they were? We were having such a good time together! Why throw all that away?”

Breath rasping, mind blotting, Simel reached up, taking a hold of Kitty’s knee, trying to push it off, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move it at all. Kitty’s face swam in his vision.

“I just don’t get it, which is a bad thing, because I don’t want this to happen again. Next time,” he took his knee off Simel’s chest, only giving him a single moment to gasp, drawing a lone burning breath into his lungs before Kitty sat down atop it, “I’ll do it better. I’ll make it right.”

Simel gritted his teeth. Though their warmth was lost among the drops of rain streaming down his face, he knew he was crying. His face felt so hot and all he could think about was how this wasn’t right. This wasn’t how Kitty was supposed to act. Kitty was his friend, and Kitty would never do something as awful as—

“Simel, please, I’m trying to concentrate, and you thinking about ridiculous things isn’t helping.”

The rain roared and the winds howled and as Simel tried to understand what was happening and why his good friend would be doing something so awful to him, Kitty reached towards his face, and pressed his fingers against his forehead, and then through his skull, and then he felt those fingers, those fingers he had held daily for over a month, the same fingers he had caressed and that had combed through his mane and touched his cheek, those fingers spread across something, spread across him, touching folds and lobes that shouldn’t be touched, and he felt his jaw lock itself in place and his limbs tense with such force that he couldn’t have moved them no matter what, and then Kitty grabbed hold of it, grabbed hold of him, and   pulled him   out of  his    skull.

Simel heard a scream but he didn’t know whose and when he looked up he saw Kitty holding him, holding his brain, holding the innermost part of him, the part that should never be removed no matter what and he saw—he saw—it wasn’t—but it was—someone had   eaten  him. Bites taken out of his cerebrum nibbles from his cerebellum lobes chumped and cortex chewed and it was   wrong that wasn’t how it was supposed to look and he knew it. “What    have   you  done ?” 

From beyond the him above where he was held there was the face of Kitty looking down at him frowning unhappy and sad and he said, saying, “I had to do it, Simel. You were so miserable! I couldn’t just let you die. What kind of friend would that make me? I had to, so I”        chomp          “you. I really didn’t have a choice. And if you only hadn’t been so gosh darn curious, I wouldn’t have had to do it again. But now I do, so here we are.”

Simel was a curious goblin who had never met a mystery that couldn’t    chomp    him and so he had had to know because the curiosity had told him to. “How  could you? You’ve” Every raindrop was a lightning strike jolts of agonizing pain crashing through his body but he couldn’t move couldn’t seize could only lie there crushed by his friend the breath refusing to enter his lungs. Rain eternal storm swaying. “You’ll have to do it again. Again after this. It won’t stop. It’ll never stop. I’ll always find my way back to the truth.”

“No,” Kitty said, holding him in both hands, turning him over, looking at him, trying to find where to    chomp    next. “This time, I’ll make sure you won’t be so dang curious all the time. I’m not sure how, but I’ll find that little piece, and I’ll gobble it away. So when you wake up, you won’t know this happened, and everything will be okay.”

“It won’t be me, then,” Simel said, the very curious goblin, the curious goblin who wanted to know if the caged beast was really a beast or only an animal, the curious goblin who wanted to know if the caged animal liked sweet treats, the curious goblin who wanted to know if the caged animal could enjoy the stars as a goblin could, because then it wouldn’t be an animal at all—it’d be more. “I won’t be the one to wake up. It’ll be something else.”

“You haven’t exactly given me any other choice, Simel.”

“This is,” gasping, mind blotting, clouds swirling, rain crying, “the only choice you’ve given yourself. Because this is the only choice that gives you what you want—a blissfully ignorant Simel, perfect to keep, perfect to heap your affections on. Is that all you’ll allow me to be? A thing to adore and pour love into?” Fire in his chest, ice in his limbs, high above, trembling pupils watched him, blank and shining. “Had you ever wanted me as a friend, then you would have accepted me when I am like this. You would have seen my dour mood and comforted me as friends do. But you didn’t. You’ve never wanted a friendship from me, have you? All you’ve ever wanted me to be is happy and eager to love and be loved—no better than a pet.”

A strike of lightning lit Kitty’s face, twisted up in grief and despair, eyes large and gleaming. “No. No, that isn’t… That’s not it.”

“A true friend would never do something like this to their friend. You’d respect my autonomy. But you haven’t—you never have. And no matter how much you chip away from my brain, eventually, I’ll always come to that realization. Even if you fix me every time that happens, eventually, you’ll run out of Simel. Eventually, there’ll be nothing left to chip away. What will you do then, Kitty? When I’m dead, and you have no one left to pet?” 

“Stop. Stop it. Don’t say that. I don’t want to… I can’t…” His back hunched, and even in the rain, Simel could see the tears streaming down his face, gleaming like crystals. Arms falling listlessly to his sides, his head lowered, until Simel could see him clearly again, his face framed by his falling hair, wet by the rain. “I just don’t want to lose you. Is that such a bad thing? If I kill you, I lose you. If I let you go, I’ll lose you. I just want you to stay with me forever and ever.”

Reaching up, breathing heavily, Simel cupped Kitty’s head in his hand, running his thumb over his cheek, feeling the warmth of his tears. Kitty leaned into him, closing his eyes. “I’ll have to go eventually, Kitty. Please. Let me go of my own will.”

Kitty’s lower lip trembled into a frown. Brows pinched, he held his own hand against Simel’s, briefly smiling, letting his mind fly far, far away, if only for a moment. And then he opened his eyes, and reality returned to him, as he looked down to see Simel, the smile slipping away from him, lost to the wind and rain. His face twisted in grief. “Damn it, Simel,” he muttered, but the thunder had stopped. He turned away from him, looked off at the castle, and then he turned back to Simel, his face flushed and his eyes dark. “Damn it. Damn it!” 

He pressed Simel’s mind back into his skull, and then stepped off of him, pacing up and down the driveway, groaning and rubbing his face as the winds slowly receded and the clouds slowly left the sky. 

Simel could finally breathe again. And it was delicious. He gasped, filling his lungs, and then began to cough violently as the sudden influx of air seemed to have been just a tad too much. Off to the side, Kitty had stopped pacing to watch him, an infinitely guilty look on his face. 

“Damn it, damn it, damn it,” he continued, banging his head with his fist. 

Sitting up, Simel blinked slowly, feeling the weight of reality settle back into his guts. He looked up at the sky. The rain was starting to let up, too. Soon the other moons began to peek out, one by one, until the world was bright again. 

Simel looked to his side, grimacing at the sight of Holly. “Oh, Holly,” he muttered hoarsely. 

A pace or two off, Kitty froze mid-step. He shot the both of them a strange look, but as soon as it arrived, it was gone again, wiped off with a slap courtesy of the god himself. “No!” he said, very loudly, yet still only to himself. “No, no, no, I’m not—that’d be… Damn it!” 

Simel squinted at him in the darkness. Once he’d gotten Kitty’s attention, he jerked a thumb at Holly. “Um, would you…?”

Kitty sniffled. “Damn it,” he muttered, again, but he still waved his hand, making Holly spasm back to life, heaving herself to a sitting position and whipping her face around with all due befuddlement. 

“Who—what—where—” 

Simel was just about to answer her when he noticed that the human in question had teleported several paces away, sitting with his knees clutched to his chest and his hands cradling his head. Like a misbehaving child trying to hide from his parents. Simel sighed at the sight. Scootching closer, he put his hand on her shoulder, making her jerk in surprise. “It’s alright,” he told her. “You’re fine.”

“What—what happened? Where’s…?” Following Simel’s gaze, her eyes also fell on him, where he sat, just a bit away. She tensed at the sight. “What happened? Did he…?”

“I… I think I convinced him not to,” Simel said. “But I still have to… I’m going to talk to him, okay?”

“You—why? Are you insane? Why the fuck would you—”

He smiled at her. “I just… It’s something I have to do. I think, with everything that’s happened… It’s the right thing to do.”

At that, though it took a moment for his words to settle in, she did relax a little. “...Alright. I get it. Just… Be careful.”

“I will.”

Standing up, Simel turned towards where Kitty sat. It was brighter now. The clouds were all gone, so he could see the sky perfectly well. Even then, it was still raining a little. A few drops, sprinkling down. It was nice. He didn’t hate it. Still, he walked through it, crossing the distance between them, all the way over to where Kitty sat, curled up and little. 

Simel hunched down next to him. “Hello.”

A dark eye peered out from above his knee. “Both curious and brave. That’s the most dangerous combination.”

“I know.”

“You’ll really get hurt one day.”

“Yeah. But not today.”

Kitty sniffled. “Most people I’ve known haven’t been that lucky.”

“That’s probably true.” For a moment or so, they simply watched one another. Simel held out his hand to him. Kitty, after a second, took it. Holding his hand, Simel stood up, and pulled Kitty along. Even though Kitty was much bigger, he let himself be raised by Simel, until they were both standing. Simel smiled up at him. Above him, he could only see the darkness of the treetops. “Over here,” he said, pulling Kitty towards the city, towards the little ledge overlooking it. “Let’s sit over here.”

He took a seat on the ledge, letting his feet dangle over the city, beneath the sky. Kitty tentatively followed suit, sitting next to him. At first, he looked at Simel, but then, mutely, he followed Simel’s gaze, looking out at the city, and up at the stars.

It really was a beautiful sight. The stars were as dense as a jewelry box, sprawling across the sky in great gleaming clusters, the moons acting as their center pieces, glimmering more brightly than any lone stars. With the sky as cloudless as it was, there was nothing to hide the stars. Below, the city was almost completely dark, only a few lone night watchmen lighting up alleyways here and there. The river bisecting the city was nothing but a pure inky blackness, reflecting the stars only imperfectly, glittering and sparkling instead of staying still. At the sight of it all, Simel felt so little—but not small. To be small, he would have had to be alone. 

He sighed. “It’s a beautiful city you have.” Kitty didn’t answer. He was still crying, silently, his tears glittering like the river below. Simel smiled at him. “I’m going to go. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the day after. I’m not sure yet, but… I’ll go. But I want you to know that I still enjoyed our time together.”

Eyes still on the stars, still unable to look at Simel, even though he must have known the answer, Kitty asked, his voice small, “Will you ever come visit?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know that yet.”

“Okay. I understand.” 

A stray bit of wind combed through Simel’s mane. For a minute or so, neither of them said anything. They simply sat there, watching the stars. And, as they did, the rain started to let up, little by little. Once the rain had stopped fully, Simel reached inside his coat, removing the prayer-book. It was a little wet, but the ink had survived, and the leather would be fine once it dried. He looked it over for a moment, and then held it out to Kitty. 

Kitty, tilting his head, accepted it, holding it before his face with both hands. Then, once he’d looked it over, he turned back to Simel, frowning in confusion.

“I won’t need it anymore,” Simel said, simply. “But I’d like you to keep it. As a reminder.”

It took a moment for the meaning to settle in. Then, Kitty nodded, a single poke drying the book fully. He put it at his side. And with that, there was nothing else left. As soon as Kitty understood that, his shoulders shot up, and Simel could see, even by the tawny moonlight, that it took everything Kitty had not to break out into tears again. He could be so silly sometimes. Hands clenched, pupils trembling, Kitty turned to Simel and asked, as sincerely as he ever asked anything, “Simel, before you go, can I hug you?”

Simel paused. His mind was still so conflicted, and his heart was no better. Every thought he had was a hazard and every emotion the same. Even now, he still couldn’t fathom everything that had happened, everything he had learned, and everything it had meant. And yet, through it all, there was still one thing his mind and his heart was in agreement of: Kitty really, really loved him. 

Smiling mildly, Simel met Kitty’s gaze, and said, from the bottom of his heart, “Okay.”

Kitty reached out, spreading his arms, but gave pause, letting Simel be the one to close the gap. He did. He pressed himself into Kitty’s arms, and held him, closely, tightly, and as gently as he could. 

“I’ll miss you so much.”

“Thank you for letting me go.”

Kitty trembled in his arms. But still, when Simel released his hold on him, so too did Kitty release him, letting the hug end. They smiled at one another, both of their eyes glittering from the stars above. 

Together, as one, they sat there, in the warm summer wind, watching the stars, as they had done so many years ago. 

They had never seen anything more beautiful.