A Life Kept Simple (DxD/Hentai Chaos Gacha OC-SI) — Chapter 25 (Patreon)

For your Tier 2s and Tier 3s wondering, "Why did I get notified of this?" Well, I made a major edit to the beginning of Scene 2 that you will have to read. It's good world building and important setup for the next arc.

“Fuck me,” I wheeze, slowing to a walk and dragging the bottom of my shirt across my forehead. Sweat has practically glued the thing to my back. “Tomorrow. Definitely doing less tomorrow.”

Without the wonders of magic, I’m a mostly average guy. Sure, the titty milk and Hanma (plus some training) have pushed my ordinary body to superhuman heights, but I can wear myself out if I really set my mind to it. It serves to push my baseline just that little bit higher, but three hours of hill sprints interspersed with long jogs still sucks.

“Takezo!”

…Oh, fuck. I know that voice.

I stop right as I pass my front gate and turn towards the house next door and find my neighbour coming down her front path. She’s smiling and raising a hand in greeting. It’s my other neighbour, not Mr Kobayashi, who lives to the right of my house with her three kids. The very same neighbour Ibaraki stared at through my window like an all-you-can-eat buffet.

“Women! Children! Men fattened on peace!”

“Morning!”

“Good morning, Miss Suzuha.” I manage a smile. “Everything alright?”

“Of course! I just wanted to thank you.”

...Thank me?

“For what?” I ask slowly.

“Well, not you.” She laughs. “I wanted to thank your sister. She’s a little strange, isn’t she? Talks like she’s in one of those old period dramas.”

“You could say that. I think she’s in a phase.”

“Very polite, though! I was coming back from some shopping a few minutes ago, and she came right over to help me with the bags. Wouldn’t take no for an answer! Carried the groceries inside and even had the boys put everything away properly.”

“She… did?”

Miss Suzuha nods enthusiastically, but, to be honest, I’m finding it hard to believe. The same Ibaraki I saw yesterday?

“She was wonderful with the children, too. They absolutely adore her.”

…Huh?!

“Anyway, please thank her for me.”

“...Yeah. Sure. I’ll tell her.”

Miss Suzuha gives me another smile before heading back inside.

“What the fuck has she been doing while I’m gone?” I mutter as I fiddle with the front door. I wander down the hallway, but what I see in the living room has me retrace my steps back to the front door just to make sure I somehow didn’t enter the wrong house.

...What the fuck? The sofa is against the opposite wall, and the coffee table has moved with it. My rug’s just gone; the armchair’s next to the window. The only thing that hasn’t moved is the goddamn TV.

“Ah!”

Ibaraki comes out of the bathroom and meets me in front of the living room’s open door.

She beams at me. “What does thou think? I corrected it.”

“You corrected it?”

“Indeed! Your arrangement was dreadful. Furniture strewn about without thought, cupboards organised by madness—”

“...You touched the kitchen? My cupboards were organised!”

“Thou kept tea beside the rice.” Ibaraki folds her arms, looking down at me with unabashed expectation. “And now it is somewhere sensible. Thou art most welcome.”

“Everything was fine where it was at before! Now I don’t know where anything is, damn it!”

Her chest, puffed out until now, slowly deflates.

I tug my sweaty shirt off my back. “It’s my stuff. If you want to move something, ask!”

“...Very well.”

Her shoulders slump.

I sigh. “Look, I appreciate the effort. Just ask next time, alright?”

…Fucking hell, man. I reach into my pocket with a sigh and peel open the chocolate protein bar I bought on the way back home.

Ibaraki’s eyes lock onto it, and she straightens.

“What is that?” she asks.

“This?” I ask through a mouthful. “Protein bar.”

“What is on it?”

“Chocolate.”

I break a piece off and hand it over. Ibaraki examines it suspiciously before popping it into her mouth and chewing. It doesn’t take long for her to come to a decision on how she feels about it.

“...I desire more.”

“Well, this is the only one of those I’ve got, but if chocolate’s what you want…”

A glitching window opens up around my extended hand, and I reach into my inventory for the jar of cookies.

“You can have a few of these if you don’t break the jar. In fact, Ibaraki, I order you to make sure this jar doesn’t break at any cost. The entire world is finished otherwise.”

She frowns. “...I do not understand, but I will guard it with my life!”

“Mhm.”

She sits cross-legged on my newly relocated sofa with the jar hugged against her chest and shoves three cookies into her mouth all at once. Then, while those are still chock-full in there, she reaches in and grabs three more in preparation.

I finish my protein bar while looking at her in concern. “...Not that I’m worried you’ll run out of cookies, but define ‘a few’ for me, please. Oni or not, too many cookies are bad for you.”

“Begone.”

…Well, might as well leave her to it.

【—〄—】

The sizzle of bacon drags Mary right into the kitchen.

“...Takezo.”

I glance over my shoulder. “Morning.”

Mary stands in the kitchen doorway with her hair all over the place and one eye barely open. She’s wearing one of my shirts again. It hangs almost to her knees.

“...You woke me up,” she mumbles. “With your yelling.”

“Yeah, well, it’s eleven.” I turn back to the frying pan.

Mary grumbles and drags herself over to the table, where Ibaraki’s already sitting and still clutching my jar.

“Good morning,” Mary mumbles. She drops into the chair opposite her and lays her cheek against the table. I crack another egg into the pan.

“...You ate all those?” Mary asks.

I glance back. Ibaraki has five cookies stacked in front of her with crumbs all over her.

“Do not judge me, devil,” she says with a light blush. “These are simply divine.”

“Mhm. Whatever you say.”

I finish breakfast and bring everything over. Eggs, bacon, toast, the works. Ibaraki immediately abandons the cookies.

“So,” Mary says around a forkful of egg. “The Young Devil Gathering is coming up. It’ll be happening in Lucifaad. It’s been set up by the Satans for all the noble heirs about to make their formal rating game debuts.”

…Right. That was a thing here, wasn’t it? Rating Game battles and rankings and whatnot. I vaguely remember this happening after the peace talks, though.

“Wait…” I frown. “You said the Satans, as in plural?”

“I got a whole letter while I was at my dad’s house. There’ll be a few familiar faces. Riser and Ravel are gonna be there. So is Sairaorg Bael. Ooh! You’ll also get to meet the other two Satans’ family members. Three, if you count Diodora Astaroth, but you already met him.”

I blink. “Sona Sitri and Rias Gremory?”

“...How’d you know them?” Mary stares at me.

“Serafall,” I say quickly. “Speaking of… I’ve got a date today!”

She grins. “I still can’t believe I might get to sleep with Serafall Leviathan!”

“Whoa, whoa. How do you know she’s into girls?”

“She straight-up made out with a princess in Miracle☆Levia-tan!”

…Miracle, what? I shake my head and glance at Ibaraki, who’s continuing to scorf down cookie after cookie.

“Gimme that,” I say, leaning over and snatching the jar. She squawks out in alarm, chasing after me as I run out into the hallway and toss it straight into my inventory. “I said a few, not as many as you can eat!”

Ibaraki huffs as she takes her seat, reaching across the table for a slice of bacon. “...I could not resist.”

“How are you not full?!”

“It’ll be at the end of July. Apparently, I’m a last-minute invitation,” Mary continues. “I wonder why? Eh. Not that I’m complaining. I might be getting preferential treatment cause we’re together, but I worked hard too, damn it!”

“Yeah,” I say. “Besides, just think of all the morons who’ll see you on T.V., and it won’t matter as much. Not compared to how good it’ll feel, anyway.”

She grins, and as happy as I am for her, wasn’t this entire thing a rating game tournament? There’s a pretty obvious thing to point out here.

“So, what’s the plan?” I ask. “You don’t have a peerage.”

“...Yeah. I was planning to use this gathering as advertisement, sort of. The letter said they’re probably gonna make us all fight each other in a rating game tournament before our debut, but well…”

Well, shit.

I shovel some egg into my mouth and think about it. “Could ask Murata and the others.”

“What?”

“The guys. Murata, Seto, Tajima, Miyata, and Sasaki.” I shrug. “They know about the supernatural now. I told them. Might be worth asking if any of them are interested.”

“When?” Mary asks.

“After Notus’ funeral. I… I just didn’t like the thought of the people I care about being unable to protect themselves, so I decided to tell them. I can help people get stronger, to a degree, so there’s that, too.”

“...One of these days I’m going to ask where you get these bizarre powers from,” Mary says. “But for now, I’m thankful for it. I just—” She scratches her cheek. “I wasn’t asking you to fix it or anything. And they’re your friends, so I don’t want you thinking you have to—”

“Mary. I’ll ask. I’m not selling them to you.”

She laughs. “...Okay. Besides, I was thinking of reincarnating Leona, to be honest.”

“Not the worst idea. What piece?”

“Queen. She’s my best friend. But…” she trails off.

“What?”

“All these other people taking part. They’re the cream of the crop. Gremory, Sitri, Bael, Agares, Astaroth, Phenex—”

“Wait, Riser’s taking part?”

Mary nods. “Yeah. Ravel’s his Bishop. She told me about it during my date. It was a few days before I got my letter, funnily.”

“Huh.”

“Anyway… what I’m trying to say is that these peerages are full of people who’ve been training for ages. What the heck am I meant to do besides make a fool of myself?!”

I… should I even tell her this? Ah, fuck it.

“Look, I’m not gonna bullshit you. I think a big reason you got the invitation was that they expect me to come as your contracted mage and meet their up-and-comers.”

Mary sighs. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“But you’re not out of options. Murata and the guys are part of this magic pact thing called the Covenant. It’s a way of powering them up. And you and your peerage, if you join.”

She giggles.

“...It was the best name I could think of,” I say defensively. “That’s not the point. If you agree to the terms, I can grant you lesser versions of my own powers. But, and this is important, if you break the terms, you lose all the abilities you’ve gained.”

“So, water stuff?”

“Plus swordsmanship and a few other useful things.”

…But most of my rolls are, admittedly, useless. My luck is genuinely shit for the most part, only outside of the moments where the Gacha decides to invite literal godly wrath on me.

“A month isn’t a lot,” I say, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. “But it’s plenty of time to get strong enough for decent advertisement, right? It’s not like you need to win.”

Mary bumps my foot beneath the table with a smile.

Ibaraki looks between us and rolls her eyes. “I shall not sit here while the two of you make calf-eyes at one another.”

“Aww…” Mary smiles sweetly. “Are you lonely?”

Ibaraki freezes. “What?”

“You’re feeling left out.”

“I am not!”

Mary’s smile gets wider.

“Ibaraki,” I cut in before this turns into something, “what about joining Mary’s peerage?”

“Will you?” Mary asks, leaning across the table. “You’re as strong as Arima is, which is a big help!”

“Join what?”

“Mary’s peerage.”

Ibaraki looks at me blankly. So, Mary explains Evil Pieces, and she listens all the way until the end. Then she throws her head back and laughs.

“...I’ll take that as a no,” I say.

“To cast aside my nature and become a devil merely to swell this one’s ranks?” Ibaraki wipes beneath one eye. “Absurd.”

“You’re already my familiar.”

“That is different.”

“How?”

“It simply is.”

…Great explanation.

Ibaraki folds her arms. “I serve Lady Shuten, and now you as well out of necessity. None other may claim such fealty from me.”

“...Well, if you’re not going to join her peerage,” I raise my voice over Ibaraki’s bellowing. “Will you help her as my familiar? She really needs your help. I’d even say that this is impossible without you.”

It’s not, but I’ll say whatever I need to if it means getting her on board with this. I guess she’s pretty weak to praise, because the moment the words leave my mouth, Ibaraki quits going for Mary and looks down at her with a smirk on her face.

“Despite thy constant vexations, it seems thou art truly desperate.”

Mary smirks up at her. “Arima will give you the cookie jar for the entire duration if you agree.”

Ibaraki turns to me with a contemplative look on her face. Wait. Is… she drooling? She quickly wipes her mouth, then returns to smirking down at Mary.

“Those are… acceptable terms. Provided I am not turned into a devil like you, I shall aid you.”

I clap my hands. “Great!”

Ibaraki stretches out her hand.

“What?”

“The jar of infinite chocolate. The entire duration refers to the very moment I agree, till the moment my services are no longer needed.”

I give her an unimpressed look. We both know that’s not what Mary meant… but I’ve no doubt Ibaraki will refuse to help if I point that out. So, I reach into my inventory, ignoring Mary’s gasp, and place the jar in her waiting hand.

“...Since when could you do that?” Mary asks. I shrug, and she quickly shakes her head. “No, that’s not important! So, you and Ibaraki as contracted mages, Leona as my Queen should be perfect!”

I smile. “I’ll call up the guys once I get back from my date.”

“Cool!” Mary’s grinning. “I’ll talk to Leona in the meantime. Maybe I’ll even reincarnate Kyouka, who knows!”

Ibaraki pops another cookie into her mouth. “...Wonderful! These delicacies are at the perfect warmth~!”

“Ibaraki?”

“Hm?”

“You must really love this Shuten person, huh?”

She swallows three cookies at once. “...W-Without question!”

“Really, really love her.”

Mary’s mouth curls upwards.

I point my fork at her. “Don’t.”

“I didn’t say anything… I was just thinking that it’s cute, is all.”

“I AM NOT CUTE! I am a fearsome oni whose very name brings fear to the eyes of many!”

Mary bursts out laughing as Ibaraki shoots to her feet, claws digging into the table.

“Cease thy laughter, devil!”

I lean back in my chair as Mary ducks away from a swipe, still laughing her ass off.

【—〄—】

“I still think you should’ve told me,” she grumbles.

“...Serafall.”

“I’m just saying!”

“Well, you’ve been ‘just saying’ it for the last ten minutes.”

Serafall puffs her cheeks out and turns her head away from me. “Because you hid something really important! Friends don’t hide their secret godhood from each other!”

“Are you one?” I ask with a chuckle. “A secret goddess?”

“Definitely as strong as one!”

“Well, in any case, I’m not a god.”

“Demigodhood, then!”

“I don’t even know if that’s true!”

That gets me a deeply unimpressed look from across the table. Serafall invited me all the way out to Osaka for a nice spicy Chinese meal, which was a treat. Said it’s the least she could do when the entertainment was on me—not that I mind. Those Satan Leviathan connections have gotten us a private room around a circular table sequestered away from the restaurant downstairs.

“Look, say I did tell you. What would you have done?”

“Nothing!”

“Bullshit. You really want the Olympians involved in that shitshow? Wouldn’t that just have complicated your peace talks even more?”

“Ugh!” She slumps across the table. “Don’t get me started. The peace talk was a complete disaster! It got crashed by terrorists! Why do you think our date was delayed a few days?”

“Well, I got to skip school today, so tell the terrorists thank you,” I say with a smile that very quickly dies once I realise what just came out of my mouth. “...Wait, nobody died, right?”

Serafall gives me a look.

“...Shit. I’m sorry.”

“The losses aside from the terrorists themselves were pretty low. But if you want to blame anyone, blame the terrorists that Azazel decided to call the Khaos Brigade.” Serafall pouts at me. “D’you know how many meetings I had to sit through because those terrorists included all sorts of people?! They had wizards from Oz!”

“The Wizard of Oz?”

“Wizards from Oz. It’s a place in the Dimensional Gap.”

I shake my head. “...So you get my point?”

“Okay!” She throws her hands up. “Fine! Maybe keeping it secret was the smart thing to do given how this whole thing’s shaped up! …Especially on the Zephyrdor front.”

“Well, what’s the news?” I ask, sitting forward.

Serafall huffs and looks away again, though at least her pout’s gone. “...Oh, there’s been progress, but it’s not good. The peace talks got attacked by terrorists, right?”

I nod slowly.

“Well, those terrorists also happened to be wielding a questionable power from a not-so questionable source.”

“What do you mean?”

Serafall frowns. “Thanks to important people actually being around when they doped up, we’ve been able to discover that Zephyrdor also doped up on the power of Ophis during your duel.”

“And that is…?” The name’s just barely familiar, but it’s not exactly ringing any bells.

“The Infinite Dragon God who used to reside in the Dimensional Gap. Apparently she’s working with the Old Satan Rejects and a bunch of mages and what have you. The more relevant bit here is where it leaves our investigation. Prior to the peace talks, we couldn’t do much with Diodora despite him being our only lead. He hasn’t actually done anything wrong, you see, besides being Zephyrdor’s friend. But after the talks, we got to skip over all those stuffy nobles getting in our way moaning about ‘propriety!’ and the ‘sanctity of law!’ …Stupid Great King Faction.”

“And they’re…”

“They’re led by House Bael, the most powerful Pillar House in the Underworld and because they’re beneath us Satans, the Baels are considered to be a princely house. A long, long time ago, they rebelled against the Old Satans’ evil descendants and helped install us as the new Satans. The very first Lord Bael—an old guy called Zekram Bael—is still alive and basically runs the Great King Faction, even if his son, the current Lord Bael, is the nominal head. They’ve got almost as much influence as we Satans; not exactly a group that can be ignored.”

“What’s their issue with all this again?” I ask.

“Because Diodora hadn’t actually done anything wrong besides be friends with the then-dead Zephyrdor, we couldn’t do much else beyond asking some questions. Eventually we had to let him go because it’s apparently unbecoming to treat a… ugh, consummate young master like a common criminal. I swear, the Great King Faction’s a goddamn pain in my neck most of the time. I’ve never understood why Sirzechs tries to be so nice to them. At least half those old bastards need a boot all the way up the ass!”

“Then I’m guessing the attack during the peace talks gave you all the justification in the world to bring Diodora in?”

She folds her arms beneath her bust. “Unfortunately, when we moved in to apprehend him… well, he was gone.”

“Gone how? Like, did they kill him?”

“He and his entire peerage were just gone. No corpses or signs of a scuffle, though. It’s the clearest evidence of his guilt that we have at the minute since, y’know, he ran. We’re convinced he’s with the Khaos Brigade and is responsible for both brothers’ deaths. He’s also likely the reason for Zephyrdor acquiring what we now know to be an Ophis Snake. I’ll keep you posted as and when the situation develops but…”

“He’s gone with the wind?” I say with a sigh.

Serafall nods sadly.

…Well, it’s better than nothing I guess. Diodora Astaroth, huh? It’s finally good to tag a face onto the grief. Is it wrong to say I didn’t expect it to be him? He seemed harmless, if a little two-faced. But I guess it was part of his gimmick to stay under the radar.

They say it’s always the ones you don’t expect…

Serafall glances sideways at me. “So, a demigod, huh?”

“Apparently.”

“Do you know whose? It’s pretty obvious, but that’s because I’m me.”

“Fuck if I know.”

She squints across a bowl of mapo tofu. “You seriously have no idea?”

“...Nope.”

“Have you never met your father?”

“I didn’t even know it was my father till you said it.” I shrug. “Could be my mother. I never knew my parents, and I’ve never met any gods.”

Serafall’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really? Even with how strong you are, you’ve not met ‘em once.”

“Not even once,” I repeat. “Not any of them.”

She smiles all of a sudden.

“...What?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s not a ‘nothing’ smile,” I point out with growing trepidation.

“I was just thinking… I could introduce you to ‘em. Plus, we get a possible alliance out of it.”

“I’m good, Serafall. If he wanted to meet me, he’d meet me. I’m doing pretty well on my own, aren’t I?”

“...Don’t tell me you’ve got daddy issues, buster.”

I glare at her. “I do not have daddy issues.”

“Doesn’t sound like it to me!”

“I’ve never even met him!”

“Nor do you want to,” she points out. “For reasons that scream daddy issues, mind you.”

“Is it strange that I like the way my life is now and don’t want literal divine attention?”

Serafall giggles. …Yeah, that ship sailed the moment I rolled Riptide. Drinking Hera’s breastmilk was the equivalent of being pushed off a cliff edge.

She hums to herself for a few seconds, then looks at me again.

“...Well, sorry to say I don’t buy your story. How’d you get Hera’s blessing if you’ve never met any of the Olympians?”

My heart falls straight out of my ass. How the fuck am I meant to answer that?! I drank her breastmilk, but Serafall doesn’t know that. More importantly, Hera doesn’t know that. Presumably, anyway.

…Hopefully.

“Arima?”

In this situation, there’s only one thing I can do, and that’s clam up.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Serafall.”

There is absolutely no way to explain this without either lying through my teeth or telling Satan Leviathan that I drank a bottle of Hera’s breast milk I won from a magical Gacha. So, the third option it is!

Ten uncomfortable seconds pass before Serafall raises her hands in surrender.

“...Alright.” She smiles. “Keep your secrets. I’m looking forward to what you’ve got planned for our date too much to spend my time poking and prodding at you.”

“Alright, let me poke and prod at you, then.”

Her lips slowly curl upwards. “...Oh?”

“Questions,” I say immediately. “I meant questions.”

“Of course you did.”

“I did!”

“Maybe if I like your date enough, I’ll let you poke and prod at me later. Just saying~!”

I shake my head. “...Favourite ice cream.”

Serafall blinks. “What? That’s your question?”

“Yep.”

“You can ask Satan Leviathan anything you want, and you ask her favourite ice cream flavour?”

“I’m trying to get to know Serafall, the girl, not Satan Leviathan, the Foreign Affairs devil.”

“Hey!” She’s blushing. “I did not know you were this smooth…”

I push my empty plate away from myself. “Thanks, but seriously… what’s your favourite ice cream?”

“Hm…”

She puts a finger against her chin.

“Strawberry.”

“...That’s just basic.”

Her mouth drops open. “Excuse me?!”

“Strawberry’s basic.”

“What do you like, then?”

“Chocolate.”

“Huh?! And you called strawberry basic.”

“Pfft. Chocolate’s a classic.”

“So is strawberry!”

“No,” I say, pointing at her. “Strawberry is what you pick when chocolate isn’t there.”

Serafall glares at me in reproach and then explains to me why my opinion is wrong. I relax, bit by bit, as the conversation moves away from the topic of my blessing that I seriously didn’t know about till now. I really don’t need Satan Leviathan investigating where Hera’s blessing came from, not when she can just go and ask.

Luckily for me, we spend the next half an hour debating useless stuff. It’s fucking great. I get to quiz her—and then judge her—on all these little details that bring her down to earth just a little bit more. Her favourite food, or season, or her favourite colour, which is apparently blue. I’d have guessed pink.

I ask whether she actually likes magical girls or if the whole Levi-tan thing started as propaganda and got out of hand. She’s loved magical girls since their inception, which leads into Serafall explaining the plot of Miracle☆Levia-tan to me. Supposedly, the bit where Levi-tan defeats an evil dragon by hitting it with the moon is, according to Serafall, inspired by a true story.

“...Whew!”

Serafall pushes the rest of her empty bowls in front of her, having eaten thrice as much as me with an oily grin on her face.

“That was lovely. This place always does the best comfort food.”

I down the rest of my Pepsi and give her a sideways look. Where the hell does all that food go? She’s tiny!

She stands. “Come on, bucko. All that talk about strawberries has put me in the mood for ice cream!”

“Sure,” I say. “We can grab some on the way.”

“...On the way to what?”

“I’ll tell you once we’ve got some ice cream.”

It’s the middle of summer, so finding a van isn’t at all difficult. Naturally, Serafall gets strawberry, and I get chocolate. We find an unoccupied public bench to sit down on, and right as my butt hits the worn wood, she sticks her spoon into mine without asking and takes a bite.

Her eyes light up. “...It’s alright.”

“Alright?”

“Mine’s better.”

“...Is that so?” I pull my spoon out of the chocolate ice cream and swipe some of hers.

“Hey!”

“Shut up. You’ve got no room to complain.”

She sticks her tongue out at me as I stick the spoon into my mouth.

…Eh. It’s not bad. A little too sweet for my liking, but I can tell that saying anything besides ‘it’s good’ to Serafall is going to start another argument. So I sidestep the entire issue by taking out two tickets.

I hold them in front of her face.

“...Iron Man?” she reads.

“Yep. It’s still airing because of how popular it is.”

“Who’s Iron Man?”

“You don’t know Iron Man? The film with Robert Downey Jr.”

…It’s been out for a few months at this point, right? Sure, he was controversial, but didn’t his rep skyrocket after this film went—and has—gone viral?

“No?” she says.

…My God. Of course she doesn’t. It’s 2008! Iron Man isn’t the opening salvo of a franchise that ate Hollywood for a decade and a half. Not for the first time, it dawns on me that I’m going to watch Iron Man in a cinema. In 2008. With Terrence Howard before the universe mysteriously replaced him with Don Cheadle and expected nobody to question it.

“...This is gonna be fucking awesome.”

Serafall blinks.

“Oh my gosh.” She leans closer, peering at my face. “You’re actually excited. This is adorable. I’ve never seen you this happy before! You’re a fanboy!”

“You know the actor!”

“He’s famous!”

Serafall laughs as I steer her towards the cinema.

“I bet you’ve got posters all over your wall. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; I just didn’t expect you to have ‘em. You seem the dour type, you know? A little Robert Downey Jr. poster above your bed—”

“Mary sleeps in that bed!”

Serafall giggles. “Wouldn’t that just spice things up? I’m sure she turns you into an Iron Man under it every night!”

“Shut up!”

We’re both laughing now. Fuck it. I don’t even care about the teasing. I haven’t been to the cinema since… actually, have I been to the cinema at all since I was reborn? I don’t think I have.

…Well, that’s depressing.

“By the way,” she says. “Are you coming to the Young Devil Gathering? Mary’s invited on account of her excellent performance in the duel, of course. I’m hoping she’s put those evil pieces to good use?”

“...She will. But level with me here, you two really just invited her to get me to meet your up-and-comers, didn’t you?”

Serafall beams at me. “Nuh-uh. We invited the both of you. Mary is a wonderful example for a lot of half-devils to look up to. Changing hearts and minds slowly, and making sure the old generation’s bitterness can’t infect the new one is our goal as Satans. Why do you think I mainline the most popular children’s T.V. show in the Underworld?”

…Fair. It still leaves a sour taste in my mouth, even though I told Mary not to worry about it. I guess she and I are a kind of package deal. Thinking about it that way, at least, makes me feel a bit better.

I pull out my phone to check the time. “We’ve got about twenty minutes.”

“Popcorn?”

“Obviously.”

“Sweet or salty?”

“Half and half?”

“Correct answer.”

“Finally,” I say with exhaustion. “Something we agree on.”

She nudges me with her elbow. “Toughen up, bucko! Arguments are where the zest of life is found!”

We set off a little bit after that. It’s a five-minute walk to the cinema, hence why I picked this specific bench for us to eat our ice cream. Once we’re around the corner, the cinema’s just a straight-on walk down the thoroughfare. There’s absolutely no way for us to miss it… at least, that’s what I think until someone barrels straight into Serafall.

“Ah!”

Serafall barely moves, but the other person bounces off her and goes down. I catch the handle of their suitcase before it topples over with her.

“I’m sorry!”

The girl bows so quickly I barely get a look at her underneath her long brown hair.

“I’m really sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was going! T-This is completely my fault!”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Serafall says.

“I-I’ll be more careful!”

She reaches for the suitcase, straightening up enough that I can see her face. There’s a pretty nasty bruise across her cheek, and her eyes are all raw, like she’s been crying way too much. Serafall sees it too, the sight making her smile disappear.

“...Are you alright?” I ask.

The girl’s hand tightens around the suitcase handle.

“...I’m fine.”

She’s wearing a high school uniform. Which high school, I dunno, but Japanese school uniforms leave the whole suited and booted look to high school. Between that, the bruised face, and the suitcase, I’m not liking the assumptions my brain is cooking up.

Serafall glances at me.

“Did somebody hit you?” she asks.

Her eyes widen. “N-No! I just fell.”

I look at the suitcase.

“Are you going somewhere?” I ask.

“...My boyfriend’s.”

“Now? Isn’t it the middle of the school day?”

“I’m staying with him because my parents are moving—it’s why I left school early.”

Serafall’s expression changes slightly.

“...Hey. We’re not trying to get you in trouble, okay?”

“I-I know.”

“You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to.”

“...I’m fine.”

She clearly isn’t, but she’s also looking between us like she’s trying to figure out the quickest way out of this conversation, so I refrain from pointing that out. I can’t blame her either. We’re two strangers taking a sudden keen interest in her, even if it’s out of worry.

“Alright,” I say.

Serafall glances at me. I give her a tiny shake of my head to tell her not to push the topic.

“Sorry for bumping into you,” the girl says again.

“No harm done.” Serafall smiles, though there’s a lot less energy behind it now. “Just be careful, alright?”

The girl nods furtively, then starts to walk past us.

“Wait. What’s your name?”

She hesitates.

“I’m not being weird or anything,” Serafall says with a giggle. “I’m actually on a date with this handsome lug here. It’s just personal policy to introduce myself to anyone I make eye contact with for longer than five seconds.”

She leans over and hugs my arm for added effect. I don’t mind it. Having my elbow wedged between her boobs is certainly… an experience. Plus it helps the girl relax a little, shooting us a fragile little smile.

“This one here’s called Arima, and I’m… Serafall.”

“S-Sera… what?” the girl asks lamely. “S-Sorry, I only speak Japanese.”

“Sera-fall. It’s a foreign name, that’s for sure. How about you?”

The girl gives another small bow. “I-I’m Yoshida Saki.”

…No way, right?

“Nice to meet you, Saki!” Serafall chirps, thankfully unaware of my internal malfunctioning.

The girl straightens, giving me another good look at her face. It’s like the longer I look at it, the more familiar it becomes to me. The blue eyes… the name. If Energy Kyouka!! Is a genuine part of my reality now, then why not Metamorphosis?

…Oh shit. Metamorphosis is real!