I'm... Gotenks? (DBZ OC-Insert) - Chapter 1 (Patreon)

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There’s a flash of light to herald my returning consciousness and then I feel… Dear fucking god. I don’t even know how to describe it. I feel amazing. Like I’ve just downed ten energy drinks without any of the heart palpitations. There’s this warmth sitting in my chest that I somehow know I can reach for, and the second I actually try, something surges through my entire body.

Ki. I don’t know how I have—or even know I have—Ki. …But that’s Ki!

“Finally!”

There’s a massive palace in front of me, and nothing but blue sky in every direction. Piccolo is standing about ten feet away. Mr Popo is standing a little further behind him with Dende. Krillin’s with Android 18. Yamcha’s laughing at the top of his lungs at the sight of me next to Bulma and Chi-Chi.

…I’m choosing to ignore the fond warmth at the sight of them and move my eyes over to Videl and the Ox-King. My… grandpa? Point is, I know all of them. Obviously I know all of them. I’ve watched these people beat the shit out of each other since I was a kid on TV. But all this feels a bit too real to be a dream. And I also remember Bulma giving me a bath, and Chi-Chi yelling at me for tracking mud through the house.

…What the fuck?

“No fucking way,” I breathe out, wincing at the double-voice thing I’ve got going.

I can feel Chi-Chi’s head snap toward me.

“What did you just say, young man?!”

…Gotenks. I’m fucking Gotenks.

I look back at Piccolo. “Is this the first go?”

“You don’t remember the first two times you turned into a blimp and a skeleton?” His brow furrows.

“No.”

Okay. Fat Gotenks and skinny Gotenks already happened, which makes this the first successful fusion. Majin Buu is still running around. Goku… My eyes flick across the Lookout again. No Goku—right. He showed Goten and Trunks Super Saiyan 3, burned through the rest of his time on Earth and went back to the Other World.

Wait…

“H-How long has it been?”

“How long since what, bud?” Krillin asks.

“Since they fused?”

Bulma hums. “Less than a minute.”

Fusion lasts thirty minutes. Then, Gotenks separates back into Goten and Trunks. That gives me twenty-nine minutes of life, maybe a little more. Maybe I come back when they fuse successfully. Pretty sure Goten and Trunks have no memory of being Gotenks, at least initially, and it’ll stay that way if I’ve got anything to say about it.

…But I really don’t want to die.

I look back at Piccolo. “What happens when the fusion ends?”

“You separate.”

“What happens to me?”

He stares at me and I resist the urge to look away.

“You become Goten and Trunks again,” Piccolo says slowly. “As you always were. What are you talking about?”

“...I’m not Goten or Trunks. I remember being Goten and Trunks. I’ve got both their memories in here. But I’m me, not them.”

Bulma steps forward. “...Huh?”

I open my mouth. “My name is—”

…

“My name is...”

I frown. Last I checked, I had one of those, and lived an entire twenty-odd years till this shit happened. I remember my family and school and watching Dragon Ball… and arguing about Dragon Ball on the internet. But my name—

“Gotenks?” someone says in concern. “That’s what you said the first time, right?”

“...Give me a second.” I squeeze my eyes shut.

Come on.

Goten.

Trunks.

Gotenks.

Those are all there, but mine isn’t.

“Fuck,” I hiss between my teeth.

“Gotenks!” Chi-Chi gasps.

“Sorry!” I look and immediately look away. Part of me sees Chi-Chi, the other part sees… well, my mother. Unfortunately my eyes land on Bulma and the exact same thing happens. “This is so fucking weird.”

She huffs. “Mind your language!”

“...Sorry. I’m having a bit of a crisis here!”

Piccolo steps between us. “Enough.”

Everyone shuts up as he looks down at me.

“Start from the beginning,” he says.

“I don’t know what the beginning is.”

“What do you remember?”

“I don’t know!” I throw my arms out. “I mean, I do know. Ugh!”

Piccolo folds his arms. “...Goku never told us about this part of the technique.”

“Maybe it manifests differently in non-Metamorans?” Dende supplies helpfully.

“Perhaps…” He hums. “And you claim you’re a different person entirely from the combination of Goten and Trunks.”

“Yes—no. It’s… more like I’m Goten and Trunks rolled in one, but I’m also me.”

Bulma tilts her head with a frown. “...Well, how do we know you aren’t Goten and Trunks?”

I rub my face and rattle off some Dragon Ball quick facts from before my… other selves’ time? But that only deepens Bulma’s frown.

“Trunks knows most of that.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem. I’m having some trouble separating it all, you’ll have to give me a second here. Can we please focus on the fact that I’m going to stop existing in about twenty-eight minutes!”

Bulma blinks. “What?”

“The fusion!” I point at myself. “Thirty-minute time limit!”

Piccolo looks unimpressed. “You’re not dying.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re Goten and Trunks.”

“Look, I don’t want to die. When this ends, even if they fuse again, what guarantee do you have that the me of right now doesn’t kick the bucket?!”

My voice cracks across the Lookout, and in the midst of my tirade I don’t notice the spiderwebbing cracks spreading across the tiles at my feet.

“...Shit.”

See, being this strong would be cool if I wasn’t currently wondering whether I’m half an hour away from oblivion.

“Look,” I say. “Maybe there’s a chance this isn’t a one-time thing. But I don’t feel like them. I feel like me. So unless somebody here knows exactly what happens to a third consciousness when a fusion ends… damn it. Look, all I’m saying is I’d rather not gamble on it.”

“...Well, you don’t sound like my Goten,” Chi-Chi says.

Bulma taps her chin. “Or my Trunks either. Piccolo? I think I believe him.”

…What the fuck is this? Fusion is supposed to combine two people, not fucking reincarnate someone. Who fucked the timeline up by jamming me into the identity soup?!

I start pacing. “...What about the dragon balls. Can’t we just wish for me to have my own body?”

Bulma sighs. “They aren’t gonna be active for the next four months, kid.”

“I’m not a kid.” I make a face when I realise that, technically, I am. And that I forgot that Earth’s dragon balls were used to bring back everyone Vegeta killed at the World Martial Arts Tournament.

Fuck.

“...What about New Namek,” I say after a moment.

Piccolo’s expression changes slightly. “The Namekian Dragon Balls?”

“No can do.” Krillin shakes his head. “Even if we knew where it was, Goku’s the only one who can take you there, and he’s back in the Other World.”

“We have a bigger problem,” Piccolo says, looking out over the edge of the Lookout. “Buu is still killing whoever he pleases down there. Now, there’s nothing we can do for you right now. The fact of the matter is that you have half an hour to live. Once he is dealt with, I promise I will help you. Right now, however, you’re the only one capable of defeating him.”

“...I know.”

Goten and Trunks. No, Gotenks lost because he got cocky. I might not be powerful enough in my base form, but Goten and Trunks know how to become Super Saiyans. As much as an emotional headache my combined memories are, right now, my noggin’s chock-full of their years’ worth of martial arts experience, which trumps anything I knew in my past life. …But twenty-something minutes left to live is a notion that sits hollow in my chest.

Piccolo looks directly at me, making my mouth go dry.

“And if there isn’t an after for me?” I ask.

He doesn’t answer, which is answer enough in its own way.

“...R-Right. I guess that’s that, then.”

Bulma slowly brings her hands to her chest, looking a little sad. It’s not just her. In my effort to escape her eyes, I look over all of them. They’re not being cruel about it. With Goku gone, Gohan dead to their knowledge, Vegeta dead… I really am their last hope. There are billions of people down there Majin Buu is terrorising just for the hell of it and Gotenks is supposed to be the person who stops him.

Or, well, cockily rush down and get beaten to hell for it, anyway. My hands are smaller than I’m used to, but ridiculously more powerful. I’d at least be able to do better than those two kids managed, right? And in the worst case, that’s what? One monumental good deed to maybe get me into heaven?

“Okay.” I clench my fists, feeling the power rising through me. The Lookout’s tiles start trembling. “I’m holding you to your promise, Piccolo. You’d better help me deal with whatever the fuck happened to me.”

Chi-Chi inhales sharply.

I point my trembling hand at her. “...P-Please give me this one. One way or another, I’m going to die now.”

“...Fine.” Her face softens. “Please bring him back to me.”

Why hit me in the feels, lady? Sniffling a little—and blaming it entirely on my Goten side—I look back at Piccolo. A grin I can’t really help starts creeping across my face. Maybe that’s the Goten and Trunks in me. I doubt it, though. The gravity of it all has settled, albeit on a compressed timeline. Mostly guaranteed oblivion will do that to a man, but all that’s left is giddiness, I think.

Time to go Super Saiyan!

【—〄—】

A woman screams as Majin Buu brings his hand down, only for me to catch his wrist in time. The deck buckles under my feet as I land. His fist is about the size of my head and then some, but I’m holding it with one hand. Golden Ki rolls off me in waves, whipping my vest and sash around.

The woman behind me doesn’t move, so I turn. “...Maybe run, now?”

She doesn’t need me to tell her twice, and Buu watches her go, then looks down at me.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Gotenks. Nice to meet you.” I grin and drive my forehead into his nose.

Buu’s head snaps back. I let go of his wrist, twist around and bury my heel in the side of his face. The deck explodes as Buu disappears sideways through a wall. That… That felt amazing. I’ve never really understood why Goku gets so excited over people trying to beat him to death. Vegeta let Cell transform because apparently common sense stops working once your hair turns gold. But I get it!

Every bit of me is buzzing at that kick’s after-effects. I can feel Buu’s Ki through the ship. It’s humongous, but I’m not in the least bit scared. For the next twenty-ish minutes, I’ll be stronger than almost everyone who’s ever lived, at least in this universe.

The deck erupts as a pink fist shoots through it. I lean aside, letting it pass by my cheek. Buu bursts through after it and I meet him with my knee. His stomach folds around my leg.

“GUH!”

I grab the stupid antenna-thing on his head with both hands. Buu’s eyes widen in horror as I start swinging him over and over till he turns into this dizzying pink-purple blur. Then, I let go. He rockets across the deck, smashing through the railing without any sign of stopping.

I laugh at the top of my lungs. “BYE, BUU!”

Buu’s still flying but I pass him and catch his body before he stops.

“H-Huh?”

My fist sinks into his stomach. His whole body bends around it, cheeks puffing out. I hammer another punch into his face. His head snaps around with each hit as we fall towards the ocean’s surface. To top it all off, I smash my boots into his stomach, and Buu hits the ocean hard enough to part it. For a second, I can even see the seabed.

At least before tons of water collapses on top of him.

“...I can’t believe this shit.” My hands and legs and all of me are shaking like a leaf in the wind, but I’m not afraid. It’s like I’ve drank one-too-many cups of coffee… I’m hovering over an ocean as a fucking Super Saiyan after drop-kicking Majin Buu through a cruise ship. If I wake up after this, I’m never complaining about anything again!

Something pink rockets out of the water. Buu’s head slams into my barely-raised forearms and I go flying. Sky and ocean swap places about six times before I catch myself. Buu’s fist smashes into my cheek. The other catches me in the stomach, but I twist as his knee comes up so that it clips my hip instead of my ribs. He flinches a little when I grab his leg. Of course, then I yank him forward and punch him in the dick.

“...Nothing?” My fist sinks into the same pink pudginess as everywhere else on his body. To be fair, though, I’m pretty sure Buu Piccolo-ed his kids. 

Stars burst across my vision as Buu headbutts me. Then, he appears underneath me before I’ve blinked the tears out of my eyes and slams a foot into my back. I shoot upwards, watching his stretchy pink limbs twist around and hammer me back down.

“Oh, come on—fuck!”

The ocean rushes towards me. I forcefully stop inches above it. The water caves beneath the pressure, sloshing as Buu comes screaming down. He punches straight through the sea. I reappear behind him with two fingers to my forehead.

It’s completely unnecessary, but I’ve wanted to do this since I was a kid and find myself suffering from a terminal case of Fusion.

“Special Beam Cannon!” The spiralling beam punches through Buu’s back and bursts out of his stomach.

He bends over and looks at me through the hole.

“...Ew. Stop that. I mean it!”

I watch Buu straighten as the hole fills out and he twists his neck around with a grin. The sight of his monstrous regeneration sobers me up immediately. How long has it been since I popped into the world? I wasted several minutes freaking out on the Lookout, then a few more finding Buu. That’s… what, fifteen minutes left?

Buu shoots his stretchy arms towards me. I duck one, slap the other aside and fly straight at him as he unhinges his mouth; there’s some ominous pink light pooling in there. Fuck that. I bring my fist down on the top of his dome and slam my knee into his chin to clamp that jaw shut. The blast detonates inside his head. His cheeks and eyes bulge to comical levels and smoke pours out of his ears.

He coughs. A tiny puff escapes his nose making me chuckle until Buu punches me in the face. …Okay, I deserved that for getting distracted. I skid backwards through the air while Buu chases, then reverse that decision and meet him halfway. Our fists collide and the sky cracks. Not literally I think, but the noise is ridiculous.

Buu’s other fist comes in. I catch it, then he catches mine as we hang in the air, pushing against one another.

I grin. “...I think I’m stronger than you.”

“No, mean boy!” He frowns. “Buu strongest!”

I headbutt him three times to show him just how vehemently I disagree with the notion—also, my hands are currently occupied. His grip eventually loosens. I rip my hand free and slam my palm into his chest.

“BIG BANG ATTACK!”

Blue-white light carries him halfway across the sky before exploding. I throw an arm over my face to shield my eyes as wind tears past me. The ocean below caves into a massive bowl, and when the smoke clears, Buu’s upper body is gone. Pink flesh starts bubbling out of the waist.

I thrust both hands forward. “MASENKO!”

Yellow light eats the legs, leaving nothing behind. I can still feel him around, though.

“Where?” I close my eyes to focus as something moves behind me. I turn. There’s a tiny pink glob stuck to the back of my vest. “Oh, you sneaky little—”

It expands and Buu’s face forms first.

He grins. “Hi!”

“...Shit!” His body engulfs mine. It’s like being buried in warm chewing gum. Buu laughs from everywhere and I feel him squeezing. I scream a very manly scream as Ki explodes out of me. The pink mass balloons, filled with golden light. …Is that his face lining the inside of this shit? Gross!

Buu’s face stretches as I push harder, forming cracks along the pink ball. Gold burns through them as they quickly grow in number.

“GET THE FUCK—”

Buu starts tearing apart from the inside.

“OFF ME!”

Chunks of pink scatter in every direction. I immediately shoot upwards. I can’t give these things the time to regroup. My hands blur as I focus and fire off at every piece of Buu I can sense—which is, to say, all of them.

“DODON RAY!”

A thin beam punches through one.

“DODON RAY!”

I point with both hands, lighting each one of my fingertips with a smile on my face.

“DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DON RAY!”

One for each finger… which, I admit it, is a shit joke, but it fucking works. Ten thin, almost whip-like yellow beams rake across the sky, vaporising every last trace of the fucker. I reach out with my senses just to be sure.

“I swear, you’re like a cockroach…”

My eyes fall onto the wrecked cruise ship, where Buu is no doubt reforming underneath the wreckage. I smash through three decks and find him bubbling back into shape amongst overturned tables and bodies. I punt him through the hull. He shoots over the water as I follow him, catching him by his barely formed head and swinging him into the sky. I’m flowing like never before, barrelling through clouds as I lay down the mother of all beatdowns.

Buu spins away from me but I appear on the other side, spinning him back with a kick to his side. My fist drives up into his chin, sending him even higher. But Buu catches himself, huffing and puffing with real murderous rage on his face.

His eyes narrow. “...BUU KILL YOU!”

“You’re gonna have to get in line, man!”

He screams and charges, only for me to grab his face.

“Pretty sure you copied this one off my dad, huh?” I’m too in it to notice the lapse in self. Is it a lapse in self? That’s not what I’m thinking of as I fire off a point-blank Kamehameha. The beam takes his head off and would’ve enveloped his body in a second if not for his disembodied lower half kicking me away.

His head is already growing back. I punch straight through it. Pink flesh wraps around my arm, but I burn it away with a flare of my ki.

“Well, you know what they say,” I mutter after kicking Buu away. “If you don’t at first succeed…”

Buu’s head is still reforming

“Ka… Me…”

Blue light floods my hands.

“Ha… Me…”

Buu tries to move but I blitz forward and knee him in the stomach. I grab his vest with one hand. He looks at me as I headbutt him one final time, thrusting my hands forward as he staggers.

“HA!”

Buu vanishes inside a wave of blue. The beam drives him across the sky, clearing clouds away as far as I can see. I feel his body coming apart. His face stretches in the light. I don’t stop, though, pouring every bit of power I have into this blast. The beam widens with a howl and the entire sky changes hue. I can feel my Ki plummeting but I don’t really have a tomorrow to worry about.

All that matters right now is atomising any microscopic blobs of pink bullshit waiting to regenerate. And if that means dumping every bit of power I’ve got left while I fall out of the sky, then that’s fine too. The beam finally stutters out as my dead arms fall. I slowly drift through the air towards the ocean thousands of feet below, throwing my fists into the air. 

...There’s canon well and truly fucked! It’s weird. I should be on top of the world, but here I am, floating back down through a clear, cloudless sky.

And then… nothing.

…What the fuck is wrong with my brain? One, this is a genuinely deranged idea. Two, I was supposed to be writing Invincible. I was 400 words into Chapter 19 before this idea fucked me up into writing 3.5k words. Of course, this just means I’ve got to write 2 chapters tomorrow, which is perfectly fine, but goddamn.

Do I have any idea what’s happening with Chapter 2 or when it’ll start? Nope! Maybe this’ll be a one-shot, or like, a very very short story. I don’t have a clue. Maybe I’ll have this be one of Fu’s shenanigans or something.

I don’t have a clue, but enjoy it regardless lmao.

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