Just letting you know I'm ok (Patreon)

I've been sent a lot of messages of condolence and care. Thank you all. It means so much to me in this time of darkness. I miss Aayla terribly. The first couple of days/nights I had some really dark thoughts. I worried a lot of people. My parents were so worried that they got me a puppy in the hopes it would help. It has helped me a great deal. My heart has yet to heal, and never will completely, of course but I'm no longer alone thanks to the new pup. She's giving me reason to smile again.

I'll probably be a crying mess this Wednesday though, that's when Aayla's ashes will come home. I bought a memorial box to put them in. I think this will grant me at least a little solace. 

Every once in a while, I will call the new pup "Aayla" by mistake and choke up a little. Also, my dad has dementia and occasionally forgets that Aayla died and asks me where she's at. I know he can't help it, but it hurts so much to have to say what happened again and again. I'm doing my best to stay strong.

The new puppy I mentioned, I named her Abbey Rose. She's a long hair chihuahua that looks nothing like Aayla for which I am grateful. Aayla can never be replaced. Abbey Rose is Aayla's successor. I think Aayla would want me to be happy and love again and not be alone.

I'll be back to modding the first week of May. After a quick check once I downloaded the update makes me think my mods are clear for the latest patch. I'm not 100% sure but I didn't get any errors when I started the game, so outlook is good.

Oh, and here is a photo of Abbey Rose in the hopes her cute face will make you smile too. :)