A little bit of something #3 (Patreon)

It must be a few years since I last wrote a journal like this, so many things happened, so many changes, so many tears...

Writing this is kind of a therapy for me, maybe is also a cry for help? I don't know.

I decided to work with art a few good years ago. In this long road I learned a lot and met some people that I'll never forget. Some that trusted and supported me when I was nothing but an aspiring artist with no commissions done and almost nothing to show. Some taught me how to work, how to do things. Some taught me that not everyone is nice...

After all these years, I learned and did a lot, I grew as an artist and person. But... you know how it is to feel that you didn't hit the spot yet, even after trying so hard?

I don't blame anyone but myself and my luck, maybe. As a person that fights depression for so long, the type that some days doesn't shower, or eat properly, or thinks about ending everything all the time.

As someone that is used to always expecting help but at the same time was taught by life to always do everything alone, to be and look strong and independent. As someone that never felt at home, always running from places and people that couldn't understand me.

I noticed that all this reflected directly on my work and everything I tried to do. I am constantly trying new things, changing my profiles, names, styles, content, focus... And maybe that's why I am not happy and satisfied with my work, my art, and my life, that's why I am struggling since I started as a freelance artist.

I want to thank everyone that walked with me all this path, that supported my work, and that had patience with my lack of consistence and regularity, sorry for this...

I am trying my best, I should make some changes again to reflect what I expect of myself and my work, I need to find that spot, to feel happy and satisfied, to enjoy what I do more than just doing to survive.

To all fellow artists, keep going, we are all blessed to do what we love, and we all deserve to live in peace doing it.