Interlude 55 (Patreon)

A/N

As I mentioned elsewhere, I was just having trouble writing the other day, so I figured I would just do something a little different to help me get over it. So, this interlude is in third person, something I do every so often to make certain interludes or omakes easier depending on the context.

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The Teleportation Circle lit up in Zekram’s home, and a familiar figure walked out.

Jinn stepped out, throwing her hands up into the air. “I’m here! Hello, Zekram, we haven't seen each other in awhile! Though, we haven't talked much either. It’s nice to properly meet you without it being an official setting.”

Zekram smiled. “Hello to you as well, my dear.” Zekram gave a polite flourish. “Any of Wilhelm’s wonderful ladies are welcome inside my home.”

“Ah, you’re so nice.” She held her hand out and he took it giving a polite kiss on the back, a normal ritual in many noble circles. It symbolized many different courtesies, but mostly it was Zekram recognizing her in both an equal fashion as far as status went and herself as a beautiful woman without any overtures associated with it.

Of course, it was a slight deferral considering her status as a goddess. And Zekram was more than aware of her own feats during the Ragnarok fight in Asgard. Anyone who could fight with Surtr on equal ground, even for a short while, was worth his respect.

The last time they had even exchanged words, well, it must have been back during the Peace Conference.

Jinn didn’t go out of her way to meet with various people outside of her own circle. And likewise, Zekram didn’t go around finding Wilhelm’s people to go speak to. Ironically, both of them were rather introverted when it came to their daily affairs.

“Thank you for coming.” Zekram thanked her. “I found myself in an odd situation that I am unfamiliar with.”

“Oh, it’s alright. It happens all the time, you should see how many times Wilhelm gets into situations that just slaps him across the face because he has no idea what he’s doing.” Jinn wasn’t annoyed at all at running over. “Artoria mentioned that you needed a hand; I had free time, so it’s no problem.”

Zekram smiled lightly, the aged face of his seemingly brightening quite a bit. “His.,..aquaintances, are in the next room.”

“Oh dear. It’s Roman and Neo, right?”

Zekram let out a long sigh.

“They aren’t bad people," Jinn offered. “They’re just a bit…hmm."

“They are thieves!"

"...yeah." Jinn couldn’t argue that.

“I turn around for one moment, and do you know what they did!? I had a set of gold cutlery in the dining room cabinet; it disappeared.” Zekram looked at her.

Jinn coughed awkwardly.

“A painting in my study.”

Jinn looked away.

“My gem-encrusted, silver toilet-paper holder!”

"...Eh?" Jinn did a double take.

Zekram coughed awkwardly this time. “It was a gift, meant for a jest from an old friend. I’ve had it since…when did those humans build their first flying machine again?”

“Look at the bright side.” Jinn held up a finger. “They seem to be good at what they do, right?”

Zekram sighed again because he couldn’t argue with that notion. They did seem to be very good at stealing things, because they’re doing it right under his nose. He can’t say he was intentionally trying to catch them in the act or watch them like a hawk, but things were disappearing right under his nose without him noticing overtly.

That at the very least spoke well in their favor.

“Why don’t I go talk to them? We’re actually from the same homeland; they should listen to me.”

“Oh?” Zekram blinked. “Very well, I will be taking a moment to myself. Along with a bottle of whiskey.”

Jinn rightfully and quickly headed over to the next room as Zekram sat at his desk, nursing an already poured glass.

She left his study, going out to the next room, and the two people were there, standing over a large table with a bunch of maps, schematics, or other things scattered all over it.

Both of them noticed her come in and seemed surprised by her appearance.

“What? Never seen a beautiful blue woman before?” Jinn asked humorously. “And before you ask, yes, it’s all blue all the way down.”

Roman coughed erratically; a cigar in his mouth fell out as he spat out some accidentally inhaled smoke he wasn’t ready for.

Neo, surprised, just slightly laughed at the joke, taking it much better in stride.

“You must be Roman and Neo.” Jinn stated. “I’m Jinn, I’m Wilhelm’s woman, so we can get along well.”

“Another one?” Roman picked up his cigar. “As his father, I’m going to need to have talk with him about moderation.”

Neo gave a big wave.

“So, how are you two holding up? Being dropped into something like this all of the sudden, it must have been difficult to adapt and wrap your brains around, huh? Magic, Devils, Hell," Jinn asked.

“Uh….” Roman looked at Neo and they shared a silent look.

“You don’t have to worry, as I said, I’m Wilhelm’s Woman, I know everything. Besides, I’m from Remnant too.” Jinn dropped that bombshell rather casually.

Both Roman and Neo just stared in bewilderment.

“You’re…from Remnant?” Roman rarely found himself stunned like this. 

Neo quickly pulled out her scroll to write something. ‘Faunus???’

Jinn covered her mouth as she laughed. “I’m not a Faunus, not a human either. We have some magical stuff over on Remnant; it’s just…hidden, I suppose. But there isn’t much left. A formal introduction? I’m Jinn, Spirit of Knowledge. I was created by the Brother Gods. I have the cumulation of Remnant’s entire history and knowledge inside of me. Every century, for anyone who finds my Relic of Knowledge, I can answer Three Questions. Though it can’t be about the future.”

Roman hands his hand up. “One moment, I need to compartmentalize this.”

Neo nodded her head in agreement.

“Take your time.” Jinn said politely.

It did take several moments of silence for Roman to finally speak again. “Brother Gods? They’re real?’

“Yup.”

Roman opened his mouth again but closed it.

‘Magic?’ Neo held up her scroll.

“Also exists. But the Humans and Faunus of the current era can’t use it, bar a handful. Uh, you heard the fairytail about the Maidens right?”

“Of course that’s real.” Roman didn’t need to be told explicitly. “What other fairy tales are real?

“Have you heard the old one about the Wicked Witch and the Hero?”

“That one's even more ridiculous.” Roman pointed out.

“Yeah, but it’s technically true. Salem is still alive, actually; she’s also Wilhelm’s woman. She’s also the Grimm Queen; in that, she can control the Grimm if she wants to.”

“...there’s someone controlling the Grimm?” Roman blinked. “No, I guess that makes sense. Every time—"

Jinn interrupted her. “Actually, she rarely even directly controls them these days. Grimm are actually a creation of the God of Darkness, and they basically do what they were designed to do with or without her input.” 

“....you know, I feel like that makes the world just even more shitty when there isn’t an intentional hand behind the curtain.” Roman frowned. “I guess it doesn’t really change much.”

“It must be a lot, but I’ll happily answer any questions you have.” Jinn smiled warmly. 

“I do have a lot of questions. Even more since being dropped off here.”

“Yeah, Wilhelm usually is more….detailed than this? When he introduces someone to all his nonsense. He’s just a bit preoccupied at the moment, so I’ll fill you in on anything. You more or less know the basics here.”

“Right, Magic is real, other worlds, we’re in literal hell.”

“It’s slightly different than the concept of Hell we have back home, you know," Jinn corrected.

“Sorry, slightly different hell.” Roman snorted. “My first question, and this is just me being thorough…hmm.”

“You want proof?” Jinn hazarded a guess. “You’re the type who doesn’t believe everything unless they have evidence, right?"

Roman bit down on his cigar, just nodding with Neo agreeing as well.

“I said I was the Spirit of Knowledge, I know everything about Remnant. How about I say something no one else would know? For instance, not even Wilhelm knows what your Semblance is, right?” Jinn looked at him.

Roman paused. “You know that?”

“Let me be clear, I know everything from Remnant.” Jinn emphasized.

‘Everything?’ Neo held up her scroll.

Jinn’s eyes sparkled mischievously. “Should I say that I know how you like to donate quite a bit of your ill-gotten gains to various orphanages, Neo?” She looked at the smaller woman.

Neo pursed her lips and rolled her eyes.

“It’s funny considering how much you dislike children or being around children.” Jinn laughed.

“While that’s not exactly common knowledge, it’s also not impossible to know.” Roman stated.

“Your semblance then.” Jinn pointed at him. “Ironic, isn’t it? Someone who barely trusts anyways, but their semblance relies on trust.”

“Alright, alright. You made your point.” Roman sighed, waving his hand. 

“Also…” Jinn’s lips curled up. “Should I talk about your search history~?”

Roman and Neo went still.

“There are some things of a man’s you shouldn’t touch!” Roman declared. “Ahem, beautiful Spirit, you proved your point.”

Neo looked at him. ‘I want to know now.’

“Neo, let’s not dwell on the small things. We have a heist to plan.” Roman very quickly tried to change the topic.

Jinn decided to take pity on him. “So, Zekram made a teleportation circle to the location for you to scout, right?” She more or less knew what was going on after being brief before. “You checked it out already?”

The two thieves shared a look.

“Yup.” Roman said casually while Neo just nodded.

“That’s good. From what I understand, ironically, the best method to get inside is normal humans without using any magic.” She clapped her hands. “Since the goal is to sneak in without any evidence we’ve been there, it’s going to be tricky. Almost all our normal methods aren’t really applicable anymore.”

Roman lit another cigar, biting down on it. “Mhmm.”

“Since you already have a good idea about the location, I figured I would give my own thoughts to see if they help at all.” Jinn sat down. “Feel free to correct me on anything I may be wrong about.”

“Aren’t you ‘all knowing’?” Roman asked.

“I know things, I’m not an expert in things.” Jinn laughed. “I know every joke ever spoken from Remnant, that doesn’t mean I can be a stand-up comedian. As far as life experience goes….I don’t really have much.” 

She grabbed several of the papers thrown about, tapping at one. “The location is an old underground bunker from an old war. It’s four layers deep, so counting the surface level, that’s five floors in total.”

“Right.” Roman and Neo nodded.

“We estimate that there should be around four hundred people within the facility at any given time.”

“That’s a lot.” Roman agreed.

“We have an idea.” Jinn clapped her hands. “The first floor is pretty basic, mundane even. The idea is that we cause a problem with the plumbing and flood the floor with some broken pipes. The kind of thing that requires specialized help.”

Jinn grabbed a pen, circling various points of the blueprints. “From what we gathered, here, here, and here.” She pointed at the marked spots. “If we break those pipes, it’ll flood enough downwards that they’ll be forced to find outside help to fix it. Probably regular plumbers, as silly as that sounds. It’s not like any of the Exorcists or Magicians there will know how to fix a plumbing issue of this scale.”

“A classic," Roman hummed.

“So, our plan is to intercept any calls they make. We have you both pretend to be the plumbers, or if we need more people, we can fill in the spots. If the mess reaches the lower layers, they’ll most likely have to hypnotize you after it’s done to make sure you don’t remember. But don’t worry, we’ll have protections in place for that; you just need to play along when the time comes. Of course, during the ‘repairs’ that’s when you’ll have time to scout the insides and find the object we’re looking for.”

“Of course.” Roman continued to nod along, as did Neo.

“That’s the general outline. We’ll fill in the details more after discussion. Now, equipment. From some of our guesses, we deduced the layers of security they most likely have. We’re creating some specialized magical devices that will help you navigate their magical security.”

“Oh, how neat.” 

“We’ll have equipment for obscuring you from magical surveillance. Devices for cracking open magically reinforced doors. And other emergency devices for anything we can think of," Jinn explained.

“It’s good to be prepared.” Roman said evenly.

“I’m glad you think so.” Jinn smiled brightly. “If you’re okay with that plan, we’ll get started on expanding on it. I’ll go talk with Zekram so we can figure out the magical side of things while you both consider your own roles.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.” Roman nodded.

“Great!” Jinn clapped. “I’ll go talk to him right now, thanks!” Jinn got up from her seat and quickly ran out the door.

Roman and Neo shared a look.

Neo made some gestures, and Roman nodded as if he understood her.

“What? No, it would have been a great plan; I wasn’t lying.”

Neo rolled her eyes and gestured a few more times.

“What? It’s a classic for a reason. You can’t diss a classic, Neo.” Roman tapped his cigar against an ash tray. “And be nice; she’s the kid’s girl.”

Neo rolled her eyes again, though this time in a more exaggerated and clearly humorous way. She gestured a few more times.

“When are we going to tell them?” Roman hummed. “Eh, let’s wait a bit longer. I’m kind of curious to see what they cook up. It’s fun to see amateurs try to do the job, don’t you think?"

Neo silently chuckled and made a few more gestures.

“Okay, I admit it. It’s also fun to mess with that old man.” Roman snorted. “Can’t wait to see his face when we tell him that we already stole the thing he wanted when we ‘scouted’ out the area.”

She mouthed a few words and moved her hands around.

Roman let out a sigh. “No, I just don’t want to get sent back home so soon. Neo, I feel like I’ve been in a slump. How many times have we played the same games? We tweak Ol' Ironwood’s nose, he chases us, we escape, and we make some Lien. Rinse and repeat.”

Neo made the universal gesture for money.

“Of course I like the money. But Neo, for once in my life, I’m going to say this. It isn’t about the money.”

Neo made a mocking, aghast face. 

“When was the last time we really tried on a heist, huh? It’s been years, hasn’t it? Back when we were younger, we had to pull out all the stops; we were careful, and we walked that razor’s edge. The feeling of getting that big score after barely getting away without being caught.”

Neo’s expression changed as she looked thoughtful, if not nostalgic, at his words.

“Neo, we have a whole new world opening up for us here.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “No pun intended. But look at this, Magic? Magic, Neo. Neo, we’re the best thieves on Remnant, but we haven't been tested against this.”

Neo’s eyes lit up.

“It’s time to take things to the next level. We can make money hand over fist if we wanted to before, but why didn’t we? The chase, the execution, the schemes—they got boring! Here, we have a chance to go even further! What do you say, Neo? Want to make our names known here too?”

He held his hand out, and of course, his partner grabbed with enthusiasm.

She made a few gestures that he understood.

“Devils? Magic? Whatever else is here. Neo, we’ll take it all on.” Roman declared. “You and me, the best thieves in the world.”

Neo excitedly started waving her hands around.

“Our first target?” Roman rubbed his chin. “Alright, one of their leaders likes to run around dressed up like some kind of anime girl. What better way to make our names known, right?”

Neo laughed and gestured a few more times again.

“Why does she run around dressed like that? Brothers, if I know, probably some kind of midlife crisis. But it doesn’t matter; this is about making a name for ourselves first. How about we steal that wand she waves around all the time?”

@***@

A/N

Roman and Neo are becoming menaces for everyone.