Editing, or A Long, Drawn-Out Affair Between Me and My Own Mistakes (Patreon)

Ever wonder why editing takes me so long?

Well.
Firstly, and this is key, I am, at heart, an absolute menace. I record like someone in a fugue state, often with six different ideas battling for control of one sentence. Which means what I end up with is… not usable, but promising. Like a cursed artefact. You wouldn’t throw it away, but you’d definitely cleanse it with salt.

Then there are the stages. Oh, the stages.

Stage One: The Cleansing

This is where I go through the raw file and remove the truly awful bits — misread lines, vocal explosions, rogue mic bumps, dramatic sighs I forgot to edit out at the time.
I also spend far too long fixing the timing. Everything’s off. Always. It’s like my dialogue was recorded on two different days, by two slightly confused versions of me.

Add to that:

• Multiple takes of the same line (none of which I like)

• Me arguing with myself about delivery

• Unpleasant discoveries, like my breath suddenly becoming sentient and attacking the waveform

And we’re still only on step one.

So yes, editing takes a while.
This post? It’s just a little taste of me, deep in that first stage.
Full of doubt. Full of tea. Full of suffering.

🐸 MUPPET SPEAK TRANSLATION:

Why editing take so long?

Step One:
Me listen to bad takes.
Me cut out wrong words, weird noises, deep sighs of regret.
Me cry a little.

Also:

• Me say same line 5 times. None good.

• Me smash words together like goblin pancake.

• Timing? Wrong. Always wrong.

• Voice go “ha HA” when not supposed to.

This just step one. There more. So much more.

Me tired. Me full of snacks and shame.
But me edit.
Because me muppet. 🐸✂️