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An Autism Research Request... (Patreon)

Published:
2023-01-02 02:02:25
Edited:
2023-07-18 08:57:38
Imported:
2026-06

Content

I have an unusual request, my loves, but you all seem the best people to come to directly, especially given your help with the trans series, and I figure I can use any info gathered for future audios anyways. 

I'm currently writing a book under my own name to submit to my agent, so it's not related to Dizzy Daisy at all. But to keep it broad, it would make a lot of sense for the main character to canonically have autism. 

I was wondering if I might ask any of you, if you have autism yourself or know someone who does, what I should absolutely avoid at all costs so as not to be a dick and perpetrate stereotypes, but also anything you would want touched on for a female character with autism. 

Important to note that it's only in the first draft stages so I would insist on official sensitivity reads once it's actually done, and also she is not just 'the autistic character'. It's mentioned briefly at the beginning to explain her general behavior, such as light and sound sensitivity, social struggles, hyper fixation and emotional irregulation which led to meltdowns as a child and less often now as an adult, which come across to others as anger problems rather than overstimulation. Apart from that, her having autism will not be integral to the plot in anyway, it's just a  character note. 

I'm also not making her autistic to 'make her interesting', it just hit me this morning that with her behavior it would make organic sense for her character for her to be autistic but I want to do it right. 

I'd love to have a conversation with you in the comments, or please feel free to direct message me if you would like to share something but want to do it privately.

I hope you've had a wonderful start to the new year and January's poll will be up soon!!

DD x

Comments

LilLassie

I am autistic as are 2-3 of my kids. 1 quite severe. We don’t struggle as much with emotional regulation as we do with executive functions, social situations, and the void between hyperfixation and anything else that we “should” be doing or learning or thinking.

Natasha O'Brien

I’d say try to avoid having any other characters treat the character with autism like a child. It’s something I deal with daily at home and in public when someone finds out I’m autistic.

Abi Colleen

Hello! I’m a 23 year old autistic female, and am so excited to hear you’re writing a book with that representation! As far as what to keep in mind, I personally have had a lot of issues with people saying “you don’t look or act autistic”. Females with autism tend to learn masking very early, and employ it often in social settings. So it does surprise others when I tell them, but there’s the testing and years of talking to doctors confirming it. It’s a HUGE spectrum, and meltdowns come in just as big of a variety. Mutism is a marker for me. It hurts when someone expects a meltdown to be violent- people always walked on eggshells around my brother and treated him like glass for his size. He’s autistic and also 6”4, 200lbs. They expected him to have violent meltdowns, when really he crawled up in a ball and cried, and was mute otherwise.

Ammmmmmm

AFAB AuDHD here. Avoid functioning labels if you’re going to touch on support needs at any point. Those of us who are high-masking tend to still struggle in other areas, so please don’t mention “severity” of autism as it’s a spectrum not a scale. We tend to be hyper empathetic rather than lacking empathy entirely also. Other than that, one of my biggest pet peeves is the savant trope. Some of us former gifted kids have absolutely no talent in anything lmao.

Sugar Crash

Don’t infantilize the character is definitely a big one. But autism presents itself in so many different ways, so really as long as you treat her like her own person instead of a little kid who’s just ‘too dumb’ to recognize social cues, you should be good.

Fleur Pouvior

One thing I do, is I'm sort of aware something is said as a joke, but I always react 'wrong'. Instead of laughing, I explain how the joke is actually correct, or could work. E.g. someone makes a wolf joke, and I go into wolf history and recent understanding of pack dynamics. Not because I'm offended, just because I find wolf history and cultural missunderstanding of wolf behavior interesting and like to share things I find fun or interesting. Something else I've heard mentioned, is nuro typical people who hear about something bad, say something like, 'oh wow, that's terrible' while nuro divergent try and connect by sharing their own bad experiences. I know I do that, because I'm trying to empathise, and let the person know they're not alone. But it can come off as trying to one up pain. But I find 'that's terrible' to feel shallow.

Beth

Hi I have autism, I'm 22 and I only got diagnosed 2 years ago, so if it help to know, it's not as see easily or quickly in women as it is in men, also I'm sorry if that made no scene, I have slight dyslexia

PuppyCowgrl

Its difficult for me i think to say something that i think should, or should not be in the book, or a part of the character, without more information. I think i'd be able to help more if i had something to read, even if it was just a few sentences. I dont want to stiffle your creativity but i'd also like to help by providing additional input if you'd like still, just maybe further on down the line. I actually have my assessment results appointment for autism and adhd almost exactly 36 hours from now lol.

orangesnowfox

Hi, 21 y/o woman with ASD, my 2¢ is mostly just seconding all the other comments, they're all great. One of my bigger fears... Well, both a person with autism and as a trans woman is being seen as wrong or weird for all the quirks I have. (Ticks in this case being stimming, random infodumping, having to put in effort to understand social stuff, and so on). I know that's like, stuff that's already been mentioned / commented on though. Another note with like, sensory overload reactions is that mine in particular seem to be a moving target, but it's quite slow and also kinda just variable. Throughout a year, I may or may not completely shut down, I may or may not feel like crying (sometimes physically crying doesn't work but I'm not sure that's related), I may or may not like, curl up into a ball, regardless of crying, I may or may not go mute, and so on.

Fleur Pouvior

Does anyone else have that feeling where they're in the middle of having the best time ever, and then it just, shuts off? Like one second I'm all loools whoohoo! And the next it's all just instantly gone and theres no emotion? All I can equate it to is that moment in shows where everyone's celebrating and then bad news is delivered. Like, everyone else is in that fun moment, and I'm just looking around from inside a bubble of nothing and just need to find a way to leave, or pretend I'm still OK so I don't drag everyone else down

huggybear 626

There is a correlation between people who are neurodivergent and queerness. Some explanation for this, based on recent study, is that the relationships to context changes with masking and gendered socializations become attached to 'the mask'. Also, the practice of masking has a correlation with anxiety due to a heightened state of awareness while masking. Fem presenting people with autism are generally diagnosed later due to how socialization and masking goes which may lead to a general anxiety disorder. This being an experience for many fem people for an extended point of their life also develop related (physical) health issues. Another good note is that certain traits can vary wildly, i.e. struggles with eye contact vs extreme eye contact vs specific trait not present. A personal experience I have that is linked to my own diagnosis is questions that need to be clear. To elaborate this would be responding to a question with questions about the question.

T

Hey Daisy and other humans, I am Non-binary, assigned female at birth, BIPOC, and self diagnosed ASD 28. (Sorry this is long...) Not sure if your character has intersecting possibly marginalized identities, but thought I would share layer of BIPOC with ASD. I agree AFAB individuals are often diagnosed later in life. Most of my peers who have received a diagnosis later were white or white presenting. My only friend who is BIPOC and AFAB that was diagnosed early had physical symptoms of having a hard time with motor coordination as well as troubles with verbal communication initially. Some people with ASD show symptoms of hypervigalance which is associated with being unsure of interpreting meaning, navigating social interactions, as well as identifying if others around us are safe. This is the case for me and it shows up in how I don't often feel comfortable sharing more than surface level personal information. I brought this up as it can be a missed layer of intersecting identities. A lot of current representation for AFAB individuals with ASD is for people who are White. If you are on Tik Tok some people who are BIPOC and have ASD I out below (not actively endorsing anyone just sharing info) * = ones that I have watched more of their content and they offer specific tangible info while sharing their experience * @ndwellness @autistic.beauty96 @audens_life @jonteugbeye @dreadfulrebel4x * @plomcake @veeayedubz @deconstructing.neuro @likelysalty * @autisticallykofi @chamaymood @odessa_ocean @vivalachris * @neurodominos @heylookasquirrel95 Books that talk about being AFAB with ASD. relatively older with old terms - Everyday Aspergers by Samantha craft (she made a list of traits that have been used by a lot of people) Much more recent, accounts of multiple different people - Sincerely your autistic child: what people on the autism spectrum with their parents know about growing up, acceptance, and identity by: Autism Women's Network

Nico

Hey daisy, my mom was diagnosed with (asd) when I was 8, because she couldn’t seem to understand the way I was thinking, and how she didn’t knew how to manage my feelings, that was the main reason, she does some things that I’ve been noticing through the years, and is that she loves the routine, she’s been eating the same breakfast for 5 years, and doesn’t like to travel, she has “favorite words” that she repites every time, she says is just because it makes her feel comfortable, but the big thing is that she doesn’t understand body language and how you are feeling, so she can make you really uncomfortable some times, so I had to learn to be more expressive and tell her how I feel about her actions.

skylar williams

I am sure this has already been said but I'll just add say it anyway... it is broad, but sensory issues overall... I wear my socks inside out because I don't like the feel of the seam... I can't eat beans (like in chili) because of the texture... I just can't get over it... oh or how all of a sudden you just need to RIP an article of clothing off because it was building up that it was bothering you but something just snaps and you can't take it anymore.

Kimberly G

The only thing I face is people being dismissive of it. Because no one diagnosed me when I was younger and I'm good at masking, no one really accepts when I tell them. Like I'm not autistic enough for them.

Alexius Meireshsaj

I don’t know if anyone else has this but, occasionally, I do this thing with my body where it kinda… spasms? Glitches? Wigs out? Idk but I kinda do like a quick and small shake and then go back to normal. It’s weird and I haven’t heard anyone else talk about this.