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Amy's Good Email (Patreon)

Published:
2017-03-13 16:37:33
Imported:
2026-06

Content

In this week's episode, Amy is freaking out about stuff, but she is great at writing emails. Let's all take a minute to admire:

Dear Hank and John, 

I have been doing very well at school lately, but to achieve these good grades I feel very fake and almost as if I don't deserve them and I'm stealing somebody else's work. It's like I take my knowledge from some obscure source and then make it sound smarter and then there's my grade. Does this happen to you two when you upload things online and answer questions? Am I just being weird? (I have never done this before so please excuse me if I say something unusual, thanks! Also: Is it rude to email? Is twitter a better form of communication?Am I freaking out?!) 

Best wishes!

Amy

Comments

Claudia Schaffner

So young to already have impostor syndrome. Forgive me Amy if this has been covered by John and Hank, but I haven't had a chance to listen to the pod yet. If you haven't already google "impostor syndrome". You will find a very familiar description staring back at you. And now the good news and the bad news and the good news: - The good news: This happens to So Many People. Especially girls. Especially smart girls. What you feel isn't some aberration or bizarre flaw of your own. This feeling is stupendously common. I know a lot of high achieving people, and very nearly every single one of them I'm close enough to for them to confide in me have expressed that they too have these same thoughts, despite track records that any normal person would recognise as very successful. - The bad news: It's quite possible that some version of this feeling will follow you for much of your adult life, potentially all of it, especially if you work in some challenging or interesting field. I'm a molecular biologist, working at quite a decent university with over a decade of work experience, and I STILL sometimes worry that I'm going to get found out for the fraud I am and people will realise I'm not nearly as smart or knowledgeable as I present. -The good news: Impostor syndrome is a problem, but it is a problem you CAN learn to handle and an irrational feeling you CAN learn to dominate, instead of having it dominate you. For me it took years of feeling it, and a mental health crisis and some incredibly beneficial therapy to learn that this was even a thing. You're getting in way before I did. It may take time, but eventually you can train yourself for self-kindness. You would never sneer at a friend, assuming her grades to be unearned, and every achievement to be the result of some trickery, would you? Then why be so cruel to yourself, especially when you now know that the little demon of self doubt that questions your every good grade, ridicules every compliment you get for being smart, or being good at schoolwork, sits inside all of us? The little demon is lying to you, the way it lies to us all, don't let it win :-)

Heather Brooks

^This. What Claudia said. I too have the same issue. I graduated as valedictorian, got a degree in Chemical Engineering, and am now a Validation Engineer. Most of the people I work with are 1) male and/or 2) older. That is becoming less the case recently, but for the first few years I was the only female engineer here (there are 2 others now) and I had to fight that imposter syndrome on a daily basis. It does get easier, but it hasn't gone away. Keep up the good fight Amy.

SciJoy

^ Ditto. I went to a college that was 85% male and have worked aerospace jobs where I was the only female. I always felt like I was going to be found out. I also always feel like I'm bothering people or I am a burden. You are valuable and what you have to offer is valuable. As for taking other people's knowledge, I think this is one of the absolutely most amazing things about people. We could never have made it to the moon or created vaccines if we weren't always "stealing" knowledge from other people. It would suck if everyone had to relearn everything on their own. Our species is an awesome collective knowledge machine. Newton said it best, we all stand on the shoulders of giants.

Kathy Trithardt

I had the highest grades upon graduating from my college (of all 5 campuses), and often feel imposter syndrome.

Dakinishir

Hi Amy - what they ^^^ all said - imposter syndrome is a thing with which lots of us struggle. AND I totally get this school work thing feeling like a fraud. Pretty much every paper I ever wrote felt like me stealing other people's work, even though I was meticulous about not plagiarizing. Like John said, about not having original ideas. When you are writing papers in school you are mostly SUPPOSED to be representing the ideas of others about which you are learning. It does feel fake. Sometimes you can synthesize in a creative or original to you way, but even then, if you do enough research, you are likely to find that kind of synthesis has already been done. School. That's how it works. Keep going! And try to find creative outlets. They help.

Amy White

Congrates on the name, Its better than Ryan.

Amy Wan

Oh wow... thanks for all of this advice! I'm so thankful of being able to access such a diverse community full of such accomplished individuals! I'm not sure how to thank everyone who took their time to write such a detailed and heart-warming comment to a stranger- but... thanks? (I'm really not good at this...though you've probably noticed) I've never heard of the Impostor Syndrome before and I'm forever grateful that it has been brought up. All of the comments have been helpful to me as well as my self-esteem and I really can't thank you all enough! Once again: Thank you all for your kind and considerate words! (And I realize that this comment is almost entirely just me being an idiot) (Yes, I quite agree that "Amy" is a much better name than "Ryan" :D)