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CO-VIDs: the semiotics of "cuck" (early access) (Patreon)

Published:
2020-08-31 03:29:10
Edited:
2020-08-31 03:29:35
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Hey team! Sorry I've been quiet this month. This video is longer and weirder than any previous CO-VIDs, and the subject matter required many drafts to get right (not to mention many attempts to talk myself out of writing it). I'm pretty happy with it, but... I really wonder what the internet is gonna make of this one.

Currently the song I used for the outro is tripping YouTube's copyright system so I can't monetize. I'm debating whether to change the song or not; given the subject matter, I kinda suspect this would get put on "limited ads" anyway, which really means "no ads." But, since I'm supposed to be donating to Critical Resistance, I should at least try to monetize it, right? Ugh, but I really like the way the song works at the end... decisions, decisions.

Anyway! One way or another this should go public tomorrow. Cheers!

-I

Files

CO-VIDs: the semiotics of "cuck"

100% of ad proceeds for CO-VIDs will be donated to Critical Resistance, a police and prison abolition group co-founded by Angela Davis. YouTube's CPM is pretty small, so I encourage you to donate directly, if you're able: https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/criticalresistance

Comments

Berettadin

Anticipating at maximum. Cuck is a such a _nakedly_ rancid term and yet nobody goddamn blinks!

Matt Cramp

I wonder if the section at 6:35 would be strengthened by saying that you don't value their opinion, rather than saying you don't care. Like you point out, saying you 'don't care' undermines your position somewhat. I'm sure you have a line like this in a draft, or maybe you prefer it the way it is (or don't want to fiddle with the video any more).

Sarah

There's a typo at 10:44 (*is wife). I apologize for saying this.

Vincent Aaskov

‘The video is not available in your contry’ Damn :(

Vincent Aaskov

Denmark - I’m on my phone, I cam debug and try on my computer too

Colin Ferguson

I really like this. It reads a little like your ARPB series, but it also goes into a lot of personal experience and reflection that you (as you have pointed out) normally limit in your videos. I think in this case, that personal experience also helps make the analysis resonate more clearly, though that may just be my own experience as a progressive man on the internet who's been in a stable polycule for nearly a decade making that similarity more salient in this context.

Richard Jackson

It'd be a shame to lose that song as the outro, for sure. I remember seeing a lot of this with Jim Sterling, the kind of gleeful 'Can you believe that this guy we hate is a literal cuck? This validates our opinions if it takes a literal cuckold to disagree with them.' Something you didn't touch on much, which may not have been necessary (I don't think you need to add it to the vid) but might be significant, is that a lot of what they project onto you is their fear of how they would be in a polyamorous relationship: incapable of attracting, let alone handling, more than one woman at one time and therefore doing nothing more than waiting around for their partner to be done with her partners. That's the only way they can imagine polyamory working out for themselves and that anxiety drives them to project it onto you. Anyway, great vid; you sound like you're having some fun.

Aaron Roberto

At 13:46 you mentioned people who keyword search on Twitter to pick fights - I once got targeted this way when I said that I believed Rebecca Vitsmun's allegations against David Silverman. It was at least a couple of months between my tweet and anyone saying anything - which means these guys made a point of looking for people with my point of view so they could pick a fight. Kinda sad but I'm glad my assessment was right.

Anarch Ion

Exceptional analysis as always.

JamesBergCanada

Thanks Ian, was definitely not a term I was going to waste time searching, so as always, I appreciate your deep and concise insight :)

Nikki

Polyamory crowd!! Man. I smiled so much during this. ☺️

The Mad Jay Woman

This is such serendipitous timing with the Falwell Jr scandal becoming public this week, and raising that Politico article from the Kinsey researcher who found Republicans fantasize more about cuckoldry scenarios. The right really loves projecting all their insecurities and other bullshit... Anywhoodles, glad to here you are also poly - thank you for speaking so eloquently on the matter.

Ryan Aston

This is great Ian!! You don't need me to tell you this!! Going to say it anyway!! It's great!!

Chris Myers

I love this approach of not giving air to the accusers and their arguments specifically but instead deconstructing the reason they ended up there.

Julie Sloane

They sound pretty tortured and extremely ignorant of the diversity of choice. I honestly don't understand why your (or anyone's) private life choices are a threat to their life choices. Isn't real freedom getting to decide what you want out of life and surrounding yourself with others who want the same things? Why can't they just move along? Your choices don't make theirs wrong. If I like broccoli and you hate it, just more for me. It seems weird that they don't realize that you aren't offended or threatened by their choice. As you so eloquently said, "It's none of their business."

KSCHatch

You sir. *applauds* Within the first two minutes I had so much more context and understanding of the obsession with this term than I'd had before. It was like a huge: OOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!! moment for me. And also, I legit bring you to mind as proof that not all hope is lost when I'm dealing with some white dude-bro type who is entirely invested in his ignorance at all costs. BLESS YOU.

Jacque Marshall

So...I'm guessing there's backstory where Nick Offerman is concerned that's non-obvious to the outer reaches of the Ian Danskin-verse...?