PW Chapter 288: Decisions (Patreon)

For several days, Astrid simply enjoyed the time she had to spend with her father. They frequently spoke about Brighid, about everything she had done for them, and how they continued to miss her presence in little moments. They also talked about how stubborn she had been, her reluctance to see anything even remotely good in Muti, and her unwillingness to see from other people’s points of view.

They also just spent quiet afternoons together, sitting near each other while doing and saying little or nothing. Astrid, now that she had an opportunity to, got to know little Michael. At first, he was scared around her, but as he came to know her better, he grew less shy by the day. Eventually, he was begging to have her put him on her shoulders, play bears (which was when she had to stay on all fours while he could walk on his legs and they searched the house for snacks), and take him on a walk through the town.

Fortunately, he only started wanting her to take him out of the house after the Duchess had an opportunity to visit the town. The very next day after Astrid and Muti arrived in Stahlstadt, the Duchess appeared with the Golden Fist in tow, along with all of the surviving soldiers who had been based out of the town. Even though she found it difficult to, Astrid forced herself to go and listen to the full address as Ruth gave it.

It was basically exactly what she had expected. A mostly honest retelling of the battle, though Ruth didn’t detail everybody who had been negatively impacted by the assault and instead focused on the heroism of the sacrifices made by her soldiers. She spoke of the self-sacrifice of the many soldiers who had accompanied the charge, promised greater prosperity moving forward, and warned everybody that a majority of the soldiers who had gone to the fight would not be returning alive. Everybody who had family who had gone to the battle was invited to a meal with the Duchess, whether their family member still lived or had died.

“It was a failure, my own failure, that led to this happening in the first place,” Ruth finished. “My weakness, my pride, and my lack of preparation are responsible for these deaths. However, I can swear that, for as long as I live, there will be no more nobles capable of rising up against me and starting this same issue again. I swear that I will maintain freedom and safety under my rule, and never again will you all have to worry about somebody taking your family prisoner to coerce you into contracts.”

Honestly, Astrid didn’t feel that it was a particularly impressive speech. However, she could feel the influence of the Duchess’s Skills leading her to approve of the message. Everybody else nearby didn’t have nearly the same attributes that Astrid herself did, so wild applause went up in the crowd as they listened to her declarations. Astrid simply continued to look at Ruth, who bowed her head ever so slightly when her eyes met Astrid’s.

Savraba hadn’t felt the need to attend the lunch that the Duchess was offering, so Astrid stayed back as well. Instead, they enjoyed a conversation with Ahna and Jan while figuring out where Savraba would live in the long term.

“I won’t do it,” he said to Ahna for the fifth time. “I sold you this home. It’s yours. It is no longer mine, and I’m not going to live with you. I appreciate the offer, but please, listen when I say I’m not going to take it. Once everybody starts to return to their homes, then there will be plenty of options available to me to purchase a different home for myself.”

Ahna complained, but once Savraba’s decision was made, she couldn’t dissuade him.

When not spending time with others, the father-daughter pair continued enjoying the time they had together, and after three days, Muti made her escape. She had completely melted over baby Brighid, taking her whenever Ahna would allow it. She also enjoyed time with Michael, but there was something about the obvious hunger with which Muti looked at the newborn that made Astrid laugh. Surely Felix wouldn’t be able to keep her from getting pregnant for too much longer.

Once she’d finally made the decision to leave, Muti’s goodbyes had been very quick. They were extended by the Barbarian’s standards, but were still over and do ne with within five minutes. Then, she disappeared in a puff of shadow and was gone.

“You don’t want to go with her?” her father asked that night as they had a quiet dinner together.

“I’m going to leave in the next couple of days,” Astrid shrugged. “At the very least, I need to get to the capital so that the party can officially disband. Then, I’m thinking I might come back here.”

“And if you come back, what are you going to do, my light?” Savraba asked, maintaining firm eye contact.

“I’ll spend time with you and Ahna, take care of the kids when she needs it. Maybe train some of the guards, though it'll be a bit hard to adjust myself to their standards.”

“I have every confidence that you have enough money stockpiled to be able to do that,” he answered her, “but let’s not try to lie to ourselves. You would lose your mind living like that for longer than a week. I can already see you getting twitchy.”

“I’m not twitchy,” Astrid giggled as she leaned her head on top of her father’s. “I could find something to do if I was living here. Maybe I could take mother’s old job. Duchess knows I’m qualified.”

“You could, but eventually, you’d be itching to be getting back into the Dungeon. There is no reason to attempt to deceive. That’s not a problem, but if you want to be in the Dungeon, I think you should be out in the Dungeon. If you want to retire, then retire. But it hasn’t been nearly long enough for you to even entertain that thought, and even if it had been a while, I think that you wouldn’t be able to fully retire anyways. So, why are you avoiding leaving?”

“I can’t just leave you here,” she answered. “Mother just died. You don’t deserve to be alone.”

“Nobody I know of ‘deserves’ to be alone,” he replied. “And, if we’re talking about people who don’t deserve to be alone, I can think of a certain beautiful woman who, to my knowledge, hasn’t given anybody much of a chance, even somebody who’s been pining after her for at least a year, by my estimation.”

“He hasn’t been pining over me for a year,” Astrid groused, scowling.

“I can tell that there are unresolved feelings there, and they were, at the very least, brewing when I met him. However,” Savraba refocused, “that is not the point. If you choose to find a lover, then do it. If you decide you never want to meet someone like that, then don’t. Either way, it is not your concern if I’m alone here. It wasn’t when you left in the first place to find people to deal with, and it’s going to stay that way. I’m your father, not your responsibility. So really, why aren’t you even talking about getting back in the Dungeon?”

After speaking, he stayed silent for a while, letting Astrid stew in her previous denial. Then, after half a minute of purposefully avoiding his gaze, Astrid took a shuddering breath.

“Isn’t it wrong of me to move on?”

“Of course not,” he shook his head. “I can guarantee that my parents were put to death not long after I escaped from slavery. Possibly my siblings as well. The Hordemaster there was, as I have learned now, a somewhat notoriously violent and cruel master, even among the Barbarians. There hadn’t been anybody who had escaped in my memory because of what had happened among the slaves after the previous escape. Knowing that, I fled. People died because of what I did. I mourn their deaths, but it was a hope and a prayer that we all had to escape our lots in life.

“We were kept from gaining Classes until we were at least thirty years old, at which point our lives were much more strictly controlled to make sure that we could never gain enough power to rise up. As a young man, I sneakily gained my Class to start gaining strength in secret. When my family learned that I had done so, those who I trusted, at least, nobody tried to turn me from my goal. Instead, they just congratulated me and did their best to help me.

“Every one of them knew what my escaping would bring them in return. Suffering and possibly death. They embraced that reality in the hopes that I would be able to do something they would never be able to. Your mother, I can guarantee it, felt the same. She didn’t know what you would be able to do with the opportunity she provided you, but she would only be happy that you took this opportunity for greater freedom to continue to pursue what you want to do. It’s not a betrayal to continue to be happy. You’ll be sad sometimes. You’ll wonder what it would have been like if she was still around. You’ll find yourself talking to her some nights when you’re alone.

“But you’ll still do all of that even if you’re purposefully making yourself miserable by not doing what you want and were born to do. If you were to ask me, I’d say that you might as well find some joy in life while embracing the grief.”

Silence settled over the two for a short time, as Astrid simply took in what he said. Then, she allowed a smile to spread across her face. “I do like delving.”

“Of course you do.”

“After I leave, to officially disband the Wanderers party, I’ll need to find out how I’m going to delve from here on.”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

“Even if I end up going somewhere else?”

“I have no doubt you’ll be able to protect yourself, no matter where you go.”

“I’ll make sure I come back here more frequently, though.”

“And if you can’t, send letters.”

“I don’t want to miss so much again.”

“You’re missing whatever’s happening in all of the other countries right now, though. There’s always something to miss and always something else to witness. You simply need to choose what you’ll miss and what you’ll be present for.”

“Do you have some witty retort for everything I say?”

“Not all of them will be witty. But yes, I’ll always have an answer for this. Because this isn’t your home anymore. You’re always welcome, and people here love you. But you’ve left the nest. This isn’t your home, and it never will be again. So go, because I think that your home is more of a journey than it is a location.”

They didn’t say anything else as they leaned against each other and enjoyed the rest of the evening. And with that decision made, Astrid found that she enjoyed the time in Stahlstadt more. She could fully immerse herself in whatever activity she decided to do, because there was the knowledge that she would be getting back into the Dungeon before long. Then, she could let loose and do what she enjoyed.

As if this decision was unstopping a bottle, other things that Astrid had held herself back from became options once again. She practiced with her Skills, hammer, and her equipment. She trained anybody who had questions for her, trying to walk the delicate balance between giving good instruction and allowing them to come to epiphanies on their own. There were hundreds of people who needed help, some of whom could receive help from her and find their problems solved.

The days passed quickly until it was time for Astrid to make her return to Ginnastadt. When that day came, the goodbyes came easily, and Astrid didn’t find herself wrestling with profound emotion. Instead, she could allow herself to enjoy the time she had spent with people she cared about and also look forward to the future.

“I won’t be away for quite so long again without sending letters,” Astrid promised Ahna as she took her friend in a tight hug. “Unless something huge changes, I don’t think there will be anything that can steal my attention for so long. Though, any visits I make will probably be pretty quick.”

“Try to make sure it doesn’t take too long,” Ahna said with a quivering lip. “I want Michael to remember his aunt Astrid when you come back.”

Astrid didn’t make any promises about that, because while she couldn’t remember being a two-year-old herself, she knew that any longer than a month or two would almost certainly purge any memory from his mind of her. She gave Jan a quick embrace as he smiled at her.

“Don’t be a stranger.”

“Not planning on it. Keep these kids safe.”

“With my life.”

Astrid said goodbye to baby Brighid and then Michael, and he didn’t quite understand how long she was going to be gone. She said goodbye whenever they wouldn’t see each other for a little while, and of course he just waved before wandering off to chase a lizard.

“Goodbye, my light. Send letters frequently, because I’ll worry for you. Just knowing that you are still alive and gallivanting across the world will be enough for me to put away any fears.”

“Of course, Papa. I love you.”

Then, with a bittersweet smile crossing her face, she turned and started jogging towards the capital. She remembered how quickly she felt her parents were going when they split away from her when she was only level 6. Now, those parents couldn’t be compared to what she was capable of. Even without pushing herself to her utmost, it was only the work of a few minutes to leave the walls of the city completely behind, invisible even to her perception.

Before long, the roads grew more unfamiliar until, stretching out in front of her, the firmly packed dirt became cobblestones, and Astrid forced herself to slow down as she started to come across more traffic of people traveling into and out of the capital.

Faces turned towards her as she appeared as if from nowhere. A few people started to ask questions, but she just pulsed mana through her boots and dodged back away from them. Once she was alone, she changed her approach. There wasn’t any reason to advertise who she was, even though it was an immensely unlikely thing for her to be recognized. Pulling a cloak around her neck and the cowl over her head, Astrid stepped out of the copse of trees she’d retreated to. Then, as she stepped onto the road, she walked at a regular, sedate pace. 

Over the course of an hour, she entered a line of people entering and was able to enter the city herself. When she stepped through, the guards started to stop her, but one recognized her. 

“Astrid Warrior,” he greeted. “Welcome back. Please, enjoy your time here.”

A few people turned to look closer at her, but she simply walked past the guards and into the city. There, again, she was as unremarkable as a person towering over everyone else was, and started to try to find her party for the last time.