Izzy, Chapter 13: Guys and Gals, Goblins All! (Patreon)

Listen, I’m telling you that yelling like this is a bad idea!

They should have shanked the gnolls. That was Mash’s opinion, and she was sticking to it. The fuzzbutts were going to get loose soon if they hadn't already, and then they'd come after them, and they’d have to do the whole fight all over again. And that wasn't even taking into consideration that a lot of feet, not four, not even eight, had crossed that bridge.

Loudly announcing their presence was a monumentally dumb thing to do. But Izzy in all her body snatching wisdom clearly didn't see it that way, since she, again, opened her mouth — well, Mash’s mouth — and hollered, “Goblins! Hey, goblins! This is your Shaman! Come here, you little bastards!”

If Mash had a face, she would have been palming it. Izzy, please listen to me! Giving you good advice is literally all I can do! You’ll get us killed!

At last Izzy stopped her shouting. “How are we supposed to find everyone, then?” she grumbled. “They’ll all be hiding!”

“Eh?” Caj spoke up from where he flitted around them. “That's what we're for, ain't it? Can't hide from a fairy! Ain't that why you wanted us along?”

“Oh! That’s great! I just wanted a bunch of extra eyes on wings.”

The bodysnatcher was genuinely surprised. Her tone and big face were clear enough, but Mash could feel it through their Soul Bond. She herself had just assumed that Izzy knew, because Mash knew. Although… had she known before Akashic Knowledge? She wasn't so sure.

Maybe, if she wanted her tribe safe and her body alive, Mash should just assume that Izzy was a complete and ignorant idiot. At times like this it didn't feel like a bad bet.

Fairies love to play jokes on people, and they're cowards. They can feel when there are people around, and get an idea if those people are dangerous or not.

“Like they felt those gnoll things?” Izzy said skeptically.

They were distracted! And they can only feel so far. That's why we have so many of them, so they can cover a lot of ground.

“Oh, right. Hey, Caj?”

“Aye?”

“How far away can you feel if someone’s hiding?”

“Eh…” he pointed at a hazel several lengths away. “About as far as the nut bush, there.”

“Hmm. Right. Thanks.”

That's not bad. A bit farther than where the gnolls were, sure, but…

“The fairies were distracted. Fine. So, we head back to the camp?”

Yeah. Stopping by the fallen tree on the way.

“Okay. Caj, can your brothers and sisters and cousins and whatevers find us?”

“No worries about that, mudfoot. They'll find us.”

Mash’s caution was rewarded in only a finger’s time. One of Caj’s poorly defined relations came zooming from somewhere deeper in the forest, hissing, “Hide! Hide your gobbo arse!” as soon as he got close.

Izzy didn't argue. She didn't have a Skill for hiding, but she was still a goblin, and they could all be sneaky enough if they had to. She dropped to the dirt, wedging herself into the narrow space under the rotting log of a windfall, just in time for yips and cackles to carry to them from among the trees.

A small pack of gnolls moved quietly through the ferns and small bushes. That is, their movements were quiet. That effort was completely obliterated by how much noise they themselves made, arguing and joking and laughing with one another.

They didn't pass very close, but it was close enough that one stopped to sniff the air, drawing some interested looks from its companions.

“Smell something?” one if the larger gnolls asked.

“Maybe. Thought I smelled goblin,” the one who’d stopped said. It cocked its head, then shrugged and followed its companions. “Guess not.”

“Not worth hunting after, anyway,” the big one said. “Plenty of food and slaves back at the camp.” The pack laughed, then continued, heading back the way Izzy and Mash had come.

Once the gnolls could no longer be heard Izzy crawled out. She brushed the dirt and the crumbling wood from her much abused dress the best she could, then started fiddling with Mash’s favorite necklace. For some reason that annoyed Mash almost more than anything the thief had done so far. Fiddling with her necklace when she was nervous or thinking hard was Mash’s habit! Wasn't it enough that Izzy had stolen her body? Did she have to steal her tics, too?

“Okay,” Izzy said, very after quite a bit of lip chewing and necklace fiddling. She said it very softly. “You may have been right about not shouting.”

Did you hear what the gnoll said? Do you think they’re eating goblins?

“Maybe. Sounds like it's something they’d do.“

We have to move faster! We need to find everyone, and then we need to find that camp! They said that they have “plenty of slaves!” What if those are our people!?

Izzy fidgeted. “Yeah, no, you're right. Let’s get to the tree, then take a look at the camp, and then… we’ll find those gnolls. Caj? Can you all find them?”

“We ain’t promised to find any damn gnolls. Those shites eat anything! Gram would have my wings if I let the kids go looking for gnolls!”

Izzy’s face fell. “Oh. Yeah, I suppose. You did only promise to help find my tribe. That’s fair.”

“Listen, lass.” Caj flitted hovered close in front of Izzy's face. He looked around, and seeing none of his clan members nearby, lowered his voice and continued, “I can't ask them, right? But I can stick with you for a while. Help you out, a bit. Suppose I owe you for getting me away from that spider and all. I’m not going into any fecking gnoll camp, don't you be thinking that, but I’ll help you find it, aye?”

Izzy, as changeable as a morning breeze, immediately perked up. “Really? Thanks, little bug!”

“Call me that again and see if I don't lead you into a pack of the furry buggers!” Caj exclaimed, zipping forward to kick Izzy right between the eyes to emphasize his outrage.

Izzy, please don't provoke our allies.

Izzy laughed and rubbed at the spot. There was a small mark there, white against her pale green skin and quickly fading. “Right, all right! Thanks, Caj.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

  *

They were in for quite a surprise at the fallen tree. The fairies, for all that they had the attention span of a mayfly, were actually competent at finding people!

They approached the fallen alder along the water. Izzy put a move on as they got closer and she could see fairies in the air around the tree, and soon a grayish-green face popped up, ears rising and eyes going wide.

“Mash? Shaman!?” The goblin guy turned his face down to yell at someone. “Hey, dumbshits! The bugs weren't lying! Mash is here!”

There was an indignant, “Fuck you!” from behind the tree, and then he was jerked downward with a yelp, followed by the sound of a scuffle.

Izzy hurried forward and clambered onto the log. Behind it, three guys and two gals were rolling in a free-for-all scuffle, swearing, biting and scratching for all they were worth. They were all younger than Mash, if only barely. Adolescents with only one guy among them who could generously be called a young adult.

Oh, thank the gods, every bitch and bastard one of them. They’re all fine! Now, get their attention, would you?

The five were indeed fighting with the kind of enthusiasm you’d only see in kids who didn't have any significant injuries. So it was with a clear conscience that Izzy laid into them with her staff, smacking and jabbing and prying until they were all separated, at which point they naturally switched to taking care of their own, and each other’s, scrapes and bruises.

Okay. You need to talk to them, and get them to follow us. That shouldn’t be too hard, as long as you don’t scare them or something, so let’s not tell them about our whole situation, if the fairies don’t. Their names are—

“All right!”  Izzy cut Mash off by addressing the goblins. “Squirrel, Crack, Twitch, Howl, and Buttercup. You feral little bastards! Now that we’ve all calmed the hell down, come here!” Izzy opened her arms wide, and the five adolescents, with more or less feigned reluctance, piled in. “I’m so happy to see you all,” she said, hugging them the best she could. “Have you all been eating?”

“Lotsa grubs and beetles and stuff all over,” said Twitch, the youngest of the guys, in a quick stream of words. “And Squirrel found a bunch of nuts and acorns and Buttercup found a patch of mushrooms and there was a dead fish on the riverbank that barely smelled bad at all.”

“Good. And where have you been sleeping?”

“Old bear den,” Squirrel said. She was the older of the two gals. “Howl found it this spring and told me about it, so us two took everyone there.”

“And you haven’t seen anyone else?”

The kids all looked at each other, their silent looks heavy with meaning, until Crack, the oldest of the group, spoke up. “We know that a bunch of others got away. Mama Badger herded all the kids out into the forest, too. Dunno where they got to, though. We all scattered, and us here found each other in the morning. But, uh, we saw some of those giant furry fucks yesterday. They were carrying sacks that sounded like they had someone in them. But we don’t know who or what or anything.”

“Right. Okay. We were going to find their camp anyway, to see if they'd captured any of ours.” Izzy sat down against the trunk and thought in silence for a while. “We should go right away. I was going to check on our home, but this is more important.”

We should wait here for a while to see if more fairies show up. They may have found others!”

“Oh, right,” Izzy said, getting some curious looks. “There’s other fairies out there, looking for more goblins. We should wait for them, first. We’ll stay here overnight and go tomorrow. Are you all with me?”

“‘Course we’re with you!” Howl barked. She was the other gal, the younger of the two but not by much. “Gotta rescue everyone, don’t we? So we can shank the humans together!”

There was a chorus of muttered agreements, nodding heads and wiggling ears among the adolescents as they fingered the sharpened sticks each of them carried. They were going to need something better than that if they wanted to do any shanking. Or maybe not. A kid in possession of a sharp stick was historically the most common cause for Mash to need to heal someone.

Izzy smiled wide. “I knew I could count on you little bastards. Now, let’s find some food and make a safe—”

She stopped mid sentence to grin as wide as her mouth would go, and only Mash knew why. She knew that Izzy was seeing the same squiggles as she was, and they were glorious.

[Ongoing Task in Quest ‘A Lone Goblin is a Dead Goblin’: Find more goblins! has progressed! Current count: 5. Experience awarded!

Congratulations! You have reached Level 8! Visit your Summary to allocate your Level.]

The kids, though, had no idea why their new leader had suddenly stopped with a dumb grin on her face. There was some whispering, followed by light shoving that rapidly escalated to slapping and stick-poking until Crack spoke up. “Uh, Shaman Mash? You find something tasty in your teeth?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Right.” Izzy grinned at the kids, a kind of grin that made them all quiet down and look at each other nervously. “No, Crack. I just became a Scrum Boss.”

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Question to anyone reading this: The story is roughly going to alternate between focusing on Izzy and Mash. Is it clear who the focus is on, or should I state it at the beginning of each chapter?