Izzy Chapter 23: All The Best Decisions Are Made In Badger Dens (Patreon)

The other goblins had known exactly what Mash was thinking when she told Izzy to take them north along the stream. There was a deep, deep pool at the bottom of the tall, sheer drop, and making the hike there to fling oneself recklessly into the void, hopefully to splash into the water and not onto the rocks, was something of a rite of passage for young goblins. They’d all done it before. Sure, it wasn’t ideal, not with Squirrel hurt and Crash carrying an unconscious Stick, but there was no easy way down for many minutes in either direction, and Mash doubted that the gnolls would be eager to follow.

So what if she’d forgotten to fill Izzy in on any of this? They’d been busy!

She had to give the bodysnatcher this: Izzy didn't hesitate. When it came her turn she didn't slow down, or stop to look anxiously over the edge — which Mash had done her first time. Maybe it was because she was an air spirit. Izzy ran right off the edge with a mad shriek, no hesitation, kicking and flailing as she plummeted, her fear and exhilaration pounding into Mash through their Soul Bond.

It was amazing. To Mash, it felt almost like doing it herself for the first time again, only this time without the embarrassment.

The drop was long, as high as some of the trees, and even though it only lasted a few moments, the anticipation made those moments stretch forever. Then Buttercup splashed into the pool below. Howl and Twitch´were just behind him, and an instant after that Mash was deep beneath the water. Squirrel came right after, red billowing from her side. Last was Crash. The noise of the goblins' chaotic, flailing attempts at swimming was entirely drowned out by a sound like a boulder hitting the water as he lived up to his name, slamming into the water curled tight around the Witch in his arms.

The water churned. Goblins kicked and got kicked right back. Squirrel was limp in the water and Izzy had her by the hair, driving for the surface. Then they were out, joining the others dragging themselves onto the rocks, and Izzy spat and coughed. She got out, “Go! Into the trees!” just before there was a crack of thunder and a young spruce exploded into smoking splinters.

The first three goblins scattered, screaming. Izzy held back, hauling Squirrel away from the pool and then extending her staff to Crash to help him out of the water, too. The Scrapper grunted as a rock bounced off his back, but he fought his way onto land, dragging Stick by one wrist. Looking up, Mash saw a line of furious gnolls at top of the cliff.

They yipped and growled and howled and threw rocks, but none of them took the plunge. Among them stood the Shaman, old and one-eyed and panting, and he looked straight at Mash with a malevolence that made her non-existent blood run cold. “I’ll have him back,” the Shaman growled, and though his voice was low Mash heard it as clearly as though they were right next to each other.

Then Twitch and Buttercup scampered out of the bushes, driven by a cursing, kicking Caj. They grabbed Squirrel between them and took off, and Izzy and Crash followed them into the safety of the trees. They’d made it.

  *

Howl found them an old den of some kind. There they hid while Izzy healed Squirrel — who was barely breathing — and both magic users recovered from the exhaustion of draining their mana.

Stick woke up before Izzy did. He freaked out a tiny bit and scuttled back against the dirt wall of the hole they were hiding in, but calmed down quickly when the others gave him space.

“You okay?” Crash asked. “Magic knocked you out pretty solid.”

“It did,” the Witch said. “I mean, I am. Thanks. Are you all the same tribe?”

Crash shrugged. “Yeah. Just the scrum now, though. Humans killed most, gnolls took the rest.”

“The gnolls got us,” Stick said sympathetically. “Only a handful of us left now. There’s goblins from four or five tribes with this horde. Oh, thank you,” he added when Buttercup handed over a piece of starchy root that he and Twitch had dug out of the wall. Then Stick looked at Mash, who’d been silently keeping watch ever since Izzy passed out. “Spirit, do you know when your Shaman will wake up?”

Mash was so surprised to be spoken to that she nearly floated out the ceiling. She knew that Stick could see her, of course. She just wasn’t used to anyone but Izzy addressing her, and was still a little off balance after the menacing way the gnoll Shaman had done so.

Can’t be sure, she said. But it shouldn’t be long. She only needs to recover some mana, and I’m helping with that.

“Oh, good. Since she’s the Boss I thought I should tell her first, but I think I can just tell you all. I wanted to say that I’ll accept. I’ll join you.”

“You got a lotta words, magic guy!” Twitch said. “Welcome inna scrum!”

“Yeah, you’re in, no worries,” Buttercup agreed. “Boss wants you.”

“Good having you,” Crash said, clapping Stick on the shoulder.

With great satisfaction, Mash saw two new lines of squiggles form, making three total with the one that had appeared as they ran from the pond.

[Feat accomplished: Escaped pursuit. Experience awarded.]

[Ongoing Task in Quest ‘A Lone Goblin is a Dead Goblin’: Find more goblins! has progressed! Current count: 6. Experience awarded.

Congratulations! You have reached Level 10! Visit your Summary to allocate your Level.]

Mash tuned out the goblins as Howl stuck her head in from her perch outside to join in welcoming Stick to the scrum, a welcome that quickly devolved into a free-for-all wrestling match in the cramped space of the den. That Izzy didn’t wake from the kicks and occasional body slams she received was a testament to how messy a normal goblin sleep-pile could be.

Mash left them to it. Perhaps she could have tried to use Stick to calm the others — and she certainly wouldn’t mind talking more to him — but she had a Level to allocate! Level 10 meant that she could get her fifth Level in Advisor Spirit, and that meant another Class Skill!

Her options were already becoming more specialized. Where Intuitive Advice and Akashic Knowledge were both extremely broad Skills, helping with almost anything Izzy might need, now Mash was getting options like Ritualist, Economist, and Strategist, and what to choose was anything but obvious. A few weeks ago she wouldn’t even have understood what many of those words meant. Akashic Knowledge came to her aid, though, as did Intuitive Advice, the latter helping Mash get a feel for what Izzy would need help with. Sure, Ritualist was highly tempting. If Mash could convince Izzy to make use of it, they might be able to find a way to get Mash a body, if not her body. But that wouldn’t help now. Izzy wanted to break their tribe out of the gnoll camp, and the other goblins, too. They may be able to sneak more out with White’s help, the way they had Stick, but since no one else could even see White they might just freak all the way out if the Naiad grabbed them, and drown for real in their panic. No, they would have to somehow sneak into or attack the camp. And to help Izzy succeed, the best choice Mash had available to her was Tactician.

Tactics was a limited concept for goblinkind, but that was mostly in the vocabulary. Mash didn’t know if any goblin could have told her what a diversion was, but everyone was familiar with “trick the bastards into looking the wrong way so you can sneak by or shank them.” If you asked a Goblin Scrum Boss to perform a feigned retreat they’d just look at you funny, but tell them to “pretend to run away so we can ambush ‘em,” and they’d both agree enthusiastically and do their best to pull it off. Now familiar concepts filled Mash’s mind, crystalizing into short words and phrases, and the ways they interacted became clear.

The first thing the Skill told her was that six goblins and a fairy attacking a camp full of gnolls was a terrible idea, that would end up with them all dead or captured. But if there were a lot less gnolls there, with fewer big hitters like the Shaman or the Chieftess, then a hit-and-run could work. As long as their casters had mana, and Izzy prepared…

Yes. Yes, Mash could see this working. She wished she had Strategist, too, to help her set everything up, but she’d make do.

Oh, yes. The gnolls would never know what hit them.

Izzy woke up from her mana exhaustion not much later. She made sure that everyone was, if not all right, then at least fine. Then Stick repeated his desire to join the scrum and the tribe to her. With him effectively being the highest ranked survivor of his own tribe, he also took the step of asking to join his tribe to hers.

Izzy scratched her head. “I mean, I’m saying yes,” she said. “Hell yes, and you’re all welcome! Just… are you sure the others in your tribe will want to?”

“Boss,” Stick said, ears dropping, “there’s so few of us left, and they’re so beaten down, that they’d follow an elf if she just got them out. Yes, I’m sure. Rescue my kin, and we’ll all be as loyal as your own sibling.”

Mash wondered if “loyal” meant something else in Stick’s tribe, but she understood the sentiment.

They stayed in that old den until Squirrel woke up, stretched, declared herself fit to travel, and was summarily piled upon by a bunch of relieved goblin adolescents. Then they set out, very carefully, to find their way back to the Tree. Here, Mash got a real chance to shine. While some of the others had a general feeling for what direction they needed to go, Mash knew, with absolute certainty, where they were and where they needed to go. She led them west first, away from the Tree and anyone likely to be looking for them, then north, a good bit further north than then needed to go, before leading them back toward the southeast with pinpoint precision.

They never even saw a gnoll. The idiot fuzzbutts were probably searching westward, nowhere close to where the goblin’s camp actually was.

Did you take your Level yet? Mash asked Izzy as they sneaked through the undergrowth. They were keeping low, slow, and quiet — for goblins. Just because they hadn’t seen any gnolls didn’t mean that there weren’t any around.

“Yeah,” Izzy said softly. “Scrum Boss.”

Of course! Look at your Skills?

“Same as before, and a new one. Harsh Motivation. Didn’t look yet.”

Mash consulted Akashic Knowledge and… yeah. Maybe not that one. We’re almost back. We’ll talk then, okay? Don’t pick anything!

“Yeah, sure. Almost back?”

See the tall hill ahead, with the pines? Over that, across a brook, we’re there!

“Oh, good,” Izzy said, and some of the tension on her face disappeared. Only when she couldn’t feel that through Soul Bond anymore did Mash realize how tired Izzy was.

You’re worried, aren’t you?

“Squirrel could have died. We almost got caught. I’m… a little shaky,” Izzy admitted. Then she looked and the nearby goblins, and switched to Naiad. “If I die, I don’t know what happens. I think I’ll just go back to being an Aura. But you’ll go wherever dead mortals go, I’m sure. And if any of the scrum die, same thing. I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose any of you. And it’s my job to keep everyone alive. I’m feeling that more than I did before.”

Mash thought about that for a while. She’d always expected some kind of responsibility, ever since Old Rankle made her his apprentice. The Shaman was an important person in the tribe, after all. But she’d never wanted it. She wanted to talk with spirits and heal people, not tell them what to do. Well, she did, but she didn’t want it to be her fault if things went poorly.

If she got her body back, she’d be responsible for a whole tribe. Because that was what was happening here, wasn’t it? Izzy was building a whole new tribe, out of the ashes of their old one, with the addition of Stick and, soon, all the other goblins in the gnoll camp.

Mash wanted her body back. But she didn’t want to be the leader of a tribe. And where she was… it wasn’t so bad. And Izzy was doing well.

You’re going to do great. You’re doing great, she told Izzy. And to herself, making sure that Izzy couldn’t hear, she thought, What am I going to do?