Izzy Chapter 24: Communication Is Key (Patreon)

It was past sunset when they got back to the Tree. There was no sign that anyone had come sniffing around — no disturbed dirt, no fur stuck in the brambles, and, most importantly, all their stuff was still there. But why would the gnolls search in that direction? The goblins had rescued Stick, and then gotten into a scrap with the gnolls, downstream of the camp. Then they’d fled into the forest, nowhere close to where the Tree was. No, Izzy was satisfied that the Tree was safe. And that was important, because they wouldn’t be able to start whittling down the gnolls’ numbers if they didn’t have a safe place to operate out of.

That was Mash’s plan, and Izzy trusted her. They’d gotten off to a rocky start for sure, but Mash wanted her tribe safe even more than Izzy did. The plan had two parts, really. The first was to kill off enough gnolls that the Chieftess had to commit a lot of her minions to finding Izzy and her scrum, ideally with the Chieftess and the none-too-happy Shaman joining the search themselves. The other part was to hit the gnoll camp while all those gnolls were away.

It wasn’t a complicated plan, but it had more than one step, so it counted.

They took a day to rest. Izzy used her mana to make sure that everyone was healthy, and to reinforce the brambles. Stick let the Crafters and the Huntresses know what kinds of things he needed to make poultices and potions, and everyone else did their jobs. And, of course, they went down to the water, to let White know that everything had gone, if not according to plan as such, then at least well.

“Oh, I’m so glad!” White burbled once they’d told her the whole story of their harrowing escape. “And their Shaman is so mad! He keeps trying to throw lightning at me! Hah! Lightning! At a naiad! Springs and rapids, he’s so dumb!”

“So you’re still keeping an eye on them?” Izzy asked.

“Oh, yes! They’re so amusing,” she said. Then she got a little whiny as she continued, “But now they make anyone who goes down to the water wear a rope around their waist, with a gnoll holding on to the other end. I caught one of the little pink fellows, the what’sits? Gnomes? I could barely drown her at all before they pulled her out.”

“That’s… too bad?” Izzy suggested.

Stick pulled on one of his ears and sighed. “We talked about this, ah, White. Is that name good with you, by the way?”

“‘White’ is just fine with me!” the Naiad burbled. “Me and my sisters just call each other ‘Sister,’ but it would be weird for you to say that.”

“Good. Good. White, please, please don’t drown anyone who isn’t a gnoll.”

“But the gnolls don’t come down to the water!” White said, splashing around unhappily before settling down again.

“There is that,” Stick said under his breath. “What if we compromise? You can still catch gnomes and humans and may even goblins, but you don’t drown them all the way? Just scare them and let them go?”

“When they stop bubbling is the best part!” White whined, but to Izzy’s astonishment she actually sounded like she was giving in. Like a kid who just wanted to let you know that they were going to do whatever they’d been told, but they weren’t happy about it.

And then Stick brought out a most compelling argument. “If you don’t drown them all the way you can drown them over and over again, later.”

Reading expressions on the naiads wasn’t the easiest thing, but there was no mistaking the look of wonder and revelation on White’s face at those words.

“You’re good with her,” Izzy said to Stick as they were walking back to the Tree. “I’ve been able to get along with her and convince her to help, but she never listened to me like that.”

Stick shrugged. “I spent a lot of time by the river, washing ingredients for Ragsha’s potions and poultices. We talked a lot, me and White. She’s… she really likes drowning people.”

“Yep,” Izzy said.

“But she doesn’t seem to understand that it hurts them. She understands that it kills them, but she doesn’t understand why that’s bad.”

“That’s worse!”

“Yeah. But I’m thinking maybe she can learn. She’s not stupid, or even bad, really. That was my point. She doesn’t like hurting people. And she doesn’t like killing them. She likes drowning them, and if they die when she does that, it’s just something that happens. Does that make sense?”

He’s so smart! Mash said, and Izzy couldn’t help but think that her goblin spirit familiar sounded a little bit dreamy.

“You think a lot, don’t you?” Izzy said. Not unkindly — it was just not very common among goblins.

Stick shrugged again. “My teacher always wanted me to think about things. To ask myself about causes and consequences. That can be really important in potion making. And in curses, too. She did a lot of curses. I never got the Skill, but that didn’t bother her. Her teacher had Death Magic, like me, you see?”

Izzy thought about it. “She… liked her teacher, so you getting the same Skill as they had made her happy?”

“Right! And also because being able to steal someone’s sight or breath is really useful.”

“Was that the choking spell?”

Stick nodded. “Yanks the breath right out of them and into me,” he said proudly. “Just have to remember to breathe out before casting. Having double the air in you is uncomfortable. And stealing their sight can be really confusing, because I see with my eyes and theirs, but they choose where to look, and when to blink and everything. I used to throw up a lot when I first got that spell.”

“...Right.”

  *

Picking a new Class Skill was hard. Not because Izzy had so many great things to choose from, but because none of them excited her.

“I don’t want to have to hit people to use my Skill!” she complained to Mash, whose favorite among Izzy’s options was Harsh Motivation.

You already bonk and poke people with your staff all the time! Do you think you’ll stop once we have a bunch of new people in the tribe? Ones who don’t think they grew up with you?

“Well… no!” Izzy wanted to deny it, but it wasn’t like she could lie to someone who lived in her head. “But wouldn’t Cat Herding do the same thing without me needing to smack people?”

Eh… it would help all the time, but Harsh Motivation would help much more when it counts. Like if Buttercup and Twitch start fighting while we’re waiting in ambush.

“Yeah, but—”

“How often do you poke or bonk them right now?

“Every day? A couple of times every day. Each. But—”

“Does it work?”

“Usually.”

“Do they get mad?”

“Hardly ever.”

“So, do you want—”

Mash, Izzy realized, just didn’t get it. “I don’t want to do it at all! That’s the thing! I do it because it works but I don’t want to!”

“I don’t get it.”

“I want to lead without poking and bonking!”

“No, I understand the words, I just don’t understand why.”

“Because I… they’re our friends. Our family. I don’t want to be hitting them to keep them in line.”

“That’s not a—” Mash started, then went silent. Izzy had a sense that the spirit was looking around, probably to see if Stick was around, since he was the only one who could possibly overhear them. “Not a very goblin way to think. The others are gonna get suspicious!” Mash finished.

“Yeah, well— Squiggles! Gimme Cat Herding!” Izzy spoke quickly, before Mash could interrupt and make her doubt herself again, and felt the Skill settle in with more than a little relief. There. It was done. Now they couldn’t do anything about it until her next Level.

“Ah!” Mash exclaimed, managing to pack a whole sentence’s worth of offense into a single little sound. “Really? Why? Why would you— who’s the advisor with cosmic knowledge here? What’s the point of this… partnership if you’re not going to listen?”

“I listened!” Izzy said. She refused to feel bad about this, no matter how offended Mash was. “I just didn’t agree! It’s my Level, and my Skill! I don’t want to spend it on hurting people I care about!”

“It wouldn’t— They wouldn’t— Bah! Fine! Do whatever you want! See if I—”

“I already did!” Izzy said triumphantly and immediately felt bad about it. Mash had gone silent. Izzy couldn’t even feel if her companion was angry, sulking, or what, and wished that she could see her like Stick could. But she was not going to apologise! And she was not going to ask someone else to help her figure out how bad she should feel, either!

Instead she marched back to the Tree, counting everyone in. They were all there. That included Caj. The fairy seemed to be in it for the long haul, probably hoping for that evolution, and Izzy watched him for a bit.

Caj was alternatingly flitting around Crash’s head, then landing and scratching in the dirt with a stick. “Wanker!” he said in Fairy, and Crash happily repeated, “Wa-nker.”

“No, no! Wan-ker!” Caj corrected.

“Wan-ker. Wan-ker. Wanker!”

Caj laughed. “Now you got it, gobbo! Right, next!” He landed and poked at the ground with his stick. “Arsehole!”

Unable to contain her curiosity, Izzy approached.

“Ars-hol,” Crash said. He didn’t seem to have seen her.

“Arse-hole,” Caj corrected slowly before turning to Izzy. “Hey, boss gobbo!”

“Hey, Caj,” Izzy said. “Teaching Crash some…” She looked at the ground beneath Caj’s feet. The pictures he’d drawn were crude but clear enough, depicted and exactly what she’d expected. “Teaching him some Fairy, I see.”

“Oh, aye!” Caj said happily.

Crash turned around, looked Izzy square in the eye, and said, “Arse-hole!” in passable Fairy. He was pointing at Caj.

“See?” Caj laughed, not the least put off. “He learns quick as anything!”

“Right,” Izzy said and then told Crash, “Well done,” in Goblin. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it, but getting into the spirit of the thing she repeated herself in Fairy. It didn’t need to make sense as long as it kept Crash from getting bored and wandering off. “Finish up, and then come to the Tree,” she told them in both languages, then went there herself.

Only Twitch and Stick were in. Twitch was making caltrops — small, and nasty, they’d become a favorite. He was also dipping them in some kind of goop that Stick was preparing and stir vigorously with a stick before each point was dipped. Izzy could only imagine that whatever it was, you wouldn’t want it stuck inside your foot.

That was all good. She’d take a rest to think while they waited for Buttercup and the two Huntresses. Mash was sulking, or punishing her, or whatever, but the spirit was getting full of herself. Izzy was her own person! Sure, she was her own person in what used to be Mash’s body, but that didn’t mean that she had to do what Mash said. Especially not with her Skills! That was permanent!

If Mash thought that Izzy couldn’t handle things without her, then Izzy was going to show her how wrong she was. She was going to gather everyone, they were going to do what she said without her poking or bashing anyone, and they’d all kill a whole bunch of gnolls! Then Mash would see that Izzy could make her own decisions, and not be so damn bossy all the time!

Yeah. She liked the spirit, sure, but she didn’t need her. The sooner Mash understood that, the better.