Starmind Chapter 14 (Patreon)

“Star? How’re you doing, girl?” Varlanda asked. Only a few seconds had gone by since the Bad Guys passed us. Temeri was decelerating — making me decelerate — to return to New Me, but she was doing so much more gently than during her escape maneuver. With my gravity field reversed the Crew were barely feeling any G’s at all, but Varlanda was still breathing hard, like everyone else.

I found it hard to answer. I didn't want to. I didn't want to speak, or feel, or know what was going on. The Crew were safe now, and all I wanted was to disconnect from everything until the fear and the pain was gone.

It was worse than when I’d first awoken. The damage was less, but it was so much worse because I knew why I was hurting: someone had hurt me! Deliberately! And they’d done it because they wanted to hurt my Crew!

It was almost too much. Almost enough for me to run away and hide in the quiet and the dark. Almost, but not quite, because I could hear the worry in Varlanda’s voice, and that was more important than my comfort.

“How are you doing?” she’d asked. 

Well, awful. Absolutely terrible. I was doing “I hate this.” But I couldn't tell her that. It wouldn't help at all. So I checked what the numbers had to say.

Starmind Level 2

Core Integrity 2/2

Structural Integrity 89/100

Crew 5/5

Mana 5/100 (1.44 / min)

That wasn't so bad. Which was good! I could tell her, “Not so bad,” and it would be true. There was the usual notice about the mana gain being limited by the ambient mana field, too. Then there was a message that I hadn't noticed:

New construction option: Phase Disruption Field Generator

For the first time, I got a little bit mad at whatever was sending me these messages and parceling out new skills and options. I had a feeling for what that generator did, and giving it to me now, when I’d already been shot, was just mean. If it was supposed to keep phase-cycling mana pulses from passing through matter, like I thought it was, then I could have really used that a few seconds ago!

“Star?! Are you okay?” Varlanda said again, and she sounded a lot more anxious now. I realized that it had been a little while since her first question, and I still hadn’t said anything. But I didn’t know what to say! I didn’t want to worry them, but how could I be honest and not do that? I wasn’t okay. I very much was not okay!

Then Temeri barked, “Star! Status report, essentials only!” and I just spoke.

“Structural integrity at 89% and rising; no current hull breaches. Core integrity at 100%. Moderate damage to visual sensors. Light to moderate damage to non-essential secondary and tertiary systems; on-site diagnostic required. Severe to total damage to three out of six secondary thrusters; on-site diagnostic required. Total loss of three out of twelve manoeuvring thrusters; pre-existing. Total loss of one out of six rotational thrusters; pre-existing. Captain, what just happened?”

The words had just come automatically. And it hadn’t been like when Temeri controlled my thrusters; I’d spoken, but it was like I was reading a script being fed into my mind. They were all things I knew, but there was no way I would have been able to say them so calmly and objectively on my own.

“I—” Temeri seemed as surprised as I was. “That was a completely normal status report, Star! Thank you!”

“You’re welcome! But I didn’t do it! I mean, I said the words, but they weren’t my thoughts!”

“Did it upset you?” Temeri said cautiously.

“No,” I said. Not because I knew that saying yes would upset Temeri, but because it was true. It really didn’t. It was a strange feeling, but… “It was a little comforting, actually. I didn’t know what to say, and I was getting more and more upset that I wasn’t letting you know that I’m… I’m not really okay. That was very scary, and it still hurts a lot. But I’m still here.”

Temeri relaxed into her couch again. “That’s good. So you’re okay with me asking for status reports?”

“I guess? But it’s nicer if you ask instead of telling, like that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Bekeri spoke up. “Captain — and Star, please correct me if I’m wrong — losing half of our secondary thrusters is a loss of 25% of our maximum thrust, and it’ll throw the center of thrust right off!”

“I’m aware, Bekeri. I could feel it, and I’m running on primary thrust only right now. Star, which thrusters are out?”

“Secondary thrusters two, three, and five, manoeuvring thrusters eight, nine, and ten, and rotational thruster five.”

“So mostly in the same quadrant,” Temeri sighed. “Yeah, that tracks with how you handle right now, Star. We’ll just have to be careful.” She paused, then said, “Actually, would you like to take back control, Star? I don’t see any reason why I’d need to be in the pilot’s seat for the next hour or two.”

“Of course, Captain!” I said as I rerouted all navigational control from the pilot’s seat back to myself. Temeri jiggled her control a little — she looked surprised to lose control so quickly.

I didn’t feel very nimble. Even though the main thrusters gimballed, both the primary and the remaining secondaries, there was a fairly large arc that I just couldn’t easily turn toward. I had to rotate and finesse it to manage, and I was dangerously close to being clunky — I didn’t like that at all.

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” I said to Varlanda, and only her, as I finished the approach to New Me. It was fiddly, since a bit of exhaust hit the hull and pushed it away from us, but I managed.

“That’s okay,” she whispered very softly, so only I would hear. “You must have been so scared. And worried for us, too.”

“I was!” I said, so glad that she understood.

“But it’s going to be all right, okay?” Varlanda got out of her couch, a little unsteady on her feet. “I’m going to finish that Matrix, and we’re going to get what we need, and then we’ll burn out of here. How long do we have?”

“If I start burning away from the bad guys once we’re connected again, we should have, uh… six hours before they could possibly catch up again? And that’s only if they have enough fuel.”

“Good.” Varlanda raised her voice and said, “Captain, permission to get back to work?”

“Granted, Enchantress,” Temeri said as she got out of her couch as well. “Healer Tell, a pick-me-up for your sister, please.”

“Aye, Captain,” Simeon said at the same time as Varlanda said, “Thanks, Captain. I’m flagging a bit.”

“You’re five minutes from being asleep on your feet, Enchantress,” Temeri said. She even smiled a little! “Artificer Bekeri, surface level diagnostic on the damaged secondary and tertiary systems. Star, please show him what needs looking at. And Diviner Alder, take a nap. I’ll wake you for your watch later.”

There was a chorus of “Aye, Captain!” as they all moved to get to their respective tasks. Harvin was first to the access tube, and he had his hands on the ladder when he said, “Ah, Star?”

“Yes, Harvin?”

“Did you block off the access tube?”

“Oh! Sorry, let me get that! I’d forgotten about that completely!”

  *

“I honestly don’t know what to make of this,” Bekeri said as he inspected the ruined bits of arcane machinery that I’d led him to. “Perhaps I’m just too tired and confused, but I doubt it. You say your mana detection works perfectly?”

“It does!” I confirmed.

“No change at all from before the attack?”

“No. I lost a visual sensor, but my mana sense is the same as it’s always been.”

“See, that makes no sense. These—” he picked up some burned shards of metal on the floor, “are part of your mana sensor package. You should be entirely blind to mana right now.”

“Oh. That’s odd!”

“That it is,” Bekeri muttered, turning the shards of metal over and over in his hands.

The next damaged area that he looked at apparently had some bits that were supposed to make my gravity field work in that quadrant of my body, but it worked just fine without it. The generator was humming along just fine in another part of me so I didn’t see why there should be a problem. According to Bekeri, it just didn’t make sense that there was any gravity at all in the crew cabins.

“But there is, though,” I insisted. “You can check yourself! Harvin would have said if he couldn’t lie down on his bed!”

“No, Star, I believe you. I really do. It just doesn’t make any sense. There’s nothing there to generate the field!”

“But there is, though!” I insisted. I really didn’t see the problem. “I’m there!”

“Huh.” Bekeri looked at the twisted wreckage of what had been, in his words, a gravity field generation node. His ears twitched a bit, and he looked around at the remaining machinery, then the walls, floor, ceiling… just everything in the compartment. Then he said, “You are, aren’t you?”

“I am!”

“So the fields, and the mana sensors… That actually makes a lot of sense!”

“It does!” I said, relieved that he finally seemed to understand.

“In that case, I’m going to bed. Wake me when it’s my watch?”

“Of course!”

  *

The pain slowly faded as I repaired the damage to my Hull, using material from the extra thickness I’d added under the bridge along with some rare elements from my precious reserves. I could have just stopped feeling the damage, but a lot of it was hard to find with any other kind of sense, and the Bad Guys were definitely coming back for another attempt. I was accelerating away from them with New Me attached right above the bridge, but with three missing main thrusters and all that extra mass, the going was slow. I couldn't afford to have any damaged sections of Hull if they caught up, so I worked very hard on fixing myself.  I even gained a level in one of my skills!

Structural Maintenance has reached level 2!

I may have imagined it, but it felt like the repairs went faster after that.

By the time the Bad Guys started gaining on us, I was seriously considering leaving New Me and the stuff onboard behind. I wanted those materials so bad — I knew that they’d be useful for all kinds of things. And it wasn't only rare elements like gold and silver; there was magitine and adamantine and all kinds of really tricky alloys and enchanted materials that I had no idea if I’d be able to find or make more of.

No matter how much I wanted those materials, though, staying out of range of the Bad Guys and their weapons was more important. But after what we’d been through, Temeri was determined to make me happy. On the captain’s order, Varlanda had Simeon standing by to keep her super alert, and Temeri asked me to give Varlanda all the mana crystals she asked for so she could work as fast as possible.

At around 0330 hours, Varlanda threw up her hands and whooped. Simeon, who’d been napping under a blanket in the corner, startled awake with a snort.

“The hell, Vee?” he complained. He looked pretty funny with his eyes only half open and a bit of drool on his chin.

“It’s done!” she declared. “I’ve finished the Storage Matrix, and I dare you to find anyone who could have done it faster!”

“What? You dare me…?”

“I dare you!”

“To try?”

“To find one,” Varlanda whispered. Her eyes were wide open and I thought she was staring really intensely at Simeon, but when he moved her eyes didn't follow him at all.

“Okay, Vee,” Simeon said, walking over to her. “Great job. Let's get you to bed, huh? Or maybe to your couch, just in case we have to burn again.”

“Dare you,” she whispered again. “You hear that, Star? I’m done!”

“I heard!” I said. I hadn't wanted to butt in, but now I couldn't hold back anymore. “It’s working perfectly, and the pocket space is even bigger than I expected! I’m already filling it with stuff!”

As fast as I could, I was dismantling the machinery and other things that we hadn't been able to move. I would have liked to keep them to analyze with the Manufacturing Matrix, however that worked, but with the Bad Guys slowly closing in, I could convince myself to be satisfied with just the materials.

Well, almost satisfied. I tried to leave bits and pieces that were small enough for me to move with my telekinesis. Even if they couldn’t do anything on their own, I hoped that I’d be able to analyze them, or that Bekeri might be able to repurpose them or use them as spares somewhere. So, while I filled the Storage Matrix with mostly raw materials, I kept a steady stream of parts moving through the small tunnel I’d opened up between the bridge and New Me, stowing them away in the newly freed-up cargo hold.

Temeri didn’t really like that. Every so often she’d look at the hole in the ceiling and frown. But she didn’t say anything — each time that she looked, she’d just go back to working on her slate again. When I sneaked a peek, it looked like she was plotting trajectories and maneuver schedules, taking my missing thrusters into account. I really thought she should be napping, but I didn’t argue with her. I understood wanting to be useful.

Besides, practice with my telekinesis was just what I needed judging by the message I got:

Telekinetic Manipulation has reached level 2!

That let me carry more and heavier things, which really helped. It got to the point that, between moving things with telekinesis and taking them apart and putting them in storage with teleportation, I was actually noticing the mana cost. I wasn’t losing mana yet, but my work was eating about a quarter point per second, which wasn’t nothing.

By 0430 hours, I had brought everything over that I reasonably could from New Me. I’d almost filled the cargo hold and the new Storage Matrix, and most of my Hull was at least two, sometimes three inches thicker; I had plenty of extra emergency reaction mass if I needed it, even if I didn’t like the idea. Meanwhile, the other ship was a gutted shell of its former self. It was sad, really — it hadn’t had a good life, and now I’d torn it apart, almost like the pirates maybe planning to do to me. I comforted myself with the knowledge that it would live on in me, helping me make things to take care of my Crew.

“Temeri,” I said, startling her — she’d been resting her eyes for a suspiciously long time. “I’m ready to let go now. We should make sure everyone’s ready.”

“Right,” she said, then yawned. “Thanks, Star.”

Making sure that everyone was ready didn’t involve much. Other than Temeri, everyone was asleep in their couches on the bridge — Simeon and Varlanda were both too exhausted to take a watch but had chosen to sleep there, and Bekeri and Harvin had both stayed on the bridge after their watches. All Temeri needed to do was to make sure they were strapped in properly, since we were going to be “pulling some hard G’s,” as Temeri put it.

Leaving New Me behind would involve first decelerating, then maneuvering around the hulk as it continued forward, and finally accelerating hard to hopefully outrun the Bad Guys — or if not outrun them, then at least make chasing us too expensive. Temeri agreed that there was nothing that needed her to take the controls, but she still insisted on being awake for it.

“You should strap in, too,” I told her after she’d returned to her couch.

“Huh?” she said, then looked down to see the leg, hip, and torso straps all still retracted into the couch. “Oh. Yeah. Thanks.”

“And then you should sleep!”

“Later,” she said, rubbing her eyes with the thumb and forefinger of her left hand. “Once we’re away.”

“There’s really nothing for you to do here. It would take another hour for the Bad Guys to catch up with us even if we couldn’t accelerate. Half an hour at least before they might start shooting at us. Once I start burning properly, we’ll see. But my Navigational Matrix thinks it will be a day at least before they get close. Straps, Temeri.”

“Huh? Mmm, thanks for the reminder,” she said. It still took a moment before she finally strapped herself in.

“When was the last time you had a proper night’s sleep, Temeri?”

“Hmm? Why?”

“You’ve been late to your cabin and then early to come out. You don’t nap. You’re not sleeping enough, are you?”

“I’ll be fine for another day or two. Don’t worry about me.” She said that, but her eyes were closing as soon as she relaxed.

“Okay, how about this,” I said. I’d already closed the tunnel between myself and New Me. Now I cut the connection entirely and started decelerating with the small, front-facing braking thrusters. “I’ve started. I’ve let go of New Me and now I’m slowing down a bit. In a moment, I’ll maneuver around it. In a minute, once we’re accelerating away from the Bad Guys, then can you get some sleep?”

“I need to…” she said, trailing off as she waved her hand in the air. “There are things to do.”

“I’m sure there are, but none of them are so important that you can’t get a few hours of sleep. They’ll still be there later. It’s not like you’ll go to sleep and never wake up,” I joked.

Temeri made one last effort to stay awake. Her eyes opened wide and she tried to sit up, but the straps held her down, and right then I started accelerating, which pushed her back down. She tried once or twice more, but the poor woman was exhausted. By the time we were clear of New Me and I really opened up, using the primary and only two of the secondary main thrusters to keep the center of thrust on my midline, Temeri had given up. She lay back into her couch, her eyes fluttering closed, and soon she was asleep.