Splinter Angel Chapter 161 (Patreon)

Ana and Messy spent much of their last day in the Splinter packing.

Ana admittedly didn’t have much. Her gear and her clothes—not many changes of those—made up the bulk of her possessions. Then there was the lavender dress and matching heels she’d arrived in, her much abused white Kate Spade purse with her phone, keys, cards, and other useless memories of Earth, and her gun and empty magazines. Finally there were the things she’d claimed from the store of changelings’ possessions at Karti’s camp: her white steel water bottle with the rainbow Sydney Bridgeclimb logo, the broken gun with its ammunition that she hoped to find a use for, a tiny pepper spray, a solar-powered wristwatch that she’d yet to use, and a whole bunch of hygiene products that she’d squirreled away for the inevitable bad days when the local alternatives weren’t available.

Add in a few minor knickknacks and daily necessities, and that was the sum total of her possessions. She could easily carry it all on her back.

Messy had… more. She’d been in the Splinter for three cycles, and she’d filled her small apartment with clothes, decorations, and all kinds of other things that that had helped turn it into a home. Combined with her Delving gear it was all far more than she and Ana together would be able to carry; not because of weight, but because of bulk. And so, while Messy had made an honest effort to pick and choose in the days leading up, today much of their packing consisted of them picking and choosing what would make the final cut.

The painting that Valena the Memorist had painted of Messy and Ana on their first real date was non-negotiable, nor would Ana have asked the woman she loved to leave it behind. The same went for the green dress and the sandals that Messy had been wearing on that night. Other than that, picking and choosing among her clothes and a few favorite pieces of art was, in Messy’s own words, “worse than being stabbed in the lung.”

At least her jewellery didn’t take much room.

As the afternoon wore on Messy was down to the last few, most heartbreaking decisions. “You should go,” she told Ana. “You need to finalize things with the others, and I don’t want to waste our farewell dinner on planning. And quite frankly, I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“I don’t know, Mess,” Ana said, looking dubiously at the neatly ordered piles of yeses, nos, and maybes. “Kinda seems like you need the moral support.”

“I do,” Messy admitted. “But I mean it. You need to make sure that everyone knows their part, and this will go easier if I don’t feel the useless need to keep it together in front of you. I love you for thinking like that, but go. Make sure everyone’s ready tomorrow, no matter what. And you may as well get your hair touched up.”

Ana frowned, running her hand through her cropped hair. Gone were the badly faded remains of platinum blonde; she was down to her natural chestnut now, though Messy had found a kind of dirty white clay for her to use to hide her real color. The clay slicked her hair down, which was just as well; the very top was long enough, but the hair on her sides and halfway up her scalp was barely long enough to fall instead of standing straight out like a brown dandelion. She didn’t have much to choose from in the way of cuts, either—she couldn’t even do a side- or undercut. The shaved sides were such a big part of her description that anyone looking for her would be looking for that, among other things. So letting it grow as it might and matting it down with white clay was the best she could do for the time being.

Even with the clay she’d been wearing a bandana in public to stop the Lord of Order from seeing the change through one of his remaining worshippers. It was easy enough to do, and it couldn’t hurt to add another point of possible confusion. And what she had now wasn’t how it would look when the portal opened. It still remained to be seen what Sadie might be able to do with it. She’d be taking care of all the other parts of Ana’s disguise, after all.

In the end, after some increasingly insistent urging, Ana left Messy to mourn the things she’d have to leave behind. Her girlfriend was right; Ana needed to make sure that everything was in place, and that everyone knew what to do depending on which plan they went with. The Wayfarer reported that she couldn’t see any obvious buildup of forces in Ellsthal, but none was to be expected; the Bluesky Guild would never tolerate that, no matter what faction they belonged to. But that didn’t mean that Ana and her patron goddess’s enemies hadn’t quietly moved people into position, nor that the Summerlands, who were on the guild council, hadn’t ordered the Ellsthal city guard to be on the lookout for someone matching Ana’s description, and to take her into custody. 

The biggest relief was that there was no sign of Serené Summerland. The Ascender’s presence was their worst-case scenario. Her younger brother hadn’t been easy to put down; she was supposedly far more dangerous than he had been, and they had no friendly Ascenders in place to counter her. The Wayfarer encouraged independence, cultivating a free spirit, and wandering far and wide; it was no surprise that those few Ascenders who were so dedicated to her that she could become their patron were paragons of all those traits. Most of them were stuck in one Splinter or another, and of those who were in the Primes the nearest was, according to the goddess herself, at least a week away at his best speed, considerable though it was.

Well, none of Ana’s plans depended on any kind of outside help. If Serené was in or near Ellsthal when the portal opened, Ana had a plan for that, too: she’d simply have to run for it alone. It was an awful plan, admittedly, but what the hell else was she supposed to do?

So, Ana went around. She talked to friends, all busy with their own preparations, and to the guild officers who’d promised their unconditional support in making sure that Ana got away safe. She said her farewells to Touanne and Tellak, thanking them for all their help and wishing them the best of luck in case they didn’t have a chance to really talk at the dinner that evening. She spoke to Sidney and Peter, the two men who’d made themselves the leaders of the nearly hundred strong community of Stolen in the Splinter, about half of whom were leaving; Sidney and Peter themselves were staying. In Peter’s words: “I’m still figuring out this place. You think we’re going to wander off into some city in the mountains where we can’t even talk to anyone? I mean, good luck to anyone who does, but not me. Ask me again in six months and we’ll see.”

Ana doubted she’d ever see him again, but she understood the sentiment.

She even went to talk to the mercenaries, who’d been allowed to stay in the outpost for the night with the understanding that they’d be among the first through the portal. They—or more specifically Aaspiyah—had a role to play as well. Ana understood from Captain Falk that it had cost a pretty penny to secure their services, but that he considered it absolutely worth it.

What Pirta would think when she found out, Ana had no idea. She hoped the elf would agree.

Most of the conversations she had that afternoon went as expected. Only one didn’t.

“I can’t come,” Deni told Ana as they sat in the shadow of her partially repaired home. “I know it’s unforgivably late to pull out, and I want to come. I really do. And I’m with you tomorrow, as are Lessie and Perri. But I can’t leave my parents, and me and the guys are working so well together, and it’s just…” The young mage lowered her eyes from Ana’s, then looked away entirely. “I just can’t.”

“Oh,” was all Ana could say at first. For a few seconds she was at a loss for words. “I wish you would,” she finally said. “I like having you around.”

“Yeah, I like you too,” Deni said despondently. “But… yeah.”

“No, I get it.”

“I feel awful. You and Kaira, and Messy and Ray, and Jisha’s so great, and… gods, I don’t want to lose you all, but I just can’t leave Ma and Pa. Not now.”

“Deni,” Ana said softly, throwing her hand over her young friend’s shoulders. “I get it. I’m not going to blame you for having to choose between me and your friends and family.”

“Really?” Deni finally looked up again, hope shining in her eyes. “You don’t feel like I’m turning my back on you when you need all the help you can get? Because that’s how I feel, and—”

“I’m not going to pretend that I’m not disappointed. And I’m not going to insult you by saying that we’ll be fine without you. Your firepower, and your whole vibe—Jisha taught you vibe, right?”

“She did,” Deni replied, smiling for the first time since she told Ana she had something to tell her.

“Yeah, well, your whole vibe is good for morale. But I won’t blame you. I’ve been learning about actually being attached to people, and seeing you with Lessie and Perri, and knowing how much you love your folks…”

“I’ll come find you,” Deni blurted. “Once my parents are on solid footing again, I’ll come find you!”

Ana smiled, giving Deni squeeze hard enough to make the younger woman groan. “I won’t hold you to that. And I don’t know how easy I’ll be to find. But if you do, you’re always welcome in my Party.”

“I promise I’ll try,” Deni said resolutely. “I’ll try.”

“I believe you. So… beyond tomorrow, what’s the plan?”

Deni snorted with amusement. “More Delving, what else? I’ve been talking to Sendra lately, and I think she might be interested in joining us now that Kaira’ll be gone. She only ever liked the Ladies’ Night gang, according to her, but she doesn’t want to give up on Delving. And…” Deni hesitated.

“And what?” Ana asked curiously.

“You’ll think we’re crazy, or stupid or something.”

“Try me.”

“Alright,” Deni said, speaking slowly and watching Ana for a reaction. Ana could practically taste her apprehension through her aura. “We’ve been talking about giving Waller a chance.”

“That’s… surprising. I thought you might want to light him on fire,” Ana said, keeping her face carefully neutral.

“I mean, I did. Kind of,” Deni admitted. “It’s Lessie’s idea. She knew him by his shitty reputation before, but apparently he’s impressed her, or something. You know, in the north, then after poor Rill got possessed. They’ve been sparring a lot, too.”

“Sparring, or… sparring?”

Deni laughed. “Ew! No. Uh, don’t think so, anyway. I mean hitting each other with training weapons, sparring. And with Perri and all, I mean… I don’t know.”

“So those two, are they…?”

Deni blushed and shook her head. “I, um… I’ve known them for two cycles now, and I still can’t say. I’ve never seen either with anyone else, and I’ve never caught them so much as looking at each other in, you know, that way. At this point I’m too embarrassed to ask.”

Ana’s last stop before returning to the apartment to change for the farewell dinner was Bessir the Barber. He evened out her hair a bit, gushed about what an honor it had been to work on her, and asked if she’d noticed some of the younger Delvers copying her hairstyle—the one she’d arrived with, not the one she currently wore. Why, just that day, he said, he’d had three women come in and ask for it, and they hadn’t been the first.

Ana had noticed. She may have also had something to do with it.

*

The farewell dinner was not a private affair. Nor had Ana expected it to be. While it would have been nice to be just her and her actual friends at Petra’s, she was way too much of a public figure, and everyone knew that she was leaving. Summer Angel Splinter wanted to see her off, and she suspected that would have happened wherever she was. So instead of crowding Petra’s to the point where service became impossible, never mind conversation, they made it a public celebration. Petra got together with a bunch of other innkeepers and eatery owners, and between them they filled the square with mismatched tables and all manner of food and drink. Then they simply spread the word, and welcomed anyone who wanted to come.

Anyone was near enough everyone. It seemed the whole Splinter turned out for at least a short while, with many staying all night. It didn’t take long before the first music began to play, and once that happened, the dancing and the games weren’t far behind.

Ana allowed Messy to drag her onto the floor for exactly one dance, a quick, whirling circle dance with easy steps, where her Agility and reaction time let her pick up the steps well enough not to embarrass herself after a few rounds. But that was as much as she had time for before she gave Messy her blessing to dance without her to her heart’s content, and with whomever she wished if they switched to pair dance.

Messy took full advantage of that, and while she did, Ana talked to people. There was a steady stream of people who wanted to thank her, wish her well, or just shake her hand, and Ana exchanged a few words with every one of them. And to anyone who asked where she was going next, she told the story that she’d drilled into her Party: that they were heading to the high temple of the Wayfarer, where they’d be guaranteed to find allies to continue the fight against the Sentinel.

It was a completely reasonable plan. It was also a complete fabrication. What point was there to planning a destination? Ana expected she’d be going to the high temple at some point, but in the near future she and her Party had exactly one place they planned to go, and she had no idea when they’d be headed there, nor if they’d be going there directly or by some roundabout route to throw off any pursuers. How could she? None of them knew just how the political landscape looked, where would be safe, or where she could be most effective. Besides, if neither Ana nor anyone else knew where they were going there was no risk of someone letting something slip. Ana didn’t think mind reading was a thing—at least not in the Splinter—but for all that she knew someone might have some combination of Abilities, Enhancements, and Perks that let them infer a direction from whatever made up story they were told. It was better if not even she knew. Something would come up, or they’d decide once they knew the lay of the land. She’d take things as they came, and trust her Party members and the Wayfarer about where to go. That was good enough.

As the small hours approached, things began to wind down, as they must. The square needed to be clear by morning, after all. People had been drifting away all night as they coupled up or simply felt that they’d had enough fun for one night, and by the time Ana and Messy excused themselves—more like Petra shooing them off, really—it was just the innkeepers and a gratifyingly large group of volunteers for the cleanup left.

 They spent their last night in the Splinter in Messy’s narrow bed, on linens that they’d be leaving behind. It didn’t feel like the same place; the apartment was mostly bare, and without Messy’s decorations the sound wasn’t right. It bounced off the walls all wrong. But they had each other, so it still felt like home. And since Messy was coming with her, leaving the apartment and the Splinter behind didn’t feel as bad as the other homes Ana had left.

Messy took it harder. The alcohol she’d drunk broke down whatever barriers she’d put up, and she cried a lot, both before and after they made love. And she raged. She paced, and she hit things, and she cursed up a storm, all directed at the Sentinel and his followers for not just letting them live in peace. But all through it, as Ana comforted and coaxed and soothed, there was no uncertainty in her. No hesitation about going through with leaving. There was no sign that she’d be happier staying and was only coming along for Ana’s sake; Messy truly believed that she would be happiest by Ana’s side, wherever that was. She just wished it could be here, in this Splinter where it was always summer, which should have been simple and peaceful and which might one day return to that, but only if they left.

“It’s so fucking unfair,” Messy whispered hoarsely as she sat curled up in Ana’s lap.

“It is,” Ana agreed. She’d never believed in any kind of universal fairness anyway.

“We could have built a life here. Me taking over Master Renvi’s shop, you going out on Delves with Kaira and the guys. I’d join you sometimes. You could have your fighting classes. You’d be a pillar of the community in no time, even if none of this shit had ever happened.”

“I would’ve liked that.”

That damned unidentified voice chose that moment to return. You could have it, it whispered. You could have it all. Settle. Be happy. This is not your burden. Let it end.

“And instead…” Messy sighed, oblivious of the interruption.

Ana did her best to push the intrusive voice from her thoughts. “Yeah.”

“I love you, Angel. And I know how important all this is. I’m with you for as long as you’ll have me, blade, body, and soul. I just wish…”

“Yeah,” Ana agreed, pulling her closer. “I love you too, babe. And I’m so grateful that you’re willing to stay with me, because if you wouldn’t leave this place, I— I don’t think I could’ve gone, despite everything.”

“Of course you would have,” Messy said, looking up. Her eyes seemed to burn in the candlelight. “You have to. It all… everything depends on you.”

Ana shook her head. “I don’t know how important I am in the grand scheme of things. The Wayfarer has her Ascenders out there somewhere, too. But, yeah, she seems to have a lot of her hopes pinned on me.” And Ana was apparently important enough for the Sentinel to spend time and effort on, and for some other, unnamed deity to harass every so often. But that wasn’t important right now. What was important was Messy, and to be honest with her about how she felt. “I don’t think I could have left you,” Ana said, and if it was a confession of weakness, then so be it. With Messy, she could be weak. “You know. I’ve told you. I never… I’ve never been attached before. To anyone. Now I am, and the thought of leaving you, it’s… it would be like leaving my heart behind.”

“You’d be taking mine with you,” Messy whispered.

“So we’d both suffer,” Ana whispered back, kissing her gently. “I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Good thing I’m coming, then.” Messy’s voice turned husky as her hand stroked up the back of Ana’s neck, fingertips trailing through her short hair.

“A very good thing,” Ana agreed, closing her eyes and luxuriating in her love’s attention.

It was another long while before they got any sleep.