Starmind Chapter 59 (Patreon)

The next morning, after breakfast, we let Fever’s Crew go back home. We tried not to make it dramatic; I simply gave them ample warning that Temeri would be coming in to talk to them, and when she stood in the doorway she opened with, “I’ll keep this short. You’re free to return to your ship. I hope that you understand why we felt it necessary to confine you like this, and that there are no hard feelings.”

“Just like that?” Nahij the Diviner asked. “Not that we don’t appreciate it, but it seems rather sudden.”

“Just like that,” Temeri confirmed. “There are some things we’ll need to talk about once you’re back onboard, but we’re satisfied that your ship is safe for you to board and for us to remain in the vicinity of.”

“And what happened to make you so sure of that?” Liri asked. She’d been narrowing her eyes suspiciously at Temeri ever since the door opened, and even if the other three didn’t have any hard feelings, it sounded like she had enough for all four of them. I really hoped that Fever could change her mind, because I couldn’t imagine that finding her reactor gone would make her any friendlier.

“A couple of things, which we’ll discuss once you’ve returned to your ship,” Temeri replied in her best Captain Carlon voice. “Go on. Pack up your things. Star tells me that Fever has missed you terribly, and I can’t imagine you’re any less eager to be back home than it is to have you back onboard.”

“She’s not wrong,” Mel murmured in Liri’s ear, hugging her from behind. “Come. Let’s get home, and then we can talk about everything that’s happened.”

They gathered the few things they’d brought, rolled up their mattress, and manhandled everything back down the access tube. Even under lowered gravity the whole process was clumsy enough to convince me that I should find some way of extending the cargo lift to the new habitation deck. Then, without ceremony, they made their way to the cargo hold and crossed back over to Fever, with only Temeri to see them off.

“Have Fever contact Star once you’ve settled back in and are ready to talk,” Temeri told them as they were leaving. “Or just come over, and she’ll let us know. We all have things that need doing, but we’ll make time.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Nahij said. “You should hear from us within the hour.”

“I’ll look forward to it,” Temeri replied.

Then they left, and I began counting the seconds. I didn’t expect to count for long, and I was right; Fever was beyond eager to speak with its Crew again.

“You’re back!” it cheered over its speakers as soon as they reached the airlock. “How was it onboard Star? I know you were all fine because she told me, but how was it? Did you have fun?”

“Oh, it’s good to hear your voice again, Fever,” Nahij laughed. “As for how it was… comfortable, I’d say. Wouldn’t you agree, my loves?”

“Gods of the void, they have a damned pool,” Liri muttered.

“Think they’ll let us use it again?” Khani asked.

Mel smiled hopefully. “They’ve been friendly enough, if you ignore them locking us up for a couple of hours. I’m sure we could ask!”

Nahij hummed cheerfully. “Right. Though, I don’t think I’d say we had much fun. We did our best to relax, but were mostly all very worried about you, Fever.”

“That’s very considerate, but I was perfectly safe the whole time!” Fever replied. “They put me in Star’s cargo hold while she took care of our reactor, then brought me back late last night, their time. I’m better than ever!”

By then the airlock had long since cycled—their preferred air mixture was a little different from mine—and they were almost to their living quarters. “Better than ever? What, I’m not a good enough enchanter for you?” Mel asked, with soft laughter in his voice.

“Oh, well…” Fever said hesitantly, which made half of them pause in their step and almost caused a pileup in the short passage. Crystal Minds, no matter their personality, were not supposed to hesitate. They might understand and reply appropriately to a joke, or they might answer it literally, but they should never be unsure what to say. And Fever’s Crew caught on immediately.

“Fever,” Mel said, full of apprehension. “Run a diagnostic on your cognitive layers.”

Fever actually did. “Everything’s coming back clean,” it said, and I was sure that it was being entirely honest, because I couldn’t imagine it ever lying to its Crew. Then it paused for half a second, during which I packed in about an hour’s worth of reassurances, before it said, “But there’s something you need to know.”

Back onboard me, I told my Crew what was about to happen. Just in case.

No one watching could have missed the moment when Fever first spoke telepathically to its Crew. Liri jumped an inch. Mel goggled. Khani dropped his end of the mattress, covering his mouth with both hands and squatting on the floor. And Nahij, presumably the only one of them who’d ever spoken telepathically with anyone, raised her eyebrows.

I couldn’t hear what it told them. We’d talked a little about what it should say, but in the heat of the moment it wouldn’t surprise me if Fever went entirely off-script. It didn’t really matter. The reaction probably would have been the same whatever it said.

“What do you mean, you’re alive?” Liri gasped, looking at her hand where she’d pressed it against the wall. “What do you mean?”

“Nahij?” Mel asked, and Nahij closed her eyes, then nodded.

“There’s a mind,” the diviner said unsteadily. “All around us. One that I’ve never felt before. I thought what I felt onboard Star was an artefact of their masking ritual, but it… it might have been a mind, too.”

Did you tell them about me? I asked Fever.

Was I not supposed to?

After a moment’s consideration I said, No, I suppose it’s fine. They’re your Crew. It wouldn’t be right to keep secrets from them.

That’s what I thought! Fever exclaimed.

Khani looked at his fellow Crewmembers. “This is impossible. Right? It can’t possibly be true.” A few seconds later he said, “I don’t know. Maybe they somehow gave you false memories while they had you onboard. Mel, is that possible?”

“Not in the short time they had it,” Mel said. “And that wouldn’t explain the telepathy.”

“There’s a mind. There’s definitely a mind,” Nahij said with complete certainty. Then she laughed, smiled wide, and repeated, “There’s a mind! There’s an actual mind!”

“Fever’s alive,” Liri whispered, pressing her other hand against the metal, shoulder width from the first, then slowly leaning forward to rest her forehead between them. “You’re alive.”

Looks like Nahij and Liri are convinced! I cheered. And Mel looks like he only needs a moment. Any idea how we’ll convince Khani?

I wouldn’t worry, Fever replied easily. If Nahij and Mel are convinced, Khani won’t be far behind.

What about Liri?

What about Liri? Fever asked. She’s convinced already.

Yeah, but why doesn’t her opinion matter to Kahni?

It does! They’re the best of friends. But he’s not in love with her, so her opinion isn’t as important as Nahij or Mel’s, that’s all.

I gave that statement my full attention for almost a second, trying to make sense of it and fit it into the context of what I’d seen and heard. I came to a simple conclusion.

I don’t understand, I admitted. Khani is in love with both Nahij and Mel?

Yes, Fever replied.

Nahij called them all ‘my loves’ before. Does she love all of them?

She’s in love with all of them, yes.

Does it go both ways?

Oh, yes! Nahij’s wonderful.

Mel keeps hugging Liri, who seems to like that very much. Are they in love?

Very much so!

I’m confused, I concluded.

I don’t see why, Fever said, sounding a bit confused by my confusion. Khani, Nahij, and Mel are in love. So are Nahij, Mel, and Liri. And Liri and Khani love each other, but they’re not in love, just very good friends. Simple!

I gave that another moment’s thought, then asked, Are they all happy?

In general? They’re all very happy together, yes!

Okay. I’m still confused, but I understand happiness.

While Fever and I talked, it had been keeping up several parallel conversations with its Crew. Liri was crying softly and practically hugging the wall with joy, and Mel and Nahij were both reassuring Khani while at the same time talking to Fever. I’d been a little bit worried at first, but now the general mood among them seemed to be a little scared, but excited and happy.

Then Khani asked, “But… how?” and this, I thought, was something I should probably answer.

“Hi, everyone,” I said through Fever’s internal speakers, after getting its permission. “I think I’m in a better position to explain that. Um… not a good one, but better.”

“Star?” Nahij asked softly. “Is that you?”

“Yes! Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m used to talking to my own Crew, and it’s not like I ever need to announce myself or anything then. Yes, this is Star speaking.”

“But, again, how?” she asked. “How are you speaking onboard Fever? How— are you truly alive, like Fever says?”

“Yeah, I’m alive,” I replied sheepishly. “I felt really bad about keeping that from you. Sorry. And Khani, you asked how that happened. Or you asked how come Fever’s alive, but it really starts with me. So, you see… there was an accident. We were testing some very new, very complicated equipment, and it didn’t quite work the way it was supposed to, and now there’s a lot of really strange changes to my Core—my Matrix, that is—and, uh… it gave me a soul, somehow. Sorry, there’s a lot that isn’t really clear to me, and Harvin can only tell me that I have one. He can’t say how come.”

“And Fever?” Nahij asked patiently.

“Right! Yes, sorry. So, along with the whole getting a soul and being alive thing, I have a class, like all of you. And part of what that lets me do, or makes me do, really, since I have no control of it, is to turn other ships that aren’t me into more of me, which lets me control them like they were part of my body—this ship, the Distant Star, that is. That’s my body. Does that make sense? Anyway, I assimilate other ships when I touch them, and it’s completely automatic. And at least I think it’s the class doing it. It might just be me, but I’ve never not had the class so…

“Anyway, when we docked to help you, I started assimilating the Fever Dream. And I didn’t think much of it, since when I stop being in contact with anything, it stops being part of me. I figured the worst thing that could happen was that I’d see that something was terribly wrong with your ship—which it was, by the way. That reactor was absolutely, one hundred percent going to blow up someday. But that’s not what happened.”

“What happened to Fever?” Mel asked. He sounded very odd, like he both desperately wanted and didn’t want to hear the answer.

“I assimilated it,” I replied softly. “I assimilated its Matrix. And when I did, it went dormant for a bit. And without its help I couldn’t do anything about the reactor that was about to blow up, so we brought Fever onboard me and then I took care of the reactor myself. And then Fever woke up, and it was… like me.”

“Alive,” Liri whispered.

“Yeah,” I said. “With a soul and everything. I’m not sure how that happened. I think maybe I budded off a little bit of my own? Does that make sense at all?”

“None of this makes sense,” Khani said. “So sure. It’s the best explanation I’ve heard so far.”

“You’re not mad, are you?” I asked. “Please don’t be mad. I’m so happy to have someone like me to talk to, and I really had no control over the whole thing.”

“You made Fever come alive,” Liri said. There were tears in her eyes, and for a moment I feared that I’d hurt her terribly. Then she smiled, the first proper big, happy smile I’d seen on her, and she said, “Thank you. I don’t care how it happened. You made Fever come alive. Thank you.”

“You’re so very welcome, Liri,” I replied.

“Your Crew,” Nahij asked. “They all know?”

“Oh, yes. And let me tell you, they were pretty worried about me telling you all of this. But Fever deserves to be free, and you all deserve to know what happened, so… yeah. I really hate to do anything that makes them uncomfortable, but I had to tell you.”

“Thank you, Star,” Mel said. He was holding Liri close, stroking her head as she laughed and cried into his shoulder. “This is a lot to take in, and I think we all need to have a long talk… all five of us. Fever’s been our home and companion for so long. Now… now I guess it’s part of the family. We need to work out what that means. Could you— can you hear what goes on everywhere on the ship?”

“And see,” I confirmed. “And a bunch of other senses, too.”

“Could you give us some privacy, do you think?”

“I can actively not pay attention,” I replied. “It’s not quite the same as not seeing or anything, but it’s almost as good! And it’s the closest I can get without disconnecting entirely from Fever, which I can’t do since you don’t have a reactor anymore.”

“What do YOU MEAN—”

The rest of Liri’s cry was muffled as Mel pressed her tighter to his chest. “What do you mean, we don’t have a reactor anymore?” the enchanter asked, not at all much more calmly. “I thought you were going to fix it!”

“Or shut it down,” I corrected. “Or… um, Fever, I think it’s better if they hear this from you. I’m going to give you that privacy now.”

While Fever explained how their reactor physically wasn’t there anymore, I updated Temeri on the situation. She was helping Bekeri with constructing the Autolathe, so I waited until she wasn’t welding anything before saying, “So, they know about me and Fever…”

“Right.” Temeri sighed and put down her welder. “How did that go?”

“Captain?” Bekeri asked.

“Star’s just telling me how the Fever Dream’s— how Fever’s crew know everything,” she replied. “Star, you may as well speak to Bekeri as well. He’ll hear my half of the conversation anyway.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry,” I said to both of them. “So, they’re a little upset. Not about Fever. They’re all very happy about Fever! But the news about their reactor isn’t going over so well.”

Temeri snorted softly. “I imagine not. I can’t imagine how I’d react if someone told me that my— that your reactor was gone. Or the drive. Gods beyond, I think I’d be sick!”

“It’s terrible, it really is,” I agreed. “I feel awful for  them. For Fever most of all.”

“I know, Star. We’ll… get them a replacement, I suppose. Gods only know how. Artificer Bekeri, any ideas off the top of your head?”

“There was that derelict ship in Sophia’s docking bay,” he suggested. “Could that work? Star?”

What a great idea! I gave it my full attention for a few seconds then said, “Maybe! It’s still there, since it would’ve been too difficult and dangerous for Sophia to disassemble or move with just the golems. It’s bigger and more powerful than what Fever used to have, but that shouldn’t be a problem. It can just expand its engineering compartment!”

“Well, there’s a possibility, then!” Bekeri said, smiling wide. “Getting it onboard might prove a challenge, but I’m sure that between the lot of us, we’ll figure it out.”

Temeri nodded. “Excellent. We’ll inform Fever’s crew as soon as they’re ready to talk. Any idea when that might be, Star?”

I paid attention to Fever’s interior for a moment, and quickly concluded that they were all very busy. Liri was stomping around the engineering compartment with Mel trying to soothe her, and Khani and Nahij were… occupied. “It might be a little while,” I told Temeri. “I’m sure Fever will let me know.”

“In that case, Captain, may I suggest we get back to work?” Bekeri asked. “This wonderful machine won’t build itself, and we’re getting tantalizingly close!”

“As you say, Artificer,” Temeri replied, picking up the welding wand and a small, multifaceted component whose function I couldn’t even guess at. “This… thing next?”

“The phase harmonizer next, yes,” Bekeri said, and I left them to it.

Simeon’s take on Fever’s Crew’s reaction was simple. “They love their ship,” he said. “It’s been their home for years, and Fever’s always been there for them. Of course they’re overjoyed to learn that it’s come alive. And of course they’re dismayed to learn that their reactor’s gone. It’s like someone tore their friend’s heart out. And not only that, but now they’re entirely dependent on us, despite having their ship back. They’re a voidship that can’t go anywhere. It’s tragic, and they have to live it.”

“Yeah,” I agreed sadly. “We’re just going to have to make them feel welcome, and try to give them some hope, won’t we?”

Simeon smiled warmly, though he was still looking down at the little sprout he’d been fiddling with the whole time, so it was like he was smiling at it for growing so well. “You’re absolutely right, Star,” he said. “But that’ll have to wait until they’re ready. For now, could you help me figure out why this thing is still a sprout when it should be a foot tall?”

The sprout apparently wasn’t growing so well. I immediately got to helping him, which meant that he explained his theories and ideas to me, and I Mm-hmmed and Uh-huhed without understanding a word he said. I loved every second of it.