AnimeCon Harem Bonus: AMA Panel (Patreon)

Peccant asks:

One-Armed Future Kelly, you doing alright?

   “‘One-armed future Kelly,’ huh?” The alternate Kelly let out a mirthful laugh. “That’s a bit of a mouthful. I go by Kellzee now, actually. Kinda like ‘Kenzie,’ if you’re cursed enough to know any McKenzies. Zee, as in I’m from a zombie timeline. I’m... well, thanks for asking. Bit surprised any of you remembered me, to be honest. Let’s see…”

   Kellzee drums the fingertips of her remaining hand on the tabletop for a moment as she gathers her thoughts.

   “Well, we were a bad end timeline, that was a bit of a tough break. We held out for a damned long time, but the thing is—zombies are persistence predators. Once some find out where you are, they’re gonna be actively trying to get at you, twenty-four-seven, ‘til they succeed, or ‘til you lop their heads off. Which is tough, ‘cause there’s always a fuckin’ shit ton of them, and they’re everywhere. As far as us survivors go… well, living beings, we’ve gotta rest and sleep and all that, and eventually, no matter what, we do die and wind up turning into Zeds.

   “We put up a hell of a fight, ‘we’ as in survivors from our timeline, but soon as it started spreading, it was only a matter of time. Birth rates plummeted, death rates skyrocketed, and the more skewed that ratio got—well, yeah. Tips past this balance point and throws the whole board. You get the picture. In any case though, we were part of a magical harem. Of course we were gonna be mostly fine.”

   She laughs again, tucking a long strand of red hair behind one ear.

   “As soon as [redacted story spoiler] happened…? Huh. That was weird. Well, instead of [redacted], we wound up transmigrating back into one of the prime timelines. Alright, shit, why’s that bleeped out? Do they not know about all that yet? Oh, huh. Sorry. What can I even say, then?”

   Future Kelly looks off to the side, listening to a voice in her earpiece for a moment, before smirking and shaking her head.

   “Okay, sure. Let’s see… me and my lovelies, we’re not in the zombie timeline anymore, obviously. That whole branch got fucked, probably nothing alive left there at all. We [redacted], jumped ship and live in one of the normie timelines now. Live off-grid, way out in the woods past Aunt Mattie’s place—because, obviously, it’s a prime timeline that already has it’s own original versions of us. Hence me going by Kellzee, hah. So there’s me, Stephie Zee, Emma Zee, and Big Zee—our Brian. We’re our own little family. Stephie Zee keeps us together, keeps us strong. Emma Zee got bitten way back when, so she’s… well she’s not dead, but calling her alive would be a huge stretch. Oh, she’s not decomposing, or gross, or anything. Well, not too gross, we did sew her back together and get her all fixed up. When you consider her power is [redacted] it’s honestly not even that big of a—what, that’s bleeped, too? Well, whatever. Alright.

   “Um… what can I say?” Kellzee laughed. “Big Zee has a job, sorta. He works about half of the prime Brian’s shifts at the warehouse. They’re nearly identical, so no one can tell the difference, there. Gives Prime B more time with his honeys, gives us some extra income for our necessities. We’re technically like, four years older than the prime versions of us here, but they’re super cool and let us borrow their IDs and all that in those rare cases we need documentation for something. Stephie Zee’s huge into growing us our own food and composting and all that—I’m her number one assistant! Emma Zee is basically a monster now, so she keeps [redacted redacted redacted] from snooping around the—what, seriously? I can’t talk about [redacted]?! Why the fuck not? You realize some future Kelly or another’s gonna clue them in on it anyways, right? Pssh, alright. Whatever. Your funeral.

   “We meet up with the prime harem and have a big party a couple times a year,” Kellzee revealed with a grin. “They’re all real nice. Even younger me, which is—well Stephie Zee has me playing nice with her. Even if the prime Kelly is all edgy and cringe and melodramatic about things. Me? I’m way past all that. And, yeah, I know what you’re thinking, but no—no wakin’ up between two Stephies, and no fun times gettin’ double-teamed by two Brians. Without their Christine’s [redacted] we actually can’t even interact at all without like, merging or fusing together or whatever.”

   “Oh! Yeah, our Christine didn’t make it, the one from our timeline,” Kellzee remembers with a wince. “Never found our Angela either, sooo—pretty sure she must’ve died. We lost our Rebecca. She sacrificed herself so that the rest of us could get out of this pretty impossible situation with this massive horde of Zeds out during our big interstate escape. It’s… I dunno. She’s maybe gone for good, and maybe not—Emma Zee and Emily are always coming up with crackpot ideas ‘bout how we can get her back someday. Just, I don’t know. In the months after it happened, we were all pretty devastated, but now we’re here and there’s a prime Rebecca here, so… yeah. I know that sounds bad, but. It’s a weird situation, pscyhologically? I guess. We lost her, but she’s not completely gone. That’s true for just about everything. Everyone.”

   “That’s not to say it’s all sunshine and rainbows,” Kelly chuckled. “Like—I mean, we’re guests in this timeline. We’re here basically because the original group that already belongs here allow us to be. And, honestly? Most of that might’ve been their Stephanie putting her foot down. Which—don’t get me wrong, even kinda just being out here in the woods away from society and living like... I don’t know, fucked up dopplegangers? Still way fuckin’ better than the Zee timeline was. In every way. It’s peaceful out here. Quiet. Safe. The worst thing that comes our way is just [redacted redacted], and Emma Zee can rip them limb from limb and bury the parts before Stephie Zee and I even come running.”

     *     *     *

farrell1701 asks:

For all the characters (even Chloe): What is the one most surprising thing you learned about yourself in the story so far?

   “Everything!” Stephanie surprised her friends by jumping to be the first to answer this one. “Just, everything! I um, the way that I thought about myself before, my expectations, my thoughts on where the future would lead for me, for my life—all of it was wrong. I-I think I was selling myself short. I didn’t know any better. Now, I do. Everything’s possible, now.”

   “Likewise, I… guess I learned that my life before wasn’t really going anywhere good,” Kelly agreed, slipping her arm around Stephanie’s shoulder as she held her own microphone close. “I mean, I knew that, kinda, but before it was just a sort of… vague cynicism, I guess. I accepted it. Life’s just shitty and that’s that, right? It’s different when people actually care to stop and point out a different path, when you have people real stubborn about moving you off of that path and onto a better one.”

   “I learned I… might be a little into girls!” Emily exclaimed in wide-eyed surprise. “Which is like. Crazy.”

   “Emily learned she’s really into big tiddies,” Kelly added.

   “I learned… man, where to even start?” Brian let out a nervous laugh. “There’s been a lot to learn this weekend. It’s like my life, at it’s core, has mainly been about compromise. Trying to mediate my wants and needs with the wants and needs of those around me. I think what I’ve learned is… that while compromise is essential in a relationship, that it can’t be just one partner that’s bearing all the compromises, or— yeah, because then it’s not really compromise anymore. So, I guess I’m just seeing a lot of aspects I took for granted in a new light.

   “You could say I’m trying to learn to be selfish, I guess? Seems awful to put it that way, but it’s something I really struggle with. If compromise is give and take, I know how to give, but learning how to take, when it’s okay to take, how much I can ask for, and, honestly, how much I need from the other partner—or partners—in a relationship. Suppressing my own needs for all my childhood and then my first serious relationship, it… I guess I can admit that it seriously affected my mental health.

     *     *     *

Michael Jelley asks:

Rebecca, as grounded as you are, do you anticipate being able to let go enough to be with Brian?

   “I… what?” Rebecca quirked a lip in amusement. “You say able to let go, but let go of what? My reservations? Am I considered grounded because I want to take things slow and evaluate more of the situation?”

   “Whoa there, you got real defensive all the sudden,” Emily snorted. “It’s pretty sus, if you ask me.”

   “Sus!” Stephanie chimed in. She then let out a giggle and hid her face in her hands when everyone else at the table turned to look at her. “It’s—well it is sus!”

   “I’m not sus, all of you are sus!” Rebecca playfully retorted. “But, as to the question— do I anticipate things? Sure, okay. Does anticipating potential outcomes mean I’m going to let go of my reservations prematurely? No! I’m a good girl, and I’m going to make sure everyone is safe and okay with everything before I enter into anything with everyone. I’m a supporting character in this narrative, and my raison d’etra is to support my friends to my utmost ability, because I love them all to death and want the best for everyone. Yes, even you, Chloe.”

   “You are so not just a supporting character,” Emily blew a raspberry at her friend. “You got a color and power already, you’re totes a main girl.”

   “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me filling the role of a supporting character right now,” Rebecca sniffed in mock indifference, pointing her nose up into the air. “Humph! I’m happy to concede the bigger stage for now so that all of you can fulfill your dreams and have an amazing weekend.”

     *     *     *

Don Lubsen asks:

For all the characters even the bonus chapter characters (Including the hero of the story Foxxy): What would be your ideal date (evening out or in)?

     *     *     *

Too Much Sanity May Be Madness asks:

Rebecca: Apropos of nothing, how would you feel about going to a RenFaire with Brian and his harem?

   “Apropos, apropos…” Rebecca pursed her lips into a cute frown. “What does ‘apropos’ mean, again? I think I can answer regardless—I would love to go to a renaissance festival with everyone. Because, they’re fun!”

     *     *     *

Stultus asks:

Every character: go to meal at mcdonalds?

   “Sure,” Brian gives a thumbs up. “That’s an invitation, right? To take us out to eat at some restaurant?”

     *     *     *

Josh Betts asks:

Every harem member(including rebecca) what is your favorite sexaul position

   “I don’t want one position, I want all positions!” Emily joked, slapping a palm down against the table. “It’s a Sixth Element reference, geez.”

   “Right, but—what’s your serious answer?” Kelly rolled her eyes in exasperation.

   “On top, obviously,” Emily snorted. “I’ve had sex exactly once, and it was in that position, with me on top. Right? If I said anything besides that it’d be bullshit, so… yeah. That’s the only answer I got.”

   “Brian went down on you,” Kelly pointed out. “That’s—”

   “Ehh,” Emily quirked her lip into a frown. “That was amazeballs an’ everything, but that’s more like, one of the bases than it is like a full home run, right? Can it count?”

   “I’ll allow it,” Brian leaned into the microphone to say with a smirk. “Count anything you want.”

   “Thennnn, no, still me on top,” Emily decided, her face going red. “For now.”

   “For me? On my back, with my ankles up on his shoulders,” Kelly answered in a candid manner. “Everything else is great, but that one’s the best—hits deepest. Stephanie?”

   “Ummm,” Stephanie looked embarrassed. “I’m like Emily, in that I… I haven’t done it in many positions.”

   “Yet,” Emily added.

   “Yet,” Stephanie agreed with a grin. “But, I think… when we can be facing each other and doing that. I, uh, the feelings are great but being able to see his face, and um. Like, kiss and sort of… connect? While we’re doing it. That makes everything extra special and magical to me.”

   “Brian?” Kelly prompted.

   “Phew,” Brian let out a slow breath. “That’s tough. I’ve had a lot of sex, and—”

   “Yeah not to BRAG, but I’ve had a lot of sex—” Emily teased in a gruff imitation of Brian’s voice.

   “I mean—hah—I’ve had a lot of sex, both good and bad,” Brian laughed, waving off Emily’s remark. “It’s not really about positions, to me. Like, good sex should last a while and you should be going through a couple positions each time, I figure. If you’re doing it right.”

   “Yeah, sure, but what’s your favorite,” Kelly nudged him.

   “Uhhh, okay, my favorite,” Brian took a moment to think. “Then, I guess my answer would be—me in a sitting position, girl straddling my lap. Like, facing me. That’s the most, I don’t know, intimate. We’re holding each other then, we can look into each other’s eyes or kiss, it’s—I don’t know. Really great.”

   “That’s, uh…” Emily exchanged glances with Stephanie and Kelly. “Which one of us had that one?”

   “Not me,” Kelly shrugged. “Besides the one I answered, he was mostly the whole way laid down when I was on top.”

   “I-I don’t think that one’s me, either,” Stephanie said after a moment’s thought, shaking her head. “It does sound really nice, though!”

   “Definitely not me,” Emily pouted. “If—”

   “Wait, no, that was you, kinda,” Kelly interjected. “We had you straddling Brian that way like, right before we first had you sliding down on him. Right?”

   “No,” Emily scoffed. “He wasn’t sitting up completely then. Not completely.”

   “It was close enough to count,” Kelly argued. “He was kinda up, and you facing each other an’ all.”

   “I-I was straddling him that way for, um, for one of the dares,” Stephanie admitted. “But, it wasn’t— we weren’t, it wasn’t sex. It was just… we just hugged. But the position was the right one. Does it… does it count?”

   “Not as a sex position, no,” Kelly shook her head. “But if we can just—”

   “Uhhh, anyways,” Brian cut them off. “Why don’t we keep the panel moving? Rebecca?”

   “Reverse cowgirl!” Rebecca answered with a sleepy smile.

   “Reverse, why reverse?” Emily asked, her brows furrowing. “Hey, wait—have you even, uh, been with a guy?”

   “I am not a virgin,” Rebecca admitted. “And, reverse because—well, because it feels the best. There isn’t really any other reason.”

   “Oh,” Emily blinked. “Huh.”

   “Chloe?” Rebecca prompted.

   “Sitting on Brian’s face,” Chloe smirked. “Knowing that I’m going to get off, and that he won’t be. That’s the best position there is, and anyone who says otherwise is just lying to themselves. I like shifting my weight and grinding on his face smashing in so that I know his nose hurts—and when he tries to adjust the way I’m sitting on him so that he’s not as uncomfortable, I slap his fucking hands away and tell him not to fucking touch me. That’s the best.”

   Silence pervaded the table for a moment before Stephanie rose out of her chair.

   “You’re—you’re really just the worst!” Stephanie accused. “How can you even—”

   “Fucking piece of shit,” Emily swore, leaning forward so that she could glare past the others at Chloe. “Well, I hope you’re happy just remembering it, ‘cause you’re never ever gonna be able to do anything with Brian again. Ever.”

   “As if I’d even want to,” Chloe scoffed. “It’s not exactly like I’m missing out.”

   “Says the girl following after him to AnimeCon,” Kelly arched an eyebrow. “Filling her whole weekend with petty-bitch schemes and wishful thinking and getting her shit pushed in at every turn.”

   “Oh right, I forgot, everything has to be about all of you twerps,” Chloe rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”

   “I’m callin’ it,” Kelly laughed, holding up a hand to forestall Emily’s blustering rebuttal. “Chloe’s real favorite position has to be anal punishment or pain play or something with extreme insertions. She’ll only really get off when she’s ass-fucked, I’ll bet. That’s her thing, I can tell. Her neurosis is exactly that kind of spoiled-bitch daddy issues little princess.”

   “Wow, projecting much?” Chloe spat.

   “Nah,” Kelly shrugged. “The extreme nasty stuff’s for freaks like you with real repressed sexualities. I’m pretty much the other way around—whips and chains are nice, but right now it’s the kisses and tender affection kinda things that really excite me.”

   “Yeah, barf,” Chloe regarded the rest of the panel with a look of revulsion.

   “Okie-dokie, well anyways,” Rebecca cleared her throat. “Moving on to the next question, please!”

     *     *     *

Eroyla Drago asks:

Are you gonna continue with these characters in a new story or is this the end of their story?

   “There is a new story in the works, called Ren Fair,” Don Lubsen calls over. “Set twoish year into the future with the same character set, and new people.”

   “Well…” Brian chuckled, not having expected one of the audience to answer before they got a chance to. “Basically, yeah. What he said.”

   “There’s gonna be some time skips,” Emily added. “Like, the whole AnimeCon thing so far covers like, every second almost. But, between AnimeCon and Renfaire Fantasy there’s gonna be some sorta slice of life stuff separated by timeskips.”

   “A good deal of our Friday at the convention had timeskips!” Stephanie corrected.

   “Okay, yeah sure, but from everything at like, that sit-down we had with our first talk onwards was covered in super in-depth detail,” Kelly pointed out. “Like, full on multiple POV rotation. Takes a ton of thought to get all that down right.”

     *     *     *

Steven Howell asks:

Whats everyones favorite horror movie??

     *     *     *

Curt J Thomas asks:

For all “canon” characters (no characters from bonus chapters): What is your favorite type of music and/or musical group/band/person?

     *     *    *

Kirrocen asks:

For Emily: If Brian were a woman, should he have smaller or larger breasts than yours?

Also: If you and Brian swapped bodies, what would you want him to do with your body? What would you do with his?

   “Larger breasts,” Emily answered with a serious face. “He’d definitely have larger breasts. If we swapped bodies, we would play pranks on people with it. If we ever— no, when we’re finally able to swap bodies, I’m going to hatefuck Chloe.”

   “Err, no she wouldn’t,” Brian spoke up with an embarrassed look. “I wouldn’t let her do anything like that.”

   “That’s— Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Chloe looked aghast. “That’s fucking sick. You’re actually mentally disturbed.”

     *     *     *

Alex PvS asks:

Is the series ending after this???

   “Nope, another story with the same characters and new ones set at a Ren Fair,” Don Lubsen answers.

   “Uhh, yeah,” Brian nods. “Again, what he said. I think that kinda thing gets asked semi-frequently on the discord, and FortySixtyFour’s usually pretty honest about it. Just, I guess you gotta watch—if you actually ask for spoilers, odds are pretty high he’s just gonna give you troll answers to mess with you.”

   “Yeah, he does that,” Emily smirked.

     *     *     *

Brandon Gurley asks:

For Chloe: You are obviously obsessed with Brian. When your plans fail to come to fruition, will you be able to move forward and accept a place in Brian’s Harem, even if that means that you will be dominated, or are you too self absorbed in your own delusions to admit the truth?

   “No,” Chloe answered with a scowl, crossing her arms. “Next question.”

     *     *     *

James Miller asks:

Everyone. Did Han shoot first?  Who wins these matchups, Goku or Saitama?  Harry Potter or Aang? Batman or Chuck Norris?

   “Uhhhh,” Emily made a face and shared looks of confusion with those sitting at her table for a moment. “That was a bunch of pop culture words, I guess? If those are specific references to things in your universe, we won’t even get them without like, a ton of translating it into the pop culture stuff that makes sense to us. We’re all in a different timeline than yours, so… uhh yeah.”

   “From what I understand,” Brian elaborated, “anything too specific, as in ‘hey don’t use that, it’s copyrighted or owned by so and so,’ is just magically gonna be different between our reality and yours. What a coincidence! Hah ha.”

   “Pfft,” Stephanie laughed. “I… I don’t think it’s a coincidence!”

   “It’s referred to as bland naming,” Rebecca explained with a wistful smile. “A play on ‘brand naming.’ Part of why our world doesn’t use the same anime titles and character names that you might recognize from yours is copyright, but I think the biggest reason is reader bias. Things needed to be familiar enough for readers to recognize things as vague proxies, but we didn’t want there to be any exact specifics readers would enter into the story already liking or disliking. Think of it as… a clean slate! Sort of.”

     *     *     *

HAPrime asks:

For Emily: You know your mom was submissive from what your sister Samantha told you about the picture of your mother and her sister in a BDSM relationship with your father. Do you feel that submissive streak in you is a family trait?

    “I… actually do not know that,” Emily tilted her head and offered a look of confusion. “BDSM? Submissive? Nah, I don’t remember anything like that. Sammie just said they were in a relationship and like, hinted that it was a threesomes kinda… mutual sharing kinda thing. Okay, I guess it was more than hinted, she basically said that it was. Her words were, uh, he was goin’ around with a girl on each arm, or something like that. I don’t know nothin’ about them getting into BDSM stuff. Sorry.”

     *     *     *

Tom Zerek asks:

Megan: Who is the better waifu—Annie Weathers or Dot Bishop?

   “Annie Weathers, no contest,” Megan answered with confidence.

   “As mother characters go, she’s the far more compelling one. She’s imperfect and has her own vulnerabilities, but she’s also defined by her drive for the success of her family and it’s obvious making a difference for her students is super important to her. While Mrs. Bishop is great, she wasn’t given any really outstanding character moments like Annie’s ultimatum for Carl. Mrs. Weather’s actions shaped Carl, and his character in turn shapes hers, it’s this full-on kickass dynamic at play that’s fascinating to see. By comparison, Dot Bishop just hasn’t been given powerful moments like that just yet.”

     *     *     *

Kirrocen asks:

For Brian: Assuming Rebecca is correct and the “harem” surrounding you is in full control of their faculties (if a bit excessively horny at times), if Chloe later approached and sincerely apologized, both to you personally and the group as a whole, would you believe this as evidence for or against Rebecca’s claim?

In addition, assuming you believe Rebecca’s claim, how do you foresee this group developing in the future? If you had children with more than one partner, would you raise them together or place them in separate households (Stephanie-Kelly, as a hypothetical).

   “Hmmm…” Brian paused with a frown, mouthing some of the words of the question back to himself as if trying to figure them out. “Uhh. Well... huh. If Chloe later approached and sincerely apologized. That’s a… well, that’s a hell of a ‘what if,’ ha hah. I’m honestly having trouble like, simulating that in my mind without errors popping up. It’s hard to wrap my head around. Chloe can be sincere, and Chloe can apologize, but some things— some things just naturally don’t go together. I guess. I don’t know. Maybe a part of this is me, uh, being in the wrong mental place to really field this question right now.

   “I can’t picture her sincerely apologizing. When you even say ‘sincerely apologize’ I see it happening but immediately assume it’s actually some sort of… hell, I don’t know. Like, something’s going on and she just wants to seem sincere, but she’s really not and… I just don’t trust it. I wouldn’t trust it. I know that isn’t fair of me, I fully recognize that there’s this… this bias in me right now. But, it’s still my honest answer. I think a lot of people, if they’d been through some of the things I had with her, I think they’d say the same thing.

   “As for the rest of your question there…” Brian blew out a long breath and ran his hands through his hair. “Whew, geez. I, uh, I try not to ever make any assumptions about what the magic stuff means or what’s really going on. When consent’s a possible issue there isn’t room for me to be going around making assumptions, and the onus is on me to question things. To make sure. You know? I just, it’s not insecurity, exactly, but it’s like there’s two sides to this, and on the one it’s this amazing unbelievable thing and it’s full of love and everyone healing and being better with each other—greater than the sum of our parts. But, then, on this other side—what if the love isn’t real, what if the feelings are forced, what if— and it just fills me with dread in a way I can’t even begin to convey. Heaven and hell, with me trying to figure out what’s what.

   “And, babies?” Brian let out a nervous laugh. “Long term relationship planning? I’m not gonna lie, it scares the shit out of me. Because—not because I don’t love them, each of them, but because this is like, day two of the most complex relationship I’ve ever been a part of. I want to make this work, and I think we’ll all contribute towards how we figure out how to make it work... but, right now? I, uh, it’s two days in, and I don’t have that kind of long-term expectations. That’s not to say I think it’s all going to fall apart before then or anything, just—this is a very new thing to me, and in the very few moments I’ve had to where I can stop and think a little farther ahead it’s very… nebulous. Like, I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know what to expect, so right now I’m taking things as they go and trying to maintain a very cautious sense of optimism.

   “I’m, uhhhh… look, I’m sorry I don’t have better answers for you. If you were to catch me in like, a week or two from now when my head stops spinning I’ll have much better answers for you. I hope. Right now, things are still coming at me hard and fast, and I’m just trying not to fuck up.”

   “To um, to clarify,” Stephanie grabbed at the microphone in front of her in a fluster. “Brian’s not, he’s not fucking anything up, and we don’t need to rush anything more than we already are.”

   “Yeah— I mean, it’s really Steph’s harem anyways, right?” Kelly smirked.

   “It’s—it’s not really even a harem,” Stephanie smiled. “It’s… we’re just a group of people, and we’re in love. It doesn’t have to, um, revolve around any one of us.”

   “But, if it did— it’d be you,” Kelly proposed. “You’re the one who asked Brian out, then wanted me to be part of it.”

   “Objection!” Emily slapped a hand down on the table. “I got roped in via Brian, not Stephanie. Clearly Brian is like, central to this.”

   “Typical Brian bias again from the braindead Brian fan,” Kelly rolled her eyes before turning to Brian and giving him a wink. “Just kiddin’, Babe. Muah.”

   “Also!” Emily wasn’t done yet. “Brian’s a guy—the rest of us are girls. So, he’s obviously the king of this here little harem. Even when you weigh harem tropes against reverse harem tropes, the gender makeup indicates—”

   “Disgusting,” Chloe shook her head in complete revulsion. “Sexist and just— completely disgusting.”

   “I, uh, I think we’re straying away from the questions that were asked for this one anyways,” Brian said. “I think ultimately, we’re a very close group, and we don’t have anyone that’s more central to this than anyone else, or a harem king, or—”

   “Brian is king!” Emily argued. “Long live the king! Behead those who insult Brian!”

   “I didn't know we had a king,” Rebecca remarked with a sleepy smile. “I thought we were an autonomous collective!”

   “You're fooling yourself!” Jordyn chimed in with an enormous grin. “We're living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes—”

   “Next question, please!” Brian called.

     *     *     *

Jeanie6754 asks:

What is Brian's favorite type of flower?

   “Brian’s favorite flower is pink, has petals, and is between our legs,” Kelly leaned in to speak into the microphone. “Brian’s favorite flower is pussy.”

   “Yep, it’s pussy,” Emily agreed, watching in amusement as Stephanie swatted Kelly and pulled her back from the microphone. “Definitely.”

   “You guys!” Stephanie cried in exasperation.

   “Ahem. Hah,” Brian laughed. “The real answer, well, there’s a couple real answers. Emily and I sussed this one out way back in high school, my answer’s usually atropa belladonna—deadly nightshade. On sheer cool factor alone, what can compete with that? It’s just, you know. Badass. However, recognizing that flowers are appreciated for all kinds of different reasons, I’ll give you more answers.

   “Now as far as scents go, my favorite flower is sweet pea,” Brian admitted with a slight smile. “Right at turning eighteen my good friend Mike and his aunt— Aunt Mattie— took me in and gave me a place to stay with them. The room was… rustic, and I’m not gonna say anything bad about it, but it also took some cleaning and I had to remove some mold and fix some water damage and in the end I wanted to have some candles in there to burn that smelled nice. What we actually wound up picking out were scented wax melts to go with this little wax melt burner thing Tanya gave me.”

   “I was there on that shopping trip,” Emily leans forward to interject. “My votes were all for was melts that were like, food smells, hah. Brownie batter, birthday cupcake. Fresh vanilla cookies—”

   “Yeah I definitely didn’t want to be sitting up there in my room just getting more and more hungry every minute, hah ha,” Brian laughed. “I went with sweet pea. It’s a good smell, one of the ones I don’t think I ever really get tired of. Just imagining it makes me think of sunlight streaming in through the window of that room. Seeing the dust motes kind of lazily dance in the air. Picturing the old wood panel walls, feeling—I don’t know how to describe it. Free. Having a place of my own that was really my own for the first time was a huge thing for me, and a part of it will always be the smell of sweet pea.

   “Now visually, my flower of choice is something way entirely different,” Brian continued. “Visually, and don’t knock my answer just ‘cause it’s not a stereotypical big showy colorful flower— my favorite is baby’s breath. Pull it up on your phone—tiny little white flowers, it’s usually gathered up in like, hundreds of them. Very aesthetic. Maybe more of a complimentary flower than most other first picks you think of… but, I don’t know. It suits me. It goes well with so many other things. It’s nice, and, uh… I like it. Don’t know what else to say there, but hopefully my answers were okay.”

     *     *     *

HAPrime asks:

For Mrs Rivera: You have known that your daughter has had a crush on Brian for a long time, and the Brian was hurting from some sort of abuse. Why did you not act more forcefully to intervene in either situation?

   “Hmm, didn’t I?” Mrs. Rivera arched an eyebrow, showing a bemused expression. “Also, what’s with that ‘either situation?’ Examining one of your so-called ‘situations’—my daughter having a crush on Brian, why would I forcefully intervene? How is it a situation for me to be meddling much in? Forming your first strong feelings of attraction and affection for someone is a perfectly normal part of growing up, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Okay, sure, I meddled a little, but that touches a bit more on the depth of the other problem you’ve presented.

   “Brian hurting from abuse,” Mrs. Rivera let out a slow sigh. “Adolescent trauma is something I have to bear with a lot more often than you’d think, both as a teacher and… well it’s complicated. Where do I draw the line—when do I intervene, and when do I hold my tongue? Troubled households have become alarmingly common, and loveless families are a symptom I see often among the wealthier ones that send their children to schools like Truliet. These kids are starved for love, they’re stretched thin by their parent’s expectations, sometimes to the point of tearing themselves apart, and some of them are so desperate for attention that they’ll do anything they can to get it.

   “That doesn’t answer your question, however—it simply sets the scene. As an actor apparent on this stage, consider my position. Of course my heart aches for each of them. I’m not just a teacher, I’m a mother. Naturally I want to give them all the love they’re deprived of, to swoop in like a heroine and right these obvious wrongs. But, can I?

   “This is where it starts getting complicated,” Mrs. Rivera said, displaying a bittersweet smile. “Due to some improbable circumstances throughout my life that really strain belief, I’m a very, very attractive woman, and I have an... elevated position of importance in the context of situations like that because of certain unexplainable… no, fuck it, you know what? I’m just going to come out and call it magic. I can do that at this panel, right? This is something of a meta narrative? The kiddie gloves can come off?

   “So, magic. In the past, when I’ve involved myself in the affairs of my students—in a strictly professional capacity—be they teenage boy or teenage girl, they develop an unhealthy fixation on me. Whether or not they even have any way of knowing that I’ve helped them. Because my existence is weighted differently, due to a metric goddamn fuckton of magic shenanigans involving yours truly over the years, people I reach out to get pulled into narratives. Logic and reason have nothing to do with it. Coincidences start happening, probability and common sense go the window, and then disentangling their individual lives from mine when reality is set to rom com turns into a huge ordeal.

   “Everyone at some point in their lives idly wishes their life had more significance, that they could be involved in everything important going on like they have a leading role—I’m here to tell you that once that ‘protagonist’ crown falls onto your brow... it doesn’t come off again so easily. Hell, I’ve been trying to pass this ‘honor’ on to my daughters for years, and I don’t think anything started to take until just a few days ago.”

   “I do act regardless, when things are bad enough. Student might be getting molested by her step-dad, I immediately make phone calls. Kid comes in with bruises and a bogus story ‘bout how he got them—yes, I can tell when they’re lying—I do have someone I trust that looks into it. Brian’s case? It was one of the most complicated ones yet. From what I can infer, his dad would smack him around now and then... but the part that was actually slowly killing him was that they just didn’t really care much about him. That’s… sadly how some homes are. Brian, he needed love. I couldn’t risk giving it to him directly without messing up his life, so what I did… was help nudge along Emily into realizing her feelings here and there. Created opportunities for them to spend time with each other, and encouraged that. Brian’s a good kid, and there was all sorts of fertile ground for them to develop feelings for each other.

   “In conclusion—I did intervene in both cases, but not altogether too forcefully,” Mrs. Rivera chuckled. “I thought, hey. I can just throw Emily at the problem, and that also addresses some of her problems, which then takes care of some of my problems, kills three birds with one idiot daughter.”

     *     *     *

Kirrocen asks:

For Kelly: given your current knowledge of Emily’s personality, how comfortable are you with the idea of her reproducing with someone such as Brian? If she were to ask for assistance in child-rearing, what kind would you provide? If she complained, but did not ask for assistance, would you volunteer?

The magic of the harem charm is not fully understood. If, by some means, it allowed you and Stephanie to procreate independently of Brian, would you take advantage of this function (assuming Stephanie consented)?

   “How comfortable am I with Emily and Brian reproducing what, memes?” Kelly laughed. “Nervous small talk that never gets them anywhere? Endless banter? I sure as hell hope you don’t mean making babies.”

   “Har har,” Emily scoffed. “Kelly just doesn’t appreciate settin’ the mood and gettin’ into the right—”

   “Would you two shut up and fuck, already?” Kelly interrupted. “Come on. Show of hands, audience—how many times did you you ask yourself that while watching or reading or however the fuck you all followed all this that’s been going on? Uh-huh, yeah, yeah— I’m seein’ a lot of hands, Emily.”

   “Kelly, dear,” Rebecca picked up her microphone. “I think you might be trying to deflect the question a little bit! If you’re not comfortable answering properly, it’s okay for you to say so without being a big meanie to Emily! We’re all friends, here.”

   “Yeah! So there!” Emily stuck her tongue out. “Nyaaaah.”

   “Emily—you sit down too, please,” Rebecca smiled. “I have a microphone, and I’m full of embarrassing stories about you! Don’t tempt me!”

   “The question was…” Stephanie put her hand on Kelly’s arm as she helped bring them back on topic. “If Emily and Brian had a baby, no, when Emily and Brian have a baby, are you going to help her? Even when she might be, um, immature and not completely ready herself?”

   “Duh, of course,” Kelly sighed in exasperation, taking Stephanie’s hand. “I probably have more experience takin’ care of little ones than anyone here but maybe Rebecca. Part of the reason Chel let me room with her and her baby daddy was so that there was an extra set of hands—and eyes—to look out for Skyler. Do I think Emily’s ready to be a mom— not only no, but hell no, fuck no. But, also, no one ever is, I don’t think. I think it’s one of those things you could prepare your whole life for and still feel overwhelmed and underprepared and not ready for—from what I’ve seen with Chelsea, that’s just part of being a mom. Adapting to the impossible, rolling with all the punches.

   “As for making a baby with Stephanie?” Kelly laughed, actually leaning forward to look past Stephanie and instead turn a provoking smile down to where Chloe was seated further down the table. “No. I love Stephanie, but I do not want to have a baby with her. Not like that. The whole making a baby but without involving an awful MALE thing reeks of man-hating feminist fantasy, and that’s a hard pass from me.”

     *     *     *

Kirrocen asks:

For Stephanie: given the unconventional structure of your current romantic relationship(s?), do you consider it likely that additional people will be added in the future? Is there a “safe limit” to the number of partners beyond which you would feel uncomfortable, or do you believe the charm would work to minimize such anxieties?

Given the experienced power of the charm, do you believe it an important topic to be researched and understood, or is it more important to focus your efforts on creating and maintaining this wonderful new family you’ve discovered?

   “I… I don’t know!” Stephanie answered with a sheepish smile. “I maybe think there would be a… practical limit? To the number of people that are in this with us. To where, past a certain point, it is too much. Err, I mean too many. But, where that is? I don’t know. There’s a certain anxiety to facing unknowns like that, I think.

   “For instance, if it was just me and Brian— I would be nervous for us to introduce another person. But, then when it was Kelly, me, and Brian, the three of us together, it was better than I could have ever hoped for. At that point, if you’d asked me if adding in a fourth person would make me nervous—I think it would have. But, when Emily arrived, it just. It just. Fit? I don’t know how to describe it. I’ll always be a little worried about introducing more people to our… our little family. But, so far everything has been perfect and amazing. I’m going to, um, to evaluate the situation as it progresses? I don’t know. It’s difficult to really explain. It’s— I can see how there could be problems, in the future with too many people, but right now, I don’t feel that it’s a problem. It’s, it’s perfect, it’s the opposite of a problem right now. It’s— I love it.”

     *     *     *

David Rogers asks:

For Emily: Do you have any job or career you are actually interested in?

   “Yes,” Emily answered.

   “Well—are you gonna tell us what it is?” Brian grinned.

   “No,” Emily shook her head with a cute smile. “It’s… for now, it’s a secret!”

     *     *    *

Eli Courtwright asks:

I love this question.  As a related question: "What would be your dream job, regardless of whether you feel it would be attainable or worth striving for?"

   “My dream job?” Emily laughed out loud. “Isekai anime protagonist, like an anime heroine. Swords and magic and dragons and all that. I want like, a gimmicky power that everyone thinks is the worst, but is secretly overpowered as fuck and always like, shocks people. I don’t want it to be confusing or complicated sort out how you feel stuff like our harem charm powers are, either— it’s gotta be like, quantified into skills in a stat window I can just select. There’s gotta be levels and exp and shit. That’s the easy life, man.

   “Also, just—I dunno, our real world kinda sucks, and I kinda hate it,” Emily made a face. “I wanna be in like, gorgeous fantasy world with cool shit everywhere. Without having to fill out income tax or pay bills or any of that stupid depressing stuff. It’s super lame and boring and I hate it. Except stuff with Brian, that’s all an exception, obviously. Brian and Kelly and Steph and Rebecca.”

   “Stay tuned for Renfaire Fantasy,” Rebecca cups her hand and whispers to the audience.

   “No shit, really?” Emily let out a nervous laugh. “Isn’t that like, too big of a… uh, genre jump or whatever? Well, damn. Cool beans. Fuck yeah.”

     *     *     *

Boneyard asks:

After this convention is over... What will you guys do after that?

Will you keep in touch? And how are you guys going to meet?

     *     *     *

Paul Ramirez asks:

To the harem, once everyone is together at Brian's (or whatever house you all be living at) what's the first thing you will all do?....besides the orgy.

   “Hmmm,” Brian deliberated for a long moment. “Probably eat lunch or dinner together. Having a meal together, sharing food and company— that’s a family thing. Or close friends thing. I’d say coming together for something like that is important to me.”

     *     *     *

Tom McCreery asks:

Synn and Melaneko, did you complete your pants hunt?

“No,” Melanie pouted. “We’re about to, though!”

“What she said,” Jordyn grinned. “We’re kinda-sorta in the midst of that now, it’s in writing but the AMA panel bit will get finished and cleared off the plate, first. Look forward to it, guys!”

     *     *    *

I. Ronical asks:

Chloe: What aspect of the male gaze do you find most problematic?

   “What kind of insipid question is that?” Chloe sneered. “All aspects of the male gaze are problematic. There is no redeeming feature of the male gaze. It is not empowering or flattering to women, no real woman enjoys, accepts, or tolerates it, and it doesn’t exhibit obsequience to the innate superiority of the female form. Everything about the male gaze is base and vile. You of all people already knew that best, I. Ronical.”

     *     *    *

Kirrocen asks:

Also to Chloe: what is your opinion on the matter of transsexuality and, subsequently, transhumanism? If there were laws, for instance, that prevented you

personally from expressing yourself in ways that were

“traditionally” seen as male or masculine, would you interpret this as a typical oppressive movement from the dominant patriarchy, an attempt to affirm a clear

difference between male and female social expression, or neither? Would you support such a law if, instead of  preventing “masculine” expressions by

those perceived as “feminine”, it had the converse effect? For instance, should Brian be legally barred from becoming a birth-surrogate in the event you decide you want his child but carrying it to term yourself is a demeaning and oppressive act?

   “There’s some fundamental misunderstandings you have in your attempts at using some of these big words,” Chloe mocked. “Let me simplify it all for you; anything and everything masculine serves only to highlight and emphasize how much more superior and perfect the feminine is. I’ll add that all men, and by extension obviously Brian as well, should be forced to carry children to term but then have their offspring aborted before birth. So that men can have the opportunity to understand some small fraction of women’s suffering. If I’m given the charm power I rightfully deserve, I can promise you I’ll work towards making this happen in the future.”

   “That’s just… the worst,” Stephanie didn’t even sound surprised anymore. “You’re the worst.”

   “Chloe is just kidding around, she doesn’t really mean that,” Rebecca assured everyone. “Um… next question?”

     *     *     *

Kirrocen asks:

Rebecca: to what degree are you familiar with Emily’s infatuation and deep perversion  with the many flavors of Brian? Would you be comfortable knowing one of your close friends fantasized about body-jacking another close friend and using said body to perform depraved sexual behavior?

If you were to be aware of the depths of Emily’s fantasies, would you be more or less comfortable about discussing your own preferences/sexuality with the other harem members, possibly including Brian? Would you attempt to start such a discussion regardless, knowing that open communication amongst trusted people would likely lead to less friction and more pleasure in the relationship(s)?

   “Hmm,” Rebecca tapped her lip for a moment as she thought about it.

   “Opening up a conversation with Emily about her personal fantasies— no matter how weird and crazy they may seem— isn’t something I will do unless I believe she’s having trouble separating sexual fantasy from reality. Which, I don’t think she does. I’m sure she has very, hrrmm, very lively sexual fantasies, and maybe they’re even dark sometimes— and that’s okay! In the real world, she seems to be very cautious and have a grounded understanding of the real risks, the emotional risks, and so on.

   “Fantasizing about any manner of things is completely normal in the course of discovering your own sexuality!” Rebecca answered. “I don’t think it’s ever fair to judge someone on their personal fantasies. Many, many women have rape fantasies, and obviously real-world rape is very very very bad! They’re different things. I believe it’s important to have a firm mental separation between fantasy and reality— they can’t be treated the same, they can’t be judged the same, and it’s only dangerous when someone begins to conflate them. Sexual fantasies are predicated on ideal partners and usually, I think, ideal outcomes. Sexual fantasy can handwave away any number of real-world annoyances, complications, or consequences, and I feel that most people understand and accept that.

   “A lot of what I think all of us will be doing is probing each other, sounding out each other’s boundaries— and our own boundaries— and discovering the best way we all fit together.”

     *     *    *

TiAM325 asks:

Brian, Catepiller or John Deere?

Mara, favorite bow/arrow style and weight for targets and meat?

   “Errr, if you’re referring to what model of forklift I drive at work, it’s a Hysim,” Brian said. “I think it’s one of the most common brands of lift you’ll see, here in our world at least. It’s also the model I trained on—honestly, the only one I’ve ever even sat in for a bit was a Hakobu. It was—y’know, alright. I don’t feel real opinionated on them one way or another.”

   “Horse bows are my personal preference!” Rebecca smiled. “They have a beautiful, pleasing curve, they’re elegant and simple, but at the same time very functional and practical. I actually sold off the bows I no longer use and have just two horse bows right now, both recurve bows. Daegonhir requires a very low draw-weight for safety— under thirty pounds, with only half-draw when the opponent is within a ten-foot radius and so on. Our state bowhunting regulations on the other hand need a minimum of forty pounds, with a twenty-eight inch draw.

   “I use both, practice frequently with both, and love both for their intended purposes! Many ‘real’ archers really hate how much padding needs to go on arrows for live-action battle gaming, but to me, it’s worth it to be able to fire at a thinking moving target. Never underestimate the most dangerous game!”

     *     *     *

BreakerMouse asks:

Emily: if Chloe were zapped into the Harem, would you be willing to stay in the relationship - particularly with your submissiveness and Chloe's dominance?  Would you have been willing to be with Brian/Chloe pre-charm, if Brian had invited you?

   “Let’s get one thing straight— I’m not gonna submit to her,” Emily spat. “I don’t see her ever zapping into the harem, and if she does? She’d just like, hate it and bitch about everything all the time. I doubt she’d be interested in hanging around the rest of us girls who are in the harem and cool with each other, and it’s not like she’s gonna boss any of us around—Kelly’d put a stop to that like, right away. Sooo basically, there’s a hierarchy there that she doesn’t have any way of climbing up. Coupled with her need to social climb for clout. How do you even see that working out? Bruh.”

   “Now pre-charm… if we’re counting it as like, before Stephanie and Kelly and meeting all them, that’s different. Kinda. If Brian invited me— then, yes. Yes, I would try to be part of the dynamic. I can picture that going two ways— either Chloe trying to use Brian to like, degrade me sexually, which fuck yeah I’m still down for that. I’ll just pretend she’s not even there, el oh el. Or it going the other way, with me basically just as the new hire training in to replace Chloe, who’s ‘bout to be fired. I don’t know. Does that make sense?”

     *     *     *

BreakerMouse asks:

Emily: you were really excited to see Rebecca zapped, but she wants to think it over...are you going to influence that choice over the next weeks, and how so?

   “No,” Emily frowned, turning serious. “No, I’m not going to influence her. I would be thrilled if she decided to be a part of this with all of us, but, I mean— it’s a huge decision. I’m going to respect whatever she goes with. Honestly, we need her a lot more than she needs us, hah. Like, for instance, if you weigh pros and cons back and forth, her situation’s just different. You know? Rebecca’s strong, she’s um, she’s put together, she’s got things figured out. Whereas like, Kelly and me, we’re fuck ups. Stephanie had this social anxiety thing to deal with. Brian had all sorts of trauma. What does Rebecca get out of the harem that she wouldn’t get out of not being in the harem? Her magic thingie, from what we can tell, benefits us more than it does her. If she just wants to sleep with Brian, I am down with lending him out to her. She’ll return him in better condition than she borrowed him from, hah! Considering the whole circumstances, I’m not gonna get jealous or freak out about shit like that.”

   “So like—yeah,” Emily nodded. “Totally her call. I’ll love her to pieces no matter what she decides. That’s my answer.”

     *     *    *

BreakerMouse asks:

Stephanie: When will you be ready to move near/in with the others?

   A brilliant smile immediately broke across Stephanie’s face, and she tried to hide her embarrassment behind her hands before finally peeking back up with a giggle.

   “I’m ready!” Stephanie beamed. “I’m, um— I’m ready now, I’m always ready, I’m— just as soon as I can, I’m going to be there. My things, my things in my dorm? They aren’t even important. I could have Megan bring them by whenever. I just, I, I—I want to be with them. Being apart from those that I love… it’s rough. So, I think… I think as soon as Brian says it’s okay, I’m going to be there. As soon as he’s ready, or, or has enough room for me. I know Kelly’s already going to be there, and that’s great! She needs to be there. I wish I could live with them right now, so much, but also not uh, not if my being there would impose on them, or make things more difficult, or too crowded, or anything like that. But— I’m ready. I’m so ready!”

     *    *    *

AzureXIII asks:

For the zombie universe characters: What gas happened since last we heard from you and how many of your are still ok?

   “We’re all still okay,” The other Brian answered. “A section got written and was going to be posted this past Halloween, but, well… it wasn’t good enough. So, that kinda thing actually happens a lot, and it’ll sit there in Google Docs ‘till Forty has time to refine it into being like it should be. It’s a whole process. We are all real sorry that we weren’t able to appear this year as a special event sorta thing, but we’d rather be there at our best. When it’s not interesting to read, or when it feels flat—it’s just not ready.”

     *     *     *

Fararden asks:

Steph: how will you adapt from being around people a small portion of your day to all the time?

   “I don’t think adapt is really the right word,” Stephanie smiled. “I thought of myself as an introvert, and maybe I’ll always be a little shy in some ways. But, mostly it was fear. Fear, just, suffocating, awful— fear. Of other people, of how I, um, how I appear, how I am presented, socially speaking, what people think of me and will they be mean and can I handle that?

   “I think, I think the thing is—when I’m with the people who care about me, the people I love more than anything, those things, those fears just don’t matter. They’re not there. So— so, I don’t think adapt is the right word. I know Kelly has mentioned how much I’ve changed over this weekend, but really, for me—it’s more that the circumstances changed. The fear changed, a-at least around my close friends, here. The fear changed into… love, love and hope and just this brilliant kind of… warm feelings that I don’t even know how to properly describe. I’m not sure if that answers your question, hehe…”

     *     *     *

Fararden asks:

Brian:  can you allow the other person in a relationship to be the giver?

   “Whew. Uhhh… can I allow another person in a relationship to be the giver,” Brian echoed, thinking it over. “Yes. I think so. I can see what you mean with that, and how it’s kind of a struggle, but— yes. I think, me personally, it’s less that I have a problem with the other partner giving, and more that I’m not comfortable taking. If that makes sense. It’s— if I’m given something, I’m okay with it. But, if I need something, can I, you know, ask for it, take it, make my other partner or partners aware of what I need or how I need it or whatever? That’s much more of a struggle. With the way I was raised— asking for help is the hardest thing to do. It’s not even a guy thing, or like how guys are too proud to ask for directions or anything like that, it’s— I don’t know how to explain it really. It’s, uh, well growing up when you need help and ask for help, and they just snap at you— um, parents, I mean— it sticks with you. Conditions you, it’s a learning thing. You learn what’s considered appropriate, by their metric I guess, and you definitely learn what sets them off, upsets them. It changes you, and… can you change back, from that? I believe you can—I believe I can. Just, it’s going to be a struggle. Always going to be a struggle.”

     *     *     *

Fararden asks:

Chloe: what adversity have you had to deal with in life and how did you overcome it?

   “That’s just a dumb question,” Chloe looked bewildered. “Like, why would you even ask that? If you’ve even read this fucking story at all you’d know that it’s exactly about my adversity, shithead. It’s like I’m taking crazy pills—have you even been reading all the shit I’ve had to put up with? Un-fucking-believable that anyone would even have the audacity to ask that. Can someone lead him out of the room? Please? Yeah, you’re no longer welcome here. Get out.”

     *     *    *

Dang Fool asks:

Kelly, you'll soon find yourself wanting to cook a meal for whoever is living in the house.  What can you cook? What might you be willing to learn to cook?

   “Ooh, this is a good one,” Kelly grinned. “I’m not the most domestic of girls, but I have fended for myself for years and years. So—I can cook, sorta, but I’m not used to cooking big meals, or like cooking for other people.

   “Anyways—yeah, I make sandwiches, and I make wraps. Like, snack wraps. They’re not fancy. I do make a mean grilled cheese. I cook a fair bit of pasta, I love noodles. Whenever I was with Dale he ordered in like, all the time. We had a fridge, yeah, but I made my own food only like, every other day. Damn, we used to have a real nice griddle you could cook on, and you only had to like, wipe across it once and it was clean for next time. I bet Dale scuffed it all up and ruined it, by now. Stupid shitfuck.

   “As for what I’m willing to learn to cook… I’d say most things,” Kelly admitted. “I’m down for most foods. I can look up recipes and I can follow directions. I think the only thing I’m definitely not into, that a lot of others are, is seafood. Like, I like seafood, but I had a bit of food poisoning like… a year and a half ago? Spent a whole damned night wretching it up, and now it’s like— ugh, I don’t even want to smell it. Turns my stomach. I don’t know. We’ll see.

   “Cooking’s an interest but not a hobby, for me. When you want to keep a great figure on not all that much exercise, you can’t think be thinking about food all the time. The trick is portioning, really. Half a single serving, keep super small portions. Always let yourself be a little hungry, never eat ‘till you’re full. Staying hungry gives you this kinda edge.”

     *     *     *

Autumn B asks:

How do members feel about the non-sexual aspects of their polycule?

   “Bzzzt!” Emily made a buzzer noise. “Trick question— all aspects of our polycule are sexual! When you’re horny enough, everything is, if you put your mind to it! So there! Nyaaah!”

   “To… throw an actual answer out there, I feel good about it,” Brian jumped in. “I think our group isn’t as much about sex as you’d think. We’re a lot more than that. We can just be supportive of one another, play around, work on our own projects together, all cuddle up and just have a movie night or whatever. Sex is a part of it, but I don’t think it’s even like, the biggest part.

   “I agree!” Stephanie nodded in approval. “I feel really good about our group.”

   “I’ve got some reservations about the non-sexy bits,” Kelly admitted with a wry smile. “But, I mean— we’ll see. I am excited to do things with them that aren’t all about non-stop fucking like we’re living a porno. Kinda want to take Steph shopping and get her trying on some different things and more confident in how she dresses and presents herself and all that. I’m interested in talking shop with Emily’s mom about acting, and if it turns out I’m any good at that, it’d be this whole new side of myself I’d be excited to share with them. That’s maybe it, just this idea that each of us has these different facets of ourselves, and we’ll have time to just sorta. Get to see it all. I like it.”

   “I don’t think I count as a member, just yet!” Rebecca laughed. “But, I know I’ll be spending time with everyone because we’re all friends, and that’s what friends do.”

     *     *     *

Duncan McGregor asks:

Megan: you seem to be the only person who knows about this magic but is not being directly affected by it. How do you feel about that?

   “Excited!” Megan laughed. “Disappointed! I mean, super cool that I’m in the loop on something so awesome and amazing. But also, it’s tough and kinda not always fun. But also, like, I think, it’s also an important role? I feel like the designated driver, sorta? It’s this feeling of responsibility, and that’s like, meaningful, to have people give me that trust.”

     *     *    *

Chris Myers asks:

Emily: Now that you've become the member of a magical harem, how will that affect your diet and exercise habits? Will you be avoiding or patronizing certain fast-food places? Is a health club membership in your future?

   “Uhhh, yeah, totally,” Emily snorted, rolling her eyes. “Bruh—I’m like, clinically underweight. A health club? Yeaaah, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure from what Kelly said, Brian’s spooge like, magically makes me healthier, or something. You wanna try some? I’m gonna like, set aside a week sometime in the future and see if I’m able to subsist on it and nothing else. Pure magic semen diet, fuck yeah. Yummy yummy in my tummy. And, uh, yeah that’s also gonna cover my exercise, if you know what I mean?”

   Emily grins and waggles her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

   “But yeah, seriously, no way in hell am I doin’ any of that diet or healthfood stuff. Nope nope nope.”

   “I'm thinking… generic places, like MacDoogle's, Burger Duke's, and maybe the 48 Half-Hour Health Club,” Chris Myers calls out from the audience.

   “I just—listen, magic’s gonna take care of all that health stuff,” Emily insisted in a fluster. “I don’t wanna exercise or do calisthenics or whatever it is you health nut weirdos do. It’s lame and boring and sounds just fuckin’ exhausting. If I ever get real outta shape, I’ll have Brian fuck me thinner or more muscular or whatever. It just works, okay? It just works.”

/// I've been chipping away at this in my free time between working on AH and RE:TT sections. It's not done yet, as some of the answers are perfunctory and some I haven't even started on—but, it's already crept over ten thousand words so I thought I'd start posting it up.

   My end goal is to give this the laid back sort of fun + energy of an actual panel at a convention, but some of the questions are... hard to work with. Will flesh out more still, I just don't want the discord peeps being the only ones seeing progress on this.

   Might also have to insert image linebreaks or something to help split up questions, Patreon formatting isn't the most versatile for separating all of these out.