Answering the callings of the heart. // One of my first shoots in Austin, years ago… (Patreon)

I’m impressed by how enthusiastically I jumped in front of the camera once I realized it was something my heart was longing for.

I asked friends, and friends of friends. I said yes to any opportunity that came my way. I even put that I was seeking photographers in a dating profile! (And it led to one of the most potent creative collaborations I had the privilege of experiencing in my late 20s!)

After so many years as a teenage girl, enduring the cruel comments of my peers and the wicked self-judgement of a young woman trained by American culture to pick herself apart… it was a triumph for me to wind up in front of the camera.

I had always felt drawn to the arts, to crafting a style… to being a woman. (Someone once joked that I must have turned 60 at the age of 5. They may not have been that far off.)

Once I arrived at this sweet spot of being comfortable *enough* in my skin, and brave *enough* to choose a new pathway of exploration for myself — it was easy. To step in front of the camera and play. To experiment. To express myself.

This isn’t the only thing in my life that has gone this way.

And it got me thinking tonight — how imperative it is that we learn to listen to the callings of our hearts. The stirrings of our spirit. No one can do this for us.

We know what we desire. There’s no denying it, when you really take a moment to listen.

It’s about being willing to take the leap.

Being willing to say yes, even at the risk of making a fool of yourself.

Because often, the one who is judging us the worst, is… well… us.

If we can prove our most cruel and critical inner perspective irrelevant, then we have power.

There are some people who seem able to leap into everything with blind faith and belief in themselves.

But I think that the vast majority of us shuffle around, question ourselves, wonder if we’ll ever be good enough or smart enough or rich enough or thin enough to do that thing we’ve been wanting to do.

Well… my invitation to you is to simply do it.

Begin.

Those things you secretly wish you had started five years ago?

What makes you think you won’t still want it five years from now?

Time is precious. Your creative stirrings are precious. Your desires are precious.

Precious and irreplaceable.

And while many others may take great delight in you choosing to do that thing you’ve been longing to do…

…the person you really have to do it for…

…is you.

xoxo

A.M.

Photos by Nicole Berlin