Exquisitely Unrushed (Patreon)

Intentionally alone.

Exquisitely unrushed.

That’s been the name of the game for me recently.

Trust me… there have been many tantrums and lots of thrashing along the way.

It TAKES something to be alone when the whole world (and springtime in NYC!) is pulling you… to go! be outside! here, there, everywhere! anywhere! else! but…!

In.

And I am in -such- a deep internal process.

(It is to be expected with me — 1/3 splenic projector, Scorpio Sun/Pisces Moon/Virgo Rising, with a totally open emotional center… goodness gracious, sometimes I wonder how on Earth I have survived being anywhere but in a lil garden with a lil pond 😅 And for those who get my references and feel me ::hugs::)

My path is not an easy one.

When I try to run from this, it hurts.

The woman I am and choose to be, the woman I am becoming.

She requires nothing less than life, death, and rebirth. Over, and over again.

I am a woman born to midwife all the Women of my becoming.

I have had no choice in the matter.

I have such a deep, unwavering commitment to people, to relationship, to the Earth, to Beauty, to Harmony, to Eros, to Love.

And as I have learned, time and time again… this requires — absolutely requires — such a deep, unwavering commitment to myself.

Because my path is not easy, is precisely why I have been thrust into exploring what ease IS.

How to be it. Feel it. Embody it. Experience it.

It’s why I am someone who knows and loves the path of ease through celebration — merriment, gatherings, parties, music, dancing, festivals, shared ritual, etc. Certainly.

And… being such a gentle soul… it’s why I am someone who also continues to learn the path of ease through solitude — through being with nature, quiet days reading, learning at my own pace about things that fascinate me, receiving massages, visiting spas and bathhouses, slowly sipping tea all by myself.

What I’m speaking to here is something infinitely deeper and more expansive than self-love…

…it is something that encompasses the entirety of beingness.

From root chakra (survival) all the way to crown (enlightenment).

Being exquisitely alone in a world that constantly pulls for your attention, opinion, judgment, reaction… is one of the greatest blessings to bestow upon yourself in this day and age.

I’m not saying this is so for everyone.

Some people really do have the capacity to go, go, go. Some people thrive in that kind of energy. I admire those people.

I used to think that I was one of them. I used to think I had to be one of them.

And the more I take time with myself — away from the world, yet still in and of the world — I see the truth.

I need time.

And space.

And peace.

With me.

Precious. Little.

Just.

Me.

And what a gift that is in and of itself, and to the world I get to return to — rejuvenated, alive, refreshed, grounded, happy… at ease.

Exquisitely unrushed.

xo

A.M.

Qs: Do you enjoy time alone, or does it feel edgy for you? What is it that brings a sense of ease to your body and being?

Mantras: I am allowed to slow down and relax. I gift myself the nourishment of my own presence and attention. I am safe to be in solitude.

Photo by Yoshiko Lovebomb