I lived. (Patreon)

Hey. So. I was gonna post this earlier, but uh... things have been tough. Let's put it that way.

Right now, I'm working my way through the Patreon request games. Final Fantasy XV, it turns out, is kind of large, so it's taking longer to actually finish and write about it than I had previously hoped, which is a bummer.

After February, things were... not great. I'd worked super hard, to the point of experiencing what I was told by the doctors, was tachychardia. I decided to take it easy. All my freelance commitments had ended, and while I was in the process of seeking more, I wasn't being super aggressive about it. Instead, I was focusing on the Patreon articles and Paratopic.

As some of you know, we released a video game in mid March called Paratopic. It's a short little adventure game that Jess and I decided to put together so we could pay for things like doctor's visits and rent money. While that last week was pretty intensive, I still did my best to take things easy, because I wasn't sure what was going on with my heart. After the tachycardia, I didn't want to risk my heart.

Well, things got worse, so I went to the ER. What I thought would be a simple "oh, yeah, take this, relax, you'll be okay" turned into an expensive overnight stay.

Turns out I have diabetes and a heart condition called Wolfe Parkinson White. WPW is treatable; you do this thing called "ablation" to fix it, but my case is apparently particularly bad (everyone I spoke with said that my case looked like it might be life threatening). Right now, I'm on some heart medication and diabetes medication for it. Thing is, the heart and diabetes medications don't go together well, which is one reason why everyone wants me to get this ablation therapy taken care of.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to afford this. All I want to do is write cool stuff and make cool games. How am I gonna fix my heart before permanent damage is done? (WPW basically makes your heart beat way too fast and hard all the time, which contributes to my fatigue).

I'm still trying to take things easy. My heart still hurts.

I was able to get one of the Patreon pieces out, which you can read here: http://thesto.mp/post/172539100682/on-the-importance-of-caring

Paratopic's doing as well as a game on itch.io can, so it's not exactly paying for heart surgery. I still need the dental surgery I mentioned earlier. Things are hard, plain and simple. I don't know how I'm gonna make it out.

But I'm gonna do my best to try.

Thank you all so much; without you, I don't know how I'd still be around. It was thanks to you and some cool Ko-fi help that I was able to afford the medication that's supposed to help me keep my diabetes under control and my heart from giving out. I'm exhausted, but I'm still working.

Up next: pieces on Receiver, Final Fantasy XV (which is taking forever to finish, it's so BIG! Lots to say on that one), Freespace 2, Minesweeper (if I can figure out how), and Bioshock 2.

Still streaming: Resident Evil 4 and Metroid Prime. Will write essays on those when I've finished streaming them.

Distant plans: streaming Ace Combat games and writing about them (4, 5, 0, possibly 6 too), and continuing work on the YouTube series, which I've finally got planned out.

G1 progress continues. We still need art and animation work before we can take this to a publisher. I don't know how we're gonna fund it yet, but trust me, when we pull this off... it's gonna be ~wild~. Shooters as a genre are gonna change for the better.

Thanks for bearing with me; being dizzy and in pain all the time really sucks. I'm doing most of my gaming in bed these days. If I can get this heart situation taken care of, my quality of life will improve in a dramatic way. I love you all. If there's anything I can do to make this Patreon better, please, reach out to me (best way to do it is Twitter DMs). I don't know how I'd still be alive without you, so thank you, thank you so much.