Mission Pretty Possible Chapter 17.8 (Patreon)

“Oh, god no,” Sam laughed, checking his phone. “Elena is terrible with men. She scares them off. She’s too… intense. We’re trying to soften her up. Make her more approachable. You know, less ‘bossy,’ more ‘babe.’”

Ethan gripped the armrests harder. I am right here, he screamed internally. I played football. I am inheriting a biotech empire.

“Aw, poor thing,” Tanya cooed, painting the bleach over Ethan’s ears. “Don’t worry, Elena. Blondes really do have more fun. You’ll see. Boys love the lighter look. It triggers their protective instincts.”

Ethan wanted to vomit. He didn't want to trigger anyone’s protective instincts. He wanted to punch a wall. But he couldn't. He was trapped under a plastic cape, chemicals searing his scalp, while his girlfriend’s brother discussed his lack of sex appeal.

Forty minutes later, the burning had stopped, but the tedium—and the weight—had begun. His hair had been washed out to a shocking, raw yellow, but Sam wasn't done.

“Extensions,” Sam commanded. “The 24-inch tape-ins. Blonde. Give me volume.”

“Sam,” Ethan groaned, shifting his legs. The heels were making his calves cramp even while sitting. “24 inches? How am I supposed to work in a lab with hair catching on microscopes?”