Woodhock Blocked (Patreon)

When I was a teenager, I was forever at the drafting table writing two comic series, 100% certain I would make it big with my furry genius. One was a comedy about mantis kids, which I was working on with my friend Joe (hi Joe!). The other was a fantasy adventure comic in the vein of REDWALL, which I called FIREHEART. Fireheart was not well written (teenage angst is overwrought on a good day), but the art was really impressive for the time. One of these days I'll post a few pages and make you laugh ironically.

Anyway, A. C. Mantiski the muthafuggin fourth made her way into my grown-up opus When We Fly, so why not a character from Fireheart as well? One of my main cast was a hot-tempered little warrior zebra named Tae (not at all to be confused with Kae). A bit of configuring, and now Coach Taye Woodhock lords Napoleonic over the Mercyfurs gymnasium. Let's see how well you scroll after a thousand pushups, you noodle-armed punks!

Here's the question on every child-free adult's mind: do kids still play dodgeball? Growing up it was such a staple that it's become a trope, and it's obviously the funniest thing about gym class, but it seems that such an aggressive sport would have been banned from schools by now. I'm not even certain that kids have gym class anymore. Do kids still ride bikes? Do they still say "cool"?

Like all female gym teachers, Coach Taye is a lesbian, and like all female gym teachers, she's closeted. Relax, I'm joking, sort of; she'd lose her job at Mercyfurs if she was open about her personal life. Mantiski et all wish she'd just be real with them, but you gotta not do what you gotta not do.

When We Fly (c)Kae