Bubba's Idea Vault Story #5 (Unedited) (Patreon)

All is Vainglory

By: Bubbajack

Editors/Co-Authors: Icysnowsage, First Hassan

Obligatory First Chapter Disclaimer: Only gonna say this once, I DO NOT OWN the following franchises: Baccano! Buffy the Vampire Slayer, D. Grey Man, Dies Irae, Dresden Files, Campione, Fullmetal Alchemist, Familiar of Zero, Irregular at Magic High School, Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS, Overlord, and Saga of Tanya the Evil. They are all owned by their respective owners.

Note: Special thanks to our Super Donors: Apostle_of_Darkness, Ben Wanless, Bobby Glass, CrazymanDK, Jac, Jareth Norris, Meraj Alimi, and Selmephren.

Ch.1: Prime Materia.

It really wasn’t looking good for the Scooby Gang from where Xander was sitting. They were in dire straits at the moment. Buffy was beaten, battered, bloody, and bruised. Glory, or Glorificus the blonde bombshell of sHell Goddess had Dawnie tied to a sacrificial stone altar as she slowly sciphoned her blood, portals began to open all over the place. But the biggest one was right below them and growing wider by the moment. Xander for his part had his arm out of socket and a split lip. As usual, him being the Zeppo meant the Big Bad didn’t see him as a threat. ‘But maybe, I can use that to my advantage.’ He thought to himself, as he crawled as stealthily as he could and placing a hand on one of her bleeding wounds. She’d confided in him privately about her dream, and what she feared it might mean. Xander though, could not, would not let that happen. As her blood soaked his palm he thought to himself, ‘Dawnie’s lost enough already this year. Joyce is gone, she doesn’t need to lose her sister too,’

“Xan,” Buffy hissed out.

“Buffster,” He greeted, “You hangin’ in there?”

“Yep. I can’t move right now. She got me good with that hook to the chin.” The petite faux-blonde grunted, trying to get up using the Troll Hammer as a crutch, only to fail, and collapse to her knees.

Putting a hand on her to get her to stay still Xander told her, “Don’t worry Buffy, I got this.”

“Xander, don’t! I can’t… We can’t lose you! You don’t stand a chance! Sit down before she snaps your neck.” Buffy tried to rise again, but a kick from the insane Hell Goddess had shattered her kneecap. She was going on pure adrenaline and willpower at this point.

Yet Xander just smiled at her as he hefted the hammer of Olaf the Troll King on his shoulder, somehow balancing it on his shoulder agility while she struggled to lift it with pure strength. “Don’t you know Buffy? I’m the Zeppo. No one ever notices me… Look after Dawn ok? Remember, you're all she’s got now that Joyce is gone,” Giving something between a smile and a grimace, Xander told her, “I love you Buffy, you’ve always been, and always will be my hero.”

With his peace said, Xander ran at Glorificus as fast as he could, spinning the hammer around with both arms and rotating on both heels as he closed in. Glory turned just in time to receive a hammer blow to her chin. Xander brought the weapon round again, this time coming up from below, and again, Glory took a strike to the perfection that was her face. This time she was knocked off balance and Xander took that as an opportunity to tackle her with both arms, sending both her and him plunging off the roof and tumbling into the portal below.

“Xander!” The Scoobies called running and limping to the edge as fast as they could. Yet they were too late. Both Xander and Glorificus had fallen into the hellish abyss and what’s more, the portals around them were beginning to close all around them.

None of that mattered to any of them at the moment, for their friend Alexander Lavelle Harris was gone. He’d died a Hero saving his friends and the world… all the while thinking himself as nothing but a Zeppo. It was unfortunate that he was no longer here, for his friends would like nothing more than to assure him otherwise.

(...)

Xander awoke with a groan, and sat up. He found himself in a pure white room. “Is this… heaven?” He asked no one in particular. “Seems kinda empty, I at least expected to see Joyce,”

“Sorry to break it to you Alexander Lavelle Harris,” A high pitched voice told him drawing his attention to a white outline of a human being one that had no facial features outside of a wide grinning mouth sitting in a relaxed position on the floor across the room from him, “But this isn’t exactly heaven,” The caricature of a person paused, saying, “I suppose I could send you there if you want, but then your little friends would have to clean up the mess Glorificus just made.”

“Woah, woah, hold up, just who are you anyway?” Xander asked this enigmatic figure.

His question just caused it to grin even wider, “I am Truth, I am God, the World, and I am you.” He replied pointing at Xander to emphasize the last bit.

Upon hearing his introduction the hunter asked eerily calm, “Your God? Like God with a Capital G God?”

Truth nodded emphatically, “I am, though I prefer the name Truth, why do you ask?”

In response, Xander walked up to the entity and picked him up by his neck before he started yelling in his face, “Do you have any idea how often I prayed to you when I was younger?! How often I prayed that Tony would stop drinking and become a good father again, that mom and him would quit drinking, quit belittling me? Or how often I’ve prayed for Jessie’s soul, knowing full well it was damned to hell cause he got turned? How many nights that I’ve prayed for Buffy, Willow, Giles and myself to come back safe from a night of killing monsters that should only exist in cheap paperback novels and housewife porn? Not once, have I ever gotten some kind of answer from you, and only now, after I’m dead do you show up?!”

Truth, his smile gone, though not grimacing nor angry replied, “Yes Alexander, most people usually only meet me after they die to be fair,”

The young man dropped the deity just as abruptly as he’d put him in a chokehold before he collapsed to his hands and knees taking deep gasping breaths as sweat beaded his brow. He was having a panic attack, he knew it was because he was dead. He knew it was a one way trip but still. Knowing it in one’s head is one thing, knowing it in the heart is another.

“Alexander… Alexander?” Truth needled trying to get his attention.

“What is it, you faceless abomination?!” Xander snapped, lifting his sweat soaked head to look at him, “Can’t you see I’m having a moment here?”

“Jessie McNally’s soul isn’t in any hell dimension,” Truth informed him, “He is in purgatory, awaiting the day of final judgment. His soul was untainted by the blood demon. You did him a service by slaying his vampiric scion.”

Xander, still on his knees shook with his head down, as tears fell from his eyes. After a moment, he said, “Thank you,”

“You're welcome… if you're willing, I have a job for you.” Truth told him.

“What is it?”

Truth told Xander, the truth, “When Glory opened the portals using Dawn, she opened all the portals… including my own… things escaped Alexander. Things that should not have been allowed out. What's more, intentionally or not, when you threw yourself and Glory off that roof, you used the Alchemical taboo of Human Transmutation on yourself.”

“What… what does that mean?” Xander asked, a fearful warble in his voice.

“That you are no longer human, you are now a Homunculus. An artificial human. My artificial human,” Truth informed him, “I have taken your previous heroic actions into account and decided to have some mercy and take some responsibility for this myself.”

“But what does this have to do with me? I’m weak, not some superpowered Slayer, or magical hacker!” the carpenter complained.

Truth’s grin winded and he clapped his hands together as he replied, “Exactly! That’s why you're perfect for this job!” Truth said pointing behind him, “Go ahead look behind you.”

Doing so, Xander saw a door. It depicted a snake on a tree tempting a woman with an apple, who herself was offering it to a man, both of them covered in fig leaves. “The depiction of original sin, why?”

“You’ve been fused with a Hell Goddess, your sin incarnate,” Truth replied jovially. “You are primeval sin… Vainglory.”

Xander was confused, “Boastfulness? I thought pride was the original sin?”

“Lucifer refused to bow before My judgment when I granted Man the Garden. He claimed he was superior, and refused to submit. How is that not boasting? Vainglory is considered both the parent of Vanity and Pride. Apt wouldn’t you say?” Truth mused aloud.

“I guess, but why am I vainglory? I don’t boast, or take others achievements for myself.” Xander pointed out.

“That’s the point, it's meant to be ironic,” Truth told him as he sighed. “You may be sarcastic but other forms of humor just fly right over your head don't they Alexander?”

“No… okay maybe a little,” He admitted after a moment, “So if I’m vainglory, who’re the other sins?”

“Yeah… about that. Long before this mess happened the Gate was opened before… I need you to go and collect the little shit who escaped the first time.”

Xander hissed through his teeth, “Sensing some bad blood there,”

Truth shook his head, “Not bad blood, just… disappointment, to be there, amongst you humans for so long, and yet? He’s learned nothing, absolutely nothing at all. He truly is such a bitter disappointment,” Truth finished frowning, shaking his head in disgust.

“Okay so find the prodigal son, got it,” Xander nodded, “I can do that… probably. Quick question; do I get anything for being God’s own Homunculus?”

“So glad you asked!” Truth replied, rubbing his hands together eagerly as if he’d been waiting for the prompting to go into this very topic. “It just so happens, you do. Every Homunculi my wayward first son has created has a particular ability. I am granting you all of them. You are Vainglory after all.”

Xander nodded, “Okay… what can they do?”

In response, Truth snapped his fingers, and a pile of several books appeared on the floor in front of Xander. He picked up the topmost one and read the title “Fullmetal Alchemist” by Hiromu Arikawa. Knowing a manga, when he saw one Xander decided to sit down and start reading, his back pressed up against the black door. The more he read, the more he thought ‘Oh shit, oh fuck, oh damn!’ After what could’ve been minutes or hours he finished the final volume and he thought several things to himself, ‘Ed and Winrey forever, Hughes deserved better, and Greed is best Homunculus,’ Turning to truth he said, “So I have future sight, diamond hard skin, can extend my arms and fingers like spears, can eat anything and have a pocket dimension to here in my stomach, super strength and speed, and I can manipulate my own shadow?”

“And the use of Alchemy, don’t forget that, but you also have a power unique to Vainglory,” Truth replied.

“Which is?” the former construction worker was intrigued.

“Right of Conquest, whenever you defeat a foe whether through killing or utter loss, their powers and abilities will become yours, their glories shall become your glories.”

“Damn that sounds… overpowered as all hell?” Xander commented even as he was already considering how to implement it. “Anything else I should know about?”

“Ah yes, Glorificus’ meat puppet and the lady herself, what would you like me to do with them? I’ve given you her demonic power, hundreds of billions of souls make up the philosopher's stone inside you… she was a powerful bitch for a reason, it took a thousand years just to oust her from her own dimension you know?” Truth informed him.

“So she’s powerless?” Xander asked with wicked glee crossing his face.

It was a smile Truth matched as he replied, “Quite, any preferences?”

Xander stroked his chin, “Can you show me said meat puppet?”

With a snap of his fingers, showed Xander a slightly younger man. Maybe in his late teens? He almost looked like he could be related to Xander himself. “Glory’s physical vessel is a guy?”

“What a twist!” Truth said, not sounding shocked at all.

Xander muttered “I can work with this. Truth can you permanently fuse this guy and Glory but make her feel his human emotions?”

Truth’s grin widened, “So what you're saying is, you want to give a human soul… to a powerless Hell Goddess?”

Xander hissed through his teeth, “Well when you put it like that, it sounds just like what happened to Dead Boy… which might be good for her. So yeah, let’s do it!”

“Oh that is the kind of humor and punishment I love. Xander you truly get me. The best kind of punishment is karmic!”

“God, this could be the start of a b-e-a-utiful friendship.” Xander told him.

“You rang?” Truth smirked back. “But no, feelings mutual. I do have one more thing for you before sending you off though?”

“Oh?” Xander was intrigued.

“I am giving you the authority to make Homunculi of your own, but they can only number eight. One for each of the Sins. Pride, Envy, Lust, Gluttony, Wrath, Sloth, Greed, and Acedia.”

“What’s that last one?” the carpenter questioned.

Truth quickly explained, “Acedia means depression, listlessness, indifference, or lack of care. It eventually got rolled together with Sloth, though Acedia is the laziness of the spirit and mind, and Sloth is the laziness of the body, or refusal to work.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t give me acedia then. I’ve been depressed as all hell since Jessie died.”

“No, you’ve been mad as all hell since Jessie died, if anything, I could’ve just given you Wrath’s abilities, but I felt you deserved more than that. You understood the importance of being human. Everyone around you gained powers or abilities that made them more than human. You. You tried to stay human. As the manga you just read put. What is wrong with being human? I made humans. I gave them unlimited potential. Yet again and again they always wanted more. You were content with your path. Even when you had the chance to become something stronger at the cost of your humanity you didn’t take it. Alexander you may not hear it from your own parents but at least know this. I am proud of you. That is the truth,” Truth corrected him.

“Thanks,” The young man was humbled but it felt good to hear it, from God no less. The only person it would’ve actually meant more to hear it from would’ve been Giles himself. Yes Xander put Giles on a higher pedestal than God. Of course what son wouldn’t look up to their father in such a way?

“No thanks necessary,” Truth snapped his fingers and a very terrified looking Glory, still clad in her red dress appeared before them both. “You, you annoying little gnat, should consider yourself lucky Alexander has continued to grant you the right to exist? You shall serve him well till the end of your days, or die trying. Am. I. Clear?”

Glory, too afraid to speak, nodded her head rapidly in response. Even as a hell goddess Glory always feared the creator. All demons feared the creator. What could she do against the one who created all. She truly was a gnat in the eyes of Truth.

Truth clapped his hands, “Excellent! Then you should be off. You know where the exit is right?” He waved them off, seemingly bored now that they’d had their fun.

“Alexander Aurum Argentum al Rebis?” Truth called getting his attention.

“Yeah?”

“Do be careful, it’s a bold new world for you out there,” Truth gave him a final grin, “Try not to die… too much.”

“Ass,” Xander called back as the Gate, his Gate opened and pulled himself and Glory through to the world of Amitris. It would be the first world of many.

(...)

Xander stepped out of the Gate, into a rainstorm. He found himself in a small village of Resembool, hometown of the person who would become known as the Fullmetal Alchemist in about a year unless his math was off. ‘This scenery, I know what’s happening right now, we need to hurry but also be careful,’ Xander decided.

“It's wet,” Glorificus complained as she put her hands over her arms, “Why am I shaking?”

“You’re cold due to the rain, bear with it for now and follow me,” Xander told his new charge.

“Get me some warm clothes immediately!” The former Hell Goddess demanded.

Xander ran a hand down his face, ‘Looks like I’m gonna have to be a bit rough with her, if only to establish the new status quo.’ So thinking he whipped around and picked Glory up by her throat, lifting her up off the ground as if she weighed no more than a cardboard box. As she kicked and struggled fruitlessly against his hold, Xander spoke calmly, “Now you listen here you over privileged premadonna. Your power trip is over. People bending over backwards for your every whim? That’s done too. You have no power anymore. You’ve been rendered human, a mere mortal. You know, that thing you once considered sustenance? Yeah that. You are going to either start earning your keep or I’m gonna leave you to die, got it?!” as Xander said this his shadow writhe and show many different eyes and teeth as it showed hunger for the former hell goddess.

Glory gripped either side of his wrist with both hands, and even though she was glaring at him hatefully, she nodded. Considering that good enough, he dropped her onto the muddy ground leaving her coughing as he said, “Good, now follow me, we’ve got work to do and we’re on a timetable.”

“Where… are we… going… master?” Glorificus coughed out.

Xander glanced back, eyebrow raised, ‘Master? Is this a demon's strength thing? Whatever, I’ll keep an eye on her regardless.’ He told her, “To a house down the way, we need to… pick up something… or rather… someone,”  Xander walked through the rain and thunder without looking back after that, and after a moment, he heard the sound of footsteps splashing through the puddles running to catch up with him.

They soon arrived at the scene of the heinous crime, a nice two story white washed house. Xander could see the heavy footprints in the mud and the diluted bloodtrail leading away from the house, meaning the Elric Brothers had already committed the Unforgivable Sin of Alchemy. Sighing to himself Xander glanced back and said, “This probably won’t affect you but I’m going to say it anyway, what we’re about to walk into is going to be ghastly, so if you don’t want to, you don’t have to come.”

“I would like… to get out of the rain… please?” Glory replied slowly, testing every word like she was speaking their first language. Which for someone like her, manners probably were.

“Come on then,” Xander led the way into the house. It was dark, only lit however briefly by flashes of lighting coming from the windows. The duo heard it before they saw it, a twisted misshapen mass of flesh vaguely in the shape of a woman in her thirties. The Homunculus known as Vainglory grimaced, he’d seen far worse in his time of course, but still they were usually already dead. This poor soul was… while not alive at least the body was writhing in pain.

“What is this feeling in my stomach?” Glory asked, “it feels like something is trying to force itself up from my gullet?”

“Sounds like you're going to be sick, go to that trash bin if you're gonna be sick,” the former Construction worker told her.

Xander’s advice was sound as moments later he heard Glory retching. “By the Old Ones! Bleh… why do… Gaah… Humans… have this… function?” She asked between heaves.

“It's a bodily reaction to shock, or overeating, I don’t know why it exists.”

“It's disgusting, gah this horrible taste un mah mouph!”

Xander just shook his head at her antics. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he and his fellow Scoobies were getting their butts handed to them by what was essentially a woman with a toddlers mentality. So he took it upon himself to educate her, “That’s bile Glory… you didn’t have any food to throw up so… yeah, go get some water to sip on, “ He advised as he approached the groaning body.

“M’kay… where?” she asked, looking confused.

Xander pointed at the faucet. “Tap Glory.”

The demoness nodded and moved to the kitchen and turned the handle, scooping water into her cupped palms and gulping it down. ‘I’ll need to teach her manners too, it seems,’ Xander thought before he focused on the thing on the floor. It was twisted and mangled with its ribs poking through its chest, and bones tearing through the body every other way to boot. ‘Still I should be able to do something about this,’ So, he clapped his hands together and placed them on the miserable wretch and allowed the transmutation to take place.

Alchemy was the transmutation of matter from one state to another. What Xander was doing was not Alchemy but Alkahestry of the East. He was attempting to heal this mangled body using internalized methods. “C’mon it should be theoretically possible, right?” He said to himself as he pushed more power into the action. It took a moment but then it started, bones started to snap into place, flesh covered over and smoothed out, blemishes cleared away, and cataracts around the eyes faded until a perfect soulless clone of Trisha Elric lay on the ground before him. “Well, that’s… step one,” Xander said as he scratched his head in confusion. “What’s step two? How do I go about getting your soul back in this body hmm?”

“Demonic power,” Glory said after a moment even though she was making noises with her tongue like she had tasted something unpleasant.

“Huh?” Xander asked.

“You need to use demonic power to quite literally pluck her soul out of its afterlife and put it in the body… master,” Glory replied, still being submissive.

“Okay… how do I do that? Is there a spell or some kind of convoluted ritual I need to do or something?”

Glory just nodded and said slightly nervous, “For this woman in particular I would open a doorway to the creator. This realm has little to no demonic taint. It is very pure. So open the gateway and coax out her soul into the body. I should warn you though. Resurrection such as this has to come at a cost. Nothing is free. So a soul must be given in return.”

Xander deadpanned, “I am not giving up my soul Glory.”

The blonde held up her hands defensively while shaking her head, causing her flaxen locks to go flying as she said, “Not your soul master ….. A damned soul from hell will suffice. I can sense a lot inside of you so just use one of them.”

“Ah… that’s more reasonable… and will you relax, I’m not gonna kill you? I’m still human,” He told her, “All this bowing and scraping coming from you of all people is kinda pathetic. You're human now, but you're still better than this.”

“But… but you're stronger than me!” Glory complained, “The strong are supposed to dominate and rule over the weak!”

“I’m not a social darwinist alright? I don’t like how you treated me or my friends, especially Dawn but I’m not gonna torture you just because I can.”

“You mean the Key right?”

Xander shook his head, “No, Dawn. She’s a person, Glory.”

Glory sighed, “Oh Master, don’t you see that was a mass of energy given shape as a person? All the memories you have of her are false and meant to engender goodwill and protective instincts. You know that right?” She spoke almost pityingly.

“I know all that, trust me. I was the last person to find out about Dawn’s… condition. Yet regardless of how she came into being, she thinks therefore she is Glory. Same as you or I.”

“That is, an interesting take on life I suppose master… So what does that make this thing then?” Glory asked as she nudged the undulating mass of flesh with her foot.

“She’ll be a person too, as soon as I put her soul back,” Xander almost clapped his hands together but stopped short. “Actually the other homunculi don't have to do anything to activate their abilities so… do I even need to clap?” He asked himself this question before he simply tapped his foot on the wooden floor as a test… and a black gate swallowed both him and the corpse.

(...)

“Your back sooner than I thought,” Truth greeted. “And you brought a life sized sex doll too?” He said, noting Trisha’s corpse.

“You know why I’m here,” Xander said.

Truth smirked. “I do, are you ready to pay the toll?”

“Soul for a soul right?” Xander questioned.

Truth rubbed his chin, “Well yeah, but do you really wanna stop there? You could make her one of your homunculi, you know?”

“Hmm, I suppose… but even if I did just bring her back as a mortal wouldn’t she just die of the same disease?”

“It's entirely possible,” Truth shrugged. “Mortals have their time, and she met hers sooner rather than later,” Truth even though he lacked eyes seemed to be giving him a serious look, even as he spoke ominously, “Are you willing to make a sacrifice to give her a second chance? Even if it's something considered inhuman?”

“By what measure is a nonhuman?” Xander replied, before he continued, “... 250,001 souls. That’s how many souls I’m willing to cough up in trade,” Xander replied. “For my Homunculus of Sloth.”

Truth grinned, “A fair bargain. More than my prodigal son was willing to give his own progeny, Alright, let's shake on it,” Truth said, offering him his hand.

Xander took it, and felt a small something slipping away from where their hands made contact. Truth then spoke again, “The die is cast, I wonder who else will enter the fold, and have their fate rewritten by your hand? I look forward to seeing the results.”

Xander was abruptly pulled back through the Gate.

(...)

Finding himself back in the Elric residence, he sat bolt upright only to be forced back down as a voice told him calmly, “Easy now, you’ll make yourself sick sitting up so quickly.”

Laying back down, Xander found himself looking up into the warm smiling face of Trisha Elric. “Oh wow, it worked.”

“It did… you have my thanks young man.” Trisha replied kindly.

‘Wait, if I’m looking up at her while laying down that means… is she giving me a lap pillow?!’ Xander thought to himself. “It's no problem Trisha… unfortunately we should get going soon,”

“So I can’t… see my boys?” She asked sadly.

“Trisha, think about it logically,” Xander told her, “They just tried to bring you back from the dead. Ed and Al failed, injuring themselves severely in the process. What do you think would happen if you went to them right now?”

“I… will be attacked by Pinako,” Trisha sighed. “Will my boys be okay at least?”

Xander nodded, “I promise you, they’ll be fine Sloth. Now we should get going, we have work to do.”

Trisha bit her lip but finally nodded, “Yes, your probably right,”

Turning to Glory he said, “C’mon, we’re moving out,”

“One sec,” The blonde replied, before she said to Trisha, “You're new around here so I want to make one thing clear, the pecking order is Master, me, and then you got it?” She then whined in pain when Xander bopped her on the head.

“I’m just a housewife?” Trisha said, pointing at herself in confusion.

“What was that for master?” Glory complained as she looked up at Xander with tears in her eyes.

“What was all that about just now?” he demanded as he raised his fist to strike again.

“I’m just establishing my place in your harem as the head wife,” Seeing the incredulous look on Xander's face she said, “What? It is quite common for demons to be polagamous due to females being naturally attracted to strong males. Is it not also the same for your species of hairless apes?”

“Um, I’m married?” Trisha volunteered awkwardly while raising a hand.

Glory just scoffed, “That didn’t do you much good, did it? Oww! Master, stop doing that! It hurts!”

“Stop being rude then,” Xaider replied, while cracking his knuckles threateningly.

Yet the blonde just shook her head, and pouted with her full lips, “You just don’t get it, neither of you do. But you will, in time. Come on then, you said we should go right?”

Xander sighed, her words sounded ominous but they didn’t have time to debate more than they already had right now, “Yeah just give me a moment to see how this works.”

He imagined his chest opening forming a Gate. His chest split open and a swirling void of hands and eyes lay inside. “All aboard the Xander express.”

“Do we have to?” Glory asked, the idea of going into that thing made her skin crawl.

The sound of a door opening could be heard. “Now!” Xander hissed.

The women fled into his pseudo-gate and then Xander entered it face first, being absorbed into his own stomach. The only thing Pinacko saw was a writhing mass of something collapsing in on itself before it completely disappeared from the scene.

(...)

The trio was spat out in an alleyway. Glory gave her whole body a shake. “Eww, so gross!”

“Would you prefer to have to explain to Pinako how a woman came back from the dead after six years?” Xander replied, giving himself a shake. Collapsing in on oneself was weird even for him.

“No, no!” Trisha quickly replied for Glory, “You did the right thing, trust me,” She sighed and asked, “Where are we?”

“A town on the outskirts of Ametris called Dublith,” Xander replied as he walked off into the night.

Racing to catch up with him, Trisha, asked, “Why are we here?”

Running a hand down his face, Xander replied, “To pick up our next party member,” He counted off on his hands, “You’ve got me the all rounder, you Trisha, are our white mage, Glory will be our Rogue, which means we need our Black Mage.”

“Huh? Do you have any idea what he’s saying Glory?” Trisha asked.

“Not a clue,” The ex-Hell Goddess was just as confused.

“Just follow me and don’t get spotted, alright?” Xander replied as they moved under cover of night.

(...)

The trio found themselves at the local graveyard and followed Xander as he walked amongst the gravestones, paying the mist-covered grounds no mind, his head leisurely looking left and right casually as he peered at the names on the headstones. ‘To him, It's as if he’s taking a walk in the local park’ Trisha noted, ‘How can he be so calm?’ she wondered.

‘I’m too used to graveyards,’ Xander thought to himself as he walked loosely, his body ready to tense at even the slightest sign of shadowy movement in the dark, his head moving ceaselessly so something wouldn’t get the drop on him. He had developed a sort of ‘sixth sense’ for danger and making plans on the fly to get himself out of dangerous situations. He had to, it was a necessary skill to develop if a mere human was going to fight even fledgling vampires. It was the one skill he’d could say he had developed as Alexander Lavelle Harris besides construction work. A skill which had been enhanced dramatically by Wrath’s Ultimate Eye. Combined with Pride’s Shadow manipulation, Xander became a one-man information gathering network that could predict future events with frightening accuracy.

Even now, his shadows were stretching out, plucking little whispers from conversations being held in the dark and low lit rooms. He was learning all kinds of things. He saw Edward scream in agony as Pinako burned his stumps closed to prevent him from bleeding to death, Doctor Marcoh… no, Macou was happily running a clinic in a little village, and he noted Izumi Curtis was currently away traveling at the moment. He was thankful for that particular nugget of information, as he didn’t want her to be around when he did what he was about to do.

He had stopped in front of a headstone labeled, “Sigard Curtis”

He stared down at his silently wondering, ‘Do I really wanna do this?’

“Alexander?” Trisha reached out to him but didn’t quite touch him. “What… are you planning to do?”

“Something that may well be considered blasphemous,” He replied, staring at the headstone. “May God forgive me,” He said before he stomped his foot down and instantly dug a six foot hole, at the bottom of which was a casket fit for an infant. Extending his fingertips, he reached out and plucked the small box from its grave and set it on the lip of the hole.

“Master?” Glory enquired, “What are you going to do with that corpse? Why do you even need that particular corpse?”

“I have my reasons… that which has come from or passed through the Gate of Truth make the best materials,” Xander said as he placed his hand on the lid and began infusing the corpse inside with souls.

For just a moment, in a hazy vision, he saw Truth, grinning at him amusedly. “Back again? So soon? Who now and how much?”

“7500,001 souls. For this, Give me Pride, and for goodness sakes age the kid up a bit, an infant isn’t all that useful.” Xander requested.

“Fair enough.” Truth agreed.

The vision came as soon as it went, and when it cleared, Xander found himself staring at a young boy around ten or eleven, with long shaggy dark hair and purple eyes. His hand was resting on the top of his head, and the boy was looking at him curiously. The first words out of his mouth were, “Papa?”

To which Xander blithely replied, “Oh damn,” He took his hand off the boy’s head, “Look uh, Sigurd…”

“Is that my name, Papa?” The boy asked innocently.

Xander nodded in affirmation, “Yes, but I’m not your papa.”

“Yes you are.” the boy corrected.

Xander huffed, “How do you know that?”

The boy shrugged, “I just… know it somehow. That Papa is papa.”

Xander ran a hand through his rain slicked hair, slicking it back on his head except for a trio of annoying locks up front that refused to cooperate. “Fine, call me that if you want. Anyway, come along Sigurd Superbia Harris, we’ve got work to do.”

“Yes Papa… Papa, I have a question?” He said looking back and seeing the two women following them.

“Yes?” Xander asked, having a feeling he knew what was coming.

Pointing between the two, Sieg asked, “Which one of them is Mama?”

‘And there it is,’ Xander thought to himself, before he replied, “Neither, now come along Sieg.”

“Neither? So does that mean I’m a bastard… is papa a manwhore?”

Xander turned on his heel and corrected the boy, “No! Wait… how do you even know those terms?!”

The boy just shrugged, “I just do? So if I’m not a bastard, then who's my Mama?“

“Uhhh…Uhhh….” Xander didn’t really know what to do in this situation. So he looked to someone who did. ‘Help me!’ He mouthed to Sloth almost pleading.

Covering her mouth with one hand as she giggled, Trisha took a knee and told the boy, “Sieg, your mama is… well…”

“Are you my mama?” He asked innocently.

“I… no dear, why would you think that?” Trisha asked.

“You come off as more of a mama than her,” Sieg pointed at Glory.

Glory glared at the boy. “What was that you talking petri dish?! Come here and say that to my face! I’m perfectly motherly, thank you!”

She proceeded to chase him around the graveyard yelling all the while. As Xander watched he couldn’t help but comment. “Well, I do believe we’ve established the group dynamic.”

“Which is?” Trisha enquired.

“Dad,” He pointed at himself, “Mom,” He nudged her, “Older sister and younger brother,” He nodded to Glory and Seig respectfully.

“Well, they certainly seem to be acting like siblings at least,” Trisha mused. “You know about my circumstances but what about you? Did you have a wife waiting for you?”

“No, I… left her at the altar. I don’t deserve her anyway.” Xander sighed, “You want me to get in contact with that husband of yours? I can.”

“No!...” Trisha paused before saying more calmly, “I mean no please, I have been with Hoenhiem a long time, and in that time, he’s wanted nothing more than an end, a mortal life. If he were to be contacted now he might give up. But then we’d have to watch our sons… She shook her head, “I don’t know if I can do that, watch my boys grow old.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t exactly give you a choice did I?” Xander felt bad to put it mildly.

She waved him off, “No, it's not your fault. You… did what you felt was right. In a way, you remind me of my Van.”

“That Hoenheims first name?” Xander asked casually as he watched Seig and Glory run about the tombstones.

“Yes, Van Hohenheim Elric,” Trisha said. “He was always a deep thinker if not the best at articulating his thoughts.”

“I’m not exactly the opposite, but let’s just say I like my sarcasm and leave it at that,” Xander said while stretching. He then called out to the two, “You two can continue the sibling bonding later! We gotta get going!”

“Why would I want to consider this thing a blood relative?” Glory shouted back.

“She’s definitely not my Mama,” Seig retorted, “Too mean,”

“Why you little!” Glory hissed, “I’ll beat some manners and respect for your betters into you!”

Enough!” Xander barely raised his voice, but it had the intended effect. The two stopped bickering and walked back to the group. “Good, now come along we’re heading off to Central.”

Xander’s chest ripped open revealing the pseudo-Gate once again nestled between his now splayed ribs.

“Why’re we going to Central papa? What is Central? Is my Mama there?” Sieg was full of questions even as he casually walked into the Gate.

“I’ll explain everything once we get there,” Xander promised.

Trisha hesitated, but nodded, “Alright, I’ll trust you,” She too walked through the gate.

Glory though, crossed her arms and glared at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Are you intending to keep me pathetic and weak as a newborn while you continue dole out your powers to those around you?”

Xander narrowed his eyes at her and deadpanned, “I feel like I can trust them, I can’t say the same for you,” He retorted. “How do I know the moment I give you even a little bit of power, you won’t try to stab me in the back?”

To which the former goddess replied flatly, “You don’t. That is a risk every ruler must take. But an even bigger risk is leaving me completely vulnerable and powerless should I need to defend myself. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. I believe that is a human saying yes? One I learned from Ben, and I refuse to be either a weak link, or a damsel in need of rescuing.”

Seeing how adamant she was about this, the Homunculi gave it some thought, ‘Well, she’s not wrong, about any of it… but the thought of handing her the equivalent of a loaded gun terrifies me… but I suppose it's unfair to trample on her pride like this,’ He told her, “100,000. That’s all I’m willing to give you.”

“625,000. That’ll put me ahead of the girl but still below the boy in power. You’ll still have someone who can take me down if you need to, and won’t have to dirty your hands by doing it yourself,” Glory counter offered.

“Fine, but I’m not making you a homunculi.” Xander informed her.

Glory scoffed, “As if I would even want to be one? I could still shit out a better reality than this, and so could you if you bothered to try master,”

Reaching out with a single tendril of shadow and placing it on her brow, Xander transferred the agreed upon amount to Glory. “Don’t disappoint me Glorificus. I’m going out on a limb and putting a lot of faith in you right now. Stab me in the back, and I’ll leave your corpse lying dead in a gutter somewhere.” He promised her.

Glory scoffed, “Please, I’ve been playing this game and making threats since before your species was even a thought in the Creator’s head,” She made to walk through the portal only to pause and finish, “That’s why I know how this game is played. The weak follow and respect the strong watching and waiting for their moment. Besides, only a fool would use a pawn to  overthrow a king.”

‘Did… did she just show me some actual respect?’ Xander wondered to himself as he collapsed into his own Gate.

(...)

Central City was to Xander’s eyes an even more crowded and ramshackle version of New York City. Narrow cobblestone streets and closely built buildings created a maze of narrow alleyways where a mass of crime took place in the shadows, out of the prying eyes of the Military Police. To Xander, who grew up in California and was used to hearing the sound of the ocean and cry of seagulls, he found the place overly crowded with the masses of humanity, the stench of oil and industry, and the scent of gunpowder that seemed to perpetually linger in the air.

“So, this is Central huh?” He said as he looked around. “It kinda stinks doesn’t it?” He noticed people always seemed to be in such a rush in this place. Always in a hurry to get somewhere, or climb some kind of ladder be it physical or metaphorical, ‘These guys just can’t take it easy can they?’

“Why’re we here papa?” Sieg asked as they walked down the street.

“If a country was a living being, then this city would be both the heart and brain, Sieg. If we stayed here long enough and gave people a reason to start talking, we could learn a lot.”

The boy nodded. To him, his father could do or say no wrong. “Okay, so how do we get people to talk to us?”

Xander grinned. Sieg was a curious little thing. He ruffled his hair. “We give them a place to feel comfortable. A nice, warm, safe place with good food and nice drinks.”

Trisha caught on quick enough, “You want to open a bar Alexander?”

He grinned at her wolfishly, “Where better for soldiers to come, relax and should they happen to drink a tad too much perhaps talk about something they shouldn’t?”

Trisha Elric had to admit, it was a good plan. Yet she had to point out the major flaw. “Where will we set up the bar? We have no building, no permits, and no alcohol. Do you even know how to brew drinks or cook for that matter?”

“I can handle the building and the alcohol, as for the cooking… I may need to rely on your expertise for that?” He looked back at her nervously, but also hopefully as he said the last part.

Trisha sighed even as she smiled, “Well, I guess it can’t be helped? Didn’t your parents ever teach you to cook?”

Xander shook his head, laughing at the sheer thought, “Nope, they were too busy drinking away whatever money they made, unfortunately.”

Trisha frowned, ‘Town drunks were parents of such a sweet, self-sacrificing young man?’ She was surprised at how well adjusted he was honestly. ‘They didn’t even teach him how to cook? So… how did he feed himself?’ She wanted to ask, but didn’t want to pry. Still it made her angry, thinking he likely went hungry more often than not. “I’d be happy to show you how to cook if you’d like?”

“That’d be great, Trish! I’d appreciate it.” Xander replied honestly. “It gets embarrassing mooching off my friends after a while,” He mused to himself. “And summer vacation sucks when you don’t know if you're gonna be able to eat, too.”

The more Sloth heard, the harder her nails dug into her palm. The thought of a parent willingly letting their child go hungry just so they could feed their addiction was abhorrent to her. ‘I could never do such a thing to Edward or Alphonse! I do hope they’re doing alright… I’m sure they’re fine, they are their father’s sons after all.’ Feeling a nudge in her side, she looked over to see Glory staring at her. “Yes?” She asked pleasantly.

“What’s got you all pissed?” She asked, “I could practically taste your bloodlust,”

“Just the thought of Alexander having to starve like that, it angers me.” She said softly. “As a mother myself, I could never do that to my own children.”

“Oh… I’ve never had kids. Heard it was painful to reproduce. So I didn’t really see the point in doing something I knew would hurt.” Glorificus wasn’t big on pain, as something that could hurt her was likely capable of killing her.

Trisha giggled, ‘She acts so domineering, but in the end, she’s really still a child herself,’ Trisha thought.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Glory snapped.

Deciding she needed guidance, she said, “I’m not laughing at you, rather, I just realized how young you really are. I had, up until just now, assumed you were a mother as well because we were the same age. But, to answer your question. Yes, it does hurt in the end, during labor but to bring a child into this world, with someone you love… there is no greater joy. Then to slowly watch that child grow before your very eyes… It's indescribable.”

“Love… something indescribable huh?” Glory said thoughtfully. Before the first thing Trisha said registered with her, “I’m not the same age as you! I’m older, much older! So show me more respect damn it!”

“Oh my, my apologies.” Trisha said, covering her mouth with one hand. “I should respect my elders shouldn’t I?”

Glory narrowed her eyes at her suspiciously, “Why do I feel like you're mocking me yet again?”

Trisha said nothing and just silently walked forwards after Xander and Sieg, leaving the much depowered hell goddess silently fuming with her arms crossed by her side.

(...)

Picking up some stones off the side of the road, Xander casually transmuted them into gold before heading into a pawn shop. The old man sitting tiredly at the counter was grizzled, and looked like a veteran, his gray hair in a buzz cut  and yawning tiredly as he raised a hand. “Welcome, what can I do for ya?”

“What can you give me for this mister?” Xander said as he tossed the nuggets on the counter.

“Lieutenant Templeton Arthur Peck,” the man replied before glancing down and saying, “Not a damn thing. Dontcha know it's illegal to transmute gold, kid?”

“These aren’t bars, just nuggets I found from panning.” Xander replied easily.

“Uhuh,” Peck said disbelievingly, “If I was an honest guy, I’d call you into the MP’s.” He then smirked and, as he scooped the gold under the counter, he replied, “Lucky for you, I know honesty is for suckers.”

“So how much will you give me?” Xander asked.

“Sixty cents on the Cenz.” The man replied.

“Seventy-five,”

Seventy,”

“Deal.” The two men shook on it.

Lieutenant Peck smirked, “You drive a hard bargain kid.”

“Alexander, my name's Alexander, Lt.”

The man nodded, “Right, whatchu need this money for anyway?”

“I’m planning on opening a bar,”

That made the man snap his head up. “Oh really? An alchemist opening a bar? Color me intrigued.”

“Alchemist, man of faith, ex-soldier, I’m a lot of things.” Xander admitted. He was religious but to him, faith was just another weapon to be used against his enemies.

“Well Preacher,” Peck said as he placed several stacks of bills on the counter, “When your bar is up and running, you remember who your friends are, yeah?”

“Sure, you at least will drink for free, Lt.” Xander replied, “What’s your handle?”

“Face, my friends call me Face,” the old man said, offering him a hand which Xander shook, noting his strong grip. “They call me… The Seric Steel Alchemist.”

(...)

With the Cenz he obtained from the pawnshop, Xander bought lumber, stone, steel, iron, copper, and as much fruit and sugar as he could carry come sunrise. Storing it all in his pocket dimension, he checked the ‘want ads’ for any available space for rent, and found one not too far off the beaten path. It was on the east side of Central just off the market tucked into an alley. With all of his goods and the deed of ownership paid for in cash, Xander transmuted what was once a two story building, into a rather nice bar, with beds for rent on the top floor.

“Wow, nice job papa, but what are we gonna do with all the fruit and sugar?” Sieg asked, pointing at all the unused produce.

“Help me get it inside to the basement and I’ll show you,” Xander replied as he took two barrels full of fruit, one under each arm, and made his way down into the cellar. The others copied him some carrying barrels while the ladies busied themselves with sacks of sugar. Once they were down in the cool dark of the tavern, Xander instructed Sieg further, “Now, empty a sack of sugar into a barrel and half fill it with water,”

“Okay, any particular one?” The boy asked eager to be of assistance.

“It doesn’t matter pick whichever one you like,” The elder Homunculi replied. Once it was done Xander stood in front of the concoction and clapped his hands together. Not necessary for him, but he needed a moment to think. Plus if he got into the habit of doing that, he could surprise his enemies if he ever had to use alchemy without needing to perform the action. “Right, it should work,” He said to himself as he peeked inside the barrel and noted it was full of a bushel of apples. He pressed his hands against the wooden cask, and it's sparked with electricity. When it was over, Xander and co were looking at an off greenish liquid. Scooping some up with a ladle and tasting it he smirked, “Hard Cider, just like I wanted,” Turning to the others he said, “We’re in business folks!”

“So, let me see if I’ve got this straight,” Glory said going through the steps in her head, “You used Alchemy to make alcohol? Primarily by, what? Rapid decomposition through use of the apples, sugars, and water?”

Xander blinked, “Yeah actually how’d you figure that out?”

“I’m a several millennia old Hell Goddess master, something as simple as Alchemy is child's play to me,” She told him with a smirk.

Amused more than anything he said, “Alright then, you make the next batch,”

“Alright, if there was one thing I’ve enjoyed that you hairless apes have created, it's wine. Do we have any grapes on hand?”

Sieg raised a hand, “Right here big sis!” He proceeded to drag a barrel over to her.

“I don’t recall being related to you…” Glory huffed, “You might make a decent pet, maybe if you can be housebroken.”

“Sister says some funny things Papa,” Sieg noted her words flying over his head. Xander for his part was thankful for his childish innocence.

Giving the blonde a warning look he said, “Yes, she sure does. Well go on Glory,”

“Fine, I will,” She added the sugar and the water before she completed the transmutation and frowned at the result. “White wine? I wanted red! What happened?”

Alexander was quick to ask, “When you transmuted did you transmute the grapes into juice first, or just transmute the grapes as is? I noticed a brief increased luminescence when you transmuted so I thought I’d ask,”

“I juiced the grapes first but why should that matter? Both kinds are made from grapes!” Glory complained.

“Yes, but for red wine, they ferment the whole grape while for white they only do that for grape juice,” Xander explained, “Red wine has a higher tannins count due to this which makes it look and taste completely different.”

“You know a lot about alcohol,” Glory noted.

“My folks were drunks,” Vainglory said with a shrug. “Mom liked wine and cocktails. Dad liked beer, ale, scotch, and liquor, and uncle Rory liked spirits. Then for a while I worked as a bartender. I know how to mix basically any drink under the sun.”

“Do you even drink?” Glory asked,

“Hell no!” He said vehemently, “I’ve seen what it can do to people, so I’m not really all that interested.”

“But you're okay with running a bar?” Trisha asked, concerned this might not be a good avenue for the young man to pursue. Too much temptation.

“Serving drinks is one thing, drinking them myself is another entirely. I’ll be fine,” He assured her. “Now, how soon can you teach me how to cook like you promised?” He inquired, “Cause if I can make drinks with alchemy I bet I can cook with it too. Provided I know what I’m doing in the first place that is,”

Trisha smiled, “Let’s see what we’re working with in the kitchen first shall we?”

(...)

The kitchen looked just like Xander had envisioned in his head. Island counter in the middle of the room under which pots and pans hung on hooks. Plenty of wooden counter space circled the walls, while cupboards and drawers were above and below respectively. A large square of black iron took up a three foot space in front of a small order window. A flat top grill for cooking enmasse.

“Wow…!” Trisha gasped like a kid on christmas morning. “Now this is a kitchen! Ohh, I wish I had this in my old home! So much counter space, and space for groceries, and… Sorry!” She apologized. “When you’re looking after two growing boys, it takes a lot, hehehe.”

“It's fine, I get it…Well, not really, but you know what I mean,” Xander replied as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“No you're fine,” She replied embarrassed as she waved him off, “Anyway… if we’re going to cook, we need ingredients. The one thing you didn’t buy,”

“...Yeah, Sieg, I’ve got a job for you,” Xander said turning to the boy.

“Yes Papa sir!” He said, coming to attention.

Xander resisted the urge to sigh. Instead, he told the boy, “You don’t need to do that… in fact, where’d you even learn to do that?”

“I saw a couple of men in blue coats doing it to someone else. They called him sir.”

“Right, well you’re not in the military, so you don’t need to do that,” Reaching into his pocket he handed the boy the last few thousand Cenz he had, “Go to the market and get twelve eggs, a loaf of bread, and bag of flour and a jug of milk, okay?”

“Twelve eggs, loaf of bread, bag of flour, jug of milk. Got it!” The boy said accepting the money like it was something sacred before he ran off.

After a moment Glory sighed as if annoyed and turned on her heel as if making to leave.

“Where are you going, Glory?” Xander called after her.

“To keep an eye on my new excitable puppy. He’s going to get lost and not remember what you sent him out to get most likely,” The blonde called back over her shoulder, “Besides, doesn't this city have laws against letting pets go around without leashes?”

Xander shook his head, “That child… I can’t tell if she’s being serious or trying to hide the fact she actually cares?”

“I think she might care… just a little,” Trisha said as she held her hand up with a small gap between her finger and thumb. “Very, very little, way, way deep down.”

The construction worker chuckled, “What makes you say that?”

“Call it…” Trisha paused and put a finger on her chin, “Women's intuition,”

He knew better than to argue when a lady used that phrase. “Okay fair enough,” He then said, “We each have our own rooms, they’re on the third floor, beyond the rentable guestrooms.”

“That’s so sweet of you to think of us,” Trisha told him.

“It’s nothing, before… this,” He waved a hand down at his form, “I was a construction worker, so building things, chemistry, cooking, it all just kinda… makes sense to me, he was used to being dead tired on his feet by now, but, being a homunculus he didn’t tire, or age, or die. “Tell the kids to put the stuff in the fridge when they get back. Trish, I know I don’t need to, but I want to take a nap.”

“Alright Alex, we can have our first lesson when you wake up, pleasant dreams,” She told him sweetly.

“Ha! That’ll be a first, but thanks all the same, Trish. Night.” he said, waving goodnight without looking back, never seeing Sloth frown in both anger and discontent. Once again her nails digging into her palm. Yet again, none of this was aimed at the young man in question, but the people who had inflicted torments both known and unknown upon him.

‘But what can I do?’ She asked herself, ‘I’m just a housewife… or I was,’ she thought as she looked down at her hands. “I’m a Homunculi now, so that means… I should be capable of doing something… right?” she muttered to herself. She looked down at her hands, “If Xander can raise homunculi, and transmute alcohol, then I should be able to do something even if it's simple right?” Trisha thought back, to her time with Van Hohenheim, something he might’ve mentioned.

“Human are carbon based lifeforms, and our bodies are our made of seventy percent water,”

“That’s it!” She said bopping a fist into the flat of her palm, “I should be able to do this at least,”

She went over to a piece of random wood, and clasped her hands together in silent prayer. ‘Please work, please work, please work!’ She hoped. She then reached out and touched the wood…

To her shock and awe, moisture gathered in her palm, and yet, as she watched, the wood aged rapidly, becoming dry, brittle, deadwood, under her touch. By the time she pulled her hand away, she had a large marble’s worth of liquid floating in her palm and the wood had become so much fine sawdust powder on the floor. Letting the liquid sphere fall from her hands, Trisha said to herself, “I… can use this. This can be helpful. But also… a dangerous weapon if used improperly. I just need to be careful. That’s all.”

“Someone’s been busy I see,”

Trisha’s head snapped up at the voice. Glory had returned with Sieg, a basket under one arm filled with eggs. She looked at the sawdust on the floor and the wet spot rapidly soaking into the cold stone. “Interesting use of fluid manipulation. Dehydration can be used in cooking, and it's a very painful way to kill someone too.”

“I don’t know if I have it in me to kill anyone,” Trisha said, hearing Glory scoff, she asked, “What’s so funny?”

“You hairless apes have been killing each other since the Creator brought you into existence. First Cain killed his brother Abel, and ever since your kind has known the rush, the thrill of murder and combat. You’ll kill for food, land, power, prestige, and mates. You’ve been doing it since forever. So don’t say you can’t kill anyone, when it's more apt to say you haven’t been put in a situation where you’ve had no choice but to kill someone yet.” She then asked, “Where is master?”

“Sleeping, he said even though he doesn’t need to, he would like to rest,”

Glory sighed, “Such an odd master I have,”

“Why do you call him that? Master I mean?” Trisha asked.

Glory pressed her fingers to her temples, “Its an ancient tradition among demonkind for one to be drained of their power but not killed, is considered the ultimate humiliation. For they are considered property, no less than a living trophy to be paraded about by their conqueror.”

“So in essence, you are Alexander’s slave?”

“More or less,” Glory growled out.

“And being his concubine would be an improvement, I take it?” She guessed.

“Most certainly a  concubine has better privileges and status. I am a symbol of power. Harm me and you threaten and besmirch my master’s name? Alexander is bound by power and responsibility to defend me as his concubine.”

“Does he even know he owns you as a slave?”

Glory hissed through her teeth, “No… and you’d better not tell him either if you know what’s good for you!” The blonde threatened.

Trisha held up her hands defensively, “No, it's not my business… but Glory, if you want him to love you… you can’t build a relationship on a lie. Relationships need to be built on trust. And the only way you can get him to trust you, is if you open up to him, and are honest with him.”

“B-But if I do that, he’ll know I’m his slave, he might just treat me like one!” She sounded almost fearful at the prospect.

The housewife nodded, “He might, but has he actually done anything evil towards you since you’ve begun your adventure here?”

Glory almost complained about the choking he gave her when they first arrived, but thinking back on it, not only was she his enemy minutes prior but… and she would never admit this to anyone, but she kind of enjoyed being helpless and at another's mercy. She was utterly terrified, and yet, it sent a thrilling jolt through her. ‘Yeah not gonna tell him that either,’ She decided. Instead, she shook her head, “No,”

“Well then, what’s the harm in telling him when he wakes up from his nap of course.”

Glory sighed, ever since she’d arrived here she’d… felt things. Feelings she’d never felt before. Feelings unbecoming of a Hell Goddess. Worry for others besides herself, primarily her master.  Annoyed at the woman before her yet also an odd yearning for her advice. Then there was the boy… the boy she felt an annoyed kinship with. Half the time she couldn’t decide if she wanted to flay the skin off his back, or keep a leash around his neck to keep him close and out of trouble! ‘Am I perhaps allergic to something in this dimension?’ She wondered, ‘Is something making me feel things I usually wouldn’t?’

“Don’t worry so much,” Trisha advised, “It’ll all sort itself out in time, things like this always do.” She assured Glory in a knowing tone.

“I’ll take your word for it Sloth,” Glory replied before heading back upstairs to keep the boy from making too much noise so Master could rest properly. When he awoke, they had plans to make.

(...)

Xander was discovering there was a damn good reason that homunculi didn’t sleep. The moment he dozed off, he was assailed by billions upon billions of souls within his body that attempted to take control of his body for their own. Amidst this swirling vortex of screams, pain, and agony, he heard a familiar voice.

“Xander dear, you need to wake up, now!”

“The hell? Was that… Joyce?” Xander asked himself above the screams.

“Mister Harris, stop dawdling, and wake the hell up!” Another familiar voice demanded.

“Miss Calendar?!” Xander asked as he looked around the mass of screaming souls.

“C’mon Xan-man, you gotta be better than this,”

“JESSIE?!” He called above the fevor of the damned.

“No time to be caught lacking X-man, you got work to do, also you and Cordelia? Nice!” Jessie commented, “Though I gotta be honest, I think that blondie followin’ you around digs you man, just sayin’. Now wake the fuck up!”

Xander’s eyes snapped open and he sat up with a jolt. “What the fuck kinda dream was that?!” He asked himself.

“Yeah dream, let’s go with that Xan-man.”

“Jessie?” He asked as he looked around, “Where are you?” He then buried his face in his hands and started to laugh, “Finally after all the shit I’ve gone through, I’ve finally lost it?”

“No, dingus, you're alive, and mentally sound… ish. Just look in the damn mirror over there,” Jessie’s voice in his head pressed him.

Xander, before falling asleep, had converted some wood and wool into a bed and some bronze and glass into a full length mirror so he could get dressed again. Looking into it now, he saw his form for the first time. He was muscular more so, but not to the point of being a bodybuilder. He had Ouroboros tattoos on the backs of both hands, on his collarbone, and on his left eye in place of an iris or pupil. Sticking out his tongue, he found he had one there as well. But after a moment, the reflection changed to that of Jessie McNally, as he last saw him. He was gawky and awkward, trying to hard to look cool in a jacket with too much hair gel in his hair and torn jeans. He looked like he just stepped outta Grease.

“Jess, it is you…” Xander put his hand on the glass. It was a gesture Jessie reciprocated.

“Hey X, you look pretty good man,” He told him, “I guess fighting demons puts on muscle huh?”

“How… Why… Truth told me you were in purgatory?” He finally managed to get out.

Jessie smiled wanly, “A place that is neither heaven nor hell… where souls sit in torment. That sounds like a philosopher's stone to me, how bout you?”

Xander scowled, “He lied to me!”

Jessie shook his head, “No, he didn’t. He just told a half-truth. I am in purgatory. Of a sort.”

“It's not just you… Miss Calendar, Joyce too,” Xander realized. “How, why?”

The bitter smile never left. “Well that’s the thing man, when you die on the hellmouth, you don’t usually get to go to heaven or hell, you just kinda get stuck… between.”

“Huh?” Xanders reply was oh so eloquent.

Jessie sighed, “The hellmouth is magically sealed but partially open right?”

Uhuh, and?” Xander said following so far.

“And, since it leads to multiple hell dimensions when someone dies they’re automatically pulled towards hell… but its sealed, meaning the soul can’t get to hell, but they can’t get to heaven either unless they’re really lucky and have been previously marked by the Powers That Be before coming onto the Hellmouth or something.”

It was all coming together for Xander, “So what you guys were just… stuck?”

Jessie shrugged, nodding, “Yeah pretty much. Couldn’t go to hell, couldn’t get to heaven. We were just kinda trapped, unable to help, be seen, or interact with the living, and to top it all off, we were slowly being corrupted into something evil by the innate wickedness of the Hellmouth.”

“And when the portals all opened, instead of going to heaven or hell you?” Xander pressed.

“Got sucked into the Gate of Truth and made apart of your philosopher's stone along with all the souls Glory had on her, and every other soul that’s ever killed, been killed, or haunted our little slice of Sunnyhell over the past two-hundred years,”

Xander buried his head in his hands, “What, what the hell am I supposed to do with this information Jessie? I was fine with using the souls before because I thought they were all demons! Knowing now that who knows how many are human victims along with Joyce, Jenny, and you in there, and I… I dunno if I can do this. Seriously man, I don’t think I can go through with this.”

“You can and you will Xander!” Jessie said sharply, “Do you know why?” Seeing his brother figure shake his head, he continued, “Because you're a fighter, a survivor, someone who, when the chips are down and people are in danger, you’ll do the right thing and keep them safe. Even if it means doing the wrong thing to do it. Don’t worry about us Xander, we’re already dead. There’s no helping us. Mourn the dead, remember them, remember us, but don’t stop moving forward. Save the living. Them, you can still help. Remember that dude.” He said as he began to slowly fade from the reflection on the mirror.

“Jessie? Jess what’s happening?!” Xander asked frantically as it felt like he was losing his brother all over again.

“Hard to keep this up… takes more… energy… than… I thought. Talk again… later…” Jessie promised before he faded away completely.

By the time Jessie had disappeared completely Xander was on his knees, head pressed against the cool glass of the mirror, as tears fell from his eyes. “They’re alive… Thank God, they're alive.”

(...)

Word Count: 11,706   Number of Pages: 27   Date Completed: 2/4/2023

AN: Another one for the Fic Idea Vault! I rather like this one! It's not Yet Another Halloween Fic for one, it's original, it still has Xander as the main character, but he’s still a badass and I’m happy with it. I hope you all feel the same. Now, here’s Snowy and First Hassan with their rivviting commentary. Take it away Snowy!

Snowy: