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Watch Rae, and QT react to YOUR call in confessions! Call this number to leave your own confession: ‪(213) 537-9025‬ or write in https://forms.gle/LHGQB16am3TfvXcW7

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kron

I'm a man so skip this if you want. Getting a baby via surrogacy is a private matter and I think it's silly for people to say "they are doing it because of their vanity" "they are healthy and should just have a baby" which are ridiculous assumptions you shouldn't say about a person unless you know them. That being said I think this is cultural backlash to instances of surrogates being overexploited and having their privacy invaded by the intended parent. For instance that Wired article about Cindy Bi, which was more of an extreme example. An average surrogate might experience 1/100th of what the surrogate in that story endured. QT should ask Caroline about that article. While there can be good and bad instances of surrogacy, laws do currently favor the intended parent pretty aggressively so there is a power imbalance that needs to be kept in mind. I think the precedent being set by Dobbs that the government can own your body and control your decisions while pregnant, may have had cultural ramifications on the views around modern surrogacy, and led some women, especially women on the right, or the tech/academic elite, to think that they own the surrogate's body for the duration of the pregnancy or at a minimum should have mechanisms of control over their activity, diet, schedule, etc. It will be interesting and exhausting to see ridiculous and possibly reactionary discourse like the Meghan Trainor thing get thrown around while everyone tries to understand the underlying reasons for why elements of the process as it exists in America (and even some states more than others) feel unfair or exploitative.

Davidrthe2nd

Rae! The women’s pregnancy highly depends on the men’s health. So your sisters husband probably leads a very clean and healthy life, at least ahead of trying for a baby. Morning sickness, odd cravings, mental fog, memory issues, as well as other issues and complications during pregnancy highly highly depends on the man’s health 6-3 months before conception. So no hot tubs, no drugs, no nicotine, no laptops on laps, correct diet, clean bodily microbiome, all sorts of things. There’s whole doctors that specialize in this area. But all evidence shows that chance of pregnancy and pregnancy quality is like 90% on the man.

Davidrthe2nd

While the health of the child for the rest of its life is largely determined on the mother’s health, environment, diet during the pregnancy. And of course lifetime health history and genetic factors of both parents plays a role as well. But the year-6 months and during the pregnancy are the most key times for both the mother and father to dial in their health. Of course for surrogacy, that means the time before and during the egg harvesting, and the surrogate themselves. While the man’s time frame remains the same before they give their.. donation of genetic material

Callie Rousseau

The surrogacy discourse is so crazy to me. Before having kids I always said I would do it for family or friends but that’s it cause how could you handle that. But the second I had my twins I immediately knew I wanted to be a surrogate in the future. I think it’s so beautiful to be able to help another family. My kids truly did change me in so many ways that it breaks my heart to think about people who can’t do that on their own. I haven’t gotten to be a gestational carrier yet but I’m in the process of starting!! And one of my closest friends has been a surrogate 3 times and has had wonderful experiences and loves getting to do it.

Callie Rousseau

Also yes it’s so hard not to post my kids because I’m so obsessed with them like I want everyone to see them but PLEASE do not post your kids on the internet even if you think no one will see it, they will. The world is too fucked up and it’s our job to protect our kids