Mile High Club (Patreon)

Well maybe this will teach you some manners. I can tell by that dumb smirk on your face when you asked me that you thought you were being terribly clever. But do you REALLY think that I, a Flight Attendant, have never been asked to be in the Mile High Club? First off, I absolutely am a member, and have been for quite some time. I bet I taking my ‘entrance exam’ when you were still studying for your high school math class! And frankly, it’s insulting to think that YOU of all people had a shot with me. Please, did you even look at me? I’m so out of your league that we are playing different sports! I will say though, you do make a very cute pair of heels! You really are adorable! And comfortable too! I don’t think I’ve every had a more comfortable pair of work shoes! In this job we’re on our feet constantly, but we still have to look cute, its exhausting! I really should have thought of getting myself some human-shoes, everyone knows they are more comfortable! Alright, just because I can hear you in my head doesn’t mean I want to listen to you whining all the time, so can you knock it off. It’s kind of funny to hear you panic like that, but I can only take so much! Yes, yes I really did turn you into shoes. Can we get past the point when you ‘can’t believe it?’ This is your reality now. Well of course it hurts! What did you think it was going to be like? I’m putting my whole weight on you with every step! No, I don’t plan on turning you back into a human, why would I want to unleash someone like you on the world? No, you’re sooo much better off as a comfortable pair of shoes than you are as a human. Now I need to get back to work, we have a long flight ahead of us, but you know that! You booked a flight from New York to Dan Diego. That’s a five-hour flight, so you better get used to carrying my weight. And then I have to turn around and do it all again, so you’re staring down the barrel of twelve straight hours on my feet!