Accountant to Sports Bra: Patreon Exclusive (Patreon)

In response to the poll I posted last night, here it is!

Remember that every Patron can request 4 captions per month in the "Collections" page! If you want something spicier than this, just send in that request!

CAPTION TEXT:

Damn it, I’m sorry Jenny. I shouldn’t have lied, just stop this, please!

“No, you had your chance to be a good person. I talked to you twice to stop badmouthing me to the bosses, and nothing ever changed. Maybe as my sports bra, you’ll learn a bit about being supportive!”

Come on, I can TASTE your sweat, this is disgusting! You can’t do this to me!

“After all you’ve done to me you’re LUCKY this is all I’m doing to you. Competing for a promotion is one thing, but you lied about the Franklin account. I busted my ass for months on that! Then you swoop in and take credit for the whole thing?”

Okay, you’re right, if you let me, I’ll talk to them, I’ll tell them everything, that I was lying, that I took all the credit for your work, all of it. Just give me a chance!

“Hmm, let me think about it while I get another session on the treadmill!”

No please! Your last run hurt so bad, you bounced so much I could barely hold on!

“Oh quiet, you’re just a sports bra now, holding my bouncing tits is your only job!”

But, but I said I would talk to the bosses, explain everything!

“Yeah I was thinking about that and I figured I have two options: either I take you at your word and risk giving you the chance to backstab me again, OR I just leave you as a bra and accept the promotion! No one else is up for it after all.”

Wait, no you wouldn’t LEAVE me like this would you!

“Oh I would. But I have to say, you’re just as bad of a bra than you as an accountant, Dave. Arguing with my clothing isn’t really how I wanted to spend my time at the gym.”

So turn me back! I swear I’ll do a better job at work! I’ll leave you alone, I‘ll never talk to or even ABOUT you, please don’t leave me as your gross sweaty clothing!

“Alright, so here’s the deal, I’m about to get on the treadmill, but I really can’t have you whining and complaining about ‘how much it hurts’ and ‘how sweaty you’re getting,’ so keep it down this time, will you?”

Why would I do that! You’re torturing me, why should I make it better for you?

“Because if you say a single word from now until I get home, I am going to leave you in the locker room. No one else can hear you after all.”

...

“Good, keep that up and MAYBE I’ll consider letting you be human again...”