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A little note regarding my lack of updates (Patreon)

Published:
2023-10-01 03:12:48
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Hi everyone, I'm deeply apologetic for having essentially disappeared this month and wanted to write this so I could say sorry to all of you. As I've said before, I don't really like sharing more than needed when it comes to my personal life, but lately I've been dealing with health and eating problems and a lot of anxiety and heavy panic attacks regarding that, to the point of not being able to sleep at all multiple nights. By now I've been to the doctor and have gotten lab tests and things are not particularly serious after all (I do have health issues that are manageable, but the biggest problem seems to be that my anxiety has gotten much worse in the past month and I've developed a brief choking phobia + swallowing problems that has made it nearly impossible for me to eat and sleep properly for a couple of weeks). Because of that I've also been given strong medication to help me calm down and be able to eat again, and it has more or less kept me drowsy and not really "there" for most of the day, but my body's finally adapting a bit to the medication and the doctor's lowering my dose this week so i should be back to normal while treating my other issues and all should be okay

That said, I feel terrible that I wasn't able to meet my schedule this month at all, especially when I look back and feel like my issues are a little bit silly, so I want to properly apologize to all of you for that and my extreme lack of discipline. I had a lot of plans that I hoped to do this month, being that it's been a year since i started my patreon and all, and I feel like I've completely failed at delivering what you deserved and give you your money's worth

I will do my best put extra effort on october to make up for this, and as an extra note for my T3 patrons: the montly fanart poll should be up now, though unfortunately the winner fanart won't be ready until the first couple of days of october, but we'll also have another separate poll on october so we can completely catch up with everything

Again I'm really sorry for the inconvenience I've caused, I will do my best effort from now on and I'm thankful for your understanding, support and patience, please take care everyone ♡

Comments

Erick Sheldon

Holy shit… I just hope everything turns out okay ❤️❤️

Proswagonist

Please take care. Wishing you the best.

MrWackyMeal

I'm glad you're doing better! dont overwork yourself, we can be patient

Groggy

Your issues are not silly. Anxiety is no joke, and I'm really sorry you're having to deal with all this.

Christopher Hill

So sorry to hear about all your health problems! But definitely take care of yourself first, you can't do good work if you don't feel good! Wishing you the best and fr don't overwork yourself ❤️

KryptonSprout

Feel better crema we love you 💖💕💓💞

024arw

You come first! Take care of yourself and do what you need to! As someone who also has medical issues that affect my sleep, eating, etc. please please please do what you need to!! You don't owe anyone anything and while I get that it sucks and is disheartening to not be able to get plans done, that's ok! Do what you were gonna do anyway! Better late than never especially when your health is involved! 💜🩵

lain

You haven’t failed at all <3 Anxiety can be totally debilitating, please take all the time you need to relax and heal. I hope you feel better soon.

SandwicHouse

As if anyone would have an issue with this. Your health comes first and we're all very patient. Take care Crema 💖

Asura_ex0

PLEASE prioritize your health, it’s 100% okay! you didn’t fail, don’t even worry. take your time

Z

Take care of yourself! Don’t belittle what you’re going through. Anxiety and eating disorders are rough. We’re here to support you even through your hard times! I hope you feel better, but don’t let us be another source of anxiety for you.

Grobolos

No worries dawg your health is way more important. Don’t feel sorry ❤️🙏

Zac Haslem

Nothing else in life’s takes higher priority than these things. You’ll be alright

Amadis Anguiano

Hi Cremanata, Unfortunately today is my last day being able to be one of your patreons. I have been lucky enough to pledge to you since you opened your patreon, and I have loved seeing additional pieces of your art through it. I have run out of savings, though, and had to admit to myself at the start of this month that I could not find ways to keep my patreon pledges any longer. Five years ago I was diagnosed with Major Depression, which had been affecting me my whole life but I never got help with until then. After some trial and error, my psychiatrists were able to help me with a pair of medications that helped me keep my depression and sleep schedule stable, and in turn after a few years my psychiatrists and I discovered that my Major Depression had been masking an additional underlying Inattentive ADHD diagnosis, and I was prescribed a third medication on top of the other two I was taking. Luckily they all played well together, though all three did take a while for my body to get used to, and there has been quite a bit of dosage regulating to figure out what amount these medications would be the most effective with the least side effects. However, while all of these help keep me from going into mental places I shouldn't, what they have not helped me with is finding the motivation to take care of myself, including eating. Over the passed few months I have lost fifteen pounds, going from a BMI of 19.2 down to 17, and my therapist and primary doctor are worried that it could have affected by physical health, or that there might be something else going on. On Monday I have been scheduled to go in for a CT scan to rule anything it can out. I wanted to share all this with you, and anyone else who it might help, because your issues are not silly. Mental health can have extreme impacts on eating and physical health, and not just through anorexia and bulimia. Anxiety and depression are things that affect a lot of people in the ways they have affected you, more so than we often hear about, and so I wanted to let you know while I have the chance that I can relate in some way to you on this matter. I do not believe you lack discipline, nor that you failed anyone or caused any inconveniences. Your efforts deserve all the support you get and more. Your art brings smiles to a lot of people's faces, including mine, and I will keep looking forward to enjoying your art that anyone else would be able to see, too. It was a privileged to get to see even more pieces of your art here while I was able to, and I hope even more people get the opportunity to pledge to you and see more as well. Please take care, and I am glad you have fans that care about you

Quillmonger

As someone with anxiety and depression and who recently lost my job, I can tell you that these things happen and I didn't feel like you were neglecting your patreon at all, your health comes first, don't over work yourself.

gkr

We got rebecca, lucy, starfire and that amazing peach this month. That's an amazing bargain for a couple of bucks. but. it's ok to have bad month. Maybe not everyone think like me, but I don't give money for the rewards first. I give so you have a bit of stability in your life first. In exchange you have less anxiety and you are able to share more art. But even if you had a really bad month where you can't share anything, I'm ok with still giving. As an investssment in the futur. Again, that peach was amazing and the other are nice too. Please take care of yourself and let us reduce a bit the money burden.

bungbino

You are incredible to keep up the way you do! Dont ever apologize for having a rough time. Whether physical pain, mental pain, it is all valid. We people arent built to put work first, so always take care of yourself and put YOU first. 😄

LavenderDreams

You’re already doing absolutely amazing, take care of urself!

jay

At the risk of repeating what's already been said a few times: what you're going through isn't silly, even if it has (thankfully) turned out to be manageable. Like gkr said, I personally give so you can have some stability. You deserve to be able to care for yourself without having to worry about producing. I would literally rather burn my money than have it negatively impact your health. I hope you feel better soon. Until you do though, please don't push yourself.

Tytanyx

No worries Crema, your health always comes first. You don't need to force yourself, you can also pause for a month if needed. The most important thing is that you're doing well

teewhyefftee

crema oh my god this sounds serious as hell!!! if it's impacting your life so much its a very serious thing indeed!! I'm just one girl online but please please prioritize your health and getting used to medication and such, if anything you did fantastic with that ribbons peach (it was so so good dog). Anxiety is nothing to sneeze at and it does some very irrational things to us, so I wouldn't say it's silly at all to deal with it! I can confirm getting help is more important and not at all silly, and I'm glad that you're starting to get better!! Wishing you a full recovery, excited to see what else you have in store—when you're ready of course! Take care!! 💜💜

J. C.

These aren’t silly issues at all—you’re absolutely right to be putting your health and well-being first!! I’m wishing you the best!!

Max Azarskov

Health always comes first, take all the time you need!

Laura

have panic attacks too, it can be really debilitating when its at its worst. taking your time and caring for yourself are key. no need to apologize <33

Laura

（￣︶￣）↗💖💖

MBD

I don't ever comment on patreon, but we're literally all gathered here for smut. Our opinions don't matter more than your health.

Daniel Blom Paulsen

Stop, stop, STOP, you have NOTHING to apologize for! Mental health IS SERIOUS, no matter how "silly" it might seem! And I promise you, you do NOT lack discipline! I struggle with anxiety myself. I had a complete breakdown a few years ago because I was pushing myself way too hard - also from a sense of "discipline". But from that experience I learned how warped my perspective was - I wasn't struggling because I lacked discipline, I was struggling because I had TOO MUCH "discpline", i.e. I felt the need to keep pushing myself way beyond my own limits. As for "silly" mental health struggles, just a few months ago I had another massive anxiety breakdown that had a number of similarities to what you're describing: It was caused by the triggering of a trauma stemming from food poisoning, and I can tell you I felt "silly" for suddenly feeling massive anxiety about something so "mundane". I had my anxiety medication more than DOUBLED (I was briefly on another type of anxiety medication that also just knocked me out), and I'm only now starting to feel properly like myself again mentally (and even then I'm certainly not unmarked by it). Sorry for the thesis, but my point is that you have to be KIND to yourself. Be patient with yourself, and don't denigrate yourself - your struggles are not "silly", and you don't lack discipline; anxiety is no joke, and you are taking the necessary time and energy to rest and care for yourself. 💚