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Sapphic Oscillation [Draft 4] (Patreon)

Published:
2024-09-29 01:26:59
Edited:
2024-09-29 01:28:58
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Downloads

Content

Okay, so I cut the ending, and then used one of my different takes for the part that sounded empty, then did some real funky pitch correction with it so...let me know what you think. Cuz it's weird. Like real weird.

Seriously, if there are parts you REALLY like, give me timestamps. If there are parts that sound like shit, TELL ME. I need to know. It's important that I do this song right.

And yes, I HEAR THE POPS. I HEAR THEM EVERYWHERE NOW. THEY HAUNT ME IN MY SLEEP. I'm not sure if there's something wrong with my equipment or if it's something I'm doing in reaper (maybe I missed a crossfade?) but it's making me feel like SUCH AN AMATUER (I am that, don't get me wrong, but I like to pretend I know what I'm doing 😉)

_Sapphic call to actionI'd rather not be catchin'Feelings but IFind you so distractin'

Sapphic interactionI scoff at your attractionActin' like I don't care much butCrave your slight infraction

It's not like I like you or anythingSwear there's no deeper meaningDon't think you've got me figured outI could chew you up and spit you out

Sapphic satisfactionI'm hiding my reactionsRolling eyes while blushing red inTender contradiction

Sapphic confrontationI tease with hesitationWords are sharp but my heart holdsA guarded fascination

It's not like I like you or anythingSwear there's no deeper meaningDon't think you've got me figured outI could chew you up and spit you out

Walls I've built are paper-thinYou slip through and touch withinMaybe I don't mind the chaseMaybe we're the perfect case

Sapphic oscillationBetween cold and elationYou see through the games I playIn quiet revelation

Sapphic revelationI drop the masquerationLetting go of all pretenseEmbracing this sensation

Okay maybe I like you a little bitBut I still think you're just an idiotDon't think you've got me figured outI'll still chew you up and spit you out

_Commissioned by Phee

Files

Comments

apmoore94

I'll take a listen when I get home, currently a bit busy being a nerd 😅

apmoore94

Airsoft/Paintball nerd. It's an easy way to get cardio without hating my life running 🥲

apmoore94

Oh I know. I just tell people it's the only way to *legally* shoot people 😂

apmoore94

Well, when you're stateside..... 🤷‍♂️😂😂

Finnrock

Let me start by saying I think this top 10, maybe even top 5. Now, let me hit you with a poorly formatted wall of text The first verse sounds like "callder action" IDK if your voice blended with one of the instruments or you missed a letter, but I hear it every time. the pitch up at "a guarded fascination" 0:53 doesn't sound right. Consider keeping the pitch the same and adding a simple pause after the measure to let the softer feelings sink in, then hit the next measure extra hard to regain composure. Additionally, I like the duplicate voices for this part in V3. Something bassy cuts out at 1:19 after "perfect case" and stays out for the rest of the song. My ears miss it. I like the pause after "in quiet revelation" The fade in before "ok maybe I like you a little bit" at 1:40 is too noticeable. The fade out at the end is too long, consider one measure of the fade out and then hit with one more really energetic chorus switch the first and second choruses, currently the first has more energy but it feels out of place (or they are copy paste and I don't have functional ears) +100 cookies for the word masqueration lyrical mismatch between written and spoken: feelings but you just keep on distracting acting like I don't care much I crave your slight infraction Ok, wall of text over. Again, I want to stress that this song is awesome. It's the right level of energy, aggression, and lyrical complexity, and I love it.

Charli Morgan

I think this song might be beyond salvaging. I can't do acoustic sounds well so while it breaks my heart, the only way I think I can make this work is by starting over. From the beginning. In a genre I understand. And I'm sorry. I... I simply don't know if I can fix it and I've never made a good song that took a lot of effort. All my good songs are effortless; either I know exactly what to do or I don't. It is beyond hope. Beyond it! I'm gonna cry now. Thanks for your input everyone and know this wasn't because of anything anyone said. I was already on the fence about trashing it and so I will. Something better will come in its place. Something that's within my limited capabilities. If I keep trying, I'm going to to spiral. Thank you for your patience and understanding. 🤍

apmoore94

I just got the chance to listen to it, too 😭😭 I like this version, with only one minor recommendation. But if you're not a fan of it, you do you. I know wherever you go with this will be great, even if you don't believe it yourself!

Charli Morgan

It's dead now 🙂 Abandoned. Forgotten. Into the archive of death. Trying a different approach 🙂

Tildorath

Love it over all, but 2 bits feel odd/out of place. 0.55 the echo feels odd, the idea is cool but just feels off. Other bit is at 1.30 the hard break before you come back is a little jarring. Other than that I'm loving the vibe and energy! I hope you don't shelf it

Charli Morgan

I'm shelving it 🫠 There's just too much wrong with this one that I'd have to start from scratch to fix it, and if I'm going to start over, I want it to be in a genre I know how to work in. If I keep trying to make this work, I'm going to spiral into sad girl mode and give up 😫

Alison

I need to show this to one of my partners. This is literally her 😂 Also might be me but we don’t need to talk about that…

Charli Morgan

😂 Yeah, I think I might have a hit kn my hands with this for sure. If that's you're reaction

Alison

Official Sapphic tester. That’s me.