Bonus Sneak Peek: Wandering Monsters 2 (Patreon)

I am incredibly grateful for how this Patreon has taken off. As such, I figured I'd add a bonus sneak peek this month to show the other book I'm working on: Wandering Monsters 2.

I also wanted to show off this pic of the whole cast: Shady Tooth, the knife-fighting lady bugbear, Teryn the bandit, Scars of No-Clan, War Cloud the gnoll, a goblin named DigDig and Yargol who is, um...complicated. The art is a commission by the awesome Amy King, who also happens to be here on Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/sephiramy/overview 

Anyway, if you haven't checked out Wandering Monsters and you want a feel for the tone, I thought I'd provide this one as a bonus for all patrons regardless of tier. Thank you again for all your support!

“This is some creepy magic nonsense. I don’t know any more about what we’re dealing with here than you do,” said Scars.

“Not sure that’s true. Yargol told us how you knew so much about the druids,” said Shady Tooth. She folded her burly arms over her dark chest. “Sounds like you’d know a lot about this sort of nonsense, too.”

“I know Dad’s stories,” the half-orc sighed. “Mom’s, too, but she usually cut to the funny parts. She didn’t try to use stories to teach as often as he did.”

“I think I like her better.”

“I dunno, you might have liked my dad. He was a charming guy.”

“We’re not gonna give that a lot of thought,” said Shady Tooth. “Anyway, what did he have to say about stuff like this?”

“Not much. Only that it always goes bad and it’s always the worst. You’ve got your undead, your dragons, your evil wizards, your personal feuds...and he said any of that is better than this sort of extradimensional tentacle shit. You can’t always hack and slash your way through it. There’s always another tentacle. The worst part is, sometimes these things offer crazy magic powers to anyone dumb enough to accept. And it always knows how to find the one idiot in the party who can’t leave bad candy on the table even when it’s got a label and it’s covered in mold and everyone else around the table is dead.”

“Candy’s still candy,” said DigDig.

Scars slapped his hand over his own face. “Damn it. DigDig, no.”

“Could just brush it off. Maybe wash it.”

“The candy is made of lies,” said Scars.

“Usually is.”

“This candy eats you and all of your friends and when you die everyone hates you.”

DigDig frowned. “Think you’ve got the wrong idea about candy. Were your parents mean?”