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Let's talk about sex (writing) (Patreon)

Published:
2020-07-27 16:38:15
Edited:
2020-07-27 16:40:30
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Hi all,

After a couple questions on my last post, I've been thinking more about doing some sort of piece on what I've learned about writing erotica, smut, sex scenes, porn, use whatever label you wish. (Labels can matter and I say "smut" because it sounds silly and less dignified but mileage varies a lot.) Seems like a good topic for the next "spoilerific" tier post.

In fact, I've thought about doing something like this for years on my blog, but getting prompted by a couple questions and comments here makes the Patreon feel like maybe a better first audience.

The main reason I haven't done such a post before is I have struggled with how to organize it, and I'm still struggling with that, but hey I still have thoughts and maybe advice.

SO! Does anyone have questions? Stuff you wonder about writing, either for yourself or just wondering what goes on in the writer's brain? Things you've always wanted to say? Hit me up! Ask about characters. Ask about word choice. Ask about kinks or pacing. Whatever.

Also, if you're reluctant to put your Patreon name to a question in a comment thread here, you can instead hit me up through the "Messages" tab (should be a little dialogue icon near the top left of your screen under your user icon) and I'll address it without sharing your name.

PS: I've done this sort of thing at a lot of con panels, and they're usually a riot. So I'm pretty much guaranteed to be silly about this, but also honest.  :)

Comments

Brandon Teasdale

I know you did a lot of writing on Literotica before publishing your first book. Are those stories still available? What name did you publish under?

Stray cats

How do you learn about sex between lesbians? Do you research or watch videos for graphic infomration? More like how do you do for writing sex scenes in general? Do you study human anatomy? Sexology or psychology?

Skye Kahoali'i

One of the best real-time, off the top of your head, explore new and different kinks safely, immediate feedback tools I've ever found for writing erotica is in chat clients as used to be in the Yahoo Adult chatrooms, and still exists somewhat in Literotica, Discord and Chatzy. A writer can get very attuned to exactly what turns people on and off, as well as getting very good practice at paying attention to what a partner, or the larger audience of a room wants to see via literary porn. If you do get details wrong (or right) you do get immediate feedback, much of it somewhat vague but there are people who can articulate quite intelligently as far as critiques go. Seeing the breadth of names chosen for room interests alone is eye-opening as I'm sure you know if you ever visited the chat forums on Lit. I learned a lot about many kinks just from conversing with people you meet in rooms, who for the most part are fairly conventional in other parts of their lives. What tools do you use? Beyond reading a lot of smut, something I also do. And modern romances are a veritable dragon's hoard of ideas and very in-depth treatments of the emotional side of sex.

Vairya1

How do you balance being tasteful (using euphemisms like "stem," "center," "core" etc.) with actually calling things what they are & being properly descriptive? (i.e. I've found that actually using words like "labia" can make a piece hotter.) I know visuals are important, but they aren't all of what decides if a scene is hot or not. I've read authors who can write highly effective, breathlessly riveting romance scenes that use words like "desire" and "need" rather than "juices" and "cock." I think part of the key there is to get the audience invested in a romance pairing, (though how to actually do that is something that challenges me) so that when the moment finally comes, the audience already has a lot of built-up anticipation. Scene tension also seems like it can play a big role, like if we're seeing a romance between two potential adversaries (who are also basically hormonal teenagers). Is there anything else major I should be thinking about? Oh, and this is the biggest one: How do you approach writing something that's designed to leave the audience in a fog of lust without getting lost in that fog yourself as you're writing it? I find it hard to think and write clearly when I'm hot and bothered.

Joshuah Stolaroff

How do you decide when to make a love scene explicit vs. when to cut away? Also, how do you think about the narrative role of an explicit love scene? Is it typically a beat in the act structure or hero's journey or whatever?

Anthea Strezze

When I read books with smut, I usually wind up skipping the sex scenes because they feel more awkward than hot for me. Yours I actually read and enjoy, and I'm not sure why it's such a different experience. So I guess my question is: how do you integrate the sex scenes so seamlessly into the overall narrative, and is it something you do intentionally or more the result of your overall writing style?

RH

How do you choose who’s hooking up with whom in a specific story. Do you see what’s convenient to the plot or weave the plot around smut you have in mind?