hello! <3 (how is your day?) (Patreon)

(little tw for eating disorders, mentioned in paragraph 5 in case you wanna avoid that!!)

hi everyone! how is your day? today is a calm day for me, but i am quite bored. it’s way too hot to go outside, 33°C on the thermometer and it’s only getting hotter ;_;

nothing is going on for now, i do have an event at the end of the week and next weekend there is a small cosplay gathering, at a local geek pub. i will cosplay sigewinne from genshin impact, a recently released character along with the fontaine region.

on another note, job hunting isn’t going well,,, i’m forced to quit smoking due to a lack of stable income, which is not a bad thing. truth be told my addiction got worse in the past weeks, going from a pack every two days to a pack every 24 hours,,,, many jobs that i applied to have refused me from the very start, not even giving me the chance at an interview which i think is unfair. i have experience and a good work ethic, i am always on time and i do my tasks. sadly the pay is terrible in all entry level jobs. to be honest, i don’t even want high pay, it’s just so frustrating i can’t do anything at all, i’m rotting away in a time where i’m actually stable enough to work!!!! they keep whining on the news that youths don’t want to work, but refuse to even give us a chance!!!!! arghhhhhh i hate you capitalism !!!!!!!!!!

i’m sorry for being so down, but it’s quite saddening.

in other news, i would like to thank everyone who has subbed to this patreon and sent me donations through kofi. they truly mean so much!! thanks to them, i was able to get some necessities and some overall things i needed to better my cosplay so i could provide better content ^_^ i also,,,, got a little something i wanted for a long time, a randoseru that i found for fairly cheap,,,, i know it’s impulsive spending and that money could have been used for groceries or help with rent, but i still had some left to do that too (๑>؂<๑)۶ so yes, i am beyond thankful for all your support and i hope to provide stuff that’s worth seeing. it’s always been my dream to be important and needed in the world, even a bit! i know i can’t make a huge change, save the world or something, but if even one person smiles because of me, i am happy.

(tw)

my head hurts, i barely got any sleep last night and i’m so hungry,,,,, i relapsed with my eating disorder about 2 or 3? weeks ago. i am desperate to lose weight under any means, i feel so unworthy at my current weight, i want my perfect body back. i do so much emotional eating and the mental hunger is insane. i wanna look like those perfect cosplayers, with pretty and thin legs, soft thin arms and flat tummies. i am not worthy of your praise and attention if i don’t work hard on my appearance. i am commited to look perfect by the next con, not only my body but my face and cosplays too!!!

(end of tw)

thank you for being here another day and i apologize if i worried you in any way (இ﹏இ`｡) i promise i have everything under control au auu

i will manage, i will work things out and i will make you proud to be following me!

today’s questions are: have you ever worked before? if yes, what was your first job?

i can’t wait to read all of your answers!!!

see you tomorrow!!

much love, soda.