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Last Book Ask! (Patreon)

Published:
2020-09-15 00:06:48
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Hey everybody! I am writing about the importance of relationships when recovering from trauma. This includes ways it can go bad (or signs that it has), ways you got it back on track, and overall how helpful relationships are. If you have any stories about relationships and their role in your recovery.. please message me with them!! Thank you so so much! This is my last chapter!! Hooray!!! xoxo 

Comments

Shay

Woohoo last chapter 🥰 congrats

BinsQ

I think the main thing outside of the therapeutic relationship is to have people in your life who give you the right amount of space. My friends would always invite to their events and parties and sometimes I would turn up. When I got a lot better, the overriding message from these friends was "Welcome back. It's so good to have you in our lives again." So I would to say to anyone trying to support a trauma sufferer, be there, gently keep that person in your sights but don't apply to much pressure. Let them know you're waiting in the wings for them to step out on the stage and take their life back. Make sure to cheer when they do.

BinsQ

*too much

Sherry L.

Well for me , my childhood sexual abuse of 11 yrs. was my trauma. I had a few relationships through out my life and codependency was a huge factor in all of them! I kind of just stopped even trying to have a relationship after my 30’s. I had very low self esteem because I always thought it was my fault when we broke up, or when there was tension within the relationship. I think because I had no sense of myself, and because I was so messed up from the trauma I endured, that I had to be the only one in the relationship bringing on the stress, lack of trust. So eventually I felt like I was defective. That I wasn’t capable of being part of a relationship. Currently, I’m still no longer in any kind of a relationship. I have no desire to try to have one. I think my fear of intimacy and past failures are my major reason for not having one.

Ray Wood
>>44058408

Create a new private message to her here on Patreon by going to the little blue envelope in messages on the Patreon app or the little messages symbol on the top right of the web page.

Shawn Phillips

For me I met a friend in a coworker who by sheer chance opened up to me and told me about her trauma. When that happened it took me 3 days of thinking about it but for the first time in 41 years I opened up to what happened to me then she opened up more and I opened up more. I think we told each other all our traumas and for the first time I started having all the emotions and started therapy and working out and I think I cried for like 2 weeks straight. My therapist said it was like finally grieving for all the pain I buried for 41 years. I couldn’t have opened up with our that trust to start it off.

Christina Rose

Ways it can go bad is all I know.... my ex-husband- married for 7, together for 13- Told me that the things that happened to me were because “I’m easy” I’m learning more now in therapy and from you- that he was, and still is a narcissist. There were good times and I get the- “don’t be upset, it’s what was needed.” I was/am upset but only because I couldn’t make it work. I know you say people can change, but I don’t believe he can. He’s be the same narcissist asshole the entire time. The only positive things that came out of the relationship are my two girls. As I’ve said in a recent post to you (and you replied 😊) I began therapy in August/September (august was like the intake and getting to know, my comfort level.) was every 2 weeks and my therapist came to realize quickly that weekly was needed. She has since diagnosed me with Borderline personality disorder (eating disorder or disordered eating- self harm- anxiety/depression, and the best of me all- abandonment issues!) This being said- I go to sleep listening to your voice. I know I have my girls (but they are children) and I have a handful of people I can count on. But I’m afraid to always be bugging them and it will drive them away. I pretend you’re talking to me sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️ I know that’s not possible but helps me add one more person to my brain of thoughts. There’s so much more that I’m learning. Working on coping skills, needless to say I suck at them. I know them- but in moments of distress I have no fucking clue what to do. I don’t know why. And I don’t think I’m explaining it well enough to my therapist. Whom now I’m a little attached to- I have that though of what if I have to switch or something, even though I’m not. Ugh. But back to the relationship and trauma- he wasn’t helpful at all- Also I am that person who either tells a little or ALL. Ughhh too. Lol

Christina Rose

I don’t know how to send you stuff so I sent it both ways 😂

Christina Rose

Oh and he’s always accusing me of things- that aren’t true. It would get to a point that I would start believing. So not only do I have childhood/teenage trauma- I have him too. Yea I’m broken 🧐